Unfolding
by harperpitt
Summary: A dead dog, a drunk Edward, and Bella is thrown into the game when she spills some red wine. Slightly darkish at times, but a HEA is guaranteed. Short, unbeta'ed chapters. A writing exercise. AH.
1. Chapter 1

strongPenname/strong: harperpitt

strongOriginal or Derivative (fanfiction)/strong: Derivative

strongRating/Warning(s)/Note(s)/strong: T

strongDisclaimer/strong: All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

strongPrompt/strong: Spill

[spoiler]

oOoa

She knew it was going to happen half a second before it did. One moment, she was smiling at an elderly gentleman who asked her for a glass of soda, the next, the balance of the tray in her hands got only slightly upset, but it was enough. Enough to upset the two remaining glasses of Cabernet. She could do nothing but watch helplessly as the red fluid poured over the starched white of her blouse before the glasses landed with an excruciating crash on the marble floor.

All eyes were immediately upon her, or rather, on the cause of the noise of shattering glass. Bella felt her cheeks get hot. She squatted down to scramble up the biggest of the glass shards.

"Oh dear," some woman said. "Hopefully she didn't cause a stain on that lovely floor."

A second later, Jasper knelt down next to her with a dustpan and hand brush.

"Don't," he said softly. "You'll give yourself a cut."

He swept up the remains of her accident and swiftly wiped the floor with a bunch of paper towels.

"I'm so sorry, Jasper," she whispered. "What… what do I do now?"

They both eyed her shirt. Red wine had soaked the front and almost all of the right sleeve. There was no way she was going to be able to work like this – and the evening had only begun.

Bella felt tears spring to her eyes, not just for her mortification, but for another, much more practical reason. She needed the money that would come from this evening. She had promised Jasper to work the whole shift. They had been setting up since the early afternoon, stocking bars with glasses and wine, decorating tables, shining silverware, carrying boxes with plates to the long buffet. Bella was going to stay until the end, which would be long, long after midnight.

She swallowed.

"Come," Jasper said. "Maybe one of the other girls has a second shirt." He pulled her to the kitchen.

In there, everyone was hustling and bustling, refilling glasses, stacking dirty plates, throwing away half-eaten pieces of finger food.

"Oh my God, Bella!" Angela was the first to notice her co-worker's outfit. Her brown eyes were filled with sympathy.

"Hey guys," Jasper called into the room. "Does anyone have a shirt that Bella can wear?"

Blank faces, shrugs. Felix turned from his spot at the back door where he was smoking. He shook his head. The air coming in from his spot was chilly and Bella shivered slightly.

"Shit," Bella whispered. She looked up into Jasper's calm grey eyes. "What do I do? I can't go home and fetch a fresh one, it would take me one hour at least, one and a half more likely." She bit her lip in despair, willing the threatening tears away.

"Don't cry, sweetie." Jasper rubbed her clean arm. "Here's what I'll do. I'm going to ask Rosalie if she can borrow you something."

"But that's… this is her party! You can't go and ask the hostess for a shirt because one of the dumb servers…"

"No big deal." Jasper shrugged one shoulder. "I know her husband and her."

Bella's big round eyes grew even bigger.

"Emmett, her husband, and I met in college. It's really no problem, Bella. Okay?"

"Okay," Bella whispered, and Jasper left the kitchen.

She could do nothing but wait, and hope that his quest was successful. She couldn't afford to do without the remaining seven or eight hours.

[/spoiler]


	2. Chapter 2

strongPenname/strong: harperpitt

strongOriginal or Derivative (fanfiction)/strong: Derivative

strongRating/Warning(s)/Note(s)/strong: rated K

strongDisclaimer/strong: All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

strongPrompt/strong: Dim

[spoiler]

While Bella nervously waited for Jasper to return, Nettie strolled over from the spot where she had been standing, chatting, or rather flirting, with Demitri.

"Gosh, Bella, what did you do to yourself?" She shook her head, a saccharine smile on her red lips. "Are you sure that this is the right job for you?"

Bella rolled her eyes.

"Shit happens, I guess."

Nettie raised one thin eyebrow and was about to reply something when the door opened and Angela came in, carrying a tray with empty glasses. Following her, Jasper entered the kitchen. He carried a large number of plates, setting them down and depositing them in the grey plastic boxes they had come in. He gave Bella a smile.

"Come on, sweetie."

"What? Where?"

"Rosalie is going to borrow you a shirt!"

Bella followed him outside, embarrassed at her appearance. The forty or so guests were eagerly raiding the buffet that had been set up in the dining room.

"Come." Jasper crossed the room and led her to the staircase, where Rosalie McCarty stood. She was smiling at Bella.

"Oh dear. No wonder Jasper asked for a blouse. You look as if you'd bathed in wine." It wasn't unfriendly, her face and voice sympathetic.

Bella shrugged uncomfortably. "Yes, I'm very sorry about that."

"It could have happened to anyone," Rosalie replied lightly.

She was a beautiful, tall, blonde woman, impeccably and expensively dressed in a black silk dress.

"Come," she told Bella. "I'm sure we'll find something for you."

Jasper gave Bella an encouraging smile and turned back to the party to continue clearing tables and serving champagne.

The McCartys' house was enormous. Bella had known that they were rich – Emmett McCarty was a well-known author of crime novels, and Rosalie was a TV journalist. Her show "Voices of London" ran every Sunday night.

Large framed black-and-white photographs decorated the walls above the stairwell. They seemed to show details of trees and gardens, but Bella couldn't be sure.

Rosalie switched on a light as they had reached the first floor. Rich carpets, an antique chest of drawers, chandeliers.

"Do you often work for Jasper?" Rosalie asked, opening a door to what must have been her bedroom.

"Once or twice a week," Bella said. "Whenever I can make time."

"Are you a student?" Rosalie said, opening another door, switching on another light.

Bella followed her from the dim light of the bedroom into the biggest walk-in closet she had ever seen. Not that she had seen many of them, only on TV.

Rows and rows of dresses, shoes, handbags, coats – a girly paradise.

"Yes," she replied. "I study Linguistics at the University of Westminster."

"That's fascinating," Rosalie said, rummaging through a wide selection of blouses and shirts. "Here," she said, turning. "This should fit you. I'm a little taller than you, but try it on."

"Thank you."

"I'll wait outside."

Rosalie discreetly left her and Bella loosened her black tie peeled off her stained shirt. She could tell that Rosalie's was much more expensive than hers – she couldn't spill on it again. The sleeves were a bit too long, but Bella tucked it into her pants and stepped outside of the closet. She stepped back into the bedroom, which was still almost dark.

"I'm in the bath," Rosalie called from her left. "Just one second!"

Bella waited, feeling a little uncomfortable in a stranger's bedroom. As her eyes adjusted to what little light there was coming from the bathroom, she noticed a shape on the large double bed.

Someone was lying there, sleeping.

[/spoiler]


	3. Chapter 3

oOo

In the half-light, Bella could make out the silhouette of a man. He was lying on his side, his back to her.

She had seen Emmett McCarty before she had followed Rosalie upstairs, so it could not be him. Maybe one of the guests had wandered around the house? Maybe he had been drunk and fallen asleep on his host's bed?

"Um, Rosalie," Bella began, walking in the direction of the bathroom.

"Yes, does it fit?" Right then, Rosalie joined her. "Oh, you're standing here in the dark, let me see you." She switched on the lights.

"There's… there's someone…" Bella pointed in the direction of the bed, where the man was now moving, turning in their direction with a groan.

"For heaven's sake, Edward!" Rosalie didn't even flinch. "Why didn't you just say something?"

The man was rubbing a hand over his face. He was fully dressed in a grey suit and white button down. His hair was pointing every which way. He groaned again.

"Don't yell at me, Ro." His voice was husky. He sat up slowly and buried his face in his hands. He was wearing socks, and his shoes were placed next to the bed. Bella noticed that his feet were quite big.

Rosalie stepped to the man and sat down next to him. She placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I couldn't… it was just… Oh, fuck." He ran his fingers through the mess on top of his head and sighed deeply. Bella wasn't sure, but could it be that his speech was slow and ever so slightly slurred?

"Um, Rosalie," Bella made her presence known. "Thanks for the shirt. I'm, um, going to get back down…"

For the first time, the man – Edward – looked up. It appeared that he hadn't even been aware of a third person's presence in the room.

He was pale, and beautiful. His expression, though, was one of annoyance.

"Who are you?"

"I'm… I'm from the catering crew. I spilled wine on my shirt and…"

He watched her from bloodshot eyes, his face devoid of any emotion. He rubbed his forehead as if suffering from an especially awful type of headache that could only be caused by clumsy waitresses.

"Ro," he muttered. "Can you please, please send her away?"

He was talking about her as if she wasn't standing a few feet from them.

"I'm sorry, I was just – "

"Just GO!" he shouted, looking at her for a second before dropping his head back into his hands.

"I'm sorry," Bella said again, her voice low but strong. She was here as a waitress, not as a doormat, and she hadn't done anything to provoke this person's hateful attitude. "If someone ran over your puppy, don't take it out on me!" She moved to walk away, turning by the door and addressing Rosalie. "Thank you again."

Her face flushed from anger and adrenaline, she walked down the hallway. Laughter and voices met her from downstairs. Now, despite needing the money, she would have loved nothing more than to leave this house.

"Hey," Jasper said as she returned to the kitchen. "You look like new!" He smiled. Jasper was the most relaxed person she knew.

And one of the most intuitive. Of course he noticed that something was wrong.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Bella nodded. "There was just this asshole, Edgar or Edward or whatever his name is. He was asleep in Rosalie's bed and yelled at me for, well, basically just for being alive."

"Oh, Edward?" Jasper said, apparently familiar with his name. "Poor guy." He shook his head. "From what Emmett told me, life's not been easy for him lately. And then today, his dog died. Emmett said that he'd had him for like fifteen years. He's absolutely heartbroken."

Bella closed her eyes.

"Fuck my life," she whispered.

oOo


	4. Chapter 4

Word prompt: pipe

oOo

Work continued for the next few hours. Bella collected empty plates and glasses and helped Jasper loading the SUV with stuff they didn't need any longer. The sooner they started, the sooner they'd be able to get things back to Brixton, where his and Alice's catering company had its base.

Alice, his wife, was a chef, and it were her dishes and creations that had founded the reputation of "Whitlock's Brand". She had been at the McCartys' home earlier today when the buffet was being set up.

Bella didn't mind packing up stuff in the kitchen or carrying things outside. Anything that decreased her chances of running into Edward again after that monumental faux pas earlier.

Her cheeks got warm again as she thought back to it. He'd had no right to yell at her, sure, but now, knowing what she knew, she understood. She'd be devastated if anything happened to Pookie, the family dog that lived with her parents. Every Sunday when she visited with them, Pookie would run around her in circles, practically grinning at her return.

An hour after the incident, Rosalie had come up to her.

"I'm sorry about my brother's behaviour," she'd said, but Bella had shaken her head. Jasper had already filled her in on the details – one of them being that Edward was Rosalie's older brother – and assured Rosalie that she was okay. Still, she wasn't eager to meet him again, given his mood and their earlier encounter.

It was around two that the last of the guests were leaving. Jasper was outside, loading chafing dishes into the car while Bella wiped the counters in the big kitchen. If all went well, they'd be finished within half an hour. Jasper had already dismissed Angela and Nettie and Felix, so it was only him and Bella. Every single one of her bones felt tired, and her feet hurt. Thank God, she could sleep in tomorrow. Her parents didn't expect her before one p.m. for lunch, and knowing her sister, Jackie would probably be even later. She was notorious for her Saturday-nightly bar hopping.

Jasper returned to the kitchen, sweat on his brow. He lifted two racks of wine glasses, speaking over his shoulder on his way to the door.

"Bella, can you get me the duct tape?"

"Sure." Bella smiled. Duct tape was Jasper's answer to any and every technical problem. She had once seen him fix an exhaust pipe with it.

She grabbed it from one of the boxes and followed Jasper outside into the foyer. He had moved the car to the front door after all the guests had left, so they needn't carry things around the house any longer. The night air was slightly chilly, but still surprisingly mild for late October. Bella suppressed a yawn as she crossed the foyer. She was hungry. The staff had eaten around ten, when work had slowed down, but she'd had no appetite. Now, she realised that her last meal had been a sandwich right before starting work more than twelve hours ago.

"Thanks," Jasper said when she handed him the tape. "Just a few more racks, and the trash, and we're good to go. D'you want me to drop you off at home?"

Bella lived in a tiny apartment in Fulham that was the size of a shoebox with a ridiculously high rent – one of the reasons she worked for Jasper. To her, it was still better than sharing with a roommate.

"That'd be great," she said. "Unless you want me to help you unload?"

"No," Jasper replied. "Ally and I will do it tomorrow."

"Okay. I'll go get back inside and finish with the kitchen."

She slipped back inside the house and headed in the direction of the kitchen, when some movement by the stairs caught her attention.

Of course, it was Rosalie's brother, looking even more drunk and dishevelled than seven hours ago.


	5. Chapter 5

Word prompt: glaze

oOo

"Whoops. Still here, are you?"

He eyed her from the bottom of the stairs. He was carrying a bottle of Scotch in his right hand.

"Yes. Um, yes, I am." Bella tried to shake her head free from exhaustion and tiredness.

She was not willing to be yelled at again.

While she felt sorry for Rosalie's brother, who had lost his dog, she also was still hurt and angry. Above all, she was tired. And she was not going to delay her departure by talking to him.

She walked to the kitchen.

She could hear the shuffling of his feet as Edward followed her slowly.

Bella started collecting the last bits and pieces from the counters, storing them in a box.

"Msorry."

"Excuse me?"

She turned around. Edward was leaning against the wall, his eyes glazed over, his posture sagging.

"Smorry..."

And like jello, he relaxed, sliding down against the wall. Once he had plopped down on the floor, he sniffled, a broken sob escaping his throat.

"Well, great," Bella muttered under her breath. He'd been an asshole earlier, sure, but she couldn't very well let him sit there like that. Could she?

"Edward?" Bella knelt down next to him. "Edward?"

"Sorry," he mumbled, rubbing at his eyes. "It's just… my… my… Milo…" He sniffled again, finally looking up from sad, red eyes. "My dog, Milo, died earlier today."

"I know," Bella said. As sorry as she felt for him, she wondered what she was supposed to do. All she wanted was to go home. If only Jasper would come back!

"I'm very sorry, Edward."

"Mhm, yeah…" He closed his eyes and let his head sink back against the wall. Even with his cheeks blotchy and red and his forehead creased, his face was very handsome.

She was still pondering what to say when Edward let out a mixture between a sigh and a snore.

"Edward?" She shook his arm.

"Edward?" She shook his shoulder.

He made a whiney noise.

Bella sat down next to him, the kitchen tile cold against her butt.

Why, oh why?

"Edward!" She patted his cheek. It was stubbly and soft and felt strangely nice.

"Hmm..." he sighed, moved, and placed his head in her lap.

"Um, Edward, excuse me, no, you can't do this. Wake up, Edward!"

But he was fast asleep, the deep, comatose, sleep that followed the best part of the bottle of Glenlivet by his feet.

Bella looked at him.

His face was much too pretty.

"Edward!" Once more, she shook his arm, but all he did was groan as he made himself more comfortable.

The weight of his head in her lap felt… nice.

Bella began to fumble for her phone in order to call Jasper.

"Bella?"

Just then, Jasper peeked into the kitchen.

"We're ready to... Oh."

"Yeah, right. What do we do now?"

"Wake him?" Jasper suggested hopefully.

"You think I didn't try?"

Jasper shook Edward's arm.

"Mmm," Edward replied, and wrapped said arm around Bella's thigh.

"Edward!"

Jasper was not her friend for nothing. He took Edward's shoulders and shook him.

"Edward, earth to Edward! Wake up!"

Edward's expression changed from relaxation to pain.

"What?" he mumbled.

He sniffled and secured his lock around Bella's leg.

"Edward, please let us help you upstairs, okay? We need to leave."

"Don't... Please don't go..." he whispered. He looked up at her, his eyes hooded and filled with pain.

And then he went back to soft snores.


	6. Chapter 6

Prompt: Deadline

oOo

Bella was lying in bed, but despite the fact that she was deadly tired, she could not sleep. She couldn't stop thinking about Edward. Of the way his head had felt in her lap, his strong arm wrapped around her leg. She should be disgusted by his behaviour, but her only emotion was… concern.

In a combined effort, Jasper and Emmett McCarty had carried Edward to the sofa in the living room. Rosalie wouldn't stop apologizing, but both Jasper and Bella had been gracious about it, saying that something like that had happened to everyone at some point, and that it was quite understandable for Edward to be distressed since his dog had died that day.

They had wished the McCartys a good night and had left.

What Bella couldn't stop thinking about was the remark she had overheard from Rosalie when she was draping a blanket over her brother's sleeping form. It had been low and certainly was not meant for anybody's ears but her husband's – maybe not even for his. Perhaps she had only been talking to herself, but Bella's overtired mind kept repeating the words over and over as she lay in the dark.

"I thought he was getting better."

.

It was dawning by the time she fell into a fitful sleep, which was ended all too soon by the beeping of her alarm. Like every Sunday, her parents were expecting her for lunch, and Bella had promised to bring dessert. Having taken a shower, she set to work, drinking several cups of coffee in between. She was just taking the apple crumble from the oven when her phone rang, displaying her friend Alice's face.

"Bella," she gasped instead of a greeting. "Jazzy told me what happened last night. Oh God, how awful! I'm so sorry I wasn't there!"

"It's okay," Bella sighed. She had actually managed not to think about last night for at least ten minutes. "He was just really drunk. I'm sure he didn't mean any harm."

"Are you really all right? Should I come over later? I mean, we still have to unload the van, but later…"

"I'm really all right." Bella smiled. Alice was one of the most caring people she knew. "Listen, I need to get going, my parents are expecting me, but I'll call you when I'm back, okay?"

"Would you like to drop by?"

"I can't, actually. I have a deadline for a paper I need to finish. But I promise to call, okay?"

"Okay." She could actually hear the pout in Alice's voice.

.

Her mum remarked on the shadows under Bella's eyes and told her that she should eat more. Her dad hugged her close, smiling under his moustache, and slipped her a fifty-pound note. Her sister, with her characteristic crudeness, enquired whether Bella had been meeting any men lately, while stuffing her face with roast beef.

If they weren't so alike physically, Bella would never believe that Jackie was her relation. At twenty-one, she was three years younger than Bella, and totally different. Where Bella had always been quiet but self-confident, Jackie was extroverted and prone to drama. Where Bella took after their father, Jackie was the spitting image of their mum.

"Everything okay, pumpkin?" Charles, her dad, asked as they were talking a walk after lunch. She nodded and yawned, explaining that her workload had increased with the beginning of the autumn semester, which he accepted – and which, actually, was the truth.

She wouldn't tell him about the beautiful, distraught man who had drunkenly begged her not to go last night.

**oOo**

**A/N:**

**Thank you for all your lovely reviews. The response makes me really, really happy, and I am open for your ideas and suggestions.**

**LOL: I watched Robert Pattinson giving an interview just now. He was asked about the one film that always makes him cry, and he said **_**Marley and Me**_**. He wouldn't stop going on about it, how horrible it was when the dog died…**


	7. Chapter 7

Prompt: Defy

oOo

Edward Cullen woke with the most splitting headache mankind had ever known. He tried to open his eyes, but they felt as if someone had glued his eyelids together.

Water.

What he needed was water.

Blinking, he saw the edge of a coffee table, and a green carpet.

Fuck, did he vomit on that?

He tried to remember, but his brain refused to work.

Water.

What he needed was water.

Finally forcing his eyes open, Edward tried to decipher where he was.

He had just decided that this was a very good plan, when a glass with a bubbly white fluid was placed on the coffee table with a shattering thud.

Edward groaned and turned away, pulling the blanket – oh, there was a blanket – over his ears and closed his eyes.

Bad idea.

His stomach and brain immediately went on a rollercoaster, making Edward jump and run, making it just in time to the bathroom, where he was violently sick.

.

When Edward woke the next time, he was covered with fresh-smelling sheets. The room was quiet and dark. Next to him, on the nightstand, was a large glass of water, a bottle of aspirin and a plate with a few slices of toast.

The ancient alarm clock that had once belonged to his grandmother told him that it was six-thirty.

It couldn't be six-thirty. He could dimly remember the morning sun shining into the living room when he had woken the first time. A look out the window of the guest room he was in confirmed his suspicion: it was six-thirty, p.m.

Slowly, he sat up, defying the lingering nausea.

He gulped down the glass of water, throwing in an aspirin in between.

His head felt like someone was drilling holes from the inside.

His stomach growled and he eyed the toast, but shuddered at the idea of food.

The only thing he wanted to do was to pull the sheets back over his head. But he knew that he was too old to pull off that kind of shit. And that Ro would never talk to him again.

That thought finally made Edward Cullen leave the bed, and the room.

The house was silent as he walked to the bathroom at the end of the hallway. Edward slipped into the shower after he'd raided the cabinets for a spare toothbrush, scrubbing violently. He wrapped a towel around his waist when he was done and hurried back to the guestroom, where he had no choice but to pull on his clothes from last night.

He felt disgusting as he began his walk of shame, passing the huge black-and-white photographs in the hallway. Those photographs he loved so much. One showed a rose, but it was only recognizable if one looked closely.

Rosalie was sitting in her room, silently typing at her laptop. Edward knocked on her open door and she turned around. She was wearing her glasses. She smiled, but she was clearly tired.

"Ro." He stepped into her room. "I'm so sorry." He leant against the doorframe.

"You were so much better over the last year," Rosalie said. "Ever since you returned from New York…"

"I know," Edward replied. "It was… It's just that Milo…" He shrugged helplessly. "We had him since he was a puppy. We picked him up from that farm. We were taking a walk, and there he was… And it was our honeymoon…" He shut his eyes for a moment, remembering that sunny day at the South of France, a lifetime away, so many years ago, when things had been good, when he had been happy.

He opened his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Will you help me bury him?"

oOo


	8. Chapter 8

Prompt: Crystal

oOo

Later that night, when Edward had returned to his own home in Maida Vale, he lay down on the sofa, the muted TV flickering against the high walls.

He and Rosalie had talked for almost two hours before he'd left. She had made him a bowl of soup and a sandwich, insisting he get some food into his stomach. Rosalie wasn't a motherly type, but she had a caring side to her, clearly inherited from their own mother. She, too, always asked Edward to take better care of himself, to eat properly, to drink more water (and less liquor), to maybe start practicing yoga again…

He'd always argued that he was walking Milo at least for two hours a day, even though Milo had gotten slower and more tired over the past year. His death had not been a surprise for Edward, but it hurt all the same.

That dog had been his companion for so long. He'd been there for him when human company could do nothing to mend his broken heart. Of course, it had gotten easier over the last few years, and therapy had helped. So had time, and six years WAS a long time. He had slowly returned to life with the support of his family and friends. Not that he had very many friends, being the loner he was.

But then, part of that was dictated by his occupation. Painting was something you did on your own. He never had minded the fact. He wasn't very good at being the centre of attention. Michael, his agent, always had to psyche him up before a vernissage. Well, Edward would mostly medicate himself with one or two glasses of Scotch.

Which led him back to last night.

He knew that he sometimes drank a bit too much, but there hadn't been any of the excessive boozing in at least three years.

Directly after, it had been bad, and there was a blank of about six months. The crystal carafe of Scotch on the sideboard had been his best friend back then.

There was a blank now, too.

Last night.

He had no idea what had happened. He remembered taking a taxi to Ro's after she'd talked him into it, saying he shouldn't be alone, with that dead dog in the trunk of his car. He'd had two beers before he left, and however-many tumblers of Scotch when he'd arrived at Ro's. All on an empty stomach.

He dimly remembered yelling at this girl, this waitress, and that Ro had scolded him.

There was a recollection of dark eyes, of warmth, but that had been in his alcohol-induced dreams. Still, THAT memory was strong, and oddly comforting, even though he had no idea where it came from.

He fell into his too large, too cold bed and pulled the blanket over his shoulders, falling asleep to the images of black-and-white roses and luminous, dark eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

**Prompt: Patience**

**oOo**

The next few weeks were drab and monotonous for Bella. There was a lot of school work, and she spent hours at the library or behind her laptop. Her friend Leah and she went to see a movie one night, and to a bar another, but apart from that, life was pretty predictable, and Bella was content with it.

Alice had called her a couple of times and they had discussed the incident with Edward again, but Alice couldn't really enlighten her on his problems, or whether there were any problems to begin with, besides the fact that he'd been drunk as a skunk that night.

Bella often thought of him, even though she didn't know why. Something about him had… touched her, in a way she couldn't explain to herself. She didn't dwell on it however, letting the memory of him come and go.

Her sister had fallen in love with a guy named Paul and never stopped enthusing about him. Their mum was taking pottery classes and didn't stop bringing home vases and plates. Daddy Charles, who was a social worker, was trying to stop smoking and kept puffing on a ridiculous electronic cigarette. Pookie was his usual boisterous self.

The last October weekend brought a multitude of events at Whitlock's Brand. Bella worked at a brunch on Saturday, and tended the bar at an art gallery opening that night. On Sunday, she helped Alice set up a lunch buffet at the French Embassy in Knightsbridge served beverages and helped clean afterwards. It was dark by the time she returned to her apartment, and she was thoroughly tired.

She took a bath and retired to bed with a book, yawning happily at the thought that she could sleep in the next day.

Monday came with golden sunshine, and after two mugs of coffee, Bella took the District Line to Notting Hill Gate, where she changed for the Central Line to Tottenham Court Road. Luckily, the tube wasn't as crammed as it would be during rush hour, and she even got to sit down. She needed to buy a birthday gift for her sister, and also planned to start looking for Christmas presents. Bella wasn't a very enthusiastic shopper, and the fact that she didn't have a lot of money never made it any easier. With the upcoming holiday season though, there would be plenty of working for Jasper and Alice.

She went to a multitude of shops on Oxford Street, ending up with a pink muffler and woollen hat for Jackie. It was close to three p.m. when she decided she'd had enough. She made one last stop at Boots to buy such necessities as shampoo and conditioner, tampons, and toothpaste. She stood in line, pondering whether she should buy herself a sandwich or wait until she got home. She hadn't had any breakfast, and now, her stomach was growling.

Behind her, somebody put two boxes of Paracetamol and some vitamin C pills on the conveyor belt, tapping his long fingers in impatience. It was annoying, and after thirty seconds, Bella turned to look at him, her eyes growing wide.

His hair was as tousled as she remembered it several times a day, and he looked tired, dark smudges under fierce green eyes. He seemed to be just as shocked as she felt, staring down at her.

"Bella," he said softly.

**oOo**

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews! They make me happy!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Prompt: Rotten**

**oOo**

Edward stared down at her, vague memories flooding his brain.

Furious brown eyes, barely hiding the hurt behind them before she'd left Ro's bedroom. He'd yelled at her, the waitress, and she'd basically told him to go and fuck himself, if he remembered correctly.

Another foggy memory. Warmth, softness, a clean girly smell.

She stared at him. She was blushing.

"That'll be eight fifty-nine," the clerk said. She turned back around and fumbled for her money. Hectically, she gathered her items and stuffed them into her bag.

Oh, the tampons. Was that why her cheeks were red?

"I didn't think you'd remember my name," she said. Her skin was so pale, her eyes… yes, he definitely could remember those eyes, if not consciously.

"It is Bella, isn't it?" Suddenly he was petrified. Had he gotten it wrong?

"Yes. Yes it is."

"I'm Edward." He offered her his hand, and after a second, she reached out, placing her small, soft palm in his.

"I know," she said, a hint of a smile on her lips.

Edward paid for his items while Bella hovered in apparent indecision, biting her lip. God, she was beautiful! Had he really yelled at that girl?

"Look." Edward took a step in her direction. "I'm very sorry about that night. I… frankly, my memory of it is not very good." He tried a smile. "Actually, it's rotten. I know I was a complete asshole to you though, because I talked to my sister the next day."

"It's… it's okay," Bella whispered.

"It's not," he said. "It was out of line, and I am sorry."

"Okay."

"Um, would you…"

Shit, he didn't even know anymore how to do this.

And he had no idea what THIS even was.

"Would you like to…" He cleared his throat, and told himself that he was forty, not fourteen. "Would you like to have a coffee?"

"With you?"

Her huge eyes widened.

"I'm… I'm sorry, I… I didn't mean to impose myself on you. You probably have better things to do on a Monday afternoon."

She bit her lip again, and he realized that it was a thing she did when she felt uncertain. Her brow creased as she tried to make a decision.

"Please," he said. "The least I can do is buy you coffee after the horrible way I treated you."

"I was going to get a sandwich," she finally said. "There's this little place around the corner?" She said it like a question.

"Okay," Edward said, and he didn't know why his heart was fluttering inside his chest.

They were silent as they made their way through the throngs of shoppers and tourists, turning into the quieter terrain of Rathbone Street.

"Here it is," Bella announced after a couple of minutes, pointing at a little café.

Edward opened the door for her and they stepped in. It was warm and cosy inside, and they settled down at a table in the back after ordering coffee and sandwiches at the counter.

"This is nice," Edward remarked. "Nice and quiet."

"Yes. I don't like those overrun chains. The coffee is ridiculously expensive."

Edward didn't really know what to say. It was simply something he'd never thought about. Never had had to think about.

"I guess so," he said.

"I'm sorry about your dog," she said. Their coffees arrived, and she smiled and thanked the waitress. "My family, we have a dog too. I'd die if anything happened to him."

"Yeah, it was pretty hard. But he was old. It was no surprise."

"Still," she said, staring at her mug.

They were silent again, but strangely, it didn't feel awkward to Edward. Which in itself was odd, because he was used to feeling awkward in the company of strangers.

Somehow, Bella didn't feel like a stranger.

**oOo**

**A/N: Sunday is a day off in the land of WitFit. I wish you all a wonderful weekend. Your reviews make me ridiculously happy**.


	11. Chapter 11

**This one was written without a word prompt.**

**oOo**

Bella couldn't believe that she was sitting here, with Edward.

He was looking different from what she remembered. He was clean-shaven, and clear-eyed. He was smiling.

He wasn't wearing a suit this time, but a black, v-necked sweater and jeans. His hair was wild.

"So… what do you do, Bella?"

"I'm studying Linguistics at the University of Westminster," she answered promptly.

"Do you want to be a teacher?"

"I'm not sure yet. Maybe."

"What made you choose that particular field?"

His green eyes told her that his interest was genuine.

"Really? This is embarrassing."

"Embarrassing?" He laughed softly, a warm sound. "So this should be interesting."

"My favourite movie always was 'My Fair Lady,'" she said. "I loved Henry Higgins' work. The way he loves language, how he cares about every syllable, every single pronunciation. I'm a bit like that myself."

"A speech-snob?"

"Yes," she smiled. "If you will."

"That's not embarrassing at all, I think. I'm very much a snob myself on certain fields."

"Like?"

"Colour. Canvases. Paper. Paint brushes."

"Is that what you do? Paint?"

He nodded his head. Just then, their sandwiches arrived, and for a couple of minutes, they ate silently. Bella studied him secretly from behind her tuna on rye. He seemed such an earnest person, and yet, from time to time, a spark would come through for a second or two.

"I don't know a lot about painting," she said, "but I love going to exhibitions and museums. What sort of work do you do?"

He looked up, chewing thoughtfully. He wiped his mouth with a paper napkin before he replied.

"I guess you could say that I am influenced by a number of Romantic painters, like Constable and Turner. But I like to mix that influence with how I see everyday life. So if you ask me, what do I paint?"

Bella nodded eagerly.

"Pretty boring stuff, I guess. A mum and her kid at the supermarket. A girl with ear buds, running through Hyde Park. A guy greeting his girlfriend at the tube station. A lady selling flow – "

"Oh my God, I know that one!" Bella interrupted. "The man greeting his girlfriend! They are totally enwrapped in each other. There's a little boy next to them, watching from his stroller, and a newspaper is fluttering in the draught from the train!"

His smile was bright.

"You're Edward Cullen!"

Her fingers flew to her lips. She had seen many, many of his works, admiring the wistfulness, the sense of longing in his pictures depicting everyday life. There always seemed to be some sadness to them, but also such beauty, as if to say, "It is what it is."

"That would be me." He watched her with a little crease between his eyebrows.

"I love your work," she stammered. "I… I didn't know…"

"Well, how would you? We only met once before today, and then I was yelling at you like an asshole."

"I'm embarrassed. You're famous!"

He shrugged one shoulder.

"It doesn't mean anything."

"You can't be serious."

Edward took his coffee mug and took one slow sip.

"My work means everything to me. The fact that people seem to like it, that they are willing to pay ridiculous sums, means that I can make a living from it. I'm thankful for that. That I don't have to sit in an office all day, or…"

"… or wait tables?" she finished for him.

"I'm sorry. I don't seem to be able to say anything to you without insulting you. I guess Ro is right, I'm too much alone. I've become a boor."

"You're not," she said quickly, and a sudden wave of tenderness washed over her heart.


	12. Chapter 12

**oOo**

"I can't believe we met today," he said after a long pause. "It's nice to talk to you. Tell me more about yourself, will you?"

Bella shook her head.

"I'm not very interesting."

"Then you don't see yourself very clearly."

His smile was honest, his eyes crinkling.

"What do you want to know?"

"What are you doing with the rest of your day?"

"I'm going home and study."

"Would…" He swallowed. "Would you be able to fit in a little walk?"

"A walk?" She realized she'd said it like she'd said, "With YOU?" earlier. "I'm sorry. A walk?"

"Regent's Park is beautiful at this time of year. The leaves are turning red and gold, and we're sure to see some squirrels, searching for nuts."

"Squirrels forget where they hide their nuts, did you know that?"

His eyes were shining.

"We might help them search."

.

Twenty minutes later, they were at the park, their feet scrunching on the gravel. The sun was preparing to set in lovely pinks and oranges, and Edward had been right: the colours were spectacular.

They didn't talk much, now and then remarking on something one of them had seen, otherwise walking in comfortable silence.

Bella hadn't noticed before how tall Edward was. His posture was upright, almost proud, even as he had his hands buried deep in the pockets of his jacket. Sometimes the light breeze played with his hair, making it point in various directions.

Once again, Bella wondered what had gotten her here, walking next to this beautiful man she almost didn't know. It was completely surreal. She thought about his paintings, and what kind of person he would be to paint them. Not a carefree, easy spirit. Deep, and warm, and enquiring. An old soul, maybe.

They sat down on a park bench, and Edward took his hands out of his pockets. His fingers were long. She could imagine them holding a paint brush.

"Why did you decide to become a painter?"

"Early on." He ran one hand through his unruly hair. "I was drawing pictures by the time I could hold a crayon. It's… it's the only thing I've ever done. The only thing I've ever known."

"Why do you think that is?"

"I don't know." He did that characteristic, one-sided shrug. "I don't question it."

"Are you the only artist in your family?"

Edward jaw tightened. It was miniscule, but Bella noticed.

"Let's walk some more, shall we?" she said, her voice a little too bright.

He seemed to relax once they were moving. He kicked a chestnut in front of him with expensive-looking shoes on large feet. She remembered how that was the first thing she's noticed about him.

A squirrel crossed their way, and both of them had to smile.

What would they be doing after this, Bella wondered. He was difficult, that much was certain. But she couldn't help it. Some part of her wanted to know him, however stupid that probably was.

Or was it?

**oOo**


	13. Chapter 13

oOo

They had reached the south entrance of the park.

"Well," Bella said. "I should go home now. I've got a lot of work to do."

"I'd say I'm sorry for keeping you from it." He gave her a half-smile. "But somehow, I'm not."

"Yes, it was nice," Bella said, suddenly feeling insecure, fiddling with her bags.

Edward scratched the back of his neck.

"Um, would you…" He shut his eyes for one second, and when he opened them again, there was so much hope, and sadness, and longing. "Will I see you again?"

"Uh, I don't know." She tried not to show her utter surprise. It had been nice, yes, but they clearly existed in two very different worlds.

"Forget it. Forget I said that," he said quickly. "I'm just a lonely, old fart."

"You're nothing of the kind! I was just… surprised, I guess."

"Yeah." He chuckled a little. "So was I."

"So you take it back?"

"Take it back?"

"Yes. You don't want to see me again?"

"Of course I do. I just didn't want to…"

"Okay. Saturday, three p.m., at the National Gallery?"

"Y-yes." He looked utterly shocked, green eyes wide and stunned.

"I'm looking forward to it," she said, gave him a smile, and turned.

Her heart was beating crazily inside her chest, astounded by her courage. Or maybe it was the adrenaline. Anyway, this was something Bella had never done. She had, basically, just asked Edward on a date. A museum date, but still. She was going to a museum. On Saturday. With Edward Cullen.

.

The rest of the week passed with agonizing slowness.

Bella put all her energy into work, and her professor, Dr. Littlesea, was quite happy with her progress. On Thursday, she helped Jasper set up for a party the next night at a private address in Shoreditch. They equipped the bar and prepared the buffet. They settled an extra-fridge in a spare room, and filled it with wine, champagne and beer.

"We're so lucky to have you, Bella," Jasper said when they were finished, giving her a hug. "Let's just hope no one wants to fall asleep on your lap again, huh?"

He smiled, and she knew it had been a joke, but she couldn't join in.

"I'm sure he didn't mean any harm," she said. "He must have been sad about his dog."

"Yeah," Jasper replied. "Sure. His dog."

"What do you mean?" She followed Jasper out into the dark and climbed into the van's passenger seat.

"That guy's a nutcase, Bella. I'm just sorry he chose you that night to share his brand of crazy with."

"What do you mean?" She hated repeating herself, but it was the only question that seemed correct.

Jasper started the car and went into reverse, leaving the driveway.

He looked at her, blonde curls in his eyes.

"What do you mean, what do I mean?" He frowned. "What's it to you?"

She had known Jasper long enough to see what he was doing. He was far too intuitive.

"Don't play mind games with me, Mr. Whitlock. What do you mean, he's a nutcase?"

"I don't even know him, Bella. It's just what I heard from his brother-in-law."

"Emmett McCarty."

"Yes. Emmett."

"What did he tell you?" Bella was now literally on tenterhooks.

"He… went through some bad stuff a few years ago. Jesus, Bella, why do you want to know this?"

"Just curiousity, I guess."

"I don't believe you."

"Okay, I met him again when we were queuing up at Boots. And we went for a walk, and I'm meeting him again on Saturday!"

She let out a huff, frustrated that Jasper had tricked her into telling.

Jasper was too quiet for a long time before he looked at her.

"I'm not sure that's such a good idea, Bella."

oOo


	14. Chapter 14

Edward was a nervous wreck all week.

When he returned home on Monday night, the first thing, as always these days, was the emptiness of the house. No Milo. No jumping Jack Russell. No fuzzy white fur and reddish ears.

That hair had always been such a challenge. Milo had been a rough-coated Jack Russell, and grooming him had taken up a lot of time. Edward smiled as he remembered how Milo would have looked after his – their – walk earlier. Dried leaves of all colours would stick to him, and he'd run around the house, shedding them as he went.

The only room he'd never been allowed in was Edward's studio. They'd made that mistake once. Only once.

He needed to repaint after that mistake, and not with his little brushes. Milo had left the walls with splotches of yellow and blue, the marks of his paws everywhere.

Edward got up from his sofa and went to the kitchen. The timer on the microwave told him in red blinking signs that it was after seven.

He should probably make dinner.

He wasn't hungry.

Instead, he opened one of the cabinets and took out a bottle of Glenlivet.

His mind and body were screaming not to do it, but his soul needed the oblivion only the bottle of Scotch could supply.

He regretted it the next morning, of course, waking with the dull headache he knew so well. It was nothing as bad as the morning after Ro's party, though, and Edward told himself to pull his shit together and man up.

He painted all day, and did the same on Wednesday. Thursday brought a meeting with his agent, who wanted to know if he could announce the new exhibition at the Saatchie Gallery for February. Edward hedged.

On Friday, his nerves were frazzled, and once night had fallen, he went for the Scotch again to gain some sense of calm. Which made him wake around noon on Saturday.

Saturday. The big day.

The day he was going to see Bella again. She had not given him her phone number. He just would have to show up at the National Gallery at the given time.

And he was a stinking, hung-over wreck.

Edward would have called her and cancelled, but he couldn't. And the mere idea of Bella waiting on the stone steps facing Trafalgar Square was something he could not accept.

He showered, brushed his teeth two times, and attempted to get some reason into the mess that was his hair. He stood in front of his closet and tried to figure out what to wear.

He finally decided on black jeans and a black button-down.

Ro had told him, about two years ago, that his clothes were sad, and that he was allowed to wear colours. But it didn't seem like a conscious choice.

"Fuck this," he muttered, pulling off the black pants and replacing them by blue ones.

Much better.

He checked his hair again. His face.

Edward wasn't one to look into a mirror easily. Over the past five years, he hadn't seen anything pleasant when he did.

He tried out a smile, and grimaced. Green eyes, slight wrinkles at the corners. Tousled, reddish-brown hair. A weary expression. A line between his eyes, which had crept in over the years and one morning, had stayed.

A wave of despondence came over him as he stared into his own eyes. He felt empty – he had nothing to give.

But he would not stand up Bella.

There was no way, however shitty he might feel about himself, he'd stand up this beautiful, beautiful girl.


	15. Chapter 15

**oOo**

Bella was nervous as she walked her way from the bus station on Saturday. It was extremely cold for the beginning of November, and she wore a thick winter coat and the gloves that Jackie had given her last Christmas. They were deep red and very warm.

She had been questioning her decision to meet Edward since Thursday night, since her talk with Jasper.

Not that it had been very enlightening. Jasper had merely said, again, that Edward Cullen was not dating material, but he had refused to go into it further, claiming that he didn't know anything for sure. That had irritated Bella no end. If he had nothing to say, why start on it?

After that, they had broken into a fight about Jasper's use of the word 'material,' and then he'd dropped her off at home. They had hugged as usual, and Bella had told him to give her love to Alice.

Even though she'd been annoyed with Jasper, she couldn't get rid of the nagging voice at the back of her head. Jasper was mostly right about things, and she was afraid it might be so now.

Still, she had decided that it would be rude to stand him up. At least that was as much as she would admit to herself. She would not be rude.

It was nothing. Meeting an acquaintance at the museum. Maybe he could teach her about art.

She shivered as she climbed the stairs to the entrance of the National Gallery. Despite the icy cold, the sun was shining. It was a clear, bright day.

Edward's hair was shimmering, sunrays making it red and golden, reminding Bella of the leaves in Regent's Park the other day. He saw her immediately, and gave her a cute, almost shy, wave.

"Hi."

"Hi."

Both were at a loss as how to greet each other. A hug seemed too familiar, a handshake too formal, so they did nothing, grinning at each other for a moment.

He looked better than she remembered him. How had she not noticed his fine bone structure before? Those cheekbones, that nose? Almond-shaped, green eyes, and pale, clear skin. A stubbly jaw and chin. He was beautiful.

"How've you been?"

"Quite well," she said. She crossed her arms against the cold, and he noticed.

"Let's get inside," he said. "It's freezing."

They started their tour at the 18th to early 20th century painters.

They would walk around and look at the paintings, sometimes standing side by side and considering them for minutes, sometimes passing works that didn't seem interesting. Every now and then, Edward commented on something, his voice always low and soft so he would not disturb the other visitors. His words were enlightening, clearly coming from someone who had given the best part of his years to the art of painting.

There were van Goghs, Cezannes, Turners, Constables, and Edward was able to tell her something interesting about each of them, about their methods of work and background.

Bella found herself listening in fascination. Sometimes, he made her laugh, pointing out a detail she would never have noticed on her own, or he surprised her with pieces of knowledge she would never have guessed.

They proceeded to da Vinci, Rembrandt, and Michelangelo.

"So beautiful," Bella whispered as they stood in front of Botticelli's "Venus and Mars."

"And aren't the little baby satyrs cute?" He had a smile almost similar to one of the cheeky characters.

"They are trying to wake him, right?" Bella couldn't help but smile herself.

He was enchanting when he forgot himself, totally in his element. Happy.

"Mmm-hmm. But he's exhausted after making love to his lady. It's a joke, see?" He pointed it out for her. "They have stolen his lance." Green eyes, full of mischief.

"How saucy!" Bella chuckled, pretending to be scandalised.

Their eyes met, and there was that moment. A minute later, Bella was wondering if she'd only imagined it, but she was pretty sure she hadn't.

There'd been a spark.

**oOo**

**A/N:**

**Thank you for your support and your continuing reviews; you make me very happy!**

**If you have read **_**Wake Up and Dream – **_**I just posted a very looong outtake that was written for the Fandom for Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.**

**Have a great weekend everyone, and see you tomorrow with more of Boozeward. Maybe Bella can get him to become more of a Boobward?**


	16. Chapter 16

**Thank you to dellaterra and MDtwiwriter, just in general **

**oOo**

As the afternoon went on, they got more relaxed with each other. They laughed quite a lot, and Bella's heart always seemed to flutter whenever Edward's eyes crinkled in mirth. There were light, little touches, by chance, always easy. His fingers on her arm, her hand on his shoulder. Once, as they were standing side-by-side, their pinkies touched. Instead of pulling their hands back, they let them remain, a tiny connection none of them was ready to acknowledge.

Bella took a bathroom break at one point, and when she was washing her hands and looked in the mirror, she noticed that her normally pale cheeks were rosy. She smiled at herself.

When she returned, Edward was leaning against the doorway of one of the exhibition rooms. She noticed that his shoulders were broad, and then, she noticed that his bum looked very firm. He turned around right at that moment, and a blush crept up her cheeks.

And she was almost sure that he had noticed her checking him out, which made her blush more. She knew how she hated whenever men eyed her like that, like a piece of meat, and to her, it was every bit as sexist if it went the other way round.

But maybe he had not noticed, for his smile was genuine as he approached her.

"Would you like to tackle the Sainsbury Wing?" His smile grew deeper. "Or would you, like me, love to sit down and have a cup of tea?"

"Yes," Bella sighed. "Yes to the tea."

"And maybe a piece of cake," he mused.

"Mmm, I love cake," she murmured as they made their way down the hall.

"You do?" There was a sparkle in his eyes.

She nodded furiously. "Of course! How could you not? Don't you?"

"What kind of cake?" he asked instead.

"Any kind of cake, really."

"You don't look like you're eating cake all day," he remarked.

She shrugged, and didn't reply. She didn't notice how Edward's expression changed, because she was busy looking at the floor as they walked.

"Bella?"

She looked up.

"I'm sorry, did I…" He cleared his throat. "I didn't mean to say anything…" He stopped walking altogether, and raked a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry. I just seem to fuck up with you all the time."

"It's okay," she said. She placed a hand on his forearm. "Really," she said. "It's okay. Let's go and have some cake, okay?"

**oOo**


	17. Chapter 17

**oOo**

They sat down in a quiet corner of the National Café. Edward insisted on ordering the Classic Afternoon Tea.

"A little bit of everything," he said, and suddenly, grinned widely. It was like the sun coming out to greet you. "Wiv a little bit," he sang softly, "wiv a little bit, wiv a little bit of…" He stopped singing. "What is it, actually?"

By now, Bella was giggling helplessly. "Wiv a little bit of blooming luck," she finished the line from _My Fair Lady_ for him.

"You have a nice voice," she said.

"No, I don't." he scratched his ear self-consciously. "I only ever sing in the shower."

"You know so much about art," she said, changing the subject. "Where did you study?"

"Saint Martins," he said, and she could tell he that he felt far more confident talking about his art. "I also spent a year in Paris. Quite the cliché, aren't I?"

"Did you study there?"

"Yeah, but… Mon francais est horrible."

"Mais non, ca sonne très bien."

"Oh, my God, don't tell me you speak French!" He dropped his forehead on polished wood of the table.

"I study Linguistics, remember? I love languages! I speak French, German and a bit Italian and Spanish. Oh, and some Dutch. Have you been there?"

"Germany? Italy? Spain? Or the Netherlands?" He was teasing her. He was so much more relaxed now, and utterly enchanting.

"All of them?" She made a funny face in return.

"France, yes. Germany, yes. Italy, yes. Spain, yes. The Netherlands, no."

"Quite the traveller, I see."

Their etagère with scones and sandwiches arrived, and both thanked the waitress. She seemed to recognize Edward, her eyes lingering for a moment too long, but he gave her a polite smile, and she left.

"Mostly for work. I did an exhibition at the Martin-Gropius-Bau in Berlin last year."

"I've been to Berlin," Bella replied. "How did you like it?"

"Quite exciting, actually. It a very thriving place for young artists. I have a few friends there, who showed me around. It had been some time since my last stay."

"My ex-boyfriend was from Berlin," Bella said, not thinking. Somehow, mentioning her ex seemed wrong. She normally had no problem talking about him. They'd met in college, and he'd just been finishing his PhD in International Relations at the University of Westminster when they had decided to part after sixteen months together. It had been on very friendly terms and was almost two years ago. He had returned to Berlin last year, and they sent each other emails about once a month.

She swallowed, and crumbs seemed to stick in her throat, so she took a large gulp of tea.

Edward's expression was undecipherable. He took a thoughtful sip of tea, as well.

"And you visited him there?" he asked, his voice sounding too light.

"Um, yes. We spent Easter there. But, well, it's some time ago. We separated like two years ago."

"Oh. Okay."

"And Italy?" she asked.

"Italy? Oh, yes. Florence. I love Florence."

"I've never been there. My parents took my sister and me to the region of Liguria on holiday, but that's about all."

"You have a sister?" He smiled.

"Yes. She's three years younger than I am."

"Which would make her…" His fingertip rounded the rim of his cup.

"Are you trying to find out my age, Mr. Cullen?"

"Maybe." His smile was lop-sided.

"I'm twenty-four. You?"

She forced herself to look him straight in the eye.

Edward frowned unhappily.

"Really? Must I?"

"Yes, you must."

"I don't want to."

"I can Google you."

"Blech. I'm…"

He leaned across the table, gesturing for her to come near.

"I'm forty," he whispered.

"No!" she whispered back. She had already figured him somewhere between thirty-seven and forty-two.

His eyes were filled with uncertainty once again.

"Old, huh?"

"Nah." She smiled and crinkled her nose as she shook her head. "I've always liked older men."

And then, she blushed from the roots of her hair to the tips of her toes.

**oOo**


	18. Chapter 18

**Thank you so much for your great reviews!**

**oOo**

Okay, she had so far managed to bring her ex into the conversation, and she had just basically admitted that she liked Edward.

As in, "_I've always liked older men."_

Bella's face still was as red as a tomato as she studied her nails, deciding they could do with a makeover later today.

"You do, huh?"

She could hear the smile in his voice. Why did he always pretend to be shy and sweet, when, in reality, he clearly was the devil?

She bit into a cucumber sandwich and tried to will her blood to leave her face again.

When she dared look up again, her eyes met Edward's, who was wearing a thoughtful, guarded expression.

He smiled when she looked up.

"Can I take that as a compliment? I mean, you said _older,_ not _old_, right?"

And her cheeks flushed again.

"I… I didn't mean…"

"It's okay, Bella."

He reached out and touched the tip of her pinkie finger with his.

"Do you like the sandwiches?"

She nodded.

"My mum loves to make them for Sunday afternoons," he said. "And she sometimes insists we all come and join her and Dad."

"I go to my parents for lunch on Sundays," Bella replied, slowly emerging from her mortification.

"Another thing we have in common, it seems," he said gently.

"Are you going tomorrow?"

"Yes. My sister already called me two times to remind me."

"Are you prone to skipping?"

He shrugged, but didn't reply. His fingers were drumming the table for a moment. It reminded her of their last meeting on Monday, when he'd done the same, standing behind her in the queue.

"Do you want to head back and see more paintings?" he asked abruptly.

"I don't know. It's been a lot of input. Maybe we could continue this some other time?"

"I would love that." His voice was slightly hoarse.

"I really enjoyed myself today," she said.

"So did I." He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down.

Bella wondered what he would be doing tonight. Meet friends? Paint?

She wasn't going to ask though. She'd already made enough of a fool of herself.

.

Edward insisted on paying for their tea, and he helped her into her coat as they collected them at the cloakroom. It was almost dark when they stepped out into the cold. Without the warmth of the sun, the air was biting. Bella shivered.

"How are you getting home?" Edward asked.

"The b-bus."

"Where d'you live?"

"Fulham."

"Bella, that's…" He shook his head.

Bella shivered again. She hated that she always felt the cold so easily. It came with a weight of one-hundred-and-two pounds.

Suddenly, Edward wrapped his arm around her shoulder and led her down the broad staircase. Once they were at the bottom, he held out his hand, and only a few seconds later, a black taxicab stopped at the curb. Edward opened the door for her and hurried around to the other side.

"Hi, going to Fulham," he informed the driver as he closed the door behind him. "And could you please turn up the heat?"

**oOo**


	19. Chapter 19

**oOo**

Edward had no idea what had inspired him to hail the cab and get Bella inside.

Well, actually, he did. She'd been trembling with cold in front of him as she tried to tell him through chattering teeth that she was planning to take the bus to Fulham.

Fulham! That was about at least forty-five minutes, and it was not like the bus would transport her to her front door. She would certainly have to change and wait in the icy cold.

There was no way he'd let her.

She was staring at him, huge dark eyes enquiring his intentions.

"Um, thanks, but that wasn't necessary."

"I would have taken a cab anyway," he said. "I'll just drop you off, okay?"

"Where do you live?" she asked suspiciously.

"Maida Vale," he mumbled.

"Okay, we're driving to the southwest of London right now," she contorted, "while you live in the northwest. Right?"

"So? We both live in West London."

She just shook her head, but he could see her relax minimally as the temperature in the car rose. He removed his thick muffler.

"I'll give you the money the next time I see you, you know," she said into the dark.

"You don't need to."

"But I will." Her voice was clear and strong.

"Okay," he merely said, understanding that it was important to her.

They were silent for some time, the only sounds coming from the radio. Frank Sinatra was crooning about Chicago.

Edward closed his eyes for a few seconds. Right now, he didn't want to think about Chicago.

"I had a great time with you, Bella." He swallowed. "May… May I give you a call?"

She looked up, lost in her own thoughts. Large, dark eyes looked into his.

"Yes, I'd like that."

"Good." He smiled.

Right now, his heart felt as if it was bathed in molten chocolate and brandy, and warmth.

Bella smiled too.

They smiled at each other, and Edward wanted nothing more than to pull her close, just feel her, her small body, to smell her. There were longings he hadn't experienced in five years.

But he knew that he shouldn't, and that he couldn't

"Where d'you want me to turn in?" the cabbie asked, and Bella sat up.

"Um, if you turn in left after the park, we'll be there."

"I'd love to give you a call," Edward said. "But I actually need your number."

"Oh." She smiled and bit her lip. "Of course." She began to recite her number and he programmed it into his phone. He called her immediately, so she'd have his number as well.

"Oh, I'm sorry, my phone…"

She started searching her bag and retrieved a small, pink phone before Edward could say anything. He closed the call.

Some part of him was celebrating the fact that he had her number now. How easy it might be to snap her picture. To have her pale, heart-shaped face show up whenever – _if _– she called him.

"Oh, that was you, right?"

"Yep."

"Okay, now we have each other's number." She looked uncertain again.

"We do. May I really give you a call?"

And she smiled, and nodded.

"Yes. Yes, of course."

The car stopped.

"This is me," she said. "Thank you so much for – "

"Thank _you_," he said. He got out and opened her door for her. Bella looked surprised, clearly not accustomed to such chivalry.

"Thank you, Edward," she said softly.

"It was all my pleasure," he replied.

And then, he surprised himself completely. He kissed her cheek.

It was chaste and sweet, and his heart broke out into a gallop.

**oOo**


	20. Chapter 20

**oOo**

As Bella watched the cab drive away, she could still feel his lips on her cheek. Warm, soft, and a slight tickle of stubble. Even though she was out in the cold again, it seemed to warm her from inside.

Could it be that he had felt it too, this sparkle?

She found him difficult to read.

He was quite a bit older, and he lived in a world very different from hers. Almost always, there was an air of sadness about him. He seemed lonely, and that was a condition she could somehow relate to. She was a bit of a solitary person as well, always with her nose in some book, reading, writing, thinking.

She let herself into her apartment. It was one room, with a window facing the street. Her desk was by the little bay window. Her bed was in the right-hand corner, secluded by a pale blue curtain that Jackie had made. She liked it; it was like her little cave. The other end of the room held a loveseat and coffee table, her TV and bookshelves. There was a kitchenette, and her small bathroom.

Her flat was nothing special, but she liked it, and had been living there for three years.

She hung up her coat and slipped off her shoes.

She was proud of the fact that she could provide for herself. Her parents supported her as much as they could, but they weren't rich, her dad being a social worker, and her mum working part-time as a secretary at St. George's Primary School in Hammersmith.

Bella made herself a cup of tea and settled down in the rocking chair she'd inherited from Grandma Higginbotham when she'd moved into a smaller flat. It was next to her desk and she could look out the window, or work on her laptop. Mostly she sat in it to read, or listen to music.

Today, she just stared into the dark outside, trying to make sense of the raging chaos inside her head. And in her heart.

Bella considered herself a fairly average girl. Her childhood had been happy, she loved her family. There had been problems during puberty, but with time and therapy, she'd grown out of them. Mostly. Eating would always be a laden subject for her, but she was very self-aware, and had been okay for more than five years.

She'd had two serious boyfriends in her life. Before Stefan, there had been Alec, a sweet, understanding boy. They had been together for a year. He was her first kiss, first time, first heartbreak.

Bella sighed and pulled her legs under her body, snuggling into her fuzzy old blanket.

She felt the need to talk to someone, but wasn't sure who fitted her requirements.

Mum? No. Way too chatty, and too much good advice.

Daddy? Hmm, he'd just get worried.

Jackie? Okay, next.

Leah? Normally a good idea, but Leah would probably only tell her to not get herself into something difficult.

Jasper? Nope.

Bella opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling. The lights from a passing car reflected on it.

Alice?

She grabbed her phone.

**oOo**

**Thank you guys so much for your reviews! Each one puts a smile on my face!**


	21. Chapter 21

**oOo**

"Oh, hi Bella! How good to hear you!" Alice's voice was chirpy and joyful.

How did she manage to always seem so happy?

"Hello Alice. Is this a bad time to call?"

"No! Actually, I have the evening off! Jasper's at the Phoenix Cinema, but it's just a small champagne reception. I'm taking a footbath right now, and having a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon!" She giggled happily.

"Wow, that sounds good. Maybe I should do the same."

"Absolutely! What else would a girl do on a cold night such as this, all alone, without a man to get cuddly with?"

Bella scrunched up her nose.

"So, what are you up to, Bella? Going out later tonight?"

"No. I just got home from the museum."

"Which one?"

In the background, Bella could hear some scraping sounds that made her wonder what Alice was doing.

"Sorry," she explained without Bella having to ask. "Just cleaning the cat litter! Those little bastards," she grumbled under her breath.

"What did they do?"

"Ugh, you don't want to know! Elmo pooped outside the box, and Beeker is in hiding again after he managed to throw half the litter _out_ of the box. Ugh!"

"Oh dear," Bella laughed. "I'm so happy right now that dogs do their business outside!"

"But you need to pick it up! That's disgusting!"

"Okay, you win." Bella took a sip of tea, waiting for Alice's next outburst.

"Which museum?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Which museum did you visit, Bella?"

"The National Gallery. And I went with Edward."

Her toes were cringing. She bit her lip.

There was a long silence.

"Edward, as in Edward Cullen?" Alice said at last.

"Yes?"

"That's good, Bella. That's so good. He freaking needs someone like you."

"I'm sorry?"

"He needs someone like you," she repeated.

"What does that mean?"

"I think he's had some bad times, and you've such a sunny personality."

"Well, that's hardly how I'd describe myself, but thank you," Bella muttered.

"Did you have fun?"

"I don't understand you guys," Bella said instead of answering Alice's question. "On the one hand, Jasper tells me to _not_ go out with Edward because he's difficult or whatever, on the other hand, you say it's great that we met. Why are you being so mysterious about him, anyway? What's the big secret?"

"I don't know. Why? What did Jasper say? All I know is that he was a drunk asshole to you the day his dog died, and that later that night, he went all cuddly on you."

Bella groaned at the memory.

"Jasper wouldn't tell me anything. Just said he'd heard some things from Emmett McCarty." She sighed in frustration.

"Are you meeting him again?"

"I don't know." She was silent for a moment. A man with a dog passed by two storeys below, and she thought of Edward and his grievance about his dog. She hadn't asked him about his name. She'd remember next time.

"Bella?"

"Sorry. Yes. I mean, I hope so. I gave him my number."

"And was there some vibe, anything that felt romantic?"

"He kissed my cheek."

"Oooooh," Alice squealed. "You like him, don't you?"

"Yes," Bella whispered. "I do."

"Then don't listen to what anybody else says, Bella. Meet him again. Get to know each other. Find out if there really are any skeletons in his cupboard. And then decide for yourself."

"You're right," Bella said. "Thank you, Alice."

"Hey, what do you say to a girls night next weekend? You and me, Leah, and maybe Victor?"

She was referring to one of the waiters who frequently worked for Whitlock's Brand.

"Victor's a bitch," Bella retorted. "The last time I saw him, he hugged me and told me I looked so, so exhausted."

"But he's funny."

"Okay, okay. But ask Angela too. She'll balance him out."

"I suggest you guys come over and we have a few drinks and then go to a bar or something."

"That sounds great, Alice."

"Make sure you have something interesting to tell us until then about your _love life_," Alice giggled.

"I don't work well under pressure, you know."

A few minutes later, they said goodbye, and Bella took a long, hot shower, which warmed her from the outside. Her insides were still warmed by the afternoon that lay behind her.

**oOo**


	22. Chapter 22

_o_

"_You have to let me go," she giggles. "I'll be late, and they will send me back all the way from Brighton, and there'll be no exhibition whatsoever. And then you're going to cry again!"_

"_Psht," he laughs, kissing the side of her neck. "I'm a man. I don't cry."_

"_Aww," she teases, turning around in his arms and kissing his nose. "Please do, so I can kiss it away."_

_Their eyes meet. Hers are the clearest of blues. She's all sunshine and mirth today. Edward pulls her close and buries his face in her blonde curls. She smells like grapefruit and sugar._

"_I love you," he murmurs. "Hurry back, okay? I want to celebrate with you."_

_o_

Edward sat up in his bed. He was bathed in sweat. The room was dark.

Yeah, it had been a good idea on paper.

After his outing with Bella, he had practically flown home. And he had decided to become a better man. For her.

If he ever wanted to have the slightest chance with her – whatever that meant – he needed to be a better man.

So he had not had one drop of alcohol all night. And now he was sitting in the dark, having a panic attack at one-thirty.

If only Milo was there. He'd always been a source of comfort to Edward.

He got out of bed and walked to the bathroom, splashing his face with cold water.

Maybe he should read a book to go back to sleep. A really boring book.

Edward walked back to his bedroom. He switched on the lights, blinked, and switched them back off.

He stood in the dark.

He thought of Bella.

Of her light. Her lightness.

Some part of his old self reappeared when he was with her. He smiled, and laughed. He'd even teased her at the museum!

She was sweet and intelligent, and incredibly beautiful.

He wanted to hold her, so badly.

She was much too thin. She had been shivering in the cold when they were outside, and his first instinct had been to get her warm.

Irina had sometimes called him a mother hen. He couldn't help it. He blamed his mum for it. He had that protective instinct.

In earlier years, he used to wonder if he'd been planned to be a girl. Not in the way that he was into guys. Just the fact that he sometimes seemed to be too sensitive.

Irina had never allowed him to fuss about her too much, and Bella seemed to be the same in that respect. But maybe, she'd allow him to take care of her? A little bit?

Edward let out a deep sigh. He considered getting up again and having a drink or four.

No, he wouldn't. He thought of Bella again.

He wanted to know everything about her.

Her dreams, her fears, her pleasures.

Edward returned to his too large bed and wrapped the cold sheets around his cold body.

He fell asleep immediately.

**oOo**


	23. Chapter 23

**oOo**

"You're looking very well, darling."

His mum hugged him tight, and Edward kissed her cheek. She smelled like always, like Chanel and hot scones, a beautiful mixture of elegance and warmth.

Esme Elizabeth Platt had been a famous opera singer ever since she gave her debut as Mimi in _La Bohème _at the Royal Opera House in 1966. Carlisle Cullen, London's up-and-coming newcomer, conducted the production. They married a year later, and nine months after that, Rosalie Cullen was born.

Esme took leaves of absence from the world of opera when her children were born, but she and Carlisle continued to work together whenever they could. _La Traviata_ at the Met, _Lucia di Lamermoor_ and _Madame Butterfly_ at The Royal Opera House.

Her last grand appearance had been seven years ago, singing Tosca.

She had been complaining before that, saying that her voice just wasn't the same anymore. Two months after the gala, Esme had officially retired.

"Mum," Edward panted, "you're crushing me!"

She hugged him even harder and kissed his cheek with a loud smack.

"So there, my boysie."

Edward couldn't help but smile. He'd be her "boysie" in his eighties if she got to live that long. Not that it was probable.

"What've you been up to?" Esme pulled him into the kitchen with her.

"Painting," he shrugged. "I went to the National Gallery yesterday."

"Any interesting exhibitions?" She handed him a cup of tea.

"We just looked at the regular stuff. The classics."

He leant against the counter and watched as she prepared finger sandwiches.

"We?" Esme looked up.

Edward couldn't help the smile that lifted one corner of his mouth.

"Yes. I went with…" He cleared his throat. "With this girl. Bella."

Esme looked equally surprised and excited, and Edward rubbed his temple.

"It's not like that," he added before his mother could say anything. "We're friends… I think."

"Where did you meet her?"

"Ro's party, and then again, at Boots. We went for a walk and then met again yesterday."

Esme nodded slowly. She knew that pressuring Edward into telling her more than he wanted to would not get her anywhere. She turned back to her sandwiches.

"She studies Linguistics," Edward said. If Esme was concerned that her son's acquaintance had to be substantially younger than him, she didn't show it.

"But don't tell Ro, okay?"

"Okay." Esme patted his cheek. "Would you be a darling and get me the large platter from the upper cabinet?"

.

Tea with the family was the same as always. They chatted about books and art and operas and movies. Ro's daughter from her first marriage, Vera, had come down from Oxford. She had moved there for the autumn term, studying Journalism like her mother had done. She was nineteen and the spitting image of Rosalie, blonde, tall and very pretty.

She was the only grandchild, so Esme and Carlisle spoiled her senseless.

Edward knew that his mum had been hoping there might be more grandkids, and there probably would have been, had life gone differently.

As it was, he adored his niece, and the affection was mutual.

"When are you and I doing something together again?" he asked when they had finished tea and everyone was puttering around. He threw his arm around her shoulder. "Your old uncle misses you!"

"Aw…" She kissed his cheek. "You're so cute! I'm up to my ears in work until Christmas."

"Work, or boys?"

"Hmm, a little bit of both," she admitted. "I took a waiting job at a café on campus, you know."

Edward had this odd flash of Bella. She was only a few years older than Vera, his niece. His sister's daughter. For a second, he felt creepy.

He tried to push those thoughts away.

"Okay, but promise me we'll go for our traditional walk on Christmas Eve?"

"Of course!" Vera smiled brilliantly, and hugged him.

Edward sighed silently.

What the hell was going on with him?

**oOo**


	24. Chapter 24

**oOo**

"No, Daddy!" Bella giggled. "You're cheating again!"

Every Sunday, she and Charles played a game of Rummy, and every Sunday, he tried to cheat, the grin behind his moustache giving him away.

"Oh, Daddy!" Jackie called from her spot on the sofa, where she was busily typing into her phone. "This is just childish!"

Pookie placed his damp nose on Bella's knee. He was an elderly Golden Retriever, friendly and cuddly.

"I'm an upstanding member of society," Charles said. "Leave me this one innocent pleasure!"

Bella just shook her head, and placed her last card on the table. As always, she won.

Charles made a big show of grumbling and muttering.

They had dessert, which the family took turns making. It was Jackie's week, which meant some kind of trifle with crumbled cookies, greenish jelly, large amounts of cream, and Smarties on top. It looked, and tasted, like a five-year old had made it, but the Swans smiled and ate up. Bella tried to weave her way around most of the cream.

So far, she had managed not to think of Edward_ all_ the time. There had actually been periods of almost ten minutes when she had been concentrating on something else.

She was wondering when he would call. _If _he would call.

She thought of his hair, and how it was the colour of cinnamon. Of his green eyes, with slight wrinkles at the corners, with long, dark lashes. His lips…

"Bell-aaa!"

Jackie was waving her hand in front of her sister's face.

"Sorry, what?"

"You're awfully scatterbrained today," Renee remarked. "Everything okay?"

"Yes, of course. I didn't sleep too well last night. I think I'm going to go home."

She had slept three hours in all, lying awake and musing about Edward into the small hours.

"You're not coming down with a cold, are you?"

"No, Mum. I'm okay. Just tired. And next week will be busy." She got up to collect her things.

"Bella, do you still want this sweater for Christmas?" Jackie asked, following her into the hall. "Because I'm working at the shop tomorrow, and you know I get twenty per-cent off…"

At twenty-one, Jackie was still like a little puppy. After finishing school, she'd been to Paris as an au pair, but had returned after two months. She sang in a band, and was trying her hand at designing fashion, knitting and sewing like a maniac. Most of the time though, she hung out with her friends, and her new boyfriend Paul.

She also worked at a strange little fashion shop in Notting Hill.

Charles and Renee were not too happy about it.

"The blue one?"

"Yep."

"I liked it."

"Okay!" Jackie placed a smacking kiss on her cheek and bounced off.

Bella hugged her parents goodbye. Renee handed her a container with Jackie's unspeakable dessert. Charles held her for a moment longer than usual, as if he could tell that her mind and heart were in turmoil.

"You can call whenever, you know that, don't you, little pumpkin?"

"Yes, Daddy. Thanks. I will. I love you."

.

She was a bit downtrodden on her way home. A guy was in the tube with her, sitting a few seats away. He had taken off his shoes and was reading a book. Aloud. And it was upside down. Bella tried to decipher what it was, and once she had figured it was _The Catcher in the Rye_, shewas glad when she could step off the train.

It was after seven when she reached her flat. Despite doing nothing all day, she was tired.

There had been no calls, and no messages, all day.

Bella plopped down on the loveseat and switched on he telly.

Colin Firth was emerging from the lake in his wet shirt on BBC 2.

Bella relaxed.

**oOo**


	25. Chapter 25

**oOo**

By Friday, Bella had lost all hope that Edward was going to call.

He hadn't even bothered to send a message. He'd probably just realized how different they were. He was wealthy, successful, in his prime. She was a student, waiting tables to make money, no one special.

She tried not to let it get her down. It was probably better that way. He was too old for her, anyway.

And he had issues, at least according to Jasper, according to Emmett.

So she buried herself in work, both for school and for Whitlock's Brand.

Tonight, they were catering a small event at a private bank in the City. It was just Alice and Bella, who served champagne and finger food to twelve people celebrating some business merger. Alice stayed in the back, preparing shrimp and caviar nibbles and refilling glasses. They were finished just before nine, the guests having gone on to dinner at the Savoy.

"Let's go to The Pub," Alice said, referring to their regular place, which was actually called The Pub. "Just for a drink or two, and some pub grub."

Bella agreed, and half an hour later, they were sitting down with pints of cider and a plate of wings and beer battered mushrooms. Bella didn't eat a lot, but she enjoyed it.

They chatted easily, about the upcoming Christmas season, about movies and what they wanted to do the following night. At one point, Alice asked Bella whether she's heard from Edward.

"Not one word. I think I'd better forget about him. If he can't even be bothered to call or send me a message…"

"Maybe he's travelling?" Alice took a huge bite from her chicken wing, her lips glistening with grease.

"He never mentioned it. He said he didn't have anything lined up until February."

"Maybe he's been ill. A lot of people have a cold this time of the year."

Bella cocked her head and looked into Alice's large blue eyes.

"Maybe his phone broke?" Alice suggested, nibbling on her wing.

"Maybe he's just not into me?" Bella retorted. "I may not have a lot of relationship experience, but I know this: if a man wants to call you, he will."

"Surely there have to be exceptions?"

"I guess. But I don't think they apply to this case." Bella sighed, peeling the batter off a mushroom before she popped it into her mouth. Chewing, she shook her head. "And that is that," she finished. "Can we change the subject now? What are you getting Jasper for Christmas?"

.

Shortly before midnight, Bella locked the door behind herself.

She felt grubby from the smells of the pub and decided to take a shower. She sighed with relief as she stepped under the hot spray, using her favourite, rose-scented body wash and massage sponge, scrubbing until her skin was pink.

She thought about the upcoming evening, and realized that she was looking forward to her night out with the girls. Maybe it was what she needed. Girl power and all that. Or rather girl and gay power, considering Victor would join them. As long as they could bitch about men, it was okay with her.

On that note, she stepped out of the shower and dried herself with a ginormous, pink towel. A matching one went around her wet hair. She slipped into her fluffy Donald Duck pyjamas and applied moisturizer to her face before she left the bathroom. She turned on some music, soft and jazzy piano tunes floating through the air.

Bella lay down on her bed and closed her eyes.

She was more relaxed than she'd been in a long time. She knew it was best to forget about Edward before she got herself into something difficult, most probably setting herself up to get hurt.

Her breathing became even and deep, and she was just drowsing off when the piercing ring of the doorbell made her sit up in bed.

**oOo**

**Thank you for your continuing reviews; you make this journey a very special experience! You know who you are, lovely reviewers **

**Hugs and kisses,**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	26. Chapter 26

**oOo**

What the hell?

Bella was sleepy as she checked her alarm.

It was five to one.

Probably some drunk youth, having pressed the wrong button. Connor from upstairs always had wild parties whenever his parents were gone. She lay back down.

It rang again.

And again.

Worried that the neighbours would ultimately wake from the incessant beeping, Bella got up and used the intercom.

"Who's this?"

"Bellaa?" a garbled voice asked.

"Who is speaking?"

"'sme. Edward. Can I please come up? Like really please?"

He sounded terrible.

She pressed the button to let him in.

It took him ages to take the two flights of stairs. When he finally stood in front of her, he didn't look as awful as she had feared. His hair was dishevelled, but that seemed to be its permanent state. His open coat revealed that he was wearing a suit, and it was slightly crinkled. His tie was loose.

"Hi," he said.

He looked tired, dark circles under his eyes, the lines on his face a little deeper than before. His stubbly chin and cheeks told her that he hadn't shaved in a few days.

"Hi," Bella replied. "What brings you here? It's after midnight, you know."

She was not going to make this easy on him. He hadn't even bothered to call, and now he showed up drunk at her house?

"Can I come in?" His voice was thick.

Bella stepped aside and gestured for him to enter.

He looked around, blinking.

"Why don't you take off your coat and have a seat?"

"Um, yeah," he mumbled.

She took his coat and placed it over her desk chair. It looked out of place, this two-thousand-pound thing in her tiny flat.

Edward plopped down on the loveseat, which left Bella with only one choice. She sat down in the rocking chair, which put a few feet between them.

Edward rubbed his eyes, then forked his fingers through his hair.

"I'm sorry," he said after a couple of minutes, and fell silent again, his face in his hands.

"What made you come here?"

"It was the only place I wanted to be. Where you are." He swallowed, repeating, "I'm sorry."

"Where did you spend the night?"

"Do you have a glass of water?"

"Of course." She got up and retrieved a water bottle from the fridge, pouring him a glass and placing the bottle next to him on the coffee table.

"Thank you." Green eyes looking up at her through long lashes.

He took some large gulps, emptying the glass.

"I'm sorry," he said again.

"Okay, stop saying that. Rather tell me what happened. And what I can do to help."

"You're helping. Right now. Just… just letting me be here, with you. It's so warm and lovely here."

Bella frowned. She was proud of her little home, because she managed to pay for it, and because she was able to survive on her own. But from someone like Edward, with his shiny shoes and expensive suit, it sounded odd. Surely, he had a big house of his own, with a fireplace and pretty lamps?

She looked at him; he seemed so forlorn.

**oOo**


	27. Chapter 27

**oOo**

"Are you going to tell me what happened tonight?"

Edward frowned and scratched the back of his neck.

"Mind if I have another glass?" He gestured to the water bottle.

"Of course. Help yourself."

"Thanks." He poured himself another glass and took a long drink. "I met my two sisters-in-law tonight," he said.

Bella stared at him. He was _married_?

_What_?

"We met at The River Café," Edward said, looking at the coffee table.

"You never told me you were married, Edward," she said, her voice flat and expressionless, her insides revolting.

Why oh why had she even let him inside? Jasper had been so right. But why hadn't he just told her?

He was married.

Edward looked up at her, and it seemed that he had to process what she'd just been saying.

"I'm not," he said, so softly she almost didn't hear him. "Tanya and Kate are Irina's sisters. They are visiting from Chicago. They always do, at this time of the year."

He went back to staring, lost in his thoughts.

"Edward?"

"I'm sorry." Rubbing his forehead, he looked up at her. "We had dinner and drinks, and talked. I ordered one whiskey after the other. I know that's not a good excuse," he shook his head. "I know that," he mumbled.

Bella watched him, her heart breaking as she did.

Somehow, she already knew what was to come.

"So you got tipsy," she said.

"Drunk," Edward corrected her.

"Okay, drunk. Tell me what happened."

"We talked. About stuff. You know. What they're doing. Tanya is a barrister, and Kate is this something-something-big at a big firm. I have no idea what she does. Making tons of money. Wearing shiny shoes."

Bella's eyes went to Edward's own shiny shoes.

It took him a second to understand, and then he smiled.

"Yeah, but I'm not like that. To me, they're just too expensive shoes, you know? Not a concept of living." He let out a deep sigh, and placed his face back into his hands. "I'm bad at explaining things," he mumbled.

"No, I think I know what you're saying."

"You do?"

He looked up. His eyes were beautiful, and deep with sorrow and longing.

"What happened at dinner, Edward?"

"Nothing, really." He shrugged. "It was the same as always. We met at a restaurant. Garrett, Kate's husband, came this time. Tanya's boyfriend had to stay back in Chicago for work. We talked about this and that, and agreed on a time for tomorrow. And then I ordered another whiskey." He chuckled uncomfortably.

He became quiet again, staring at his nails. They were very short. Bella imagined that he kept them that way so no paint would get under them.

"And then?"

Edward shook his head, still staring down.

"Edward?"

"It's basically the same, every year," he said, finally looking up into her eyes. "We meet, I get drunk, and we meet again the next day at the cemetery."

"Why do you meet at the cemetery, Edward?" Bella whispered.

She stretched out her hand. After a few seconds, Edward did the same, and their pinkie fingers touched.

"We meet to remember Irina."

A tear dropped on his collar.

"My wife."

**oOo**


	28. Chapter 28

**oOo**

Edward swallowed. He wasn't used anymore to speaking her name out loud.

Irina.

His wife.

His wonderful, beautiful wife.

His dead wife.

Dead for five years.

Tomorrow, the day that would have been her thirty-fifth birthday, he'd go to the cemetery and put flowers on her grave.

Tanya and Kate would be there, and they'd go to a terribly expensive place to have lunch, and Irina's sisters would tell him how sorry Sasha and Vasili were that they couldn't come.

Irina's parents had been there for the funeral, and had never come back, too busy making money, or getting botox injections. They had never agreed with her daughter moving to Europe, becoming an artist, marrying another artist instead of a broker from Chicago.

Edward would drink himself into a stupor and wake the next afternoon with a splitting headache.

His pinkie was still touching Bella's.

He looked up, and she was looking at him with a thoughtful expression.

And then, her pinkie circled his. Just one time, and it might have been an accident, but her expression told him that it wasn't.

"You are visiting her grave?"

"Yes."

Bella got up and closed the distance between them. Their fingers never lost contact. She sat next to Edward.

She was so close, pale and thin and utterly beautiful.

Their pinkie fingers still were touching. Bella dropped her hand on her thigh. Between thighs, they were connected.

"When are you meeting her sisters?"

"Eleven," he whispered.

He looked up again.

Bella was clearly overwhelmed, and helpless with his sorry ass around.

"You don't want to meet them, do you?"

"No."

"But you'd feel bad if you skipped?"

"Yes." It was another whisper. Edward sighed.

"Do you have an alternate scenario? What would YOU like to do?"

"To not go there. Or go there alone. I hate… I hate the feeling of obligation. That I need to feel sad, or to cry, on command."

"What would you like to do?" Bella asked. "Instead?"

"Get drunk," he chuckled.

"Um… I think I have some white wine…"

"Bella." He took her hand. "I was joking." He took a deep breath.

Her hand felt spectacular in his own one. Small and warm and soft.

"I'm already drunk. I don't know. I feel good with you. Better that I've ever done in years. You are…"

He sighed deeply.

He closed his eyes.

Sitting here, next to Bella, in her tiny flat, her hand in his, he felt more relaxed than he had in years.

It felt right.

They were silent for a long time, but it wasn't uncomfortable.

Every now and then, Bella's thumb would stroke his fingers. It was a light touch, warm and comforting.

If only they could be like this forever.

He finally opened his eyes. Bella was sitting with one leg tucked underneath her. She was looking at him. Her eyes were so large, holding so much… compassion?

He didn't want her to feel sorry for him. Everyone always felt sorry for him. Pitying him for what had happened, and for not being able to move on, to live again.

Because he'd stopped living five years ago. He was existing, he was functioning. Eating, and sleeping, and working. His art was the only thing that brought some kind of solace. That, and booze.

He wouldn't allow her to pity him.

Of course he was pitiful. Old, and pitiful, and obviously damaged, where she was beautiful and young and pure.

"Thank you," he said, his voice sounding hoarse and thin.

"You're welcome," she replied, her eyes never leaving his. "If you want, you could come over tomorrow, after…" She bit her lip, and Edward was sure she was going to take it back.

**oOo**

**A/N:**

**Huge big thanks to you lovely reader and reviewers!**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	29. Chapter 29

**oOo**

She bit her lip, almost certain that he was going to refuse.

The fact that he had come to her had to mean something; only she wasn't sure what that something might be. He was incredibly handsome, an internationally renowned artist – surely he had a lot of friends?

"Are you serious?"

He seemed so vulnerable, tired green eyes with a tiny sparkle of hope.

"It was just an idea," she mumbled. "I mean, I just… Forget it."

"I think… " He cleared his throat. "I think I would like that very much, Bella."

She only realized that their hands were still entwined when he gave her fingers a gentle little squeeze.

"You do?"

He nodded.

"It would give me something to… hold on to?" He looked at their hands. "It would also give me an impetus to not drink myself into a stupor at lunch." His eyes met hers again. "Yeah, I would like to come."

"Okay."

"I guess I'd better go home now." He sighed as if the idea didn't appeal to him much.

"You didn't drive, did you?"

"No, of course not. I took a cab." Never letting go of her hand, he pulled his phone from his suit pocket and dialled, calling another taxi. "What number is this?" he whispered in between.

"Seventeen," she replied.

She realized that she didn't want him to go. She had no concrete idea what they'd do if he stayed – not that it would happen – but his presence felt strangely comfortable.

"Okay, thanks." Edward ended the call. "They'll be here in five minutes."

Finally, it was time for their hands to part.

Edward got up and put on his coat.

"I know this sounds wrong," he said, "but I'm actually looking a bit forward to tomorrow now."

"So do I," she replied.

"Thank you again, Bella." He took a step toward her.

For the first time since he'd entered her flat, Bella became aware of the fact that she was just wearing her Donald Duck pyjamas.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" His pinkie finger touched hers.

"Yes," she whispered. "Tomorrow."

The doorbell rang, making them flinch.

"Bye, beautiful Bella," he said softly. And then, he bent down and kissed her cheek.

She watched his cab drive away from her window, staring out into the dark long after he'd gone.

Too many emotions and questions were muddling her heart.

What did Edward want?

What did he need?

Why had he come to her tonight?

She sighed and got up, walking to the bathroom to get a hot water bottle. Once it was warming her feet under the blankets, she sighed again, this time at the glorious comfort of her bed.

**oOo**

**Thank for each and every one of your reviews. I'm sorry if I sometimes don't manage to reply, but I read every single one and I have to have the sweetest and best readers in the world!**

**Hugs and kisses from**

**your**

**harperpitt**


	30. Chapter 30

**oOo**

Bella didn't fall asleep for a long time. She couldn't stop thinking about Edward.

How the skin under his eyes seemed almost translucent; bluish-grey from fatigue. His long fingers, and how wonderful they had felt around hers.

Despite the fact that they had known each other for such a short time, she felt that she could trust him. Jasper had been right about him being difficult, but Bella had been thinking that maybe he was a womanizer. Well, and he seemed to have a drinking problem.

She was pretty sure now that he was not a womanizer. He seemed to be very loyal, meeting with his sisters-in-law to visit his wife's grave.

Were they still his sisters-in-law if his wife was dead?

Bella turned around in the dark.

What kind of person would Edward have been married to?

Had she been an artist, like him?

She probably had been beautiful.

Why had she died?

Could she ask him any of those questions?

It was long after five when Bella accepted that she wouldn't be able to sleep. She got out of bed and brushed her teeth, pulled her fuzzy blanket around her shoulders and settled in her rocking chair with a cup of tea and her MacBook, her most treasured possession.

Her plan was to only look at his homepage, or at Wikipedia.

_Edward Cullen_, she entered.

3.600.000 results.

_Edward Cullen, from Wikipedia, the free enyclopedia_

_Edward Anthony Cullen (b. 20 June 1972, London) is a British artist best known for his naturalistic/realistic paintings, which are influenced by the great romanticists. He also is influenced by the romantic-naturalistic movement, which was born of the Dougen/Hillace group during the 1990s._

Bella sighed.

_In 2003, he received the Turner Prize, and in 2006, the International Painter's Award in New York._

_He had exhibitions at the Art Institute of Chicago, the Centre Pompidou in Paris, the Tate Gallery and the National Gallery in London, the Martin-Gropius-Bau and the Nationalgalerie in Berlin, and the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York._

_He is presented by the Michael Newton Gallery, London._

Bella scanned the following three paragraphs_, Early Life, Career _and_ Criticism, _until she reached the one overwritten _Personal Life._

_Cullen was married to photographer Irina Denali from 1997 until her death on 2 May 2007, when she succumbed to her injuries following a car crash._

_He lives in London._

She groaned and closed her laptop, suddenly feeling creepy. He would answer her questions in time, _if _and when he was ready. She had no right sneaking around spying on him.

On the other hand, it was on a website accessible for everyone.

A car crash. How terrible. It must have hit him without any preparation.

She had never lost anyone dear to her, except Grandpa Higginbotham, but she'd been three at the time. She could only imagine how dreadful it was to experience what Edward had experienced.

She really wanted to help him.

Yes, help him, that was all.

**oOo**


	31. Chapter 31

_o_

"_I'm finished here," she says, her happiness clear even over the phone._

"_How does it look?"_

"_Very good. We'll have to hang four more photographs tomorrow, but the guys wanted to call it a day."_

_Edward sighs. _

"_You mean you have to go back tomorrow?"_

_He looks at the table he's set with flowers and champagne. _

"_Actually, the weather's getting more awful by the minute, and they predicted a storm. I think I'd better stay overnight."_

_He can hear the regret in her voice._

"_Oh, no… I was looking forward to tonight. I already ordered your favourite from The River Café. You don't want to know what I had to promise Federico so he'd have it delivered. You know they don't do that normally."_

"_I don't know… it's really rainy…"_

"_Please? It's our anniversary…"_

_o_

Edward woke with a start. Blinking, he looked at the alarm and was surprised that it was already seven. Still early, but he usually woke in the middle of the night when he dreamed of her.

It had been horrible in the beginning, when he hadn't been able to sleep for more than two uninterrupted hours. Dr. Greene had finally prescribed him some sleeping pills, along with the strong warning to not mix them with alcohol. After a couple of weeks, Edward had decided that the Glenlivet was helping him better than the pills.

Dr. Greene had recommended a therapist, and after his mum and sister had badgered him for weeks, he'd made an appointment with Dr. Young. He had visited Claire, as she'd asked him to call her, once a week for a year, and to some point, it had helped to just talk about Irina. She helped him to get the drinking, which was getting dangerous, under control. Not to a point that he'd not do it, but at least he wasn't trying to kill himself any longer. He still went to see her sometimes when things looked black.

The last time he'd consulted with her, she had asked him whether he'd ever thought about dating again, and he'd almost laughed, because the thought seemed absurd.

Why was he remembering this now?

Edward got up. His first instinct still was to go to the kitchen and grab a can of dog food, but instead he went straight to the bathroom.

He was not looking forward to the morning ahead, but the thought of going to Bella's afterward helped immensely.

He stepped into the shower.

Last night, he had fallen asleep immediately, as if Bella's presence had enwrapped him with some sort of shielding cloak.

She was such a beautiful girl. No, not girl, surely young woman was the right term? She was twenty-four. His mum had been twenty-six when he was born. Edward counted in his head while he took a hot shower. That mean she'd been twenty-two when Ro had made her appearance. And twenty-four when Anna had come, and gone.

His mum had been Bella's age when she'd suffered the greatest tragedy of her life, the birth and death of her second daughter. She'd died from sudden infant death syndrome at ten weeks of age, and Edward had often wondered what had given his parents the strength to continue.

Loosing your child had to be ten times more hellish than loosing your husband or wife. He admired Esme for coping with that. She'd even had the courage have another baby – himself.

They had had many conversations in the past, when Edward had been at his lowest point. How did she manage to go on, he'd asked his mother many times. Her reply had always been the same.

Faith, hope, and love were what it basically came down to.

Faith, that things would get better.

Hope, that there was a sense to what had happened.

Love for her husband, and her daughters. And ultimately, her little son, her treasure.

Edward shook his head as he wrapped himself into a towel.

He knew exactly why he drank. So as to stop the incessant THINKING.

**oOo**

**Dear readers, I hope you're not getting too impatient with these two. It's just a question of time, and I promise not to draw things out indefinitely. There are good times ahead, trust me, I just wrote them **

**Thank you for all your wonderful reviews, you guys are the best!**


	32. Chapter 32

**oOo**

Brompton Cemetery was drab and grey, the air foggy and damp.

Edward placed the pink lilies on Irina's grave. Every time he came to visit her, he found it odd to imagine that her body was in the earth, under the stone. He couldn't help but wonder at which state of deterioration her body would be. Was it just bones? Or was there nothing any longer?

Where was her soul? Was it floating somewhere in the skies?

Or was what she'd left, her thoughts, her love, her photographs – was that all?

In the beginning, he'd imagined her to still be by his side. Sometimes, he'd catch himself talking back to her, or to reach out for her hand. At night, he hugged his pillows and made himself believe that it was her.

She always was with him in a way. She was his angel.

"Okay," he said to Tanya, Kate and Garrett. "I'm ready to go now."

.

Lunch was at Cecil's off Fulham Road. Edward ordered the wild sea bass and a glass of Chardonnay.

Tanya seemed bored, fiddling with her phone, checking emails. Kate tried to keep up the small talk, smiling all the time, while Garrett became the one to relate to for Edward.

They'd first met two years before, and he seemed a nice person, well read and interested in the arts.

Only one more hour, Edward told himself when the fish was placed in front of him.

He ordered another Chardonnay.

And that was it.

He got through lunch without freaking, crying, or getting stinking drunk.

He hugged Kate and Tanya and Garrett, and wished them a good flight back to Chicago.

And then he made his way to Bella.

It was just after two p.m. and Edward decided to walk. After fifteen minutes, he wasn't sure it had been such a good idea. His iPhone was no help at all, but then, Edward had never been good with maps.

He was good with colours, and with… well, just painting. That was all he was good at.

And he WAS good at it. His last painting, _Evolving_, had sold for four-hundred-thousand pounds. Not that he received that sum after taxes and his agent's share. But he was what one would call successful.

Daydreaming, thinking, Edward realized that he had lost his way. Big time.

He finally resorted to asking an elderly lady passing by.

"Of course, dearie. Just take a turn to the left there…" She pointed ahead. "Where they placed that ugly statue, and then walk ahead until you see the sign, Farouf's Couscous. Then directly to your left." She smiled.

"Thank you," Edward said, wishing he'd written it down.

He followed the lady's directions until at some point, there were buildings that seemed somewhat familiar. They were the ones he'd seen from the cab last night. He became excited, and his steps sped up.

He was walking toward Bella.

**oOo**

**Thank you once again, my lovely readers. You make all the work worthwhile.**

**A note to anonymous reviewers: Do you want me to take you seriously if you make seven spelling mistakes in one sentence? Apart from the obvious fact that if you don't like it, why hang around?**


	33. Chapter 33

**oOo**

Bella opened the door with a smile. She looked enchanting, dressed in a huge, striped sweater and jeans. Her hair was in a ponytail, displaying her long, pale neck.

"Hey!" she said.

"Hey." He stepped inside, wondering for a second how to greet her, but she had already made the decision for him, hugging him. She felt spectacular in his arms, and it was over much too soon.

"Do you want to give me your coat?"

"Um, yes, sure. Thanks."

She gestured to her loveseat.

"Have a seat. Would you like something to drink? I have a pot of tea."

"Yes. Thank you." She went to the kitchen, returning with a mug, which she handed him. She sat down next to him.

"Mmm, good," he said after he'd taken a sip.

"How… How was it? You don't have to talk about it, of course."

"It was okay, actually. I didn't feel that sense of obligation at the cemetery. I just, I don't know, did my own thing. Garrett, Kate's husband was there too, did I tell you that?"

Bella nodded. Her dark eyes were gentle and patient.

"He's nice. I mean, Kate and Tanya, they're nice, too. But a bit… superficial. I don't know them that well though. We went to visit her family in Chicago a few times, but she wasn't that close with them. She was closer to my family, toward the end. I'm sorry, is it okay if I talk about that?"

"Of course." She swallowed.

"They never got along, my family and hers. They always felt like I'd stolen her from them, or something. It's not true, she had decided to stay in London even before we met…" Edward sighed. "It was easier today. Because I knew I'd come here afterward."

At that, she smiled.

"What did you do?" he asked.

"Just worked on my paper."

"What's it about?"

"Morphological Formation in the German Language." She shrugged.

"Oh, God."

"Yeah, I know. You have to be a bit crazy to take this road."

"But you like it, don't you?"

"Absolutely. It tends to get very theoretical, mathematical even, but that's okay."

"You must have been really good in school."

"I was."

"I was terrible," Edward admitted with a smile. "I just wanted to paint. That's the only thing I was good at."

"I bet you were good in PE."

Edward realized that, for her, school, unlike for him, was a recent experience. To him, it was ages ago, and he had gladly forgotten most of it.

"I was horrible," he said. "I was always the last guy that was voted into a team. I always envied the girls who could claim they had their period, and sit on the sides."

Bella giggled. She was so pretty.

"Really?"

"Mmm-hmm."

He was not expecting it when she jumped up and grabbed his hand, trying to pull him up with her.

"Come on, we're going for a walk!"

"But, it's… it's _cold_!"

"Yeah, that's why I took out my really thick winter coat from its storage box!" She grabbed it from its hook on the door. It was a black down jacket that looked like one giant moon boot.

"That's… impressive." From his spot on the couch, he watched her put it on, which looked funny because she was still in her fuzzy pink slippers. Edward couldn't help but laugh. She looked like the Michelin man.

"Come _on_!" She grabbed his hand again, and this time, Edward let her pull him up.

**oOo**

**Off to see Breaking Dawn, Part 2 now…**


	34. Chapter 34

**oOo**

Edward watched as Bella frolicked in the small park near her place. She was like a little girl, skipping around, her breath showing in the air, her cheeks getting rosy.

"Here." She opened his hand. "I got you this."

It was a chestnut, polished and perfect.

"Thanks." He looked up from his hand and into her eyes, and they looked like that chestnut in the late-afternoon light. Round and brown and shiny.

She smiled, and Edward realized that, with such a simple gesture, Bella had turned what might have been a potentially horrible afternoon, into something unique, simple and sweet.

"Are you cold?" she asked.

"No." He shook his head.

"Oh, it's so good to be _moving_!" She stretched her arms. "I'm always inside with my nose in a book, or in front of that damn laptop." She bounced up and down. "I guess you're the same, aren't you? Inside and painting?"

"I guess so," he shrugged.

"You know what?" she suddenly asked and smiled. "You," she said and touched his chest, "are it!"

And with that, she took off and ran away.

"Bella, come on! I'm way too old to play tag…"

But after two seconds of resistance, he followed her. Anyone watching would think they were mad, two grown-ups running through the little park, chasing after each other, but if he was honest, it was the best he'd felt in a long time. Bella caught him in the end, having hidden behind a tree, and pounding on him from behind with a squeal. He was so surprised that she tackled him down, managing to fall on top of him and shouting, "Yay!"

She was squatting above him, raising her fist in the air.

Edward let out a breathless laugh.

"You take this very seriously, do you?"

"Of course I do!" She was fighting for breath as well. "What's the point of it if you don't?"

And then, she jumped up, brushing dried leaves off her coat.

"Give me a hand, why don't you?" he said from his place on the ground.

"Aww, poor old man," she chuckled.

Okay, that was _so _not how he wanted to be seen by her. Edward got up and gave his own coat a brush-over.

"Do you want to have a cup of cocoa? There's this cute little place, and they make the best cookies, as well!"

This time, Edward knew better than to comment on her not seeming to eat that many cookies. He just nodded, and followed her lead.

The chestnut, round and smooth, was in his hand inside his coat pocket.

**oOo**


	35. Chapter 35

**oOo**

"That was delicious!"

Edward looked quite content as they left Chocolate Heaven.

He'd been more relaxed than she'd ever seen him before since they'd left her flat earlier in the afternoon.

His laugh was a sweet-sounding giggle that made his eyes crinkle at the sides. He looked so young when he laughed. As if nothing had ever disturbed his world.

Bella smiled, and slipped her arm through his as they walked back to her place.

It was dark by now, and the street lanterns were on.

Bella didn't want to let go of Edward, so she suggested they might rent a movie and cook.

His surprised expression told her that this what not something he had planned.

"I mean, I didn't want to… I don't know. Bad idea. Forget it." She hated it when she was rambling. She studied this stuff, for God's sake!

"No! I mean, I was just… surprised, I guess. I would like that."

"Really?" She stopped walking and looked up at him.

"Really."

And he smiled.

"Okay."

They continued walking.

"What kind of movies do you like?"

Edward laughed softly.

"What?" she said.

"I thought you were going to ask what kind of food I like," he said.

"So, what kind of food do you like?"

"Um, Chinese, I guess."

"You guess?"

"Chinese."

"You don't cook?"

"I do. Sometimes. Okay, I heat things. I also order in. You want to cook?"

"Of course!"

"Okay. Let's go shopping for dinner!"

He smiled.

Twenty minutes later, Bella couldn't get over the feeling that Edward was not into grocery shopping. Whenever she held up a bell pepper, a piece of ginger, or a zucchini, he just nodded his head and said, "okay." Her suspicion grew that he was much more experienced in ordering in than in cooking.

He insisted on paying, and had also slipped a bottle of wine into the cart. He also insisted on carrying the bag as they walked to the video store.

"Okay, you never answered my question. What kind of film are we looking for?"

Bella stood in front of him, palms up. He lightly shook his head. "You never told me what you like, Bella."

"Okay, I like crime stories. You know, when they have to find out the big secret behind it all?"

"Like James Bond?"

Edward's green eyes were sometimes too intense.

"No, not James Bond!" She playfully slapped his arm. "Like, like…" She couldn't think of anything, and slapped his arm again, just because it had felt so nice the first time.

Her phone rang, and she jumped and frowned.

_Alice Brandon-Whitlock calling._

"Oh shit," she muttered.

"Everything okay?"

Edward seemed immediately concerned.

"Yes, it's just my friend. I'm sorry, I have to take that call…"

She went three aisles ahead before she dared speak to Alice.

She felt horrible, admitting to herself that she had completely forgotten about their girls' night.

"Sweetiepie, I just wanted to ask you if you could bring a bottle of Smirnoff, because… Bella?"

"Yes, um… Alice, I'm sorry. I don't think I'll join you tonight."

"_What?"_

"I won't be able to come, I'm sorry."

"_What_?"

"Stop saying that, Alice. I'll explain it to you tomorrow. Okay?"

"No, not okay, Bella. What's going on?"

"I don't know… yet. Just let me do my own thing, _okay_?"

"Okay," Alice grumbled.

Bella closed her phone and went back to Edward.

Who was holding up a DVD.

"_E.T., _Edward? Seriously?"

Edward smiled.

**oOo**

**Thank you for reading! **

**I hope I'll be able to update the next few days. I trapped a nerve in my back and it hurts like hell; also the meds are making me dopey. It really sucks. :(**

**xoxo**

**your harperpitt**


	36. Chapter 36

**oOo**

"Okay, what do you want me to do?" Edward asked.

"You could slice the zucchini?"

"What are we cooking, anyway?"

Bella shrugged.

"I was thinking a vegetable stir-fry?"

"No meat?" His face fell, and he looked like a disappointed boy. He was too sweet when he let his guard down. "Not even chicken?"

"Well, we didn't buy any… And I'm a vegetarian."

"Oh."

He started cutting the zucchini while Bella took care of the bell pepper, ginger, onion, eggplant and carrots.

She wondered whether she should offer to open the bottle of wine.

"You eat very healthily, don't you?" He looked at her from his spot next to her. A strand of hair had fallen into his eyes, and she had to make a conscious effort to not push it out of his face.

It was not a date – _definitely not a date_ – but it felt like one. Awkward and careful, and somewhat tense.

"I guess so." She looked down on her cutting board, fearing that he was headed at her least favourite subject.

True, she had overcome her problems, but there would probably never come a time in her life when eating would be entirely easy.

"Um, do you want me to open the wine?" she diverged.

"Okay."

She poured two glasses.

"Thanks." He rubbed the back of his neck and took a sip. "Mmm, it's good."

"Do you know a lot about wine?"

"More than I know about cooking." He smiled, and it was somewhat self-deprecating. "Do you?"

"Not one bit," she admitted. "But it tastes nice."

"Well, that's what counts, isn't it?"

Thirty minutes later, their dinner was ready and they sat down on pillows on opposing sides of Bella's coffee table – her kitchen was too small to eat there. Edward seemed to be okay with it though, and dug into his food. She had cooked some rice to go with it, and liberally seasoned it with curry, and he nodded when he took his first bite.

"It's delicious, Bella."

"Thank you."

For a few minutes, they ate in silence.

"Are you going to see your family tomorrow?" she asked, remembering he'd told her that it was a Sunday tradition.

He nodded, his mouth full. Bella was finishing her plate, which hadn't been as full as his in the first place.

"Yes," he said when he'd swallowed. "My sister already called twice to remind me." He chuckled, and Bella joined in because he rolled his eyes and made a funny, embarrassed face.

And then, just like that, they fell into easy conversation about nothing in particular, comparing favourite books and films. Edward told her about his travels, and she was quite eager to hear about New York and Chicago and San Francisco.

Edward on the other hand, was curious about her studies, and about the different languages she spoke, asking her to say, "My friend Edward is exhibiting his paintings in this city," in French and Dutch and German.

Her heart was pounding at the _my friend_ part, although she knew it was silly. What else would he call her?

His non-date, who he'd gone to after visiting his wife's grave? With whom he was currently sitting on the floor, for crying out loud, because her flat was so tiny?

"Mein Freund Edward zeigt seine Gemälde in dieser Stadt," she finished the task.

Edward grinned and took another sip of wine.

"And how do I know that you didn't say that I'm an exhibitionist?"

"Trust me."

"Okay, Bella."

He looked at her thoughtfully.

**oOo**

**Thank you for your reviews and well-wishes!**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	37. Chapter 37

**oOo**

"Ready for this experience?" he asked, and Bella smiled, taking the DVD from him and sliding it into the player.

They had cleared the table and were now sitting side by side in her loveseat. Edward was having another glass of wine – hers was still half full – and Bella had dimmed the lights.

"I can't believe you haven't seen _E.T_." He grinned.

She shook her head. She looked so pretty, so young. She had tucked one leg underneath her, facing him instead of the TV.

"You will like it," he promised.

The movie started, and Edward caught himself watching Bella almost as much as the film.

Their pinkie fingers touched at one point, but neither drew them back. Instead, and as if of their own volition, his fingers sneaked closer, lightly passing over her knuckles. He looked at her from the corner of his eye and she appeared to be watching the movie, but Edward saw her swallow, and bite her lip, and it did something indefinable to his insides.

By the time E.T. was trying to call home, his whole hand was covering hers, and a few minutes later, she turned it, allowing him to entwine their fingers. Warmth was tingling all the way up to his elbow.

He looked at her again.

"Bella." His voice was thick.

She didn't reply, but the light squeeze of her fingers was answer enough to tell him that there was _something_. Something sweet, and genuine.

The end titles rolled as well as a tear did down Bella's cheek, and then she did the most surprising thing, lifting Edward's hand to her mouth, kissing it gently. Her eyes were closed as she did it. Her lips were warm, and so, so soft.

Edward gasped.

She opened her eyes and smiled at him, and he could feel it on the back of his hand.

"Thank you," she murmured. "That was lovely."

Their hands dropped to his thigh.

"I thought you might like it," he said.

"Yes, the movie too," she said. "But I meant this whole afternoon and evening. I know it was just the result of your… your morning." She frowned. "I mean… I mean…" She looked so frustrated, and Edward was learning that it was her reaction to not finding the right words.

"I feel the same way," he responded simply. "Thank you for having me. I can only imagine how my day would have ended otherwise…" He cleared his throat. He was sure that she must be repelled by his drinking. It had grown rather out of hand again over the past weeks, and he was absolutely determined to get it back under control.

Wine was okay. Whiskey was not.

"I'm glad if I could help you," she murmured.

"You did."

And with that, he lifted their hands again and kissed hers.

**oOo**


	38. Chapter 38

**oOo**

It was past midnight when Edward and Bella said goodbye at her front door.

After the movie and the ensuing handholding, they had talked for hours, more relaxed with each other than they'd ever been before. Edward had consumed two more glasses of wine, but Bella didn't have the impression that he was drunk.

They laughed quite a lot, too, and for the first time, Bella discovered that, behind his quiet, wistful façade, Edward possessed a wicked sense of humour. He was also well-read and interested in a large variety of things besides painting and the world of art.

"Thank you again, Bella," he said. "Can… can I call you tomorrow?"

She nodded.

"I would like that."

"Okay." His voice was soft. He raked a hand through his hair, a habit that was causing it to be constantly messy, Bella had noticed.

The taxi he had called stopped at the curb.

"Okay," she said.

Edward bent down and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek that made her shudder.

"Get back inside," he whispered against her skin. "You're cold."

She had also learned tonight that Edward had a very protective streak. When she'd told him about a guy who'd made a pass at her at a dinner party where she'd worked some months ago, he'd gone into a rant about sexist assholes.

"Good night, Edward," she said, touching his fingers one more time.

He wouldn't get into the cab before she went back to the house, so she did, smiling to herself as she closed the door.

She was, indeed, cold, and decided to take a bath. She was smiling goofily all through it.

And when she slipped into her bed and set the alarm on her mobile, there was a message from Edward.

_Good night, dear Bella. Thank you again for today. You made a potentially awful day very very very good. I look forward to our phone call tomorrow. Edward._

.

She was fidgety during lunch the next day, which everyone but Pookie seemed to notice. He simply placed his damp nose on her knee and waited for her attention.

Edward had told her a little about his dog, Milo, last night. He was now buried in his sister's backyard. He'd been a rough haired Jack Russell he'd adopted as a puppy in Italy.

Edward was heartbroken about the loss, which Bella could relate to. She loved Pookie. Her family had gotten him when he was thirteen weeks old. Bella had been twelve, and Jackie nine. She found it hard to imagine a life without him. He'd always been there.

"What's going on with you?" Jackie complained when Bella handed her the salt instead of the pepper.

"What? No, nothing."

And then, Jackie's eyes, which were the same dark as Bella's and their dad's became large and round and she squealed, right there at the lunch table: "Oooh, I know! Bella's in lo-ove!"

Bella's cheeks became very hot.

"Nonsense, what makes you even say that?"

All eyes were on her.

"You're all googly-eyed, and you're not listening to anyone, _and_," she added, "you keep smiling to yourself!"

Bella shook her head, muttering, "Nonsense," again.

"Ha! I know!" Jackie pointed at her, a large, victorious grin on her lips. "I bet it's that guy!"

"What guy?" Charles asked.

"There's a guy?" smiled Renee.

"The guy with the dead dog!" Jackie exclaimed, and Bella would have loved to shove her sister's face into the Yorkshire pudding.

**oOo**

**Hey guys! My back is finally better and I posted a very, very short outtake for **_**Wake Up and Dream**_** – it's about the new cats moving in with the Cullens. I was beginning to miss Dadward, sigh…**

**Thank you for your ongoing support and lovely reviews!**

**Hugs and kisses,**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	39. Chapter 39

**oOo**

Edward excused himself from Sunday tea with the family. He knew that they'd think he was hung over, but this time, it wasn't the case.

When he'd returned last night from Bella's, instead of drinking, he had gone up to his studio, and had set up his easel. He had painted until the misty, grey November dawn had made him realize how tired he was. He'd only slept until midday though, had coffee, and returned to his atelier, where he'd taken up his paintbrush again.

It was now after five, almost dark again. He normally preferred daylight for work, which was the main reason he'd bought this house. The studio had overhead windows and was facing south. It also had a floor-to-ceiling window that looked out over the small garden that Milo had loved to frolic in.

He'd had special lights installed that almost resembled daylight, so he could work in the evenings, or on occasions such as this overcast autumn afternoon.

He remembered that he hadn't eaten anything since Bella's curry dish last night. He smiled at the thought of last night.

To imagine that she hadn't seen _E.T_.!

She'd looked so beautiful as she watched the movie, her huge eyes luminous with wonder at the cute little alien.

He fixed himself a sandwich that he ate in the kitchen. He typed out a message for Bella while he did.

"_Hello, sweet Bella. I was just thinking of you, wondering when it would be a good time to call? I hope you're having a nice time with your family. I'm looking forward to hearing your lovely voice again. E."_

Was that too corny?

But it was exactly the way he felt!

He hit _send._

Her reply came twenty minutes later, when he was back to work.

"_I'm home now, looking forward to our chat. B"_

He wiped his paint-covered hands on a towel and grabbed his phone, sitting in the old armchair Irina had given him, years and years ago, for his birthday.

"Hello?"

"Hey. It's me, Edward."

"Hi!" She sounded exactly as he always thought of her: happy, relaxed, self-confident.

"So… what are you up to?"

"Just returned from my parents'."

"Lunch?"

"Roast beef and Yorkshire pudding, and tofu for me." She laughed lightly. "Very traditional, aren't we?"

"I liked your vegetable stir-fry."

"Thanks. Even without meat?"

"Even without meat." He considered his hand, remembering how it had held hers. His nail beds were blue from the paint. He looked up at the picture he had started last night. It needed a lot more work, but he had a feeling it might be something.

"What are you doing, Edward?"

"Working, actually. I started last night."

"After you'd come home?" She sounded surprised.

"Yeah. Sometimes, I have an idea, or inspiration, and it takes root, and I won't find any rest until I do something about it."

"A new painting?"

"Yes."

"What is it?"

"Hmm. That remains to be seen. I'll tell you once I've figured it out."

"Okay," she said softly.

"Do you… do you have a busy week, next week?" he asked, feeling quite clumsy in his choice of words. Bella, with her passion for language, always seemed to be able to say exactly what she meant.

"Yes." She didn't seem too happy. "In addition to school, I took on three shifts for Jasper."

"Catering-Jasper?"

"Yes," she laughed again.

"Are you working on Saturday?"

"No. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. It's a three-day conference at the Barbican."

"And…" he nervously cleared his throat. "Do you have plans for Saturday?"

"No. Why?"

"I thought maybe, we might do something together?"

God, he felt like a teenager!

"I'd like that," Bella simply replied, and Edward's heart did a small, girly dance.

**oOo**

**Hmmm… what do you think about Edward's new painting? Any ideas?**


	40. Chapter 40

**oOo**

"What is your problem with him?"

Bella had both hands on her hips, staring daggers at Jasper.

They'd been working side by side, setting up the coffee bar early on Wednesday. They'd chatted about this and that, and then, Bella had made the monumental mistake of mentioning Edward. She'd just wanted to find out why Jasper had been warning her of him. Now that she was getting to know the real Edward, she didn't understand it.

"It's just that I don't think this… whatever is going on between the two of you is not good for you, Bella."

"Yeah, I get _that_, but why?"

"He's so much older than you, and he has serious issues."

"Okay, tell me what you know about him!"

She continued to place cups and saucers on the bar.

"You know that his wife died, don't you?"

"Yes."

"And do you know how she died?"

Bella didn't want to admit that she and Edward hadn't yet covered that subject.

"Yes. In a car crash."

"And do you know the circumstances of that accident?"

She looked up, dozens of horror scenarios playing through her mind.

Had Edward been the driver?

Oh, God, he'd been the drunk driver!

"Well, what do you know about them?" she replied heatedly.

"Just what Emmett told me." Jasper frowned, suddenly not so sure any more.

"Which is?"

"He's irresponsible." Jasper's blue eyes were fixated at a point behind Bella's back.

"What does this mean?"

"He made her drive despite a storm warning, Emmett said."

"Excuse me, Jasper, but do you possess any first-hand knowledge? Or is it all _Emmett said_?"

Jasper stopped what he was doing and looked at her.

"Bella. What is _your_ problem?"

"You're being quite overbearing, presuming things. I get it that you're trying to protect me, and that's very sweet of you. But I don't think you're seeing Edward as he really is."

"Oh? So what's he really like, Bella?"

"He's just… caring, and… _nice_." She sighed. "Why, do you think, does his brother-in-law have such a bad opinion of him?"

"I don't know." Jasper shrugged, arranging water bottles and glasses. "I mean, I guess he and Rosalie, they know him pretty well. Don't get me wrong, it's not like Emmett ever talks bad about him. He just seems sorry for him, and told me a couple of times that Edward has been through so much. And that he's drinking too much."

Bella just shook her head.

"I'm going to form my own opinion, Jasper. I think he's a very special, very passionate person."

Jasper raised his eyebrows, but didn't say anything. It was time for them to brew coffee and tea, anyway.

.

The day passed slowly. After the conference started, they put plates and cutlery and chafing dishes on the lunch buffet. Alice and Demetri arrived with the van at eleven, delivering the food. The four of them set up salads and pasta and an Italian beef dish. Bella and Jasper were busy collecting plates once lunch had started, and by the time they could eat something themselves, it was after two. A coffee break followed, and when Bella opened the door to her apartment, it was dark.

She plopped down on her loveseat and slipped off her shoes. Her phone beeped from her bag, and she opened it.

"_Dearest Bella, I hope you had a nice day. I was thinking of you earlier, when I was at the greengrocer's. I usually only buy apples and bananas and the odd tomato. Today I got ginger and an aubergine and zucchini and avocados. Now, I don't feel so clever. What do I do with it? Your Edward."_

It was the happiest Bella had felt all day.

**oOo**


	41. Chapter 41

**oOo**

Edward was standing in his kitchen, staring at the three avocados he'd bought. He liked avocado, but had no idea what to do with it. Did you cook it to make guacamole?

After he'd been working all morning, he'd gone grocery shopping around noon, just to get some fresh air. He had also decided that he wouldn't order in so often anymore. It was very unhealthy, after all, and Bella had told him that cooking was simpler than he thought.

Edward was nursing his second glass of wine.

There'd been no Glenlivet all week. A few glasses of wine, though not exactly good, were far better than downing glass after glass of whiskey.

He was staring out of the window and into the dark garden, but all he saw was Bella's lovely, pale face.

And then his phone rang, and he flinched before he darted to the table, stubbing his toe in the process. He usually wore jeans, a T-shirt or flannel shirt, and chucks or no shoes at all when he worked. It had been a no shoes-day, and he cried out "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

He could feel the pain from his small toe in his whole body as he touched the _accept _button.

"Yes?" he hissed.

"Are you okay?" It was the sweetest voice in the world.

"Yes, ow, oww, fuck."

"Edward? What's going on?" Her voice was panicked now.

He took a deep breath and sat down.

"Oh, oh." He inhaled again. "Sorry. I stubbed my toe, and it felt like I had broken my whole foot. Leg. Body." He chuckled, now that the pain had subsided.

"Ouch. I know that one."

"It's okay now, I think."

"What did you_ do_?"

"Jump to get my phone," he admitted sheepishly. "I couldn't wait to hear your voice."

"You're very sweet, Edward."

"Um…"

He felt the huge smile that spread on his lips. _She_ was the sweet one!

"I think that it's actually you who's sweet."

"You do?"

Her voice was low and husky, and it made Edward's heart speed up.

"Yes, I do." He swallowed. "Did you get my message?"

"Yes," she said, and there was amusement in her voice. "Have you done anything yet?"

"No," he said. "No, I didn't dare to. I was hoping that you'd help me."

"Okay," she said. "What do you have?"

Edward rushed back to the counter and took a deep gulp of wine before he responded.

"Zucchini, aubergine, ginger, and three avocados."

"Whoa, three avocados? What were you thinking about doing with them?"

"I don't know. I like avocado."

"I understand that, Edward, but three of them? You might as well eat half a package of butter."

"What? _Why_? That's horrible!"

"Okay, what are we making?"

"I was hoping you'd tell me."

"Do you have rice, or pasta?"

"Wait."

Edward opened the pantry door and looked around.

"Yes," he said excitedly.

"Did you check the expiration date?"

Edward held the pasta box away from his eyes as he peered at it. He was going to need glasses one of these days, and he hated the fact, but he needed to see properly.

"Um… July 20th, 2009?"

"Throw it away, okay?"

"Okay. I have rice!"

"Very good."

"Now… take the ginger, and peel it. Then mince it."

"Mince?"

Edward set down the rice, which was still good for another few months.

"Um, yes, mince. Like when you… Oh, Edward."

"What? _What?"_

"Would you like me to come over and help you?"

Edward sat down on the floor.

"Yes," he whispered.

And with that, admitting he could not do everything on his own, or by himself, Edward felt relief.

**oOo**

**Thank you for your support! I couldn't do it without you!**

**xoxo**

**your **

**harperpitt**


	42. Chapter 42

**oOo**

"Hi," he said, taking in her beauty.

It was as if a dark-haired fairy with huge brown eyes and invisible wings – did fairies have wings, he wondered – had turned up at his front door.

She was wearing jeans and her black Michelin man coat.

Her smile was enchanting.

"Hi."

"Come in."

"Thanks."

"Let me hang up your coat."

He helped her out of it, revealing her in a tight, blue jumper. He had never seen her in anything tight-fitting. It made her look even more fragile than he'd expected, and it made him sure that there was some kind of problem. In contrast to her slight body, her breasts – and Edward swallowed as he diverted his eyes – were surprisingly full.

Oh, God, what was going on with him?

"Do you want a little tour?"

"Yes, sure."

He showed her the living room with the large French doors that led to the garden, and the dining room, and finally the kitchen. His studio and bedroom were upstairs, but he didn't think they should be included on their "tour."

He hadn't touched any of his ingredients, and they were sitting on the counter, waiting for Bella.

"Would you like a glass of wine?"

"Yes, but just a small one."

"It's so lovely of you to come all the way from Fulham. I really shouldn't have let you."

"It's okay," she smiled. "I offered, didn't I?"

He poured her half a glass of Merlot, and Bella took a tiny sip.

"So… I'm going to show you how to cook vegetables?" Her smile grew deeper.

"Um, yes. I can't order in all the time, can I?"

And then, Bella told him how to prepare the things he'd bought, giggling when Edward wanted to add the avocados to the frying pan. He felt pretty stupid, but her laughter was contagious, and he joined her.

Thirty minutes after Bella had arrived, they were sitting down in the kitchen, having dinner. Bella didn't eat a lot, saying that she'd already had lunch at work, but Edward had two platefuls, telling her four times how yummy it was.

"See? You did most of that by yourself!"

"Yes, with you next to me. I couldn't have done it without you."

And it felt okay to admit it.

They talked easily for an hour after dinner. Edward told her a little about Milo, showing Bella some photos and even pointing out the spot in the dark garden where he was buried. Bella told him about the family dog, Pookie, and they laughed about his antics.

"Your house is lovely," Bella said. "How long've you been living here?"

"Just three years. I finally sold the house Irina and I had bought together." He cleared his throat, but surprisingly, it didn't feel awkward to talk about it with Bella.

"I went into therapy after Irina's death, you know. In the beginning, I wasn't ready to let go of anything that was connected to her, but at some point, I realized that it wasn't healthy to stay there, to keep it like a shrine. I didn't even touch her studio, left everything the way it had been…"

He drifted off.

"Sorry, I… I got carried away…"

Bella's huge dark eyes were sad; sadder than he'd ever seen them.

**oOo**


	43. Chapter 43

**oOo**

Bella's heart felt heavy when Edward became silent.

It was obvious how much he was still suffering after his wife's death, and she felt terribly sorry for him. It seemed that she had been the great love of his life.

What did _she_ have to offer?

And why was she even asking those questions?

He had never shown her more than friendliness and common courtesy. To even dream about any sort of relationship, any romantic attachment to him, was ludicrous, megalomaniac.

She looked at him. He seemed lost in thought, one finger circling the rim of his wineglass.

Maybe Jasper was right after all. Edward was bound to make her unhappy if she kept up her friendship with him, because it was clear that friendship was all he was ready to give. And apparently, it was not enough for her.

She glanced at the clock above the kitchen door.

"Gosh," she said, feigning surprise. "It's after ten! I guess I need to get going. My day starts at half past five…"

Edward looked up, his eyes unfocussed for a second, as if he was emerging from another world, deep inside himself.

"Oh. Oh, yes, sure. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kept you up so late." He raked a hand through his hair. "I… I'll call you a cab."

"I'll take the tube to Warwick Avenue, and the bus from there," she said.

"And be trolling the streets for what? An hour?" His tone had changed, and for the fraction of a second, he reminded her of her mum. There was a line between his eyebrows.

"I'll be okay," she said. "I do this every day, Edward."

"I'm calling a cab."

"I can't afford a cab."

"I wouldn't let you pay, anyway. You came out here to help me. It's the least I can do."

She got out of her chair.

"No."

He stood up and took a step toward her. This close, she noticed how much taller and broader he was.

"Yes."

"No. I'm a grown woman. I can manage to go home by myself."

She could feel the heat rise in her cheeks.

"Please, Bella?" His tone had become softer. "Please, let me?"

"Let you what?" she spat.

"Let me help you," he shrugged.

"I don't need your help, Edward."

"I know that. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way." He squeezed his eyes together before he faced her again. "Look, I would drive you myself, but I had a few glasses of wine."

Bella rolled her eyes, as if to say, _tell me something new._

"I'm not going to let you leave here on your own," he stated.

Bella's eyebrows shot up.

"So you're going to keep me here against my will, or what?"

She didn't even know why she was so mad at him. He was only well-meaning and chivalrous.

He just shook his head, looking sad.

"Of _course_ that's not what I meant." He placed his hands on her shoulders, but they didn't feel like a weight. They felt warm, and protective.

"Bella…" His voice was low and gentle, and with one finger, he lifted her chin so she would look at him. "I care about you, Bella, don't you see?"

"We're friends," she shrugged.

Edward's other hand moved from her shoulder to her waist, and he pulled her closer.

"I think we're becoming more than that," he whispered.

And then he bent down and kissed her.

**oOo**

**Dun dun dun…**


	44. Chapter 44

**oOo**

It was the softest touch, sweet and tender, and Bella felt as if she was floating. His lips seemed to melt with hers, and she closed her eyes. Edward pulled her a little closer, and kissed her again. It was chaste and warm and eager, and all too soon, it was over.

"I'm sorry, " he mumbled, still so close that their noses were touching. He was beginning to draw back, but Bella twined her arms around his neck.

"Please don't be."

Green, glowing eyes were staring down into hers.

"No?"

"No."

And with that, he kissed her again, equally pure and fervent, and Bella responded, pulling him closer, her fingers sliding into his hair. They never deepened the kiss, but the sensations it caused in Bella's stomach were of the most exciting kind.

"Bella," he whispered, his hot breath on her lips. "I'm… You…"

"Shh," she murmured. "Everything's okay."

"Okay," he repeated, and they fell silent, their foreheads touching.

They didn't move for a long time, enjoying their closeness, warmth spreading from body to body. She hadn't expected him to feel so broad and muscular. Her arms slid down and met around his waist, while Edward was cradling her body to his as if she was some long-lost treasure.

"Will you let me call you a taxi?" he asked after what felt like a sweet eternity. His voice was hoarse. "Or if you'd like, you could sleep here, in the guestroom…"

"No," she murmured, pulling slightly away. She hated to leave his warmth, but she needed to look at him.

His cheeks were slightly rosy, a cute contrast to his otherwise pale face.

"No to the taxi, or to the guestroom?"

"No to the guestroom. I need to get up so early, and I'm going to need my clothes for work…"

"Okay." It was a sweet breath on her lips. "Then I'll call a cab."

"You will have to lend me the money, because I don't have anything on me. And I'm going to pay you back."

"Okay." He gave her nose a little peck with his lips before he let her go so he could get his phone.

"Just a few minutes," he said when he was finished. He helped her into her coat.

They looked at each other.

"Are you okay?" she asked, stroking her thumb over his cheek.

His face held the answer to her question before he could speak.

"You make everything better, Bella." He swallowed. "Thank you."

"No." She shook her head. "Don't thank me. You make everything better, too."

She was surprised when he kissed her again, just once.

The doorbell rang and he groaned unhappily before he opened it. The cab was waiting at the curb.

"Just one minute," he called out.

Grabbing his wallet, he handed Bella a note.

"Don't you forget to pay me back," he said sternly, but with a twinkle in his eye.

"I will."

"Okay." He pulled her into his arms one more time, and Bella let him place a succession of tiny kisses on her lips.

"I'll call you tomorrow?" he murmured.

"Yes," she sighed. "Tomorrow." Standing on her tiptoes, she gave him one last kiss.

He waved at her when she opened the door of the cab, and she waved back.

"Send me a message when you're home, okay?" he called.

"Okay!" She shut the door and told the driver her address as she fastened her seat belt. Looking back though the rear window, she saw him at his front door, still waving.

**oOo**

**Thank you so, so much for your reviews to the last chapter! You made me seriously happy.**

**Hugs and kisses to all of you!**


	45. Chapter 45

**oOo**

It was another sleepless night for Bella, whose feelings and thoughts were in an even worse turmoil than they had been over the past weeks.

She couldn't pretend any longer that she merely wanted to help Edward to get over his loss, or that friendship was enough for her.

Bella, though young, was a very self-reflective person, and she could clearly see what was happening.

She was falling for Edward – hook, line, and sinker.

The question was: what were his intentions?

She knew so little about him.

He still was mourning his wife on some level, but had he had girlfriends, or lovers, since her death?

She had no interest in being an affair. She'd once had an affair, after the breakup with Stefan. It had lasted six weeks. Bella needed commitment.

She had no idea what she could, or could not, expect from Edward.

All she knew was how incredible it had felt when he'd kissed her, and how natural and warm his arms had felt around her.

.

She turned up tired and cranky at work the next day. The sequence of events was the same as yesterday, and Bella yawned her way through morning coffee and lunch preparations.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Jasper asked at one point.

"Yes, sure. I just didn't get enough sleep last night," she shrugged.

Unfortunately, this was the moment Alice and Demetri showed up with the warm food.

"Not enough sleep, Bella?" Alice's voice was chirpy and happy. "Now, who might be responsible for that?"

Alice was a sweet woman, but sometimes, she was as tactful as a battle tank.

Bella blushed deeply, and all eyes were on her.

"Shut up, Alice," she muttered.

"Bella?" Jasper looked at her with a frown, his grey eyes filled with concern.

"Can we get the food and you discuss Bella's love life afterward?" Demetri asked with irritation.

So that's what they did, and then lunch followed. It was only when Jasper and Bella grabbed a bite for themselves before preparing everything for the afternoon coffee break, that he reopened the subject.

"Is it true, Bella?" He looked so serious. "Is there something going on between you and Edward?"

"No!"

She blushed again.

"I… I like him, but there's nothing going on."

"Bella." Jasper covered her hand with his. "You know I only have your wellbeing in mind, don't you?"

"Of course." She looked up and met his eyes. "And I appreciate it. Don't worry. There's nothing going on. At least, I don't think there is."

Unfortunately, her ancient mobile phone chose that moment to buzz, and since they were having a break, Bella opened the message while Jasper took a bite of chicken curry.

"_Sweet Bella, I hope you are having a wonderful day. Did you see the fog outside? It was massive this morning, like it had been written by Charles Dickens. I keep thinking about last night, which puts my mind into a fog as well, but it's a pleasant fog. I hope you know how special you are to me. Looking forward to our phone call. xx, E"_

Bella's smile had to be absolutely ginormous, which she noticed a little too late, when Jasper groaned and his head hit the table in a display of comic despair.

**oOo**

**Thank you for your reviews! Each and every one means a lot. **

**The fact that you are reading this story, and liking it, means everything to me.**

**Thank you.**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	46. Chapter 46

_o_

"_Of course you'll be happy," she laughs, and tickles his chin._

"_I'm always so broody," he complains. "You said so yourself."_

"_You're not broody, Edward. You just take things to your heart."_

_She smiles, her blonde curls sparkling in the sun until she dissolves into bright light._

_o_

Edward groaned, fumbling for the bedside lamp and downing a glass of water.

Earlier, he had gone to his studio while dialling Bella's number, sitting in his armchair as they talked. And talked. For almost two hours. Time had flown by while they shared childhood memories and favourite films, TV shows and anecdotes about their dogs.

They'd only said goodbye when Bella hadn't been able to suppress her yawns any longer.

"You need to sleep, sweet girl."

"I know." Another yawn.

"I'll call you tomorrow?"

"I hope so."

"Okay. Good. Splendid."

She'd giggled softly, but it merged into another yawn.

"Sleep," he'd said. "Sweet dreams, sweet Bella."

It had taken them another ten minutes to say goodbye, and when he'd ended the call, he had resumed working until after three.

Now, it was six, and he was horribly tired. He switched the light off and buried his face in the pillows, visions of dark eyes and soft lips guiding him back to sleep.

.

He met with his agent Michael later that day. Michael had been pestering him about the new exhibition, and Edward finally felt confident enough to set a date. Michael wanted to know everything about the new series of paintings, but Edward was reticent. He'd know in time, he said, and that had to be enough.

Michael grumbled that Edward was his most difficult client, and that he might be so much more successful if he opened up a bit more, doing a bit more press, attending a few more events.

"Yeah," Edward replied, patting Michael's shoulder. "And that is exactly the reason why you are my agent, Mikey. For leaving me alone."

Edward bought some vegetables on his way home, already looking forward to Bella's advice. He spent the afternoon painting, losing track of time as he flourished in his profession.

His fingers and forearms had splotches of blue and yellow as he took a break around seven, going to the kitchen to fetch a glass of wine and call Bella.

"Hello!"

His heart hiccupped at the sound of her voice.

"Hi, It's me, Edward."

"Yes, I know." She laughed softly, and it was the sweetest sound. "Even my prehistoric phone has caller ID."

"Oh, good to know," he chuckled. "And here I was trying to be polite."

"You're nothing if not polite, Edward," she said, and he had a flashback of last night. She'd felt so fragile and warm in his arms, instilling this crazy urge in him to protect her.

"How was your day?" he asked.

"Meh. Boring."

"Did you work at the Barbican again?"

"Yes. Same procedure as yesterday. Coffee, lunch, coffee."

"And tomorrow?"

Edward sat down at the kitchen table and took a sip of wine.

"The same!" She sounded exasperated, but in a sweet way.

"Oh dear. I hope he pays you well."

"He does. And it's usually fun to work with him and Alice."

"You're friends with them?"

"Yes. I've known Alice for years."

"Do you work the weekend as well?"

He was drumming his fingers on the table.

Was he moving too fast? Too fast for her? For himself?

Was he ready to move on?

After five years?

Edward squeezed his eyes shut for a moment.

Yes, God, yes, he hoped so.

**oOo**

**Thank you for you lovely reviews. Each one makes me smile.**


	47. Chapter 47

**A light little chapter...**

**oOo**

Bella didn't work the following Saturday.

So she had agreed to meet Edward for dinner and a movie.

She was standing in front of her wardrobe with Leah and Jackie by her side, trying to decide what to wear. She was as nervous as a cat.

After all their non-dates and chance meetings, this most definitely felt like a date. And it scared her shitless.

Was she ready for that?

Was _he_ ready for that?

"Drink this."

Leah handed her a glass of Chardonnay.

"I'm not going to turn up there drunk!"

"You're not getting drunk. You're having a little sip to relax," Leah said.

"Oh, maybe we can go on a double date next weekend," Jackie exclaimed. "You and Edward, and Paul and me!"

Bella rolled her eyes and took a sip.

"Oh! Or a triple date!" Jackie clapped her hands. "Leah and Sam should come, too!"

"Are we really related?" Bella shook her head at her over-enthusiastic sister.

Jackie stuck out her tongue.

"Where's he taking you?" Leah asked, holding a short dress made of midnight blue velvet in front of Bella.

"He wouldn't tell me. He's collecting me at six." Bella took another sip.

"This," Leah said.

"Yay!" Jackie threw herself on Bella loveseat. "Show him those lovely legs!"

Bella groaned, but Leah grinned.

"She's right. Put it on!"

Both girls were nodding enthusiastically when Bella had slipped into the dress. It had long sleeves and a low neckline, and it did, indeed, show off her legs. She didn't own a lot of nice dresses, but this, she'd bought some years ago during her stay in Berlin with Stefan. It was one of her favourites.

"Okay," she agreed, and Leah and Jackie cheered. Jackie had meanwhile poured them some wine as well.

While Bella did her hair in the bathroom, she could hear them giggle and chatter, and for a moment, she paused and smiled, considering what a lucky girl she was for having them. Then, she pulled her hair into a ponytail, applied powder, mascara and a little rouge.

Jackie was snorting with laughter when she joined them again. Leah slapped and shushed her, alerting Bella to the fact that, most likely, she and her **date** had been the subject.

"What?" She frowned.

"Nothing, nothing," Jackie giggled. "We just… um… were wondering if you are _prepared_, should anything happen tonight, if you know what I mean…" She buried her face in a pillow.

"Shut up!" Leah said. "Don't take her seriously, Bella!"

"I never do," Bella retorted.

"Eddie and B, sitting in a tree, F-U-C-K-I-N-G," Jackie chanted and giggled like a little maniac.

"Okay, what did she do?"

Bella placed her hands on her hips and faced Leah. Who rolled her eyes and made a meaningful move with her chin in the direction of the bed stand.

"What?" Bella stomped over to her bed and opened the drawer. "_Durex Extra Large? Durex Tingly? Durex Featherlite_? You've got to be kidding me." She sat on her bed and willed the blush that was spreading over her cheeks away.

"Well, we don't know which he prefers or _needs_, do we?"

Jackie looked at her, huge brown eyes all innocent.

Bella shut the drawer, shaking her head.

"What is _tingly_ meant to be, anyway," she muttered.

"It's with minty lube," Jackie piped up, and this time, her sister'd had enough, pounding upon her with a pillow.

"You, young lady, are very precautious and quite obnoxious, you know that? I wonder if I should tell Mum and Dad about your wide knowledge of condoms!"

Jackie shrieked, both in terror, and because Bella had started tickling her. They broke out in a good-natured, sisterly fight until Leah called out, "Guys! Guys!"

"What?"

"That was the doorbell, you little idiots."

Bella sobered immediately.

"Do I look okay?" She jumped off the bed. "You didn't place any other embarrassing items anywhere, did you? Are you sure about the dress? It's not too short, is it? _Oh, God_!"

"Relax, Bella." Jackie got up as well and kissed her sister's cheek. "He's going to love you."

**oOo**


	48. Chapter 48

**oOo**

Edward took a deep breath before he pressed the doorbell. He couldn't remember being this nervous; it was ridiculous!

Or was it?

When was the last time he'd been on a real date? The sort of date where emotions were involved?

He couldn't help but shake his head and smile, because it had been in the nineties.

"Hi."

A girl he didn't know opened the door, grinning widely. She had black hair and eyes almost the same colour, and he wondered immediately if she was Bella's sister.

"I'm Leah, Bella's friend." She stuck out her hand and shook his.

"Hi Leah. I'm Edward."

"Yeah, I thought so." She smiled, displaying a tiny gap between her two front teeth, which was charming. "Come in, she'll be ready in a second."

Edward stepped into the small apartment, and, like all the previous times, he felt wonderfully calm and relaxed here.

He cleared his throat.

"I like this flat," he said, feeling idiotic the moment the words left his mouth.

"You do?" Leah said. "She's quite proud of it," she whispered.

Edward already liked her.

"Edward!"

His attention was caught at the sound of Bella's voice as she exited the bathroom. And he thought he was going to faint.

She was an apparition of beauty and elegance and femininity. He's never seen her dressed up, obviously, and the sight was almost too much to take. She was wearing a lovely blue dress of shimmering, dark blue velvet, enhancing her milky white skin. And showing off her long and very shapely legs. Big time.

"Hi," he croaked.

"Hey." She crossed the distance between them and, standing on her tiptoes, kissed his cheek.

He swallowed.

"You… you…"

Bella looked up at him with huge brown eyes, a sweet smile on her lips.

Oh, right. She was probably waiting for him to say something.

"You're beautiful," he stammered. "I mean, obviously, you're always beautiful, but… especially… right now."

He took a deep breath.

"Hi there," another voice came from the bathroom door, and Edward finally managed to divert his eyes from Bella.

The girl who was waving at him had to be Bella's sister. She looked like a slightly younger edition, her hair the same chestnut, her eyes the same brown. Only her skin wasn't quite as pale as Bella's, and she wasn't as thin as her.

"Edward, meet my sister, Jackie."

"Hey!" Said sister shook Edward's hand with enthusiasm. She already reminded him of an over-eager puppy dog. "I'm Jackie!"

"I'm Edward. It's good to meet you, Jackie."

"You might hand her the flowers," Jackie stage-whispered loudly, and Bella blushed.

"Oh. Yes. Right."

He had totally forgotten about the bouquet of pink daisies in his hand.

"You mentioned you liked daisies the other day," he said as he gave them to Bella with a self-conscious shrug.

"They are beautiful. Thank you so much, Edward."

Her smile was genuine as she gazed at the flowers, and then at him.

"Let me put them in a vase." Leah offered, and Bella thanked her before she handed them to her.

"Jackie? Would you help me?" Leah said from the threshold to the kitchen.

"Filling water into a vase?" Bella's younger sister asked.

"_Yes_. Okay, guys, have fun!" Leah said.

"Oh. Of course. Have fun, big sis." Jackie kissed Bella's cheek. "Don't do anything I wouldn't!" She giggled.

"I won't do anything you _would_ do," Bella corrected her with a smile. "Bye, guys!"

She went to retrieve her coat from the hook by the door, but Edward beat her to it and helped her slip into it.

"Bye, guys," he called in the direction of the kitchen, and was answered by girlish giggles.

"Thank God," Bella breathed once they had stepped into the crisp night air. "They were driving me nuts!"

She shook her head.

She was so beautiful.

Edward opened the passenger door of his car.

He wanted to say something clever and witty, but what came out was, "You're so beautiful, Bella."

**oOo**

**Thank you so much for your support and reviews. I can't say it often enough: I couldn't do it without you.**


	49. Chapter 49

**oOo**

"Wow, this is nice," Bella murmured as they stepped into The Gate Vegetarian Restaurant.

She'd been a little silent on the car drive, but Edward was still so nervous himself that he just hoped it didn't mean anything.

His mind kept repeating that he was on a date.

A date.

_A date._

_A date!_

It was wonderful and terrifying.

He gave his name to the hostess, and she led them to a table by the window that overlooked St. John Street. It was a nice place. Candles were lit everywhere, and there was a large fireplace in the middle of the room. It felt warm and cosy, and Edward could tell that Bella liked it as well.

A server appeared almost immediately, handing out menus and reciting the specialities of the day.

Edward ordered a small beer, and Bella a glass of sparkling wine.

"This is pretty." She looked up from her menu. "But, Edward, no meat?"

She smiled sweetly, quoting him from the first time they'd cooked together at her flat.

"I have learnt that you can have the most delicious meal without meat," he replied. "The secret is how you prepare it."

They stared at each other for a moment, and then and on a sudden instinct, Edward brushed his knuckles over the back of her hand. Her eyes became even larger, and Edward's heart jumped as it recognized something akin to a welcome.

They had talked on the phone every day since the night of their kiss, but none of them had mentioned what had happened, though there had been flirtatious and sweet words.

"You look so lovely, Bella," he whispered, and gave her hand a little squeeze. Bella's smile was breathtaking as she confirmed his gesture.

"Thank you."

Her thumb brushed a little circle on his palm.

They smiled at each other until their server placed their drinks in front of them and Edward told her that they hadn't yet chosen anything.

"So… what movie are we seeing?" Bella asked.

They had talked a lot about films, and Edward knew that she liked crime stories and mysteries, but also old romantic movies. So he'd decided to find a cinema that would cater to her tastes.

"Um, _Gaslight_," he said. "Have you seen it?"

She shook her head and took a dainty sip of sparkling wine.

"That was made in the fifties, right?"

"Forties. It's with Ingrid Bergman, and Joseph Cotten."

Bella's smile merged into a thoughtful lip-bite.

"I might have seen it on the telly with my mum, but that was ages ago. That's great, Edward! I like old films."

"Phew," he sighed dramatically, wiping some non-existent sweat off his brow.

"Did you find anything yet?"

Both of them looked up into the blonde girl's face.

"Sorry," Edward mumbled. "One more minute, okay?"

"Certainly," she said with a smile like concrete.

"We _need _to choose something," Bella said. "When does the movie start, anyway?"

Edward scanned the menu. Surprisingly, all dishes looked good.

"Eight-thirty," he replied, "and I think I will have the beetroot risotto."

Bella chose the artichoke salad and grilled aubergine.

"So," he said once they'd ordered. He stroked her pinkie with his own. "Your sister and Leah, they seem nice."

"Leah certainly is," Bella smiled. "Jackie is a nuisance." But her smile gave her away.

"Of course," Edward said. "All siblings are."

"You and Rosalie… are you close?"

"Well, we don't see a terrible lot of each other, but I guess, yes, we are."

"She's nice. And so beautiful."

"Bella." Once again, Edward took her hand. "_You_ are beautiful."

She lowered her eyes and Edward watched her cheeks become rosy. He gave her fingers another gentle squeeze.

"You are," he whispered. She looked up through her lashes, and smiled shyly.

Edward's heart felt as if it were made of cotton candy.

**oOo**

**I wanted Edward to take her to see **_**Rebecca**_**, but that would have been a bit too much, I guess.**

**Thank you for reading and for your reviews! I couldn't reply to all of them, but I read them and they make me so happy!**

**Xoxo**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	50. Chapter 50

**oOo**

Edward insisted on buying popcorn, candy and giant soft drinks.

"What?" he grinned once they were seated side by side in the old-fashioned movie theatre. "You have to have snacks when you watch a film!"

"You do?"

She watched him stuff his mouth with a handful of popcorn. It was gross, and cute. She took one for herself, chewing thoughtfully.

Dinner had been lovely. They had talked, and laughed, and eaten. She'd hadn't eaten this much in what felt like forever. With Edward, everything was different. She was so relaxed. He made her feel so pretty, so… revered, in a way no other man ever had.

She was self-confident, sure, but Edward touched some part within her that had been asleep until now.

The lights dimmed and the previews started. Edward stopped munching popcorn the moment the movie began, and at some point, his hand found its way over to hers, and their fingers braided themselves together in her lap.

Bella's heart broke out into a wild gallop, making it hard to concentrate on the film.

Ever the analytical mind, she tried to figure out what was going on between them.

She was extremely attracted to him in so many ways. His sensitivity, his intelligence, his talent. The way he was so masculine on the outside, and so caring and sweet on the inside.

Yeah… his manliness… that was sexy. _He_ was sexy. She even found the fact that he was so much older very attractive.

She realized that Edward was looking at her instead of the screen.

And then, he bent over and placed a tiny kiss on her lips, turning back to the movie afterward.

After that, it was impossible for Bella to think clearly.

The film ended and they walked into the brightness of the foyer. Edward discarded boxes and paper cups.

"Did you like it?" He raked his long fingers through his hair.

Bella nodded.

Edward smiled.

She was quiet on their way back to her place. Edward drove a red Volvo. He'd once told her that it was a very safe car to drive, and knowing how his wife had died – although they'd never talked about it – it made sense to Bella. He was a very careful driver, too.

The car pulled in at the curb in front of her building. Edward jumped out and opened her door for her, which, again, made her heart beat faster.

Bella knew that she was not going to need Jackie's "gifts" tonight, but she certainly wouldn't mind a goodnight kiss.

"Thank you for the wonderful evening," Edward said softly.

"Thank _you_. I really enjoyed myself."

"Bella, I…" He bent down and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead.

Bella could feel the disappointment spread from her heart to her stomach.

Of course nothing would ever happen. There were too many differences between them, both in age as in their backgrounds. She sighed a little.

And was thoroughly surprised when, in an impulsive move, Edward pulled her close and buried his face in her hair.

"Bella," he murmured thickly, the sound muffled by her hair. "You mean so much… so much to me."

Her nose was squeezed against his neck, and she inhaled his scent. It was something like amber and honey and man.

"You mean so much to me too, Edward," she mumbled against his warm, stubbly skin.

"I do?"

He pulled away, but only so far that he could look into her eyes.

"You do."

His eyes shone brightly in the yellow lights from the street lamps.

And then, his face came closer, and he kissed her, and it was every bit as exciting as the last time – only this time, it wasn't innocent.

It was filled with passion.

**oOo**

**I hope you all liked that?**


	51. Chapter 51

**oOo**

"Mmm…"

It was just a small sigh, but Bella's fingertips felt encouraged to move further into Edward's hair.

"Bella," he whispered between open-mouthed kisses. "Bella…"

Hot breaths were mingling, swollen lips melting. It was tender and intense, and warm and sensuous, and Bella was beginning to feel giddy in Edward's arms after… minutes, or hours, of kissing.

The November night was chilly, but she didn't feel cold. His hair was silky between her fingers, and his arms around her were strong. She, who always wanted to be in control, finally felt that she could let loose.

"Hey." He nuzzled her nose with his.

"Hey," she murmured, all gooey from their actions.

He kissed her again, soft lips moulding with hers. They couldn't stop.

Edward rested his forehead against hers as they both tried to catch their breath.

"Sweet Bella," he whispered.

"I want to ask you to come inside," she murmured against his warm lips, "but I guess that would be… kind of early, right?"

"I want to come inside with you," he mumbled back, pecking her lips with tiny kisses between words. "But I know it would be too early."

And they both laughed softly before they resumed their kisses, oblivious to the world around them. Until Bella's phone beeped loudly from her handbag, pulling them out of the magic between them.

"I don't want to go," Edward whispered against her lips. "Will I see you tomorrow?"

"I'm having lunch with my family… But maybe… after that?"

"Yes." She could feel him smile.

"I don't want you to go, either."

"Good to know."

Another kiss.

And another.

When he finally left, Bella found herself staring after the red Volvo until it rounded the corner. She practically flew the two flights of stairs to her flat, throwing off her coat and flinging herself on the bed. She stared at the ceiling. Her mind was, for once, a pleasant blank.

Maybe they weren't a perfect match.

Maybe things might get difficult.

Maybe everything happened for a reason.

It felt right.

She closed her eyes and relived their kiss in every tiny detail. The way his body had felt against hers. So much taller and broader.

His smell, clean and manly and utterly arousing.

His lips, moving eagerly with hers.

And the tiny sounds both of them had made.

His words.

His warm breath.

And then her phone beeped, and she jumped up to get it.

One message from Jackie, which had to be the reason her phone had beeped earlier.

"_Don't forget to use the minty ones, lol."_

Bella shook her head. The new message was from Edward.

"_Beautiful Bella. Thank you again for tonight. I miss you already as I am sitting in my kitchen with a moronic grin. Your sweet lips, your beautiful smile, your bright eyes… I can't wait to see you tomorrow. I'm so, so glad that we met. E."_

Bella squealed silently and threw herself back on her bed.

"_Edward," _she typed_. "Yes, it was lovely. I'm so, so glad we met, too. And I am thinking of you as I lie on my bed. I'm looking forward to tomorrow. Sweet dreams, sweet Edward. B."_

She shut her eyes and floated.

**oOo**

**Thank you for reading and reviewing!**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	52. Chapter 52

_o_

_There is blood, so much blood._

"_Can you identify this person, Mr. Cullen?"_

"_Yes."_

_His voice is stifled with tears._

"_Yes, I can."_

_He looks at her face, which is strangely unmarred but for a cut on her cheek._

"_She is Irina Denali. My wife."_

_o_

Edward was bent over the toilet bowl, puking his brains out.

It had only been a dream, but it didn't seem like a dream. Everything had felt so real.

Edward dry-heaved. There was nothing but bile left.

He flushed the toilet and stood on wobbly legs. He brushed his teeth.

He'd had two glasses of wine once he'd been home from his beautiful date with Bella. He'd watched a rerun of _Strictly Come Dancing_ and had gone to bed at about one a.m.

He had been feeling fine, and the dream had been so uncalled for.

Edward shuffled back into his bedroom. It was just after six, but he doubted he'd be able to go back to sleep. He pulled on an old woollen jumper and went to his studio.

Work on his latest painting was the only thing that would bring him peace of mind now.

.

He worked until noon, only stopping to make coffee and have a slice of toast. He decided to go for a run – something he'd been doing regularly in earlier days, but only now and then over the past five years.

The air was surprisingly mild for November, the pale sunlight caressing his face. Edward's breath painted little white clouds as he ran, his feet crunching rhythmically on the gravel. He took the route he had mostly taken with Milo, and smiled wistfully as he remembered how the dog loved to retrieve his favourite toy, a rubber chicken.

Edward was completely drained when he returned home, taking a long, very hot shower. His phone beeped when he exited the bathroom. It was a message from Bella, making his heart jump.

"_I'm still at my parents', but I could come over at around five? B"_

"_That would be lovely. Looking forward to seeing you. E"_

Had that been too curt?

Edward groaned and rubbed his eyes. He clearly had no idea how to do this.

He still didn't know what "this" was.

He was attracted to Bella, overwhelmingly so, and hoped that she felt the same way.

It was nothing he had experienced before. With Irina, things had been different. They'd been closer in age, and she had been an artist as well. Then, there had been the conflict with her family, so there'd always been this sense of two against the rest of the world.

With Bella, things were just warm, and easy. She didn't look up to him because she admired him as an artist. She didn't expect him to produce great paintings, or to live up to some public image. She seemed to like him for himself alone, with all his flaws and quirks.

Edward towelled off and slipped into boxers, jeans, and a black knitted pullover. He tried to tame his messy hair, but gave up after a minute.

He looked at his image in the bathroom mirror.

And he smiled at himself.

**oOo**

**Thank you for reading!**


	53. Chapter 53

**oOo**

Jackie was teasing Bella mercilessly all through lunch, making insinuations, giggling, and wondering aloud whether her sister'd had a nice evening.

Their parents, of course, showed some interest too, so Bella told them that, yes, there was someone she was seeing, but that it was very new.

"But he's a nice boy?" Renee wanted to know.

"He's very nice, mum."

"But he's not exactly a boy!" Jackie piped up with a snorting giggle.

"What do you mean, not a boy?" Charles Swan, though open-minded and liberal, blanched. "You mean… you mean you're seeing a girl?"

All eyes were on Bella, who wanted nothing more than to throttle her sister.

"What Jackie was trying to say in her inept way was, that Edward is not exactly a boy. He's… well…" Bella swallowed. "A man."

"He's, like, fifty!" Jackie exclaimed.

Now, it was Renee's turn to get pale.

"He's not!" Bella smacked her sister's arm. "He's forty," she added softly, staring at her mashed potatoes.

"Wow." Charles cleared his throat. "That's quite some age gap."

"I know," Bella whispered. "But I really like him, Daddy. You should meet him. He's a lovely person."

"Well, he sure looks good," Jackie said. "For an old guy!"

"Can you just hold your big mouth for one fucking second?" Bella screamed.

"Bella!" Renee scolded.

"Be good, girls," Charles admonished.

After that, they turned to more harmless subjects, but Bella was mostly silent.

If that was her family's reaction to the mere fact they had been on one date, what was everybody else going to say? And they didn't even know the rest – that Edward was a widower, and that he sometimes drank too much…

She was glad when lunch was over. She played her weekly game of Rummy with her dad.

"Don't mind Jackie," Charles said in his usual good-natured tone. "You know how she is."

"I really like him, Daddy."

"I know. You've been so happy the past few weeks. You're sparkling, Pumpkin, and if a man does that for you, I like him too."

Bella looked up and smiled, her dark eyes meeting her father's similar ones.

"Of course, if things get, um… serious between the two of you, I'd certainly like to meet him."

"Sure, Daddy."

She told everyone goodbye at half past four and finally made her way to Maida Vale with a fluttering heart.

Edward opened the door of his house only a second after she'd rung the doorbell, making Bella wonder whether he'd been waiting behind the front door.

"Hey," he beamed.

"Hey."

This time, there was no awkward moment. He placed a soft kiss on her lips, and his hand went to her face, covering her cheek, his thumb passing over her skin.

He shut the door and helped her out of her coat.

"Did you have a nice lunch?" he asked, taking her hand as he walked her into the living room. His long fingers felt spectacular wrapped around hers.

They sat down on his large, burgundy velvet sofa, facing each other. Edward took her hands into his.

"I'm so glad you're here."

"So am I."

They were silent, the connection between their hands speaking loudly and clearly.

Bella moved closer to him, and Edward moved closer to her.

He wrapped her in his arms and kissed her ear through her hair, and her cheek. He sighed.

"Bella."

"Edward."

She inhaled his scent again. It turned her brains to mush.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too."

He sighed, and placed a gentle kiss on her temple. His lips moved lower, to her cheek.

"Bella… I…"

She moved a little, just so that she could look into his eyes.

"You are so beautiful, Bella. A beautiful person, and a beautiful woman. And you are so important to me."

"Edward," she sighed.

And then, they melted into a kiss.

**oOo**

**Thank you for all the sweet reviews! I'm sorry if I failed at replying to some of you, but please know that I am incredibly grateful for each one!**

**xoxo**

**Your **

**harperpitt**


	54. Chapter 54

**oOo**

"Bella… beautiful Bella…"

Another kiss, passionate and tender.

She sighed. At the back of her mind, she was wondering where this was going, and if they were moving too fast, but then Edward pulled her even closer, and any thought she'd had went flying out the window.

Her fingers moved into his hair and Edward responded with a happy little growl. His hands were splayed over her back, gentle fingertips moving now and then, but never straying.

She was floating on warmth and endorphins, her heart beating so heavily against her ribs that she wondered if Edward would feel it as well. Never had a kiss induced such euphoria in her.

"Bella…" His breath was hot against her lips, his eyes almost black this close.

"Mmm?"

"I… Can we take this slow?" He kissed her forehead, her eyelids.

"Yes," she whispered.

Edward sighed and placed another succession of kisses on her lips before he pulled her with him and lay on his back so she could put her face on his chest. He was wearing a cosy black jumper, softness covering his hard chest.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, "I don't know how to do this anymore."

"Oh, I think you do," Bella responded softly and kissed his neck and chin, stubbly with two days' worth of beard.

"I don't…"

He fell silent again, and Bella didn't push him. She ran her fingers up and down his chest and listened to his heartbeat.

"I don't know how much I can offer you," he said after a couple of minutes, his voice thick. "I'm not exactly a blank sheet…"

"I like the writing you have on you," she completed the metaphor, and put another kiss on his neck.

"There are things… I'm difficult."

"I don't think so." She moved so she could look into his eyes. "You're a wonderful person, Edward. We all have a past. Even I, though I'm younger, have a history. But it's not what defines me. What defines me is today. Who I want to be today, and tomorrow."

She kissed his lips, and Edward closed his eyes. She felt him relax.

"I don't want to hurt you, Bella."

"Why would you hurt me?"

"By fucking things up. The way I usually do."

She kissed his nose.

"I won't let you."

He wrapped both arms around her.

"How can you be so marvellous?"

She shrugged.

"Everything feels better with you, Edward. Everyone's afraid of getting hurt. I am, too."

She placed her head back on its spot on Edward's chest.

They were silent for quite a long time, and there was no sound but their breathing and occasionally, a neighbourhood dog barking somewhere. At one point, she could hear church bells chime in the distance.

"Have you been hurt?" he asked.

"Not the way you have been. But yes, I have."

"What happened?" His voice was low and gentle.

"I fell in love with a boy, Alec. He was my first love. We were a couple for about a year, and then he cheated on me with another girl. It broke my heart."

"What a fucker."

Edward's body became slightly rigid.

"I kept blaming myself."

"_What_?" he said incredulously.

"Yeah, you see, I was having problems back then. I was actually getting better, and he was a big help in that process. But apparently, I wasn't getting well soon enough for him."

"Bella?"

She could feel him swallow.

Maybe, if she opened up for him, it would make it easier for him to do the same? She wanted him to know her, the real her.

Or was it too much, too soon?

Edward kissed her forehead.

"Will you tell me, Bella?"

**oOo**


	55. Chapter 55

**oOo**

"I was a happy child," Bella began, her voice very soft. "My parents, my sister, my friends – everything was fine. My mum's friend Susan has a ballet studio, and I started taking classes when I was five."

"You must have looked so cute," Edward murmured. He was playing with her hair, now and then brushing his fingers over her back and neck.

"I liked doing it, and by the time I was twelve, we were actually considering if I should audition at the English National Ballet School, but Mum and Dad were against it at such an early age. It was no big deal for me. I went to school, and attended ballet school two or three times a week."

She paused, and Edward wasn't certain why.

"Hmm?" He kissed her temple, encouraging her to go on.

"I don't want it all to sound more dramatic than it actually was," she said.

"Just tell me the stuff you feel okay telling me," he encouraged.

"Okay." She took a deep breath. "When I was thirteen or fourteen, well, like most girls, I started getting boobs."

Edward couldn't help but smile at her choice of words. He kissed her hair.

"Yes?"

"You see, ballet dancers aren't supposed to have boobs. Maybe tiny ones. Not…"

She swallowed.

"I was embarrassed all the time, trying the most ridiculous things to hide them. And then I got this idea, that it was happening because I wasn't skinny enough."

Edward wanted to intercede, to tell her that she was way too thin, and that she was beautiful, and that her boobs were amazing, but he held his tongue.

"So I stopped eating."

"You stopped?"

"Not entirely, of course. I would eat apples, and an occasional bite of crispbread. Carrots, and salad with no dressing. I fooled everyone for quite some time. I told my parents that I had eaten at school, and I'd tell my friends that I wasn't hungry. That worked for almost a year before Mum intervened. I promised to eat better, but I only invented new strategies to hide the fact that I wasn't. At one point, I weighed less than ninety pounds."

"Oh, God." Edward squeezed his eyes shut.

"And the worst thing was… I still had the boobs!" Bella laughed a little into his armpit.

"What happened?" he asked in a flat voice.

"They managed to talk some sense into me. My parents, and Jackie, and Susan. I agreed to go into therapy. Luckily, I never fell as deep as a lot of other girls do. Maybe I had some survival instinct, I don't know."

"Thank God," Edward whispered, drawing her a little closer, noticing once again that he could feel each vertebrae in her back.

"The thing is, I _wanted_ to get better, because all the time, I had been really miserable. Not to mention that my usually flawless grades in school were dropping, and that my chances to ever become a professional dancer had diminished."

"Oh, Bella," he whispered into her hair. His heart constricted painfully at the idea of her suffering.

"But I managed," she said, and there was some pride in her voice. "It took me a long time, but I had so much help. And then, I met Alec, and he loved me the way I was, and that, I think, was very healing."

"And then he dumped you." Edward's blood began to boil.

"Yes," she said sadly. "There was a small relapse, but I managed."

"Come here," Edward murmured, pulling her as close as humanely possible. "You're so beautiful, Bella. The most beautiful girl in the world. I'm so glad you're okay now." He pulled back so he could look in her eyes. "You_ are_ okay now, aren't you?"

"I am, Edward." She nodded. "It's still not an easy subject for me, and I have to fight so as not to relapse into bad habits whenever things get difficult, but, yes, I'm okay."

"Okay," he whispered. He placed a tender kiss on her lips.

"Do you want to cook dinner?" she asked, and Edward almost started to cry at her courage and strength.

Instead of a reply, he pulled her up with him, kissed her again, and walked her to the kitchen.

**oOo**

**Thank you for all the wonderful reviews for the last chapter. I have the sweetest readers in the world. Hugs and kisses!**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	56. Chapter 56

**oOo**

They sat in Edward's kitchen until midnight, talking, laughing, holding hands. There were small and big kisses, gentle touches, and shared secrets.

Edward's amazement at Bella's bravery and maturity kept growing.

He was sixteen years older and felt like a complete dork in comparison to her.

She was adorable in every way, and he simply couldn't believe that she didn't see herself as the beautiful person she was, inside and out.

She was quite open about her problems, now that she had finally told him about them. Edward had learned that she was still seeing her therapist every two or three months, and that, although she was eating three meals a day, she still had some rules ingrained into her brain. Sugar, fat and carbohydrates were difficult subjects.

"But you had a cup of cocoa the other day, at Chocolate Heaven…"

"I told you I'm working on it."

And her impish smile went straight to his heart.

"Bella." He kissed the inside of her wrist. "You're remarkable."

She leant into his palm and smiled. She closed her eyes.

They could be silent together, and that was something Edward had never experienced before with anyone.

He studied her lovely face, her pretty nose, her luscious lips, her milky-pale skin.

He was itching to go up to his studio and paint.

She opened her eyes. She looked quite sleepy.

"I'm sorry," she smiled.

"It's okay, love. More than okay." He kissed her lips. "I'll call you a cab, okay?"

Her expression changed minimally, and he anticipated her protests.

"Please?"

"Okay."

She moved closer and kissed him, and it was not a "thanks-for-calling-a-cab" kiss.

Edward could still feel her lips on his half an hour later, when she'd gone.

He was riled up, and there was no way he'd be able to sleep after everything that Bella had told him. His mind and heart were in turmoil as he processed everything that had happened.

How could a person as pure and beautiful as Bella have gone through so much?

How could she ever have thought that she wasn't pretty? That she wasn't enough? How could she ever have doubted her own strength and uniqueness? Her beauty?

He was raging inside. Bella was the most precious factor in his life. He'd never felt this way with anyone.

Not even with Irina.

The thought that Bella, _his_ beautiful Bella, had been cheated on by a silly boy, and that it had driven her into a relapse, made him crazy. He wanted to punch something, to scream.

He knew, of course, how to cope with his feelings..

Edward wasn't even realizing what he was doing when he poured himself a glass of Glenlivet. It had been his way of coping for so long.

He went up to his studio and started to paint, losing himself in his art until the sky became grey, and he stumbled into bed at six-thirty.

The glass of Scotch was still on the cupboard, next to his paintbrushes.

It was untouched.

**oOo**


	57. Chapter 57

**oOo**

The following weeks galloped by for Bella. She had to write an essay on Evolutionary Linguistics and worked for Jasper several times. But Edward called every night, and they met for a walk in the park, and for another dinner-and-movie date. Also, there was this one time when he came to her flat after nine, just because she had sounded sad on the phone. He brought her flowers and a relaxing bath.

Edward was always, always on her mind, but she reminded herself that they'd agreed to go slow. And that was hard.

Because Bella found herself wanting more.

She wanted Edward.

Everything about him. She wanted him to tell her about his past. She wanted to comfort him.

The Christmas season had arrived, and everyone was busy shopping for presents, going to Christmas parties, and preparing for the holidays.

Bella was out one Thursday afternoon, browsing through the aisles at Foyles, when her phone rang, and the display lit up with Edward's face. She had taken his picture a few days ago. He had just gotten his new glasses, and had been complaining endlessly, until Bella shut him up with a kiss.

"Hi there," she said softly, retreating to a quiet corner of the shop. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," he replied. "Perfect, actually. I just had a meeting with my agent and agreed to have an exhibition at the Saatchi Gallery in February."

"Wow, that's great! What convinced you to do it?"

She knew that Edward had had reservations about the new art show. He didn't feel happy with any of his recent works, saying that they were lacking, but he didn't know in what.

"I've been on a roll these last weeks," he said. "I think it's going somewhere."

"That's wonderful!"

"But that's not why I was calling you," he said. "My sister Rosalie has tickets for the Royal Ballet on Saturday, but she forgot that Emmett's publisher invited them to his Christmas party that night, so they have to go. She mentioned it on the phone last night, and I asked whether she wanted to get rid of them."

"Oh… Okay…"

"Do you want to go, Bella? They're showing _The Nutcracker_."

Bella gasped. It had been a couple of years since she'd last seen a ballet. Despite her difficult history as far as the matter was concerned, she still loved the ballet.

"If I want to go? Are you crazy? Of course!" She squealed softly.

"That's great," Edward said, sounding relieved, which in itself was cute.

But something crossed Bella's mind.

"Oh, shit!" she exclaimed, a little too loudly. A young woman with a pram looked up with a scornful face.

"What is it?"

"I forgot. I promised Jasper and Alice to help them at a cocktail reception at the Freud Museum."

"Oh." He sounded so disappointed.

Bella bit her lip, already thinking of ways to deal with everything. She had been working a lot for Whitlock's Brand over the past few months. She was always on time, and she always gave one hundred per cent on the job.

Surely she could cancel one single time?

"Don't worry," she told Edward. "I'll call Alice. I'm sure they'll be okay without me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Her voice was firm. "I'll call Alice, and then I'll call you back, okay?"

"Okay," he said softly.

Bella felt a bit nervous as she dialled Alice's private number. Alice was much less likely to throw a tantrum than Jasper was.

It rang a few times, before her call was accepted.

"Hi, Bella," Jasper said, and Bella was groaning inside.

**oOo**

**Thank you for your ongoing support and the wonderful reviews. It means the world.**


	58. Chapter 58

**oOo**

In the end, Bella and Jasper agreed on a compromise. She would help Alice with the preparations for finger food and nibbles. They'd load the van together and deliver the food, and then, Bella could leave.

She knew that Jasper wasn't happy about her plans. She hadn't told him a lot about her budding friendship with Edward, but Jasper was very insightful, and had made it clear that he didn't agree with what was happening.

Bella was too happy to dwell on it, and sent Edward a message as soon as she'd ended her call with Jasper.

"_Looking forward to the Nutcracker! Talk to you later, xx B"_

She left the shop without buying anything, smiling all the way home. She was already considering what to wear – which was unlikely Bella Swan behaviour – and imagining various scenarios of herself and Edward at the Royal Opera House.

Once home, she made a pot of tea and settled down in Grandma Higginbotham's chair with her laptop to get some work done. Time flew by, and when she looked up because her phone was ringing, it was almost eight p.m.

It was Alice.

"Bella!" she sang. "I hear that you're standing us up? I want to hear all about it!"

Bella groaned.

"Hi, Alice."

"Spill!"

"There's nothing… there's nothing to spill, Alice."

"I don't believe you! Jazzy said that you won't be there on Saturday, because you and Edward are attending the ballet!"

"Yes," Bella admitted reluctantly. "His sister has tickets, and she can't use them."

"So, what's going on between the two of you? Are you dating?"

"No! I mean… I don't know." Bella huffed with frustration as she sat back in her chair. She didn't want to admit that Edward was driving her crazy, and that she couldn't interpret his behaviour.

They clearly were more than friends. Friends didn't kiss the way Edward kissed her.

But were they dating?

They had never spoken about their feelings, let alone about exclusiveness.

They just _were_, and when she was with him, it was enough. The questions and doubts always came when he was gone.

"Have you kissed him yet?"

"Hmm," Bella replied, but Alice took it as confirmation.

"Yay," she squealed. "I knew it!"

"Yeah, but… It's not like we are a thing…" She sighed. "Was Jasper very mad?"

"No, not really. It's just…" Alice paused, her usual exuberance on a temporary hold. "He's heard negative things about Edward, but I hope you won't let that deter you. You really like him, don't you?"

"Yes," Bella whispered. "I do."

"Then just enjoy your date, that's what I say."

"I think I will," Bella said softly. "Thanks, Alice. And give Jasper my love."

She was just about to say goodnight when Alice piped up.

"What are you going to wear, Bella?"

**oOo**

**Thank you so much for your sweet reviews and your ongoing support!**

_**Mistletoe and You**_** is up for fic of the week at The Lemonade Stand – you can vote for two more days at **

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**Your**

**harperpitt**


	59. Chapter 59

**oOo**

Bella sighed wistfully as the curtains closed, ending the first act of _The Nutcracker_.

She was having a marvellous evening.

She'd gasped when Edward had showed up at her front door in a black suit with a slim tie. She'd never seen a man this soulful and sexy.

Now, he had his arm wrapped around her waist as he led her to the little table that held their pre-ordered glasses of champagne. Bella felt very spoiled and pampered by Edward. On the one hand, it was gorgeous and luxurious, on the other, she kept feeling a little ill at ease.

The simple fact was that he had a lot more money than she did. Or her parents. Or anyone she knew.

"To this wonderful evening." Edward raised his glass.

This was another thing she'd gotten used to. Edward liked to have a drink or four. Never so much as to be drunk.

She could live with that.

"What these people do with their bodies," Edward remarked, entwining her fingers with his, "is amazing." He shook his head.

"I know," Bella replied. "They make it look so easy, while it's the hardest work."

"You're okay that we came, aren't you?" A worried frown had crept up between his eyebrows.

"Of course, silly." She gave his fingers a squeeze.

Edward opened his mouth to say something when he was interrupted by a female voice.

"Edward! Darling!"

They looked up. A beautiful, skinny black woman smiled at them.

"Oh, hi. Hello, Zafrina."

"Edward! How good to see you."

Edward got up from his chair, leaving Bella's fingers cold and lonely.

"Yeah, um. Bella, this is Zafrina Huilen. Zafrina, this is Isabella Swan."

Bella and Zafrina shook hands. Bella couldn't help but stare at her. Her beauty was otherworldly.

"Hi," she said softly.

"Hi!" The woman barely acknowledged Bella before she turned back to Edward, who was standing awkwardly between the two women.

She felt small and boring between those two exquisitely beautiful beings.

Old fears were bubbling up fast.

Edward chatted with Zafrina, but Bella could tell that he was feeling ill at ease. Everything in his body language told her that he was far from being relaxed. She wanted to take his hand again, but somehow, she knew that he wouldn't appreciate that.

"… incredible," Zafrina was saying. "And the gallery is such a lovely place, too. Joham told me that there might be a retrospective of Irina's work? Is that right?"

Edward's face became even paler, and Bella could see his jaw get tense.

She had no real idea what Zafrina was talking about, but she wanted to shout, "Wrong subject! Wrong subject!"

"Well, I haven't been approached, but maybe her family in the U.S. agreed to something. I don't know."

He grabbed his glass of champagne and practically downed it.

He was clearly suffering, and it broke Bella's heart that there was nothing she could do – that he didn't seem to want her to do anything. It was as if she wasn't even present.

And that hurt.

"Excuse me," she mumbled, turning away and making her way to the toilets. Tears were burning her eyes, threatening to spill over. She locked the door of the stall and leant against the wall, trying to muffle her cries with her fist.

She didn't want to cry about him. She wanted to shout at him. She was so angry.

He had behaved as if she wasn't even there!

He hadn't told this despicable Zafrina woman, "This is Bella Swan, my beautiful girlfriend."

_No._

"Isabella Swan" had been his way of introduction.

Bella kicked the door of the stall.

A bell resounded, informing the audience that the performance was about to continue. She realized that she couldn't go out and rejoin Edward.

She probably looked like a panda bear. There was no way she'd let him see her like this.

She dried her eyes with a piece of toilet paper. She blew her nose.

And then, she sneaked out of the ladies' room. People were making their way back to the theatre, and Bella used the opportunity to hurry to the cloakroom to retrieve her coat.

Once she was outside, she couldn't stop her tears.

**oOo**


	60. Chapter 60

**oOo**

Edward started looking for Bella once he had got ridden of that abominable Zafrina. She had been an acquaintance mostly of Irina's, and Edward dimly remembered her from various art shows and parties.

Since there was no longer a queue at the bar, he ordered a quick shot of Scotch. It was what he needed after that conversation. He downed it and went searching for Bella.

The bell rang for the second time. Everyone was returning to their places, chattering excitedly as they made their way through the foyer. The crowd was thinning.

Where was she?

Edward turned around, his eyes searching frantically.

Had she returned to the auditorium without him?

No, that would be unlike her.

Suddenly, a sort of dark shadow near the entrance doors caught Edward's attention. It was Bella, in her thick, black coat.

"Bella!" he called, but she was already leaving.

"Bella! Bella, wait!"

He ran after her, catching her just as she was stepping outside.

"Bella, Bella! Wait!"

She turned round, and Edward's heart broke when he saw that she was crying. Her eyes were red, her makeup smeared.

"I'm sorry," he gasped. "I'm so sorry, Bella."

She didn't protest when he wrapped her in his arms. Even in her ridiculous Antarctica coat, she felt small and fragile.

What an idiot he was! She'd probably felt like shit, standing next to him and Zafrina, who kept babbling on about Irina and her work.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," he whispered into her hair.

It was cold outside, and he was just in his suit, but he didn't care if he got pneumonia.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," he repeated. "Please, please forgive me."

She was crying, tiny sobs against his chest crushing him further.

"Please, please, Bella… I'm so sorry…"

"It's not your fault," she finally replied, sniffling, but looking up at him. Despite her panda bear eyes, she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. And for some reason, holding her, despite the fact that her despair was his fault – it felt good.

It had been a long time since Edward had been the one to provide comfort, not the one to receive it.

"It's okay," she whispered. "It was childish of me."

"No." he swallowed. "No, you have every right to be mad. My behaviour was so insensitive… I just… I just didn't think. That stupid woman kept going on and on, and it caught me off guard. I just wanted her to stop. I never realized how you must have felt…"

He kissed the top of her head.

"Are we okay?" he murmured into her hair, and saying the words, he imagined what life would be if Bella said no, that they were not okay, and that she didn't want to see him anymore.

The idea alone made him want to throw up.

"Yes, we're okay." Her voice was so soft he almost didn't hear her.

His sigh of relief was ten times louder.

**oOo**


	61. Chapter 61

**oOo**

Bella never told Edward that what had hurt her most was not the fact that this woman Zafrina had talked about his deceased wife – Bella had hardly listened to that.

What had hurt most was the way he had introduced her.

"Isabella Swan." Nothing more.

Not, "my girlfriend, Bella Swan," or "my friend Bella." Nothing to convey that they were more than acquaintances.

The way his fingers had let go of hers. That had hurt.

But then, she wasn't his girlfriend, was she?

They'd never talked about their relationship status.

Maybe she should change the line in her facebook account to "it's complicated."

Bella sighed and returned to her task, baking a cake for lunch with the family.

After last night's drama, Edward had taken her home with a cab and they'd had a glass of wine at her place. Well, two, in Edward's case.

They had talked about the incident, and she believed him when he said that he just had not been thinking, that he'd felt overwhelmed and out of his depth. Especially because Zafrina kept reminding him of Irina.

She couldn't even begin to imagine how hard it had to be for him.

Well, more precisely: she didn't know, because it was something Edward seldom talked about. Not that she was eager to discuss his wife with him, but it still was the proverbial pink elephant in the room.

They had sat with each other, his arm around her, his head on top of hers. It was easy to forgive him, seeing how sorry and downtrodden he was.

She just couldn't help feeling so… right in his arms.

She frosted the cake and drank a cup of coffee, then took a long hot bath, using the bath salts Edward had given her the other night. It smelled like lavender and roses, and it turned the water a pinkish-purple colour.

She thought of Edward, and she realized that she missed him, and that she sometimes even missed him when they were together. She had no idea what his feelings toward her were, and it was slowly but surely driving her crazy.

.

Lunch with the family was more lively than usual, due to the fact that Grandma Marie and Jackie's boyfriend Paul had joined the Swans. The whole family loved the Christmas season, and their Sunday lunches in December were always more festive than at other times.

Pookie greeted Bella wearing reindeer ears. She cuddled him and gave him the cookie she'd brought. Pookie wore the dog equivalent of a grin after that.

Bella was quite relaxed, and she tried not to think back to last night. Paul seemed to be a nice guy, and he even had inspired Jackie to get some information about various degree courses at the University of London. That, of course, awarded him some major brownie point with Charles and Renee.

Grandma Marie, who was in her mid-seventies and quite agile, talked about her own dogs, two dachshunds named Louis and Lestat.

Everything was swell.

Until Jackie piped up.

"So, now that Paul has joined our merry circle, when are we going to meet your mysterious Mr. Big?"

"That's an odd name for a person, isn't it?" Grandma Marie mused.

"It's not his name," Bella said, giving her sister the stink eye.

"Then why call him that?"

"No one does," Bella said, feeling her cheeks get warm.

"But Jackie –"

"Jackie is a moron."

"Bella!" Renee shook her head.

"Okay, what do you want? You want me to invite him over so he can join our _merry circle_?" Bella almost shouted.

"Yes, of course, Bells." Charles's voice was calm and deep.

She looked up at him. The love in his dark eyes made her feel better.

"Of course we would like to meet him, Pumpkin. But only if you feel ready for that. You know he'll be welcome to our house."

It was exactly what Bella needed to hear, and exactly what she did not want to hear.

Because Charles had it down to a T.

**oOo**

**Thank you for all the lovely reviews. A note to guest reviewers – I can't reply to your comments or questions if you don't have an account. Someone asked me to please start writing this story again. Um, I am writing it. Every day. **

**I'm sorry if this is slow and short, but that's the way it is. Considering this story has no more that 36 000 words, I don't think it's going slow, anyway. If the chapters were normal length, I'd update once a week and we'd only be at chapter eight. **

**Thank you again, you lovely guys. Are you looking forward to Christmas as much as I am?**

**xoxo**

**your**

**harperpitt**


	62. Chapter 62

**oOo**

Bella went down with a cold the following week and stayed in bed for two days. Her mum brought her soup and some medication, as well as three gossip magazines – Bella's guilty pleasure.

She hadn't seen Edward since their outing to the ballet, but they talked on the phone every night, sometimes for two hours. Last night, she'd been too groggy to chat for a long time. He'd asked her whether she needed anything, but she had declined, saying that her mum had already taken care of it.

Presently, Bella was dozing in front of the TV, which she had turned around so she could watch it from her bed. She was feeling better, and was planning on attending her Sociolinguistics class the next day.

She was pondering whether she should get up, go to the kitchen, and get a yoghurt, when her phone rang.

"Hello, Edward!"

"Hi, how are you? You sound much better."

"I feel better too. The headache's gone, and my throat is better as well."

"Listen, I'm in Kensington right now, so I was wondering if I might come over? Maybe you need something?"

"I'm fine, but if you'd like to drop by… Yeah, sure."

"Okay."

He sounded oddly… relieved.

Her doorbell rang only fifteen minutes later, which made Bella think that he'd probably already been on his way.

She'd barely had time to put a comb through her hair and slip on a robe.

"Hey," a voice from behind an enormous flower bouquet said. There were yellow and pink roses, daisies, lilies and carnations. The scent was beguiling.

He lowered the flowers, and Bella's heart sped up at seeing him after five long days.

He looked tired, but he'd been telling her that he was working late hours, wanting to make the best use of his flow in painting.

"These are beautiful."

"Beautiful flowers for a beautiful girl," he crooned, then ran a hand through his hair, apparently embarrassed at his own cheesiness.

"Thank you so much! Come in."

Edward hung up his coat and followed her to the kitchen, where she tended to the flowers.

"I also brought you this," he said once she turned back to face him.

She placed the vase on the counter. He was holding an envelope in his hand.

"What's that?"

"I… um… I made this for you. Open it."

She did, and gasped.

It was a perfect, small drawing. Two rabbits were sitting on an old-fashioned, blue sofa. One was wearing glasses and seemed a little older. The other had a pink muffler around its throat. There was also a bottle of cough drops next to it. The older rabbit was holding the younger one's paw.

The picture was clearly drawn by a masterly hand. It was incredibly sweet and sentimental, yet oddly realistic, as if two rabbits sitting on a sofa were the most common thing in the world.

Underneath were letters in blue: "Get well soon."

It was the most touching thing Bella had ever seen, and she bit her lip so as not to break into tears.

Edward was nervously drumming his fingers on the counter, waiting for her response.

"Edward." She finally looked up at him. "This is… amazing. I can't believe that you made this for me."

He shrugged lopsidedly.

"Wow, I'm probably a millionaire now," she giggled.

"Hardly. Anyway, I was hoping you wouldn't sell it." He scratched the back of his neck.

"I was only joking," she said quickly. "Thank you, Edward." She hugged him awkwardly. No one has ever given me anything so special."

"You like it?" Still, there was an undercurrent of uncertainty.

"Like it? It's adorable! Thank you, thank you!"

And finally, Edward smiled.

"Do I get a kiss?"

**oOo**


	63. Chapter 63

_o_

"_It's okay, darling," she whispers. "It's okay. Really okay."_

"_I love you," he mumbles through his tears. "You must know that. I love you."_

"_I know, Edward. As I love you."_

"_What if I forget you?"_

"_You won't ever forget me."_

"_I'm so scared," he sobs._

"_I know. But you can do this, Edward. It's been a long time. Now blossom forth."_

_o_

Edward groaned when his alarm rang. He could not remember his dream, just a sense of lingering lightness.

He showered and had coffee and toast, thinking back to last night. Bella had been sweet as always, beautiful in an almost ethereal way. And she liked his little drawing, which was the most important thing to Edward.

He'd spent quite some time bent over his desk the night before, working into the morning hours until he was satisfied.

Bella had mentioned one time that rabbits were her favourite animals. They were always seen as cute bunnies, shy and reticent, when in reality and in wild life, they were, in her words, "tough little fuckers," who loved their freedom and refused to be domesticated.

He arrived at Rosalie's shortly after eleven, only ten minutes late.

Emmett was puttering about in sweaters and a T-shirt, mumbling into his phone.

"His agent has been harassing him for days," Rosalie explained as she slipped into her Gucci coat. She rolled her eyes. "Come on, let's get this done. Bye, Em."

"Bye," Edward added, but Emmett only waved his hand and continued mumbling.

"Where do you want to start looking?" Edward asked once they were in the car.

It was a tradition for the Cullen siblings to go Christmas shopping together for their parents' gift. Usually, it was an antique piece of furniture or a painting. One time, they'd given them a trip to Rome.

"There's this lovely shop in Islington. I know the owner, and she told me about a Biedermeier tallboy. It might just be right for the guest room."

"Okay." Edward nodded, and started the car.

"How are you, Edward?"

Never one to beat around the bush, Rosalie cut right to it.

"Fine," he replied, steeling himself for the interrogation.

"You're working a lot, Mum said."

"I am. I finally agreed to do the exhibition at the Saatchi."

"Wow, that's great."

He looked at her, and Rosalie smiled.

"I know what you're thinking, Ro."

"What am I thinking?"

"Good he's painting, not drinking."

"And am I right?"

"Mostly. I'm working a lot."

"Good to hear it," Rosalie said. She ruffled his hair in a friendly gesture.

"Hmm."

He steered the car through the crazy London traffic and they were silent for a while until Rosalie started to talk about Vera. Edward was glad for the distraction, and since he loved his niece dearly, he was glad for the new subject.

They were laughing when he finally found a parking spot, and they were still laughing when they stepped into the shop named _Senna's Antiques._

It was a nice shop, with only first-class antique furniture and paintings, lamps and vases and bric-a-brac. There were a few other customers, but Edward and Rosalie were greeted quickly.

"Good afternoon! Can I help you?"

Edward and Rosalie turned to the woman who'd spoken, and Edward immediately felt sick.

It was Zafrina.

**oOo**

**Woops, he never gets a rest, does he?**


	64. Chapter 64

**oOo**

"Oh, hi Edward!" Zafrina exclaimed, and kissed his cheeks as if they were old buddies. "Long time no see, huh?" she laughed.

"What a coincidence," Edward said. "Meet my sister. Zafrina, this is Rosalie Cullen-McCarty. Ro, this is Zafrina Huilen. She and Irina used to be friends."

"How do you do," Rosalie said curtly, shaking the other woman's hand.

"Can I help you two? Are you looking for anything special?"

"So you work here?"

"Oh, no!" She smiled, as if such a lowly task was unthinkable for the likes of her. "The shop belongs to my sister. But her twins are sick, and Joham is at the gallery, so I said I'd help."

"You're Senna's sister," Rosalie exclaimed. "I should have guessed that; you look like her! Give her my love, will you?"

Before the women could start chatting, Edward cut in.

"You were saying something about a tallboy, Ro?"

A few minutes later, Zafrina showed them the piece, and while Rosalie looked at it from all sides, also inspecting its inside, Edward realized that he was pouting.

He should behave like a grown-up, not like a baby, he decided, and gave Zafrina a smile.

"Did you like the ballet the other day?"

"It was marvellous! Beautiful production. How did you and your girlfriend like it?"

Rosalie's head shot up, but she caught herself immediately.

"I think we should take it, Edward, what do you think?"

"Um, yeah. It's nice, I guess."

While Rosalie gave Zafrina the address and paid for the piece of furniture, Edward looked around the shop, but only to avoid any further talk about his _girlfriend_.

He wished he were allowed to call her that. He wasn't certain about her feelings. She seemed attracted, yes. But was there more than attraction? She'd been a little reserved since the incident at the ballet, and Edward feared that she was finally figuring him out. Realizing that he was too old, too broken, too difficult for her. That he wasn't worth it.

He was silent once they were back in the car, but Rosalie accepted that only for so long.

After a couple of minutes, she turned to him.

"Edward?"

"Yes?" He sighed.

"What was that about your _girlfriend_?"

"Would you accept if I said I don't want to talk about it?"

"No."

"I thought so." He sighed again. "It's… complicated."

"I have time."

"Do you remember that girl from you party, back in October?"

"Which girl?"

"The one I shouted at."

"The waitress? Yes."

Rosalie was silent for a moment, and then it sunk in.

"She? She's your girlfriend? Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"Because she's not my girlfriend. We're sort of seeing each other."

He swallowed. He would have loved to simply say yes.

"She must be much younger than you," Rosalie, predictably, remarked.

"Sixteen years," Edward mumbled.

"_What_?" Rosalie screeched. "She's _sixteen_? Are you fucking cra- "

"Jesus Christ, Ro!" Edward had barely avoided bumping into a van. "Of course she's not sixteen, what do you think of me? She's twenty-four."

"But why did you say sixteen?"

"Sixteen years! I meant she's sixteen _years younger_!"

Edward shook his head. Right now, he wanted nothing more than a double shot of – anything, really.

They had reached the McCarty's neighbourhood, and when Edward stopped in front of their house, he was not one bit surprised when his older sister announced that he was coming inside with her.

**oOo**

**Tomorrow's chapter will be the last for a few days – you know, Christmas and all.**

**Thank you all so much for your support. It means so, so much.**

**Hugs and kisses my darlings!**

**Your**

**harperpitt**

**PS: I posted a Christmas outtake for **_**Wake Up and Dream**_**, if you're interested.**


	65. Chapter 65

**oOo**

"Emmett!" Rosalie shouted once the door had closed behind her and Edward. "Emmett!"

Since there was no reply, she took a few of the steps leading upstairs and called again, taking off her coat at the same time.

"Can you please not make this a big drama?" Edward said.

"I'm not making it a drama! I'm happy for you!"

"Then can we just have tea and talk like normal people?" Edward looked at her. "Please?"

Rosalie considered it for a moment.

"Okay," she relented.

"Thank the Lord," Edward muttered as he followed her to the kitchen.

He sat down at the round wooden table by the window, and Rosalie joined him once she'd set up tea.

"Okay, so tell me."

Edward knew that his sister wouldn't let him get away without some information, and he knew that she was only well meaning.

"After my horrible behaviour the night of your party, I met her queuing up in Boots. We talked for a bit, and then went to have a sandwich, and then for a walk."

"I'm surprised she talked to you after the party," Rosalie quipped drily. She got up to prepare the tea. "_And_ I'm surprised you even remembered her."

"I know, right?" Edward felt himself get excited.

He was such a goner. Talking about his non-girlfriend to his sister was the highlight of his day.

"So you went for a walk?" Rosalie gestured for him to continue.

"And we talked all the time, and, Ro, I felt so… relaxed with her. I know… I know she's younger, but she's very, very mature, and intelligent, and well read. She studies Linguistics at Westminster. She loves dogs. She's funny, and she doesn't take any bullshit, and she has the cutest little flat."

"You've been to her house?"

"Um, yeah?" Edward drummed his fingers on the table.

"So… You see each other regularly?"

Edward nodded.

"And you took her to the ballet?"

"She used to be a dancer," Edward smiled.

"But she's not your girlfriend?"

He shrugged.

"No."

"But you want her to be," Rosalie stated.

"Yes," he whispered, staring at the polished wood of the table.

Edward almost had a heart attack when Rosalie jumped up, ran to the open door and yelled, "Emmett! Emmet, get your arse down here!"

Edward dropped his head on the table, but despite the gesture, he smiled.

"What is it, honeybee?"

Emmett appeared after a minute. He was still in sweatpants and a T-shirt. He was always wearing those funny T-shirts. This one said _I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done._

Emmett was almost seven years younger than Rosalie, and judging by the way he kissed her in greeting, Edward assumed that their marriage was still flourishing. Their wedding had been the year after Irina's death, and since Edward had pretty much been out of everything at the time, he didn't know Emmett all too well, but he liked him.

"Hey, Edward. Why is Rosie screaming like that?"

"Edward found a girl," Rosalie stage-whispered. "And he doesn't want to admit it, but I think he's smitten!"

"Ro," Edward groaned, feeling like a teenager.

And if he was honest, it felt damn good.

**oOo**

**Dearest readers, this will be the last chapter before the holidays. I'll resume posting on the 28****th****.**

**Thank you for the support you've given this story – I can't say it often enough: I couldn't do it without you! Each and every one of your reviews, be it a smiley, a quick "nice" or a catalogue of questions – you make me do this. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart.**

**Have a wonderful Christmas; see you in a few!**

**xoxo **

**Your **

**harperpitt**


	66. Chapter 66

**Hello, my lovelies; I'm back! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!**

**oOo**

By the end of the second week of December, Bella was exhausted. Her cold still wasn't completely gone, an irritating cough remaining. She had been working for Jasper on Friday and Saturday, ignoring the concerns both her mum and Edward voiced. It was almost funny how these two often shared opinions.

Schoolwork was finally slowing down, giving Bella time to work on some handmade Christmas presents. Up to now, she had no idea what to give to Edward.

She's bought a frame for his drawing – albeit a cheap one – and it was now on her bedside table. She looked at it every night before she went to sleep, and every morning after she'd woken.

She loved it. It was such a tender expression of… was it an expression of his feelings?

Bella groaned. She was slowly going crazy from all the thinking and analyzing.

It was Sunday morning and she'd just finished her shower. She would have liked to crawl back into bed, but she was also looking forward to lunch with the family. Wrapped into her fluffy bathrobe, she grabbed the teapot and a mug and settled on the couch. Edward had sent her a message earlier, saying that he was looking forward to seeing her tonight. She'd agreed to drop by at his place after her family time despite her general tiredness.

It was as if her whole body, her whole being, was hungering for warmth, for comfort, and rest.

.

Once again, Grandma Marie and Paul had joined the Swans for lunch. Jackie had finally decided to take steps to find out where she could study fashion design, and since Paul had inspired Jackie to achieve her new goal, Charles and Renee were more than happy to invite him for their traditional Boxing Day dinner, which included many old and new friends of the family.

"You know," Charles said over their game of Rummy, rubbing his moustache, "if you want, you're of course welcome to bring your… Edward."

Bella's eyes shot up.

Was she really that easy to read?

Well, to her dad, yes.

"Thanks, Daddy. I'll ask him. But I don't know if… I don't know."

"You think he'd decline?"

"That's not what I meant. He's… He's been through a lot lately. I'd love him to come, of course. Just, um, don't be disappointed if he won't. Also, he has his own parents and… his sister, I guess, so…."

Bella wanted to hit her head on the table.

"Just ask him over, why don't you?" Jackie called from the couch, where she was smooching shamelessly with Paul.

"Shut up!" Bella shouted in response.

And that was a big mistake, because it allowed Charles to cheat really big, and for the first time in ages, he won.

.

Bella was nervous as she made her way to Edward's house.

She wanted to ask him, of course she did. She had no idea what he'd say. But she was hoping, hoping from the bottom of her heart, that he'd accept. That the fact she was opening up to him, that her family was ready to welcome him, might pull him out of his shell.

That it might finally show him how much he meant to her.

**oOo**


	67. Chapter 67

**oOo**

Edward was getting everything ready for Bella's arrival.

Mistletoe? Check.

Champagne in cooler? Check.

Candles, flowers, music? Check.

He ran a hand through his hair and scratched his ear.

Something was missing, but he wasn't sure what it was.

And then, the doorbell rang and he ran to answer it, and then Bella was in front of him, and he was just happy to see her.

"Hi," he smiled.

"Hi."

Never entirely sure on the correct way of greeting her, he placed a light kiss on her lips. Which felt fantastic.

"Come in."

He took her coat, and entwined their fingers as they walked to the living room.

Originally, he'd planned everything for the dining room, but he'd thought better of it, since there would be no dining. Bella'd come from lunch with her family, and he knew her well enough by now.

"Wow," Bella said. "You made this so… cosy."

"I did?"

"Of course! The… the flowers, and the candles…"

Her smile was beatific.

"Take a seat," he said. "Would you like a glass of champagne?"

"Yes, thank you."

"You look lovely."

"Thank you."

Bella smiled. She looked enchanting in a simple black cardigan, a grey T-shirt, and jeans.

Edward handed her a glass of champagne.

"To… to us?"

Her answering smile was brighter than the lights on the giant Christmas tree in Trafalgar Square.

"Did you have a nice lunch with your family?"

"Yes. Jackie has finally decided that she wants to study fashion design."

"That's great," he said.

Bella had told him about her sister's problems in finding out which path she wanted to take in life.

Smiling, he took Bella's hand. Her hands always felt wonderfully soft and delicate.

"What have you been doing all day?" she asked.

"I worked."

"Are you ever going to show me what you're working on?"

"Of course. Just… not yet, okay?"

"Okay."

He took another sip of champagne.

"What are you and your family doing for Christmas?" she asked.

He'd been thinking about the holidays ahead. Christmas hadn't exactly been easy for him over the last five years. He'd been a very good customer of his favourite beverage between Christmas and New Year's.

"We all meet at my parents' and exchange presents and stuff ourselves with turkey and pudding," he said.

And he got stinking drunk. Well, maybe he'd manage to keep it on an okay level this year.

"What do you do?"

Bella smiled. She tugged one leg underneath her body.

"On Christmas Eve, we usually decorate the tree and have eggnog and dinner together. On Christmas Day, we open presents in the afternoon, and then there's more dinner." She rolled her eyes. "And on Boxing Day, my parents always have a party for family and friends."

"That's nice," he said. "So you'll be quite occupied, huh?" He drummed his fingers on the table. "Guess I won't get to see you then."

"Actually," she said, suddenly getting rather shy, "I wanted to talk to you about that."

He raised his eyebrow flirtatiously.

"How so?"

"I… My family and I, we'd like you to join us on Boxing Day." Her smile made a reappearance.

For a second, Edward couldn't breathe.

**oOo**

**Thank you all so much for your reviews for the last chapter. I'm sorry I didn't get to reply, but I read and cherish each and every one!**

**xoxo**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	68. Chapter 68

**Okay guys. Time to fasten the seatbelts…**

**oOo**

For a moment, Edward just stared at her, his green eyes wide, reminding her of a deer in headlights.

"Edward?"

"I…" He rubbed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm not sure that's such a good idea, Bella," he finally said.

Her heart sank.

"You… you think it's too early?"

She tried to mask the tremble in her voice.

Edward was silent. He finished his glass of champagne and poured another one.

"Don't." She reached out for him and, gently, placed her hand on his forearm.

"Don't what?" He looked up.

"Don't get drunk," she whispered tonelessly.

"You think it's that easy, Bella? You think that's the solution? _Don't get drunk_? Seriously?"

He stood up and crossed the room, downing another glass and placing it on the mantelpiece. He reminded her of a tiger pacing in its cage.

"Because_ I_ know that's not the solution. _I _know that this," he pointed at the empty glass, "is the only thing that makes it stop."

"Makes what stop?" she asked in a low, bland voice.

She'd never seen him like that.

"The thoughts. The pain. The memories."

"Edward." She got up as well, and took a few steps in his direction. "There are people… People who can help…"

"You know I went into therapy. Yes, it helped. But no therapist in the world can make that night unhappen."

She swallowed.

If only she could take some of the pain from him.

She took another step toward him. She stretched out her hand.

"Please, Edward. Please."

"Please what?"

His voice was sharp now.

"What do you know, Bella? What is your experience of life? Of death?"

"I don't know a lot about death," she said, "but I know a few things about life."

He was shaking his head, crossing the room again to get back to the bottle, refilling his glass.

And slowly but surely, Bella was getting angry.

He was a grown man of forty, for fuck's sake, not an immature teenager, and his self-pity was pissing her off. Still, she tried to remain calm.

"Oh, you do?" he asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He drank the champagne as if it were water.

"Yes. I do. And I can understand how hurt and scared and sad you are. But you know what? I'm not even sure that you _want_ to get better. I think you quite enjoy wallowing. Or maybe you believe that it helps your art. I don't know."

Her words seemed to have touched a nerve, because his face changed from half-drunken cynicism to hopeless fatigue.

"I thought you were my friend."

And that was the breaking point for Bella. She'd been patient for the longest time.

"Am I, Edward? Am I your _friend_? Because I don't know anymore what we are. _Friends_ go to family Christmas parties of their friends. _Friends_ don't insult each other. _Friends_ let their friends help them. They open up. They talk." By now, angry tears were coursing down her cheeks. "I can tell you what friends do not do, Edward: they don't kiss the way we do. They don't hold hands, and they don't whisper sweet words."

"Bella…"

Her words had clearly hit home.

He was practically crumbling in front of her.

"I can't do this anymore, Edward."

**oOo**

**Um, yeah… But they had it coming? See you tomorrow!**

**xoxo**


	69. Chapter 69

**oOo**

"Bella," he called after her, but it was too late.

She had left.

The one good, perfect thing that had happened in his life in five years, and he had just destroyed it, as clearly as if he had done it with his own hands.

He sat down on the couch with his face in his hands, trying to proceed what had just happened.

Bella had asked him to join her and her family for their annual Christmas party, and like an asshole, he had hedged. He had yammered and whined and, like she'd said, wallowed in self-pity.

He couldn't even begin to imagine how much courage it must have cost her to take that step. He'd been holding her at arm's length all this time, not seeing how insecure it must have made her.

Even the incident with Zafrina at the ballet hadn't been enough for him to pull his head out of his arse.

He'd been so insensitive and selfish.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Edward whispered.

Irina would not come back.

He had loved her, and she had died, and she would always be a part of his life. But Bella was right.

Did he even want to get better?

He never felt that he deserved to be better, to be happy again.

Because what had happened was partly his fault, and because… because…

Edward got up, walked to the kitchen and opened the pantry door. He grabbed the bottle of Glenlivet.

.

.

.

It had been dark when he'd conked out, and it was dark when he woke again.

His whole body hurt.

Where was he?

Oh, God.

Blue tiles.

The bathroom floor.

He crawled the few feet to the toilet, and was sick again.

.

Something was beeping somewhere. Edward opened his left eye.

At least he'd made it to his bed.

One o'clock.

A.m. or p.m.?

If only his head would stop aching.

.

"_Don't do this," she murmurs gently._

"_I can't…"_

_It's all he's able to say._

"_Yes, darling. You can. I know you. You're so much stronger than you know."_

"_But…"_

"_Shhh… Sleep. Everything will look better tomorrow…"_

.

Edward had located a pizza in the freezer and took a shower while it was in the oven.

He'd already had a bottle of Sprite and three aspirin.

He put on jeans and a T-shirt.

He watched the news while he ate his pizza.

He checked his phone.

Three missed calls. One from his agent, two from his sister.

Nothing from Bella.

He changed the bed sheets and went back to sleep.

.

Edward worked all day next day – Wednesday – and only went to bed at three in the morning. He worked the next day as well. By the time it got dark, he was frenzied.

He'd lost her.

He'd lost Bella.

.

Edward slammed the car door shut behind him.

The lights were on in her bay window.

He hadn't prayed in five years.

**oOo**

**Thank you so much for all the support you have shown me for this story, as well as for my other ones. I wouldn't be able to do it without you, and I'm incredibly grateful for having such wonderful, kind readers.**

**Have a happy and healthy 2013, here's a big hug for each and every one of you!**

**xoxo**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	70. Chapter 70

**oOo**

At first Bella had cried. For one night, and one day.

Today, she was merely tired of crying.

Bella had learned one lesson rather early in life: no one, not your parents, not your boyfriend,_ no one_, can save you if you don't want to be saved.

So it's up to you.

Whether you want to live or die, smile or cry… or just wallow in self-pity, like Edward.

Fuck him.

She'd had it.

She was done.

Furiously scrubbing her kitchen sink, Bella repeated this mantra.

It had been four days since she'd last heard from Edward. She considered them done.

She was done.

She'd worked for Jasper two times, and had even mentioned that she had stopped seeing Edward.

"I'm afraid you were right," she'd told him. "He's a jerk."

Instead of saying, "I told you so," Jasper had been a true friend and had hugged her.

Leah had come over last night. They'd had too much Bailey's and Bella had told her the whole story. Her friend, of course, agreed. She was better off without him.

She had also called her parents and told them that she wasn't bringing anyone for their Boxing Day party.

Today was Bella's cleaning day before Christmas. All her presents were ready and wrapped, the ingredients for her cookies were bought, and her flat was shiny and proper.

Edward's present was in her sock drawer. She couldn't bear to throw it away: it had taken so much time to make it.

Now, she was looking forward to a hot bath to clear the grime off herself, following it with her annual marathon of _My Fair Lady_, _Mary Poppins_ and _Hello, Dolly!_

She was running her bath, humming "Wouldn't It Be Loverly" to herself, when a sound made her jump.

The doorbell.

Hmm.

She definitely wasn't expecting anyone, so she decided to ignore it. But it rang again, and again.

She turned the water tap off and went to the door.

"Yes? Who is it?"

"It's Edward."

Her heartbeat sped up immediately.

"Bella?"

"What can I do for you?"

"Can I see you? Just for a minute? Please?"

It reminded her of the first time he'd come over.

"Are you drunk?"

"No. _No_."

She bit her lip.

She wanted to see him, she wanted to believe that everything would be okay.

But she didn't want to be hurt again.

"Okay. For a minute."

She pressed the button that would let him in.

**oOo**

**Happy new year!**


	71. Chapter 71

**oOo**

He looked tired, grey smudges under his eyes, his hair its usual mess. He looked as if he'd come spontaneously. His coat was open, and he was wearing jeans with splodges of paint and a flannel shirt.

"Bella."

His eyes were wide and alive, and full of uncertainty.

She crossed her arms in front of her chest, wishing she were dressed in something prettier than her grimy yoga pants and shirt she'd worn cleaning.

"Bella. I'm so, so sorry. I don't know… My behaviour was unforgivable."

"Come on in."

He followed her and she gestured to the loveseat. Never taking off his coat, he sat down.

Bella didn't sit.

"I don't know how I can help you, Edward."

The words left a bitter aftertaste, but she didn't know what else to say.

"Please say I haven't ruined it," he whispered. "Please. I couldn't take that."

"I don't even know what you want from me, Edward. Friendship?" She shook her head. It hurt to say it, and it hurt to look at him. "I don't know…" She swallowed. "To be serious, I don't know if I can do that."

His eyes shot up, devastated.

"Because… because of my drinking?"

"No, not because of that. I was getting the impression that you were doing better. Weren't you?"

He avoided her eyes, but nodded.

"I was," he murmured.

They were silent for a moment.

"Then what is it?" he finally asked. "Why can't you be friends with me, Bella?"

"Because… Because I don't think that it would be enough. For me."

She bit her lip and looked away.

"Bella," he whispered. He stretched out his pinkie finger and touched hers, and that gesture broke her heart.

A big tear rolled down her cheek.

She told herself to be strong. She was a big girl.

"Bella, Bella…"

He wrapped his pinkie around hers and pulled her closer, until she sat down next to him. The warmth from his body was unbearably comforting.

"Bella, I don't just want friendship from you," he murmured in a thick voice. "I thought that was clear?"

"I guess so," she shrugged, staring down at their entwined fingers. She looked up at him. "But what _do_ you want, Edward? Because I'm not the right person for an affair, or a no-strings-attached thing." She shook her head. "I did that once, and that sort of thing just won't work for me." She wiped away another tear with her free hand. "Of course I realize that you're physically attracted to me on some level, and that you want something more than friendship. But –"

"But?"

"But I need more than that, Edward. I need commitment."

"There's no one else," he started saying passionately. "Is that what you're thinking?"

"No! No, you're not that type, are you?"

He shook his head, a deep crease between his eyebrows. His expression was tender, and lost, and made her chest ache.

"But you… you're not letting me in," she finally said. "Not ever. Not one bit."

"I know," he whispered tonelessly. "I know."

He gave her hand a little squeeze.

A tear landed on it, and this time, it did not come from her eyes.

**oOo**

**Thank you for reading.**


	72. Chapter 72

**Thank you for the wonderful and sweet reviews! Each and every one makes me smile so big.**

**I think you will like this**_** weekend's**_** chapters. Just saying…**

**oOo**

"Why don't you take off your coat?"

"Huh? Um, yeah."

He took it off and placed it over the armrest.

"You know what hurt me the most? It wasn't what you said."

His eyes grew wide.

"It was that you wouldn't even agree to join my family and me for our party. You would have been welcome there as a friend, you know. Not as my… anything. But even that seemed to be asking too much from you."

He closed his eyes.

Bella wanted to cry again. There was so much, and he was not willing, or not able, to share himself. Maybe painting was the only way he could open up?

She wondered whether he'd always been this way, or if he had become like that after his wife's death.

They were silent for a long time.

When he finally spoke, his voice was low.

"If I let you in," he said, pausing for a moment. "If I let you in, it gives you the power to hurt me. I mean you already have that power. I realized that I might have destroyed the one good thing in my life, and that made me come over. If you'd said you never wanted to see me again…" He trailed off.

Bella took his hand in hers.

"If I open up to you," he began again, "and then you leave me… in whichever way… I couldn't live with that, Bella."

"Oh, Edward."

"And at the same time, I have this deep-rooted belief that I will destroy anything good in my life, anyway. Like I'm jinxed, or something."

"Why? Why do you believe that?"

"Because what happened… what happened to Irina… It was my fault."

He took a stuttering breath.

"How was it your fault, Edward?"

"You'll run away if I tell you."

"No," Bella said firmly. "Look at me, Edward."

After a moment, he did. His eyes were moist and he looked more vulnerable than she'd ever seen him.

"I am not going to go anywhere, Edward." She shook her head. "I'm not. Okay?"

"Okay."

He stared at his hands.

Such beautiful, delicate hands. Long fingers with more splodges of blue and green and brown.

"It was our tenth wedding anniversary," he began. "Irina had gone to Brighton to prepare an exhibition of her photographs. That's what she did," he added. "She was a photographer. She was very excited about everything, because it would be bigger than anything she'd done. She was overseeing the hanging of the pictures that… that day."

He swallowed.

"I bought flowers and champagne that day," he continued. "And I ordered her favourite dinner for that night. It was early in May, but the weather was horrible. She called at around seven and said that they hadn't finished work, and that she was considering spending the night there. There'd been a storm warning, and the rain was getting heavier all the time.

"I knew how she hated driving at night, and in the rain, too. She hated driving, full stop. I should have offered to go with her." He stopped, running his hands over his face. "But I didn't. Instead, I sweet-talked her into returning, saying that it was our anniversary, and that I'd ordered dinner. I was such a selfish bastard."

Bella listened quietly. She felt awful, because she already knew the end of the story due to her trip to Wikipedia, yet she put him through telling her everything.

She took his hand.

"She finally agreed to come home."

At that, his voice broke and a sob escaped his throat.

"I waited and waited. I called her mobile phone, but there was no signal. I was getting crazy with worry. I called the gallery owner in Brighton, but he'd left before her because of the storm. She'd still been working, he said. By the time I was ready to call the hospitals in Brighton, the police was at our door."

He was crying, burying his face in his hands.

"There'd been a car crash. She'd lost control in the rainstorm and…"

Bella placed her hand on his back.

His sobs became even harder.

"It was my fault. My fault…"

**oOo**


	73. Chapter 73

**oOo**

"It was not your fault, Edward," she said, rubbing his back. "It was not your fault."

"It was," he sobbed. "If I hadn't been so selfish and asked her to come home, it wouldn't have happened."

"You wanted to be with her on your anniversary. That's natural, not selfish."

"If I had gone with her…"

His hiccups were garbling his words. It broke Bella's heart to see him like that. She hugged his huddled form, wrapping her arms around him from behind, placing her face against his back. She could feel each of his sobs.

"If… if I hadn't…"

"It's not your fault, Edward," she kept repeating. "It's not your fault."

"She probably… died instantly… they said… due to her injuries, and the trauma to her head… If only…"

"It's not your fault. Not your fault."

She rubbed his upper arms and his shoulders, and finally his neck.

"It's not your fault."

The tips of his hair were soft against her fingers.

"It's not your fault."

On and on she went, soothing and quiet, until his sobs receded and she felt him relax a little.

He sniffled and Bella left his side for a second to get him a box of tissues. Unsure whether he wanted her near now he seemed calmer, she sat back next to him.

He blew his nose and wiped his eyes.

He looked at her. His eyes were red and swollen, and his cheeks were blotchy.

"Don't go," he murmured.

So she hugged him again, and he placed his arms around her as well, burying his face in her neck.

"Thank you," he whispered. "I'm sorry."

"Don't say that," she replied softly. She kissed his forehead. "It's okay."

They were quiet for a long time. Edward's breathing returned to normal. She stroked his hair.

She tried to understand what he'd been through. He always thought the worst about himself, that he was fucking everything up, that he was doomed, that he was selfish.

She thought that he was stronger than he knew. He'd found his own strategies to cope. Maybe not the best ones,_ surely_ not the best ones, as far as the drinking was concerned. But he was struggling through every day, and he _was_ trying to be better, she realized.

"I had to go and identify her," Edward mumbled against her neck, his breath caressing her. "Her family arrived two days later. They blamed me. They'd been blaming me for everything that went bad, or not the way they wanted, anyway. I haven't seen her parents since her funeral. Kate and Tanya come over every year for her birthday."

"That's… very thoughtful."

"No. After her death, there was a small boom about her photographs. An artist who'd died early, and all that. It was forced very much by her sisters. They wanted full control over her legacy. Irina had actually named them as co-heiresses to her work in her testament, so we three share the rights to it." He shrugged sadly. "I would gladly give it to them if I could be sure they wouldn't exploit her name and work."

Bella was silent. She had no idea what to say, and for a moment, she really felt like a little girl who knew nothing about the world.

"I'm sorry," Edward repeated.

"It's okay."

"I'm so tired."

"I'm tired too. Let's sleep, okay? And talk more in the morning."

He looked up, so close that their noses almost touched.

"Okay. Thank you, Bella. Beautiful Bella."

**oOo**

**Thank you for reading.**


	74. Chapter 74

**oOo**

Bella equipped him with a spare toothbrush and a towel once she returned from the bathroom.

It was clearly a girl's bathroom, filled with bottles and lotions and pink stuff. The air was steamy from the shower Bella had taken.

Edward brushed his teeth and splashed his face with cold water. He looked awful, and he didn't even want to know what Bella thought of him now. Well, actually, he did.

He shook his head at his reflection in the mirror.

He should be embarrassed, he guessed, for crying like a baby. But Bella hadn't given him the impression that she thought less of him because of it.

And he felt lighter than he had in a long time.

Lighter, light-headed, and thoroughly tired.

He pulled off his jeans and flannel, leaving him in boxers and T-shirt.

He wondered where he'd sleep.

She'd made it clear that she wasn't one for any funny business, not that his thoughts were headed that direction.

Bella was too precious. She deserved nothing but courtesy and respect and honesty and care and… love.

Had he shown her any of that? He'd made her feel like second best, like a distraction. He'd kept glorifying Irina and had taken Bella for granted. When in reality, she'd been the greatest gift he could ever hope to receive. Even with his assoholic behaviour, she hadn't dumped him, but patiently borne his tumults and tantrums.

That just would not do anymore.

Edward opened the door.

Bella had dimmed the light in her room. Her bed was behind a pale blue curtain, and he could see a lamp glow behind it.

"Bella?" he said softly.

The curtain was pulled to the side, revealing her, sitting up in bed with a book.

"Hey," she smiled.

"Hey." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Um, where do you want me to…"

She patted the empty space next to her.

"Are… Are you sure?"

"Well, where would you like to sleep, Edward? The bathtub?"

"No." He laughed hoarsely before he followed her invitation.

God, her sheets felt amazing, all soft and smooth.

She smiled at him. She'd pulled her hair into a ponytail. She was wearing a very oversized white T-shirt. Even with the distance between them, she smelled wonderful; all clean and girly.

"Do I need to set the alarm for tomorrow?" she asked.

He shook his head, and she grinned.

"Great! I don't need to go anywhere, either." She stretched her arms.

Edward may have cried on her like a baby, but the fact was, he _was_ a man. And the way her full breasts, clearly braless, looked under that shirt…

He cleared his throat.

"D'you want a book?" she asked, as if it were completely natural that he was next to her, in her bed.

"No." He shook his head. "Thank you."

He pulled the sheets over his shoulder and turned to his side.

He watched her as she read, the warm light from the lamp making her hair shimmer like a chestnut.

Like that chestnut she'd given him, the day of their walk…

He still had it. It was on his bedside table.

His eyes were drooping.

The sound of paper as she turned the pages was soothing.

At some point, there was a low sound, and it became dark, but Edward hardly noticed it.

He was carried away on soft clouds.

**oOo**


	75. Chapter 75

**oOo**

Edward woke to a sensation of softness and warmth.

He didn't open his eyes, wanting to enjoy the moment a little longer until he needed to get back to reality.

Because it was gorgeous. As if he was wrapped in cotton and security, in comfort and glorious silence.

He hadn't woken this relaxed and rested in years.

Blinking, Edward realized that he wasn't dreaming, or still half asleep.

He was awake.

He was awake, with Bella in his arms. Her back was to his front, and his arms were around her slight body. Her hand was covering his. One of her feet was between his calves.

She was breathing evenly, her dark ponytail splayed over the pillow.

Maybe he had died during the night, and this was heaven?

Edward thought back to what had happened before they'd gone to sleep. All he could remember was intense exhaustion, and the rustle of paper as she turned the pages of her book.

Edward smiled, and shut his eyes.

When he opened them again again, minutes or hours later, Bella had turned in his arms, and she was smiling at him.

"Good morning," she whispered.

"Um, good morning." He rubbed his eyes. "What time is it?"

Not that it mattered, there was nowhere he needed to go, and no place he'd rather be than right here, right now.

"Half past nine." She tickled his chin. "Did you sleep well?"

"Mmm-hmm. You?"

"Very well." She moved closer and placed her head against his chest, right under his chin.

Edward wrapped his arm around her. She felt tiny and fragile, but he wasn't fooled by that anymore. He knew that she was strong. Strong and wise and warm-hearted.

He buried his face in her warm hair.

She smelled like cream and roses.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"Can… can we spend the day together?"

She giggled, and the vibration was delicious.

"Of course," she mumbled against his neck.

.

They had a perfect day.

While Edward was in the shower, Bella made breakfast, which they had in bed. They watched _My Fair Lady_, apparently because there was a rule that Bella had to see that movie a few days before Christmas, and he'd kept her from it last night.

She had put on sweatpants and a T-shirt and placed her head on Edward's chest at some point. Again, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Edward put his arm around her shoulder and kissed her temple, and he could feel her lips pull up into a smile.

In the afternoon, they went shopping for groceries. Hand-in-hand, they strolled through the aisles of Sainsbury's. Bella placed fruit and vegetables and yoghurt into the cart, and Edward added bread, cheese and eggs.

Once back at her place, Bella made tea and they sat on the sofa with a Christmas CD playing in the background.

"Are you okay?" she asked, surprising him.

"Yes. Yes, of course I'm okay. Isn't that…" He stopped when he saw her bite her lip. He took her hands in his. "I'm not very easy to read, am I?" He sighed deeply. "I know… I know we should, we _have_ to talk more about… everything. But right now… all I want to do is sit here with you. It's so peaceful. I know I tend to close up…"

"Yes." But she smiled.

"You need to, I don't know. You need to remind me. Prod me."

"Prod you?"

"Yeah." He lightly prodded her side. He could feel every single one of her ribs. He tried not to show his distress. "Yes. Like that?"

Bella giggled.

"You want me to prod you like that?" She reached out and did the same to him, only much harder than he'd done.

It tickled.

"I was speaking figuratively," Edward laughed, "but, yes."

"Okay." She smiled. "I'll prod you, Edward Cullen."

And then, she snuggled up to his side.

**oOo**

**Thank you for your beautiful reviews. Please keep telling me what you think – it really helps me developing this story.**

**I know our Edward is giving all of us whiplash right now, and I can promise you that the road ahead of those two will be bumpy for quite a while – that's why they deserve a bit of fluff every now and then.**

**Hugs and kisses my lovely, lovely readers!**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	76. Chapter 76

**oOo**

She had never seen Edward so relaxed, so easy-going. She'd been worried that he might regret telling her what he'd told her last night, but apparently, it had been libratory for him.

And she was now responsible for prodding him whenever he closed up.

She could do that.

She thought.

Well, she tried to think.

Which was not exactly easy.

Because Edward was kissing her.

And he was serious about it.

It seemed as if he wanted to prove to her that he was in it for real. His lips were proving it. His tongue joined in. His teeth, his fingers, his breath, all were out on a mission.

It was tender, and it was hot.

The way he tasted, the way he smelled.

He was passionate and careful at the same time.

His hands strayed to the sides of her breasts, but never further.

They were panting for air by the time Bella was straddling him on the loveseat, feeling that other parts of his body were trying to prove something, as well. One part, in particular.

"Bella," he mumbled between kisses. "Bella…"

"Hmm…"

"You're so beautiful." He kissed the side of her neck, which made her sigh. "And you feel so good, baby… But… can we… can we slow down?"

For a second, it was as if he'd emptied an ice bucket over her, but Edward pulled her closer, as close as humanly possible, and put his face on her chest.

"Not because I don't want to, because… I _want _to, believe me, I do."

"Yeah." She made one tiny move against him, and he groaned. "I believe you."

He kissed her again, sweet, full lips moulding with hers.

.

Later, when they'd finally stopped kissing and were making dinner, Bella realized that Edward just needed to talk more.

She could do that, as well.

And it wasn't awkward at all. He told Bella a little about the intricate relationship Irina had had with her sisters, and the difficulties with her parents when she'd decided to stay in Europe for good.

He didn't go into any of it deeply, but it was good to have the pink suede elephant out of the room. Bella felt much better now that he'd told her the truth.

It was Edward who ultimately changed the subject, asking Bella what he could do to help with their dinner.

"Can you stir the pasta again?" she said, looking up from her cutting board.

"Sure."

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

They looked at each other.

She smiled, stood on her tiptoes, and kissed him.

"Good that you're here."

.

After dinner, they settled down to watch _Hello, Dolly!_

Edward had never seen it, and they were laughing all the time, making fun of the costumes, the dialogue, and themselves.

They had opened a bottle of wine, and Bella had one glass and Edward two.

She'd asked him earlier whether he wanted to spend the night, and his large smile had been enough to answer her question.

They went to bed around midnight. Tonight, there was no shyness.

They snuggled up to each other, shared tender kisses, and fell asleep in each other's arms.

**oOo**

**Thank you all so much for your ongoing support. Words cannot express how much it means to me.**


	77. Chapter 77

**oOo**

Bella was fast asleep in his arms, but Edward couldn't find any rest.

For one thing, he was all riled up after kissing her for hours and hours.

The other thing was his mind, where his thoughts were racing to and fro.

He knew that he could not stay with Bella indefinitely. Actually, he would have to go home tomorrow if only for the fact that he had been wearing those boxers… _ugh_… far too long.

But that wasn't the point.

He needed to do something about the whole situation. For one night and one day they'd pretended that everything was fine, and normal.

They had acted like a couple.

But they were not. A couple. Not yet.

And Edward wasn't happy about the fact.

Bella had already invested so much into their relationship, she'd put herself out there and he'd done so little to make her feel as revered, as cherished, as she deserved.

He would change that.

Bella twitched in her sleep, startling him. She mumbled something unintelligible.

He kissed her temple, and she calmed immediately.

He inhaled her scent once again, and finally, finally, he became drowsy.

.

"Hey." She smiled. "Good morning."

Edward had to face facts. Bella was a morning person.

"Hey," he muttered groggily.

She kissed his cheek and darted out of bed.

He listened to the sounds. Her bare feet pattering to the bathroom. The sound of the toilet flushing. The tap being turned on. Gargling. The shower.

Edward swallowed.

He tried to go back to sleep.

The scent of coffee was wafting over to him.

He opened his eyes again, and remembered that, at one point during the night, he had come to a decision.

"Hello!" She was smiling when he showed up in her small kitchen after he'd showered and dressed, once again, in his grubby jeans and shirt.

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

She handed him a cup of coffee.

"Thanks. You know, I need to go home today…"

She nodded.

"Yeah. We couldn't stay in our little bubble forever," she said sadly.

"Can't we?" He cocked his head.

Bella shrugged. She looked quite lost in her enormous knitted pullover. It had a reindeer on the front, which Edward noticed only now, and which made him fondly shake his head.

"This?" She gestured to it.

"Mmm."

"Jackie made it."

"She must have quite a… _different _sense of fashion…"

Bella pursed her lips, looking up at him with huge, round, dark eyes.

"What I meant was that I need to go home primarily because I need to change my clothes. You're aware that meanwhile, it's Saturday, are you?"

"And you normally change your clothes on Saturday?" She smiled impishly.

"You're silly." He twirled a strand of her hair around his finger. "You know what I mean."

He cleared his throat. They'd become so close over the last two days, and yet he felt shy asking her.

He took her hands in his.

"Bella, do you… do you think your parents could accommodate another guest at their party?"

Her eyes became even larger.

"Like… like your boyfriend?"

**oOo**

**Woo-hoo! E and B, sitting in a tree…**


	78. Chapter 78

**oOo**

Bella stared at him.

"You… Are you serious? Are you sure? You… you want this?"

She gestured between them.

He nodded imperceptibly, green eyes sparkling with relief.

"And you…" She bit her lip, and felt her cheeks get warm. "I mean… I mean, we haven't even…"

"Bella."

He let go of her hands and pulled her close, swiping her hair back over her shoulders.

He passed his knuckles over her cheek, and she leant into his touch.

His voice was low, like velvet and sandpaper, when he spoke.

"I'm falling in love with you, Bella."

And for once, Bella Swan was speechless.

She stared at him, unable to make a sound. Her limbs felt quite wobbly. In stark contrast, her heart was beating a wild tattoo.

"Bella?"

A tiny crease between his eyebrows.

"Bella? Could you… Can you please say something?"

The slight panic in his voice finally pulled her out of her haze.

His eyes were clearly asking a question that seemed to come straight from his heart.

"Yes," she said.

"Yes?"

A tiny lopsided smile.

"Yes. Yes, I want to be your girlfriend." She twined her arms around his neck. "Yes, I'm in love with you too."

"You are?"

"Of course, silly."

And with that, she pressed her lips to his and they kissed like they had never kissed before. It was soft and slow, and filled with the promise of things to come, and with love.

"I was such a fool," he whispered against her lips, "to not have realized earlier…"

"Mmm…" She pulled his lower lip between hers and closed her eyes again.

He was deliciously stubbly, and she knew her mouth would be red and itchy, but she couldn't have cared less.

Her fingers caressed the hair at the back of his neck. So soft.

She couldn't remember everything feeling so right.

His arms around her, his lips, his tongue, everything seemed as if it was meant to be exactly this way. So close.

She knew that they still had some serious talking to do, but she trusted Edward, and she was all right with them moving at their own pace. Some sixth sense told her that their connection was real.

Things weren't perfect, but they were moving forward. And now, they were doing it _together_.

"Are you coming with me?" Edward murmured against her lips.

"To your house?"

He chuckled, a sweet sound deep in his throat.

"I'd say _anywhere_ if it wasn't so corny. Yes, to my house." He pulled back a little bit. "Or did you have anything planned? I'm sorry, I shouldn't assume –"

"I'd like to come," she replied, nuzzling his nose with hers. "I'm not ready to let you go again…"

"You're not going to get rid of me for a long time," he whispered, and Bella's heart flip-flopped.

**oOo**

**You likey?**

**xoxo**

**your **

**harperpitt**


	79. Chapter 79

**oOo**

In the end, Edward left without Bella, saying that he had some errands to run. The way he said it, she was almost certain that he had not bought one Christmas present yet.

Since she had everything ready, she decided to give Leah a call and tell her the wonderful news.

Her friend wasn't quite as enthusiastic as Bella had hoped, and she was disappointed.

"Of course I'm happy for you," Leah said. "It's just, there's been so much shit going on. I'm not sure he's a very stable person, Bella, that's all. I don't want you to get hurt."

"But we talked, Leah!"

Bella was pacing her living room, plucking dead leaves off plants, patting pillows, placing all her shoes in one line.

She'd considered changing the bed sheets, but decided against it. She wanted to go to sleep with Edward's scent around her.

"He opened up to me in a way he's never done before. He told me about what happened with his wife."

"Did you sleep with him?"

"What's that got to do with it?" Bella said, irritated.

"I just want to make sure he's not telling you some pity-story to get you between the sheets," Leah said.

Bella was getting crabby.

"If you have to know, yes, he got me between the sheets, but no, there was no sex. We didn't even kiss that night. But you will probably use _that _against him, as well! Really, Leah. Why can't you believe that I'm right? That he's a good, honest person?"

"I believe you," Leah defended herself. "Just be careful, okay?"

"I hope you are referring to protection," Bella grumbled. "Anyway, you'll meet him. He's coming to our party."

"He is? As your…"

"As my boyfriend," Bella said, and her heart jumped with pride as she said the words. "And if you will excuse me now, I need to catch the tube to go to my _boyfriend'_s house. He's expecting me."

"Alright," Leah laughed. "Have fun, sweetheart. And _do_ use protection, okay?"

"Psh."

But Bella laughed too as the two friends said goodbye.

.

Edward was waiting for her at the front door of his house as she arrived a couple of hours later. He looked fresh and serene, dressed in jeans and a white button-down with the sleeves rolled up.

"Bella."

His arms went around her waist and he smiled happily, placing dozens of kisses on her lips, her nose, and cheeks.

"I missed you," he smiled, shutting the door behind her, helping her out of her coat.

"Missed you too."

For a few moments, they just beamed at each other. Edward pulled her close again, wrapping his arm around her waist as they walked to the living room.

"Did you get everything done?" she asked.

They sat down, and she noticed that he'd made tea. He had laid out lovely china with an intricate Victorian design. There was also a plate with cucumber sandwiches and one with strawberries.

"Almost," he replied. He kissed her cheek. "What did you do?"

"Nothing much. Talked to Leah on the phone."

"Is she going to be at your party?" he asked.

"Yes. Her parents and her brother are coming too, they are old family friends."

Edward didn't respond, and after a moment, she looked up at his profile. It was a breathtaking profile that you could cut glass with.

"What is it?"

She took his hand.

Edward looked at her with a very touching expression, shrugging lightly.

"I just can't believe you're here with me, Bella." He played with a strand of her hair.

"You'd better believe it," she smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck.

She started to kiss him, and what began as light and playful, soon turned into breathless and quite, quite serious.

**oOo**

**Thank you from the bottom of my heart to the overwhelming response to the last chapters! You guys are the very best!**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	80. Chapter 80

**oOo**

Edward couldn't get over how fragile and perfect Bella felt in his arms. He had often wondered how much – or little – she weighed. If she really was over her problems. She always made him want to wrap her in cotton wool and protect her, but he knew that it was a silly idea. She was so much stronger than he was. Maybe not physically, but on all other levels.

The way she had held him the other day, when he'd bared his heart to her. Not one word of doubt, no blame. Just sheer, unconditional warmth and understanding.

Her hair was so silky, and it smelled so good that he had to bury his nose in it. Oh, and the way her breasts felt, pressed against his chest? Almost made him lose his mind.

He had no idea how fast they would, or should, move physically.

His body wanted to rush. Well, maybe not rush, exactly. It wasn't as if they'd only just met.

He didn't know how far Bella wanted to go. She was passionate in her kisses, and since yesterday, her hands would roam his back under his shirt, and of course, there'd been that glorious moment when she'd straddled him on her sofa, and had moved against him, and he'd almost come in his pants.

The last time Edward had sex was a year ago. He'd been in New York for a month for an exhibition at a gallery. He'd met a woman, Sarah, and they had a short affair.

Edward had been better for some time at that point, and had believed that it was time to make a new start.

How wrong he'd been.

They'd been on a few dates and had landed in bed after the third one. Nothing about it felt right, and Edward woke the next morning to a strange woman in a strange apartment.

And that had been that.

Nothing had felt like Bella, ever before.

Because she was totally different from Irina, and Edward was determined to never compare them.

"Baby," he murmured against her lips.

And froze.

He had never called a woman _baby._ Surely it was derogative and sexist? Surely Bella would have his –

"Mmm…"

Or not.

She climbed into his lap again, her thighs on both sides of his, and Edward tried to catch his breath.

He also tried to will his hands from moving lower from their spot on Bella's back. Or higher, to her luscious breasts.

Oh, God, how he wished she would let him touch them at some point…

"Edward."

Hot breath at his ear… lips… nibbling… soft… warm…

"Bella… Baby…"

"I know…"

Her breath was hot as she licked over the rim of his ear and pulled back.

Her eyes were close and almost black.

"I know…"

She placed a quick kiss on his lips.

And then, the most unexpected thing happened: Bella's stomach growled loudly.

**oOo**


	81. Chapter 81

**oOo**

"Oh my God," she giggled, thoroughly embarrassed.

"Seems like someone's hungry."

Edward kissed her nose.

"I only ate breakfast," she admitted sheepishly.

"That's not enough, Bella," he said, his voice very low and worried.

"I know," she assured him. "It's just because of everything that's… happening." She kissed him. "Let's make dinner?"

"Okay." He caught her lips with his before they got up and walked to the kitchen.

They had tomato soup and sandwiches, the radio playing in the background.

"It's a pity you don't use your kitchen for cooking," Bella mentioned. "It's fantastic."

"You're welcome to cook here anytime you want," Edward blurted, and cringed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it the way it sounded."

Bella giggled. She moved one sock-clad foot up his shin.

"I'd like to."

Edward was excited to see this other side of Bella. He'd been aware that she was playful and spontaneous at times, but she'd been much more carefree these last few days.

"What do you want to do tonight?" he asked. "We could go out, if you want. After all, it's Saturday night."

"I don't always go out on Saturday nights," she shrugged.

"What would you be doing if you weren't here?"

"Don't know. Read, maybe, or watch a movie with Leah. What would you do if I weren't here?"

"Oh, but I'm so glad you're here." He caught her foot, which had tickled its way up to his knee, and pulled it into his lap. He massaged it lightly, and that made Bella smile luxuriously.

"I'd paint, I suppose."

"So I'm keeping you from it?"

She frowned, but he shook his head.

"Right now is perfect."

His fingers slipped into the leg of her jeans and caressed her calf.

"Your skin is so soft."

She merely smiled in response, her cheeks a lovely pink.

They sat and talked for another hour before Edward suggested they move to the living room. He opened a bottle of wine and joined Bella on the sofa, where she was browsing through one of the illustrated books from Edward's coffee table.

"Do you like him?"

He gestured to the book on William Lee Hankey.

"I think so. I like this one." She pointed to one of his many paintings of a mother with her young child.

"Yeah, it's one of my favourites as well."

"Tell me about his pictures."

Bella moved closer to him and snuggled into his side, placing the book on both of their laps.

The whole gesture was so natural and loving that Edward's heart ached with happiness. He kissed her temple.

"This one," he said, "is titled _We've Been in the Meadows All Day._ He's best known for his pictures in this style. Realistic yet sentimental, or the other way round."

Bella looked up at him.

"Is that how you see the world?"

"I'm afraid my view of the world is much more pessimistic," he replied.

"You think so? But your paintings…"

"I paint the world as it should be. Based on how it _is_, sure, but…" He frowned, struggling to explain. "I like to give it an optimistic hue."

"I see."

Bella's dark eyes were luminous as her face came near and her warm lips melted with his.

**oOo**

**Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews for the last chapter; I'm sorry I didn't get to thank each of you personally… Your words put a huge smile on my face.**

**I believe that many of you will like the next few chapters…**


	82. Chapter 82

**oOo**

It was after midnight when they went upstairs to retire to bed.

There had been few words as to whether Bella was going to spend the night. It seemed the natural thing to do, and she felt totally comfortable at Edward's house. He showed her around, pointing out the guest room and his small office.

"That's my studio." He gestured to the left.

The door was half-open.

"May I?" Bella asked.

"Um, of course."

She peered into the dark room. It was huge, with a floor-to-ceiling window. The smell of paint hung in the air. There were two easels, and paintings she couldn't figure out were leaning against the walls.

"I'll show you tomorrow, okay?"

Edward had stepped behind her and kissed her ear. She understood his need to protect his workspace and nodded. She slipped her hand into Edward's, and they took a few steps to the last door on the hallway, the one next to his studio.

He opened the door for her and switched on the lights.

"Voilà," he said.

Bella smiled immediately. His bedroom was gorgeous.

Facing the dark garden, there was a huge, Victorian-style double bed with a purple bedspread. The bedside tables on each side matched it in style, and there were lovely white lamps on top.

A settee in front of the window with a chest next to it, an enormous mahogany wardrobe and lavish curtains matching the colour of the bedspread made her gasp. On the right, next to the wardrobe, was a door. On the left, there was a chest of drawers and an armchair.

The whole room was cosy, elegant, and masculine at once, and it reflected Edward. It smelled very nice also. Like warmth and vanilla and a touch of cedar wood.

"Wow, this is beautiful!"

Edward cleared his throat.

"Really?"

She turned around.

"Yes. Really."

Standing on her toes, she kissed him.

"Which side do I get to sleep on?"

"Um, I usually sleep in the middle." He smiled shyly. "But my stuff is on the right side."

"Your stuff?"

She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

He laughed softly.

"Books, alarm, water bottle?"

"Oh. Oh your _stuff_!"

She grinned as if he'd said something dirty, and Edward giggled and kissed her cheek.

"I placed a toothbrush and towels on the storage drawers. And a T-shirt, too."

"Thank you." She kissed his chin.

"Um, if you want to take a shower, or –"

She silenced him with another kiss, this one on his lips.

"I'll go change and brush my teeth, thank you very much."

Edward grinned.

"Take your time."

Once she'd shut the door, Bella turned to the mirror and screamed soundlessly.

How much longer was this man going to torture her?

Yes, he wanted to do this slowly.

Yes, he'd been through a lot.

Yes, she wanted to undress him and feast on his body.

Bella splashed cold water on her face after she'd furiously brushed her teeth.

She felt scrubbed clean and rosy-cheeked when she returned to the bedroom. Edward was sitting on the side of the bed in pyjama pants and a T-shirt, looking at his bare toes as he wiggled them.

She groaned inside.

Even his toes were turning her on.

**oOo**

**Hmm… Will she feast on his body anytime soon? What do you think?**


	83. Chapter 83

**Thank you so, so, so much for pushing me over the 1000 review mark! I am one happy girl right now, and I certainly have the best readers ever! **

**oOo**

"Hey."

He smiled at her. She looked enchanting in his T-shirt, which was reaching mid-thigh on her. Her hair was loose and her cheeks were pink, and there was only one thing he wanted to do more than paint her.

"Bella." He got up from the bed and pulled her in his arms. "It's so good to have you here. My darling."

"Edward…"

Their lips met in a tender kiss, which left Edward giddy with longing. She always felt so fragile in his arms, and utterly seductive. Tonight, she tasted like peppermint.

Her fingers tangled in his hair and she made this little moaning sound, which finally did him in.

"Bella, darling…"

His left hand moved higher, until his thumb was splayed over the side of her breast.

So soft.

"You feel so good," he mumbled against her lips.

"So do you," she whispered.

"I… Are we moving too fast?"

"No…"

"I… I know I said to slow down… but…" He swallowed thickly. "It's really hard to when you look, and feel, and _smell_ like this…"

"Edward," she sighed against his lips.

They fell into another kiss, and it was slow and delicious. Bella's hand sneaked underneath the hem of his T-shirt, gently caressing his back. It made him shudder.

With Bella, everything felt new and easy, but above all, Edward knew that he could be himself, that she accepted him just as he was.

His feelings for her, apart from the obvious, mad attraction, were complex. He was in awe and felt protective of her. She made him feel secure and she inspired him. Above all, he wanted her to be happy.

His thumb moved a little, silently asking for permission.

Bella sighed. Her nails traced his vertebrae, and when he touched her nipple through thin cotton, she moaned again.

Edward's heart was hammering against his ribcage and his breath was getting laboured. He was certain that she could feel him poke her belly, but he was too far gone to be embarrassed. If he went by her reactions, he had no reason to, anyway.

Her fingers moved lower until they were just inside the top of his pyjama pants, while her other hand came to his front, stroking from his chest to his belly.

Edward groaned.

"Edward…"

"Yes, love…"

His thumb flicked over her nipple and she whined softly.

Her breath was hot on his skin, skimming his throat, licking over his neck.

He'd known that she was a passionate woman, but tonight was eye-opening. If still waters ran deep, Bella was a prime example of that saying.

"Can you do that again?" Her voice was throaty.

"Like that?"

"Oh, God, yes."

Her hand travelled to his butt, squeezing gently. She also made sure to pull him a little closer to her, so close that he knew without a doubt that she could feel the level of his excitement.

His mouth caught hers again in a wet, passionate kiss, their groans and sighs becoming more unrestrained. Edward permitted his hands to roam her slight body until they were a happy mess of beating hearts and whispered desires.

Her hands flat on Edward's chest, she gently pushed him back until his knees hit the side of his bed.

**oOo**

**Hmm… Thoughts, anyone?**


	84. Chapter 84

**oOo**

Bella landed on top of him, their lips meeting in another kiss. His body felt spectacular underneath her, strong and tall where she was soft and small.

His hands roamed from her back to her butt, his breath hot against her mouth as he whispered.

"You're so beautiful, Bella…"

His lips were seeking out hers once more, their kisses becoming desperate and hungry. She had never felt such passion before; it was igniting sparks from the tips of her toes to the roots of her hair.

Edward was intoxicating; his scent, the feel of his skin, soft and smooth in places, stubbly in others, his hair, his hands.

Bella pushed his T-shirt up his chest, peppering his skin with kisses, inhaling him. He answered with a low moan, helping her take the shirt off. His skin was warm, and he felt so… familiar, as if she'd smelled and tasted him like this before, as if they were meant to be this way.

"Baby… Bella, darling…"

He turned her around with him until he was on top, propping himself up on his elbows to keep his weight off her.

He looked delicious, his hair messier than usual, his cheeks slightly rosy.

She could feel him distinctly between her legs, and that, combined with the feeling of his weight, his naked skin under her fingers, made her heart race.

Cupping his face in her hands, she kissed him thoroughly before she gave him a chance to speak.

"Are you… are you sure you want this, my love?"

Green eyes full of hope and heat.

"Yes, Edward." She twined her legs around his waist and he groaned. "Don't you?"

"Of course I do," he whispered thickly. He kissed her neck and collarbone.

She caught his eyes with hers, and in that moment, there was a closeness between them that none had experienced before.

They had both been hurt, but right now, they trusted, and they wanted to give themselves away.

"You're beautiful," Edward murmured. "So beautiful…"

He kissed her breasts through the material of her T-shirt, as if sensing that she felt shy about revealing that particular part of her body.

His warm breath teased her, and when he took one nipple between his lips, Bella moaned joyfully. One of his hands was stroking her tummy.

"You're amazing," he continued to murmur. "My beautiful Bella…"

He continued his caresses until she thought she was going to explode. With one decided move, she pulled the shirt off. For a second, she wanted to hide, but Edward wouldn't let her. He was hovering above her, staring into her eyes.

"Bella… Bella, love, look at me. You're so beautiful… Please… please don't be shy…"

"I'm… I'm sorry…"

"Please don't be," he murmured tenderly. He placed a kiss on her nose, and one on her chin, continuing with her cheeks and eyelids and forehead.

Only when Bella slid her arms back around his neck did he descend to her lips. They kissed languidly, and for a long time. Her fingers moved into his hair and her legs drew him closer. He felt so good pressed against her, all hard, nothing but the cotton of his pyjamas separating them.

"Edward," she whispered into his mouth. "I really, really want this."

His smile crinkled the sides of his eyes.

"So do I, my love."

His kiss was tender and reverent, his whispers soft and adoring.

"I love you, Bella… You're beautiful."

And to Bella, it felt as if no man had ever said the words to her before.

"I love you too, Edward."

"I love you," he repeated.

Now, they both smiled.

"In that case," she whispered, "would you consider taking your pants off?"

**oOo**


	85. Chapter 85

**oOo**

She was exquisitely beautiful, pale and delicate. Her lips were full and red from their kissing, her cheeks tinted pink.

Her hands travelled down his sides, grabbing the hem of his pyjama pants, pushing them lower.

Edward looked into her large, dark eyes.

"What?" she said, biting her lip. "Am I… am I too forward?"

"No." He silenced her with a long kiss to show her exactly how he felt. She sighed when she felt his hand on her breast, and shuddered when he started caressing it, running his thumb across her nipple, watching her face as she moaned.

Slowly, he moved lower, until he was directly above her breasts. They were divine, creamy white and pink and perfectly round. He kissed her soft skin and she sighed again. He licked over her nipple and she whimpered with joy.

He had dreamed of her breasts, but no dream had come close to this voluptuous reality. Any idea of shyness was forgotten once he sucked, humming blissfully. Her hands met in his hair, pulling gently.

Edward was almost certain that he'd died and gone to heaven.

He moved his fingers down her stomach, over her flat belly, her hipbone, to the waist of her panties.

"Edward," she sighed.

His fingers moved further, stroking the patch of coarse hair between her legs, moving further still.

She was hot, and wet, and she groaned when he touched her.

"Can I take these off?" he murmured, surprised by how hoarse his voice sounded.

"Yes," she sighed.

Between nibbles and licks, he pulled her panties over her feet. He kissed his way upward on her slight body, worshipping her calves and thighs, her hips and stomach, until he was back to her breasts.

Bella's hands were roaming his body, down his belly, into his pants.

"Oh, God…"

He thought he'd explode once she touched him.

"Are you going to take these off now?"

She smiled and bit his neck.

"God, yes."

He got rid of the last piece of clothing that separated them and was back on top of her.

"Should we…" He swallowed. Of course she would know that he'd been hoping for this if he admitted that he had condoms in his bedside table. Not that he had hoped for it to happen necessarily _tonight_, but…

"Do you have a condom?" she whispered, her breath hot on his chin.

"Y-yes…"

He fumbled through the drawer for a second.

He looked at her when he got it. She was licking her lips, watching him roll it on.

"Come here."

She opened her arms and pulled him back on top of her.

"I love you, Bella." He kissed her, and she responded eagerly.

It was hot and wet and full of passion and want, and between shared breaths and pounding hearts, he slipped into her, her eyes growing wide and his thoughts becoming incoherent.

All that mattered was that they were giving themselves to each other, and that they fit like they were meant to be. One.

**oOo**


	86. Chapter 86

**oOo**

Feeling him this way – inside her – was glorious. The way he filled her was nothing but divine.

Bella watched him as he hovered above her, keeping very still for a moment. He was beautiful. Now, he had finally let his guard down, giving her an enraptured, crooked smile. He kissed her, and it was so tender.

And then he moved, drawing a high-pitched moan from her, answering it with his own, which sounded like a growl.

Her fingers were gripping his shoulders, his back, her feet digging into his thighs. They were working up a sweat, their bodies getting slick, their movements more urgent.

With each thrust, he drove her further into her rapture. Their kisses became wet and unrestrained, their sounds more urgent.

He looked into her eyes, his face open and vulnerable, his eyes alive and full of joy.

"Beautiful," he murmured breathlessly. He kissed her again.

"Edward… Oh, God…"

Bella was close to unwinding, her fingers running through his damp hair.

Each move brought her higher, and she didn't care whether her whimpers and moans were undistinguished.

"Oh… Yes… Yes, yes, yes…"

She cried out and clung to him as wave after wave washed over her.

Edward's face scrunched up for a second and he buried himself in her with a low groan that was muffled by her hair. Seconds later, he shuddered, which made her shudder in return and complete fulfilment.

.

She was still trembling with the aftershocks of her orgasm, Edward's chest heaving and setting against hers as if he'd taken a run.

They were damp with sweat, their bodies still entwined, blissful smiles on their lips as they tried to regain their breath.

"Wow." She grinned, relaxing her legs that still were wrapped around Edward's waist.

He was grinning too, and like the Cheshire cat at that.

"Yeah, wow."

He kissed her, his lips conveying so much tenderness. He looked at her, and for a second, Bella felt as if she'd never been thoroughly _looked at_ before. He kissed her again, a gentle peck this time, before he withdrew himself and swiftly turned around to grab a Kleenex.

Once he was on his back, he immediately pulled her near.

Bella rested her head on his chest and felt his lips on her temple.

"I love you," he murmured.

"Mmm," she purred. She kissed his chest, enjoying the way he smelled of sex and sweat and – she was getting to know – Edward.

"I love you too," she said, and he pulled her even closer in response.

"You're so tiny," he said softly, and she could feel his breath against her forehead. "I was afraid I'd break you."

"Then we'll have to practice," she chuckled.

Edward kissed the top of her head and exhaled. His heart was beating evenly under her ear.

They were perfectly content.

"I didn't think I'd be this happy ever again," he whispered.

Bella looked up and cupped his face in her hands. She kissed him, revelling in the sensation of soft lips and stubbly skin.

"I don't think I've _ever_ been so happy," she murmured.

**oOo**

**There you go. Was it good for you?**


	87. Chapter 87

**oOo**

Soft lips caressed her shoulder. The morning light was peeking in through the curtains.

"Good morning," Edward whispered against her skin.

He was hugging her whole body. His arms were around her, and their legs were entwined.

"Morning," she smiled.

She couldn't remember feeling so perfectly content. And sore.

She shut her eyes again.

"Did you sleep well?"

He nuzzled her neck with his nose.

"Mmm… Yes."

She grabbed his hand and placed a few kisses on his fingers. They smelled like sex, raw and earthy.

"Edward," she murmured happily.

He kissed the back of her neck, which made her shudder pleasantly.

"You're the best Christmas present I ever had," he whispered, his warm breath teasing her.

"You want me wear a bow?" she giggled, turning around in his arms.

"Hmm," he mused. "Yeah, actually, I think I'd like that. But nothing _but_ the bow, okay?"

"You're silly," she said cheerfully, and snuggled up to his chest so that her head fitted under his chin.

She felt him sigh deeply.

"I'm happy," he said softly. "You know that?"

"I'm happy too, Edward. So happy."

They were quiet for a long time. Bella loved that their silence always was peaceful, and never awkward.

"What do you want to do today?" she murmured at some point.

Edward's breathing was low and deep, and when she opened her eyes to look at him, she realized that he had fallen asleep again.

Bella smiled. She closed her eyes.

.

It was after eleven when they had breakfast, cuddling on the bench in his kitchen. It looked out over the garden, and to Bella's delight, it had started to snow.

They watched the flakes float down, slowly covering trees and the lawn.

"I like snow."

She had thrown her legs over Edward's lap and had her head on his shoulder. They were constantly touching and kissing, and she wasn't surprised that, now they had taken the final step, he was even more affectionate than before.

"Me too," he nodded, kissing her forehead.

"I'm baking cookies tonight. Will you help me?"

"If you think I'm any good at it." He kissed her nose.

"You can sit in my kitchen and be my cheerleader. We'll drink mulled wine and sing carols."

"Mmm. That sounds fun. When are you going to your parents tomorrow?"

"Around five. What are you doing? You can join us if you want."

"I think I'd rather just come to the party." He kissed her ear. "Anyway, I'll be with Ro and Emmett. My niece is coming from Oxford, and we have this tradition of taking a long walk in the afternoon."

"That's lovely."

"She's a lovely girl. You'll like her." He frowned. "I mean, you're sure to meet her some time… I mean…"

"I'm sure I'll like her." She silenced him with a long kiss.

They went for a walk after they'd cleared the table. In the afternoon, Edward threw a few items of clothing into a bag, since it was clear that he would spent the night at her place.

Once at Bella's, they got to work. Well, she did. Edward was awarded the title of sous chef, meaning that he got to hand her flour and butter and eggs. His task was also to prepare the mulled wine.

Handel's "Messiah" was playing in the background, and once the cookies were in the oven, Edward pulled her back in his arms and Bella melted.

"Darling," he whispered in her ear. "Why is every day with you better than the last one?"

Edward was one of the very few people who could render Bella Swan speechless.

**oOo**


	88. Chapter 88

**oOo**

It was Christmas Eve, and Bella and Edward were trying to say goodbye in his car.

He'd insisted on driving her to her parents' house before he went to Rosalie's. And now they were sitting in his red Volvo, kissing for the twelfth time.

"I'll call you when I'm home," she murmured against his warm lips.

"I'll send you a message after my walk with Vera."

His hands framed her face, while his lips played with hers again. They had made love all afternoon, and it had made the bond between them even stronger. Maybe hormones played a part, as well.

"When do you think you'll be home?" he mumbled against her lips.

"Don't know... Ten?" She sighed when Edward's thumb brushed over the pulse point at her neck.

"Can I come over?"

"Yes..."

"Baby..."

Another kiss, moist and tender.

"Edward, I... I need to go inside... Or I'll never leave here..."

"Then don't."

She smiled and licked over his lower lip.

"I'll see you tonight."

"Bye, my darling."

She waved from the doorsteps of her parents' house, and Edward waved back. He didn't drive away before she was inside.

Her mum greeted her with a hug, but Jackie was directly behind her, clapping her hands.

"Looks like someone finally got it o-o-on!"

"Oh, shut up," Bella replied.

She hadn't even taken off her coat, for God's sake!

She ruffled Jackie's hair, knowing that she hated that, and went to the living room, where her dad and Paul were having a beer while Grandma Marie fiddled with the Christmas tree decorations.

"Ho, ho, ho!" Bella exclaimed, just because she knew it made her dad laugh, which it did.

He hugged her, and then Bella hugged her granny, and Paul, and Pookie wanted to be greeted properly, too.

He was wearing his reindeer ears again.

They had eggnog and Jackie kept wiggling her eyebrows until Bella had enough and cornered her in the kitchen.

"What the fuck is going on with you?"

"You did it, right?"

Bella loved her sister, but sometimes, Jackie was like an overeager puppy dog without boundaries.

"That's none of your business!" Bella shook her head. "What makes you even say that?"

"Oh, please! It's written all over you. You're like a cat that had a huge bowl full of cream!" At that, Jackie toppled over with hysterical giggles.

"What's going on, girls?" Their mum joined them.

Bella shot her sister a look that clearly said, "If you say one word, I will throttle you."

.

"Daddy? Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Of course, Pumpkin."

Charles set down his beer on the coffee table. The rest of the family was gathered around the tree at the other side of the room. Bella sat down next to him on the couch.

"About the party," she began.

His dark eyes were deep and loving as he nodded for his daughter to continue.

"I... Edward and I... we..."

She bit her lip.

"You pulled your shit together?" Charles offered.

Bella had to smile.

"You could say that, yes."

"I thought so, Pumpkin." He pulled her close. "It's good to see you happy. And I'm looking forward to meeting your Edward."

Bella's smile grew impossibly larger.

Yes. He was _her_ Edward.

**oOo**

**Thank you so much for the response to the last chapter, sorry I couldn't thank each and every one of you personally.**

**Hearts and kisses, have a fantastic weekend!**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	89. Chapter 89

**oOo**

Bella didn't call Edward immediately once she was home.

She retrieved his present from the sock drawer. She placed it on the coffee table and looked at it.

She smiled, and went to get the wrapping paper.

.

Their arms and legs entwined, they lay in her bed after making love.

She was spent, in the best of ways. Her head on his chest, she fondled his bristling hair. She kissed his warm skin and revelled in his scent.

"Edward?"

She moved until she could look at him.

"Yes?"

He looked like she felt: exhausted and high on a cloud of bliss.

"I love you."

His full lips lifted into a beautiful smile.

"I love you too," he replied.

"Good."

"Very."

"Did you think we'd end up like this?" she mused.

"In your bed?" He grinned cockily.

"That, too."

"Hmm…"

His fingers were painting unknown patterns on her back.

"I knew from the moment I met you at Boots that you were… someone special. I was intrigued by your eyes."

She kissed his chest.

"And now you're intrigued by my boobs?"

Now that he'd seen, kissed, licked, and again and again professed his love for her breasts, she wasn't so shy about them anymore.

He chuckled and patted her bottom.

"I'm intrigued by your mind, Bella. Your charm, your sweetness, your beauty. Your sensitivity, your warmth. And your boobs, yes. Big time."

"You're silly."

She loved that he was.

When they'd met, he'd always seemed sombre and sad.

"I'm serious, Bella." He nuzzled her hairline with his nose. "I know you don't see your body clearly, but you're divine."

She closed her eyes and relaxed into his warmth. She believed him, and she could almost see herself through his eyes.

They fell asleep with their arms around each other, floating on clouds of peace and security.

.

When Bella woke, the space beside her was empty, but she could hear him in the kitchen – her flat was small, after all.

Edward appeared after a few moments, bearing two mugs of coffee.

"Hey," he smiled. "Merry Christmas."

He set the mugs down and slipped back under the covers with her.

"Merry Christmas," she murmured, rubbing her eyes.

Edward handed her the coffee.

"I hope you don't mind."

"That you made coffee?" She took a sip. "Why would I mind? It's very sweet of you."

Edward cleared his throat.

She looked up.

He had not been referring to the coffee. He was holding an envelope in his hand, reminding her of the last time that had happened. This one had the drawing of a sprig of mistletoe on it.

"You're crazy," she grinned.

"Open it?" He actually seemed nervous. "It's… I hope you don't think this presumptuous…" He scratched the back of his neck.

Bella pulled a card from the envelope. To her surprise, it wasn't a drawing, but a picture postcard. There were snow-covered hills and it said, _Greetings from Penarth_.

Confused, she turned the card. There was Edward's fine, black handwriting.

_New Year's Eve in Wales for Bella and Edward._

_I love you._

_E_

"What… what does this mean?"

She stared at him.

"It means that I would like to spend New Year's with you. In Wales."

"But… Why…"

"If you don't want to, that's okay," he hastened to assure her. "We can go some other time. Or somewhere else. Or not at all…" He shook his head. "It probably was a stupid – "

"I'd love to." She kissed him. "But… why Wales?"

He shrugged. "My aunt has a cottage there, which she rents out, but I've never been there. I asked her if we could have it, and she said yes."

Bella kissed him again.

**oOo**


	90. Chapter 90

**oOo**

Edward was ridiculously happy. Bella had agreed to go to Wales with him for New Year's Eve. They were sitting in her bed, chatting and kissing and drinking coffee.

"Wait a second," Bella murmured against his lips and climbed out of the bed.

"What are you –"

She grabbed something from the coffee table and returned to him.

"Your Christmas present."

She pecked his lips with a small kiss.

"Thank you. I hope you didn't spend a lot of money."

He was aware of the fact that Bella was struggling to make ends meet. He was also aware that she was proud of her ability to support herself.

"I made it," she said softly. "I… I hope you like it?"

Curious, Edward unwrapped his gift. He gasped.

It was a self-made calendar with photographs she had taken, showing various places and things that were significant for their relationship: the park they'd first taken a walk in, the front entrance of the National Gallery, a selection of vegetables, symbolising Edward's attempts at cooking. There was the Gate Vegetarian Restaurant, Chocolate Heaven, Bella's loveseat…

"Oh, Bella. This is incredible."

He browsed through the pages again, before he put his gift on the side so he could pull her close.

"Thank you so much, my love."

"You like it?" she whispered against his lips.

"I love it. Thank you. I'll hang it in my studio."

"Really?"

She sounded excited.

"Absolutely."

He kissed her again, revelling in the sensation of her soft, sweet lips and the way they were in perfect harmony with each other.

When they had to part for breath, Bella put her head on his shoulder. He couldn't believe how quickly they were getting so close and how natural it felt. They were at ease with each other, almost as if they'd known one another much longer than they actually did.

"Are you looking forward to seeing your family?"

"Yes, sure. There's actually something you could help me with."

"Hmm?" She smiled warmly and passed her toe up and down his leg.

"I had most of my presents wrapped at the shops, but I got this bracelet for Vera, and it's in a round box. How do you wrap something that's round?"

Bella looked up at him with huge, dark eyes.

"You're impossible. Your paintings sell for hundreds of thousands of pounds, yet you can't wrap a gift?"

"Well, I could. But it would look like shit."

"Okay." She placed a smacking kiss on his chest. "Let's have breakfast, and then I'll show you."

.

Later that afternoon, they said goodbye once more in his car in front of Bella's parents' house.

Since Bella would be spending the night, they weren't going to see each other later.

"It's just… I promised Mum I would help with the preparations for the party…"

"It's okay, love." He pressed another kiss on her lips. "Completely okay."

"I'll call you before I go to sleep…"

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you, Edward."

His heart was light as he drove back home to get the presents for his family.

**oOo**

**Thank you so, so much for your ongoing support; I can only say it again: I couldn't do it without you guys! Every review means so much to me…**


	91. Chapter 91

**oOo**

Everybody was chatting lightly while Carlisle Cullen cut the turkey. The family had already exchanged gifts, and Edward was now the proud owner of a brand new easel and a set of his favourite paintbrushes. Vera had given him a silver case for his glasses with his name engraved.

He was having a glass of wine but that would be it, since he had to drive.

Once they all had their plates filled with turkey, roast potatoes, Brussels sprouts, cranberry sauce and gravy, Carlisle raised his glass.

"A merry Christmas, everyone."

They clinked their glasses together and dug in.

Somewhere between his seventh bite of turkey and a near gravy-orgasm, Edward's thoughts turned to Bella.

What had to happen so you didn't like to eat?

"Mum, this is fantastic."

"Thank you."

Esme smiled, her green eyes twinkling.

And Edward knew that he would be talking to his mother later on. She knew him too well to not have noticed something was going on.

An hour later, Esme Cullen pulled her son into the kitchen under the guise that he needed his help with the dessert – a silly construction, since everyone knew that Edward's kitchen skills began ended with boiling water.

Well, they didn't know that Bella had been teaching him.

"Edward, darling, I don't want to intrude, but… you look so happy! Please tell me that it is what I think!"

"I'm in love."

Esme threw her arms around him.

"I knew it!"

She kissed his cheek.

"Well, you're very perceptive," Edward smiled.

"Am I right in assuming that we are talking about the girl you met at Ro's party? Bella?"

Edward grinned widely.

"Yes. We… We're… I don't know, official? I'm going to her parents' Boxing Day party tomorrow."

"Oh!" Esme squealed and kissed his cheek again. "Why didn't you bring her along?"

Edward sighed.

"I would have loved to, Mum. It's just… We're so new. I'm going to her parents' tomorrow, that's big for us. I'll bring her over, I promise. Just… give us time, okay?"

Esme hugged her son.

"Of course. I'm so happy for you, my darling boy." She patted his cheek. "And before you ask, no I'm not telling Ro."

"Um, Mum, actually… she knows."

"She does?"

"It was a coincidence. A mutual acquaintance worked at an antiques shop, and…" Edward shook his head and kissed his mother's cheek. "You'll met her, Mum, I promise."

"Okay, darling." She smiled. "Now will you help me carry this enormous cake?"

The rest of the day passed quietly. Edward talked rather a long time with Emmett, and he was pleasantly surprised that his brother-in-law was far more intelligent and witty than he had given him credit for. They spoke about Emmett's work, and about Edward's, and when Emmett asked about the state of things with Bella, Edward grinned happily.

"She's adorable. You've got to meet her."

"I'd love to, and so would Ro."

"Hmm?"

Rosalie joined them.

"I was just telling Edward that we'd love to meet his girlfriend. I mean, obviously, you already have. I must admit that I don't remember her."

"Why don't you bring her for our New Year's party?" Rosalie said.

Edward's smile became even bigger, and he felt like Winnie-the-Pooh after finding a huge pot of honey.

"I'd love to, but we're going away."

"Already?" Rosalie said. "Wow, you're moving fast, little brother."

"Maybe," he shrugged. "But it feels right. It feels right with her."

**oOo**

**I'm awfully bad at replying to your reviews right now. Please know that I am sorry and that I read and cherish each and every one! Thank you so much!**


	92. Chapter 92

**oOo**

"_Phew, what a long day," Bella wrote. "I hope you enjoyed yours as much as I did. Going to bed now. I can't wait to see you tomorrow. My love, B"_

Edward smiled to himself as he read it. He couldn't wait for the next day too, even if he was mighty nervous.

"_I can't wait to see you either. All my love and plenty of kisses, E"_

He couldn't believe how much his life had changed in just a few weeks. Now that he had let Bella in, everything was light and beautiful. She truly was his sunshine.

He lay back on his bed and closed his eyes, thinking about her. Bella made everything different – and the physical relationship was completely overwhelming. He'd never experienced such passion and, at the same time, the feeling of security, of belonging, with someone.

Edward drifted off into happy dreams.

.

He spent the next morning painting. His mum called around noon, and it was obvious that she wanted to hear everything about Edward's new relationship. He couldn't begrudge Esme her curiosity. It had been years since she had seen him anything but mopey and sad.

"You will like her, mum," he promised. "She's so lovely, and so talented."

"I can't wait to meet her," Esme said. "But we'll wait, Edward. Whenever you're ready."

He had a sandwich and painted some more before it became time to take a shower and get ready. He was unsure on what to wear, realizing he'd never asked Bella how formal or informal her parents' parties were. He decided on jeans, a black button-down and a dark blue suit jacket. Couldn't go wrong with that.

Edward was admittedly getting nervous. He would have loved to have a stiff drink or two, but he knew that he shouldn't, and couldn't.

He slipped on a coat and grabbed the keys for the Volvo.

Feeling entirely too sober, he made his way to meet Bella's family.

.

The front door of the semi-detached house was decorated with garlands and a sprig of mistletoe. Taking a deep breath, Edward rang the bell. He could hear voices, and a barking dog, and seconds later, Bella smiled at him. She looked enchanting in a grey woollen dress, her hair in a high ponytail. Her smile was the most beautiful thing.

"Hi," she greeted him softly. Standing on her toes, she placed a kiss on Edward's lips, which made his blood rush through his veins.

But the barking got louder and Bella withdrew.

"Shut up, Pookie," she scolded, and the dog – an elderly Golden retriever – poked her thigh with its nose.

"This is Pookie," she said.

Edward bent down to pat the dog's ear.

"Hello, Pookie."

"Come in," Bella said.

"Hi, Edward!" Jackie had appeared from somewhere and hugged him.

"Jackie, um, good to see you again."

Bella's sister was wearing an over-sized pink sweater with silver leggings and a matching bow in her hair.

"Merry Christmas!" She handed Edward a glass of what seemed to be punch.

"Jackie, at least let the poor man take his coat off."

"Sure, sure," Jackie pouted.

Edward smiled. Once her sister had hung his coat up for him, Bella grabbed his hand.

"Ready to meet the Swans?"

She wore an adorable twinkle in her eye.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Edward shrugged, and followed her.

About ten people were in the living room as they entered. A man with a moustache and Bella's eyes approached them.

"Daddy," Bella said. "This is Edward Cullen. My boyfriend."

Edward heart took a little leap at the word.

**oOo**


	93. Chapter 93

**oOo**

Smiling, her dad shook Edward's hand.

"Good to meet you, Edward. I'm Charles."

"Thank you for the invitation," Edward said, feeling Bella's father consider him for a moment, but not in an unfriendly way.

"And my mum – Mum, meet Edward," she called.

A very pretty woman with dark blonde hair and an open smile joined them. She was probably only a few years older than Rosalie. Bella had told him that her parents had been in their mid-twenties when she was born.

"Mrs. Swan. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Oh, call me Renee." She shook his hand. "It's lovely to meet _you_, Edward."

More introductions followed. The elderly lady was Bella's grandmother, and Jackie introduced him to her boyfriend. Leah was also there, along with her brother Seth and her parents, Harry and Sue. He was slightly overwhelmed, but felt immediately at ease with Bella's family and friends. The atmosphere was warm and relaxed, and over the next half hour, more people started to arrive until the living room was filled with chatter and laughter and Charles declared the buffet open.

Bella was never far away from him, touching his chest, slipping her arm through his, taking his hand.

It was getting quite obvious to him where she got her warmth and cheerfulness.

He was having a plate of chicken salad, chatting with Paul, when Leah joined them.

"Hey," she smiled, the small gap between her front teeth showing. "Nice to meet you again, Edward."

"Yes, you too."

"Bella's looking very happy."

"She makes me very happy, as well."

There was a small silence.

Seemingly sensing the growing awkwardness of the situation, Paul excused himself.

Edward took a deep breath, facing Leah with a light smile.

She was looking at him with stern, dark eyes.

"I just hope you know that Bella isn't all that tough, not the way she may seem. She's strong, and she has more courage than anyone I know, but she's fragile, too."

"That's rather obvious, isn't it?" Edward huffed. He was beginning to resent Bella's friend for insinuating – well, whatever it was. "What exactly are you trying to tell me, Leah?"

"Just… Look out for her. I know she's a very caring, warm-hearted person, but please remember that Bella needs to be cared for too."

"I don't know what makes you think that I don't," he said. "I want to take care of her, I want to protect her. Our relationship may be new, but I'm not an idiot. I know she has issues. So do I." He shrugged. "But I'm positive that we'll manage."

"'kay."

At last, Leah's smile became genuine, just a second before Bella joined them, slipping her arm through his.

"Do you like the salad? I made it, even though there's chicken in it." She grinned.

"It's perfect."

Edward slid his arm around her waist and placed a gentle kiss on her temple.

"So you're a painter, huh?" Leah said, cocking her head.

"I am."

Bella squeezed his bicep as she smiled proudly.

"I'm having an exhibition at the Saatchi Gallery in February. I'd love it if you came."

"I just might," Leah replied, once more revealing her charming tooth gap.

.

Three hours and many small talks later, Edward felt that he had come to know the Swan family rather well. They were a lively, cheery bunch of people. Bella's parents were very friendly with him, even though Edward was aware of the fact that they might have second thoughts about their daughter dating someone sixteen years older. If they had, they didn't show it, chatting with him about his work and Bella's, asking questions about his painting, but never getting inquisitive.

It was after ten when most of the guests were leaving.

"Do you want to come to my place?" Edward asked Bella, who was putting plates into the dishwasher. He handed her a couple more that he had collected from the kitchen table.

"Thanks." She shut the machine and looked at him. "Yes, I'd love to. I mean, I helped all day. Jackie can do the cleaning up."

"I helped, too!" Jackie cried from the doorway.

"Yeah, you threw paper streamers over the lamps," Bella giggled. "No, no, sweetie. I am leaving here." She twined one arm around Edward's waist. "I want to spend the night with my _boyfriend_."

Standing on her toes, she kissed Edward's lips, and Jackie shouted, "Woo-hoo!"

Edward blushed, but couldn't help the smile that spread over his face.

**oOo**


	94. Chapter 94

**oOo**

Bella placed a smacking kiss on Edward's chest.

"I'm exhausted," she whispered, making sure he felt her breath. She licked over his nipple. "You exhaust me."

"Psht," he replied sleepily. "_I_ exhaust _you_?" he gave her breast a fond squeeze. "You're talking to an old man here, baby…"

"Mmm… You don't really show any signs of aging, darling…"

She kissed her way from one nipple to the other, and southward.

Edward's belly was firm and he smelled good and she was, again, drowning in him. Also, she really _was_ exhausted. She placed her head on Edward's belly and fell asleep.

.

Bella woke, surprisingly, in the exact same position. The difference was that Edward's finger was passing up and down her side.

"Hey," he mumbled sleepily.

"Hey."

She blinked.

"What time is it?"

"Three? Or four?"

"Hmm?"

She moved higher, and snuggled into his side.

"How long've you been awake?"

She kissed his chest again.

"How long have I known you?"

He kissed her forehead.

Bella sighed happily, and kissed his chest again.

"I love you, Edward."

"I love you, Bella."

.

When they woke again, they had moved. He was pressed to her back, kissing her neck, and Bella could feel his arousal against her thigh.

The morning sun was peeping in through a gap in the curtains.

She sighed.

"Are you awake?"

His voice was thick with sleep.

"Hmm…"

She sighed when she felt his fingers.

"Bella…"

"Oh… Yes…"

Warm, soft lips.

Long, knowing fingers.

"Oh… Oh, oh…"

"Bella…"

Hot whispers in her ear.

"I love you."

"Yes…"

She craned her neck to give him better access for his sucking kisses. His fingers played her masterfully, alternating between tender and demanding, until she was moaning loudly.

Somewhere at the back of her mind, Bella thought that she used to be much more shy in bed. Well, _used_ to. That was before Edward.

He sneaked his free hand around her, pulling her even closer in the process, and began to fondle her breasts, teasing her nipples and driving her crazy.

"Bella…" He nibbled on her earlobe. "Baby, you're so beautiful… I love you, I need you…"

"Edward… oh…"

She wiggled her butt against him, finding him rock-hard.

It didn't take him long to be back inside her, both of them groaning with pleasure and relief.

Bella closed her eyes, concentrating on the intense sensations he was causing as he rocked into her. She grabbed his hand, needing to hold onto something.

"Mmm…"

"Baby…" He licked over her neck.

On and on they went, but when Edward's fingers moved from her breast to her belly and lower, and he started to please her, softly, decidedly, she shattered into pieces, crying out and trembling.

"Oh, Bella… Baby… ohmygod… ung…"

He held her so close she almost couldn't breathe for a moment. It was, in the best sense of the word, breathtaking.

"Baby…" he murmured, sounding utterly spent.

Their bodies entwined, they were fighting for breath. She kissed his forearm, his wrist, his fingertips, and she could smell herself on him.

"Maybe you're right," he whispered huskily. "I'm not aging that quickly, You're my little fountain of youth…"

Bella sighed happily. If she made him feel younger, he was the one who had awakened her body.

**oOo**

**Thank you for your reviews and for alerting me to my silly mistake – that's what happens when I work without a beta or pre-reader…**

**Have a lovely weekend, everyone!**

**xoxo**

**your **

**harperpitt**


	95. Chapter 95

**oOo**

"Yeah, um, it's a bit messy…"

Edward scratched his forehead as he opened the door to his inner sanctum, his studio. Bella couldn't help but smile; it was ridiculously cute to see him so nervous. In some way, though, she understood him. From what he'd told her, he hardly let anyone inside.

"You needn't show me," she repeated for the third or fourth time. "Really, I understand completely if you want to keep this for yourself…"

"No, no." He wrapped his arms around her from behind. "I want you to know it. To know me." He placed a tender kiss at the back of her neck. "But, as I said, as you can see, it's… messy."

"It's not really," she said as Edward walked her into the middle of his rather large workspace.

The pale December sun was painting the room white. There were easels and canvases, and a table with equipment and a shelf filled with colours and paintbrushes.

The picture Edward was currently working on was on an easel next to the floor-to-ceiling window. It showed a park in autumn, with the silhouette of a girl, or a young woman, who seemed to be dancing, along with her kite. It conveyed great lightness and freedom.

"That's beautiful." Bella squeezed Edward's hands that were entwined with hers under her breasts.

"I had a beautiful model," he murmured, and she wasn't sure whether there was a note of shyness in his tone.

"You mean…" She had to swallow. "You mean, that's me?"

"Mmm-hmm." She felt him take a breath. "Is that okay with you?"

"Um, yes, of course," she said, feeling slightly overwhelmed. "I'm honoured."

"Actually, I painted you even before that one." His voice was slightly husky now, and Bella turned around to look at him.

"You did?"

He nodded.

"Show me."

Edward sighed deeply, but she could see the slight, lopsided smile at the corner of his mouth.

"Show me," she repeated, slipping her hand into his shirt and tickling his side.

"Bellaaa…"

"Show me," she demanded, gently biting his neck.

He groaned lightly, but it was a response to her actions, not her request.

"Please?" she whispered against his lips.

Edward pulled her lower lip between his and laughed softly.

"Don't be mad at me," he murmured.

"Why would I be mad at you?"

Edward let go of her and walked to the wall on the left of the windows. He grabbed one large picture and put it aside, taking the canvas that had been hiding behind it. Bella could only see the back of it. He returned to her, but left a foot between them.

He licked his lips.

"You're scaring me," she smiled.

Silently, he turned the canvas around, holding it up for her to see.

Bella gasped.

It was a portrait of her, that much she had expected. The thing she couldn't have expected was how otherworldly he had depicted her. She was wearing some sort of blue chiffon stole, blowing lightly in the breeze. Her shoulders were bare, and the picture ended just where her breasts would begin. She was bathed in light, which was coming directly from above, where the sun was breaking through the clouds.

It could have been kitschy, but as with all of Edward's paintings, it wasn't. He had managed to create something realistic yet sweet, truthful and utterly magical.

Bella felt her eyes fill with tears.

The idea that this was how he saw her made her heart brim over.

"Is it…" he stammered. "I'm sorry, baby. I'll… I'll destroy it…"

"Nonsense," she cried happily, closing the distance between them and throwing her arms around his neck. He hardly had a chance to place the painting against one of the walls before she assaulted him with kisses.

"You like it?" he mumbled against her lips.

"It's exquisite, magnificent."

Tears of emotion ran down her cheeks as she kissed his face, finishing with his warm, soft lips.

"Thank you, my darling," she whispered. "No one has ever seen me like this."

"Then no one has seen you for what you are."

His kisses were hasty and passionate, and Bella's heart was open so wide that she could, for once, believe that she was exceptional.

**oOo**

**Thank you so much for your support and your reviews. Your words make me very happy!**


	96. Chapter 96

**oOo**

"Do you have your keys, love?"

"Yes, yes." Bella nodded fiercely.

Edward had never seen her so excited, which made him fall in love all over again. She had been checking and re-checking her luggage last night and this morning, even consulting a list she had made. Edward had reminded her that they'd only be gone for three-and-a-half days, but she had insisted that she needed to do it her way.

"I'm sorry," she said, kissing him before she finally got in the car. "I told you I'm a nervous traveller."

"It's okay," he smiled. He shut her door and joined her in the car. "Are you sure you have your toothbrush?"

"Oh dear." Bella frowned. "Maybe I should –"

"Bella." He grinned. "Relax. If you forgot your toothbrush, we'll buy you a new one. I'm sure they have toothbrushes in Wales."

"Don't make fun of me!" But she smiled.

Edward kissed her nose and started the car to get on the road to Penarth.

.

"Oh my God, this is incredible!"

They had reached the sea. It was just after noon, and Edward was using the route that Aunt Mary had described for him. She had told him that the view was spectacular, which it was. To their right, miles of deliciously untouched countryside with the odd lighthouse or barn. The fields were grey and barren, holding their winter's sleep.

To their left, the sea stretched into the horizon, grey and dark blue, spitting white flakes of foam. Edward could imagine how lovely it would be in summer, but this bleakness, he almost found more interesting. It was raw and uncompromising. He itched to draw it.

"You're itching to draw it, aren't you?" Bella's sweet voice pulled him out of his musings.

She could read him so well it was sometimes uncanny.

He swiftly ran his hand down her leg.

"Busted," he smiled.

"Well, you'll have enough time to draw," she said. "Once you're finished making love to me, I just might let you outside."

"Oh," he chuckled. "So that's how it's going to be?"

"Yep."

This time, her fingers ran up his thigh.

"What if I want to draw something more fascinating?"

"More fascinating than this?" She pointed at the rolling waves and shook her head.

"Uh-huh." Edward grinned. He had been thinking of it, of course, but he hadn't had the guts to ask her yet.

"Seriously," she said. "What would be more fascinating than this?"

"You," he replied simply.

"You want to paint me?"

"There are few things in life I want to do more," he replied seriously.

He took a turn to the right, driving down a narrow avenue that was framed by leafless oaks, and then another to the left.

"We should be able to see it in a moment, I think," he muttered.

They were driving toward the sea again, which had to be right, because Mary's cottage was close to it.

"Huh." Edward was getting a little frustrated. He was the first one to admit that his sense of direction wasn't the greatest, but it couldn't be that difficult. There was literally nothing here.

"Could that be it, do you think?"

Bella pointed out her window. He looked.

There, on a small hill leading to the sea, was the cottage he had seen on the pictures Mary had mailed him. As they came closer, he saw the white picket fence and the little shed, which, Mary had told him, held wood for the fireplace.

"Yes," Edward said. "This should be it. Let's see if the keys fit, shall we?"

**oOo**


	97. Chapter 97

**oOo**

Bella couldn't find the right words. The cottage was perfect.

Once Edward had carried their suitcases inside, they stood and looked around. The main room held a big, comfy couch, two armchairs, and a huge fireplace. A dining table was placed by the large windows overlooking the sea, and there was an open kitchen. The interior was simple but elegant, and had clearly been selected by someone with a great sense of style.

"This is… wonderful," she said slowly, feeling slightly overwhelmed.

Edward pulled her in his arms.

"It is," he murmured, gently kissing her ear. "And to think that we have it all to ourselves…" His lips moved lower, nibbling softly, making her sigh.

"You want to have sex on a rug in front of the fire?" she said, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

"No, darling," he whisper-growled. "Not sex. I'm going to make _love_ to you, I'm going to devour you. I'll kiss every inch of your body. I'll lick you all over, Bella. All over."

She swallowed. His breath was hot on her neck.

"Does that sound good, my love?"

"Y-yes…"

And then, surprising her totally, he looked at her with a smirk.

"Let's go and look at the other rooms, okay?"

Trying to shake off her erotic stupor, she let him grab her hand and followed him upstairs.

The bedroom was furnished in dark woods, with a king-sized bed. There was another fireplace, and the windows looked out on the seafront.

Edward set down their luggage and inspected the bathroom.

"Woo, look," he exclaimed, and Bella joined him.

The bathroom was clearly the most luxurious of all the rooms. The tiles were a light green, matching the towels, the curtains, and even the toothbrush holders. An old-fashioned tub was placed beneath the window, and there was also a shower.

"Tsk, tsk, Aunt Mary," Edward chuckled. "Never thought she'd do anything so fancy."

"I can't decide what I want to do first," Bella sighed happily. "Cook in that kitchen, or take a bath with you, or have you lick me all over… like you said."

She could feel her cheeks warm. Despite all the times they had been together, she felt a bit shy.

"Ungh." Edward groaned playfully and squeezed her ass. "We still have to get some groceries, you know that, love, don't you?"

"Later," she said decisively, and pulled him back into the bedroom.

.

"Edward," she murmured later. Her head was on his chest and her fingers made patterns on his skin.

They were both exhausted and in a bubble of bliss.

"Hmm?" He kissed her temple.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." He sought out her eyes, frowning slightly, not knowing what to expect.

"How… How many women have you… have you been with?"

Edward made a little, surprised sound.

"Why do you want to know?"

"That bad?"

"No. No, I don't think so." He placed his finger under her chin. She complied and looked at him.

His green eyes were as clear and loving as always. There was a small, considerate smile playing around his lips.

"I didn't make any notches in my bedpost," he said slowly.

"More than ten?"

"Yes." His face became serious. "Baby, why –"

"Less than twenty?"

Edward nodded decidedly. He framed her cheek with one large hand.

"Is that something you think about?"

"Sometimes." She bit her lip.

"Bella." He moved them around until he was on top of her. He looked almost fierce as he spoke.

"I love you. What we have is so much more than I ever dared to dream."

"Bu –"

"No. No buts, darling. I love you, and I adore you. And I want you, more than I can remember ever wanting a woman. Can you feel this?"

He was referring to his growing reaction to her naked body.

She nodded, and swallowed.

"You do this to me."

"I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I… I didn't mean to be nosy. I just…"

"Shh." Finally, he silenced her with a kiss. "Don't. The past is in the past. Okay?"

"Okay," she whispered.

He wished that it could always be so easy.

**oOo**


	98. Chapter 98

**oOo**

They spent the first night at the cottage in front of the fireplace, snuggled up to each other, kissing and talking. Everything was light and warm.

They slept soundly and deeply, the murmur of the sea accompanying their dreams.

New Year's Eve came with a shopping list and a trip to Penarth to finally buy some groceries. It started to snow in the early afternoon, and Bella and Edward watched the flakes float down from the upstairs bathroom window, where they were having a long, hot bath.

Edward sighed comfortably. Things between them were still so new, but when Bella was in his arms, like now, it felt perfect and natural. Everything about her appealed to him. Her fingers, as they braided with his. Her hair, with its clean, flowery scent. Her pale skin. Her delicious breasts.

Her breasts – Edward wanted to write them a symphony, or a sonnet.

Unfortunately, he couldn't do either.

"I'm getting pruny," she remarked. "And so are you." She kissed his fingertips. "We should get out."

Edward kissed her neck.

"Okay."

Seconds later, he was presented with her beautiful backside, watching as she slipped into a thick bathing gown.

"Come on," she grinned. "Or do you want to keep staring at me?"

Edward nodded enthusiastically, which made her giggle. He only climbed out of the tub when she went into the bedroom. He wrapped a towel around his waist and followed her.

The sight before him made him gasp, made his breath hitch and his mouth gape open.

Bella was draped on the bed, smiling angelically, the robe slipping down her shoulders. Her hair was flowing down her back, her cheeks a lovely pink shade. Huge, luminous eyes cast their spell on him.

"Baby…"

"Yes?"

Her smile was at once seductive and naïve, playful and sweet.

"Don't move."

And Edward darted downstairs to fetch his drawing pad and his pencils.

She had not moved when he returned seconds later, still only clad in a towel and slightly out of breath. He looked at her. The light from the fireplace gave her hair a chestnut shine.

"Don't move," he repeated, his voice husky and urgent.

He grabbed his glasses and sat down, and continued to look at her, his mind working with lightning speed.

His pencil touched the paper, and he was gone, lost in his own world as he captured the beauty before him. He worked swiftly, his decisions happening on an unconscious level. Once, he had to get up.

"Can I move this?" he asked, his thumb inching into the fuzzy material of her robe, pushing it lower until he was able to see a bit of cleavage.

Bella smiled, so he pushed the robe still lower. He revealed half a nipple. Bella grinned.

"Do I amuse you?"

"Do you have any idea how hot you look?" she whispered, watching him intently. "Almost naked, with your glasses…"

Edward shook his head.

"You're impossible." He gave her lips a small peck and returned to his original position.

His hand was working without any conscious support from his brain and he let it happen. As if directed from a different, secret source, he sketched what he saw: a mesmerizing young woman.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

He looked up. Bella didn't look too happy and Edward realized he hadn't noticed how much time must have passed.

"Do you think you'll be finished soon? Because I'm getting a little cold…"

"God, I'm sorry."

One more line, and he put his work aside: He knew he'd set down what he needed. The rest would follow in his studio.

Edward stepped to the bed and crawled over her, kissing her arm, her shoulder, her collarbone, feeling her skin react with goose bumps that were not caused by the cold.

"Then I'll have to warm you up, I guess," he whispered, and skimmed his nose over her nipple.

"Yes," she replied, but it was swallowed by a delighted moan.

**oOo**


	99. Chapter 99

**oOo**

"It's delicious."

Bella's eyes were dancing with mirth as she chewed on another piece of cheese-covered French bread.

It had been Edward's idea to make a fondue, which was a tradition at his parents' house, and he was more than happy to see that Bella enjoyed it. They had a bottle of Sancerre to go with it, complimenting the rich meal.

Bella looked so beautiful, so at ease. They had, of course, spent the afternoon making love after he had finished sketching her. He was eager to begin working on the picture in earnest once they were back in London. It had been a long time since he'd felt that sort of inspiration. It wasn't just about painting Bella, it was herself, her youth, her lightness, her spirit, her joy.

They chatted about this and that while they ate, and gentle piano music was playing in the background. Their fingers touched frequently, and when their eyes met, they shared smiles of intimacy.

It was after ten when they cleared away the dishes and got comfortable on the sofa with their glasses of wine. The fire was crackling. Bella kissed him softly.

"Do you have any New Year's resolutions?" she asked, passing one finger over his chin. "I like it when you don't shave," she murmured.

"Well, that's my resolution number one then," Edward chuckled.

"But I don't want you to get a beard," she added earnestly, sitting up and twining her arms around his neck. "I like you just like this."

To underline her statement, she kissed the side of his mouth, his cheek, and his chin.

"You're adorable," he sighed, cupping her face with both hands and pulling her into a long and very thorough kiss. She tasted like white wine and peaches, and it was easy to lose himself in her.

His left hand was sneaking back to her breasts, his very own place of worship.

_So soft…_

"Hmm?"

Bella pulled back and looked at him.

"So soft," he repeated, only now realizing that he had mumbled the words against her lips. His breath was speeding up.

Bella giggled a little.

"You know that I'm really shy about my breasts, don't you?"

"No," he murmured against her neck. "I don't know anything of the sort…" He breathed her in. "You smell so good…"

Bella sighed when he stopped talking and nibbled a path down her neck, pulling her sweater a little to the side, revelling in her smooth skin.

"I think my New Year's resolution is to spend as much time as possible kissing you," she whispered against his temple. Her fingers were in his hair, tugging slightly, which made him moan.

It was an hour later that they both remembered what day it was.

"Oh dear," Bella said, looking at the antique grandfather clock. "It's ten to midnight."

"It is?" Edward placed one last kiss on her ear. "Well, funny how time flies, huh?"

"Come on, let's open the champagne and go outside. I'm sure we'll be able to see some fireworks from here."

A few minutes later, they had pulled on their boots and coats. Bella carried two glasses and Edward the champagne as they stepped out the back door onto the patio, which led to the beach. The moon was almost full, and the water wore a magical silver glitter.

Edward poured the champagne while Bella, who had grabbed his wristwatch from where he'd set it down on the coffee table, counted down.

"Three, two, one – Happy New Year!"

They klinked their glasses together and had a sip before their mouths met again.

"Happy New Year, my love," he whispered against her lips. "May it bring all the happiness you deserve."

"Happy New Year," she replied. "I always want you to be happy, too."

"I'm happy as long as you're with me," he sighed, and wrapped her in his arms and held her as close as possible.

**oOo**


	100. Chapter 100

**oOo **

Her back to his front, he had his arms around her, and she had her arms around his, and her feet were tucked up between his calves. They were a perfect bundle.

Edward felt her even breathing, but he was too happy to fall asleep. He buried his face in her neck, inhaling the scent of her skin. For once, he didn't want to be somewhere else, and he didn't want a drink. Right here, in his arms, he held everything he needed.

He placed a soft kiss on her shoulder and finally closed his eyes. Within minutes, he was carried away on feather-light clouds.

When he woke again, the room was filled with sunlight. Bella had turned around in his arms and was peppering his chin with gentle kisses while her fingers were drawing patterns on his back.

"You're awake," she murmured, sounding quite sleepy.

"Mmm-hmm…" He kissed her hair. "And what a fantastic way to wake up, too…"

She ran one toe up his leg and nestled her head under his chin, fitting there as if they were meant to be this way. He wrapped her closer into his arms. She felt so small and fragile, but he knew that she was strong, much stronger than he was, if not physically then mentally.

"Happy new year," she murmured against his skin.

"Happy new year, my love," he replied, aware of the significance of the words.

Bella hooked her leg around his hip, as if she couldn't get close enough. Her fingers drifted lower, from his back to his buttocks. Edward's heart was beating faster, and he could feel himself stir as Bella moved against him. Her lips were on his neck, open-mouthed kisses alternating with nibbles and licks. He moaned softly, and let his hand wander to her breast. Her breath caught as his thumb brushed over her nipple.

"Your breasts are spectacular," he murmured thickly. "So soft…"

"Mmm…"

Her lips moved higher, until their mouths met in a hungry, frenzied kiss. There was nothing playful about it, tongues and lips and teeth devouring, searching, leaving them breathless.

And then, she wrapped her fingers around him, and Edward shuddered with joy. Gently, she pushed him to his back, moving with him until she was on top. Her hair was dishevelled from last night, and her cheeks were rosy. She was so beautiful. How could she ever have thought she wasn't the most beautiful girl in the world?

"You're so beautiful, love…" He swallowed and ran his hands up her body, lightly squeezing her breasts, one finger travelling higher, tracing her lower lip. She surprised him by licking it, and then taking it in her mouth, swirling her tongue around it.

He groaned at the sight. Bella smiled, her chest heaving and setting rapidly. Finally, she sank down on him, and the relief at being joined again mixed with an overpowering pleasure and desire.

He watched her, falling and rising slowly, looking at him. Huge, dark eyes that were full of bliss and warmth. Edward couldn't even remember feeling that close to anyone.

"I love you," he sighed, and Bella's swollen lips lifted up into a sensuous little smile. She moved forward until her breasts touched his chest. Her lips were on his again.

"I love you too, Edward. So much…"

And then, there were no more words, only passion and reverence and the utter perfection of being together.

**oOo**

**Thank you so much for the support you're giving me!**


	101. Chapter 101

**oOo**

It was hard to say goodbye to the cottage. They'd had a wonderful time there – even if they spent the majority of their stay inside the bedroom. They had, however, taken a couple of walks by the sea. It had been liberating and relaxing for both of them to get out of the city.

"Imagine living here," Bella murmured dreamily as they drove away. It had started to rain, a slow, grey drizzle that beat a soothing tattoo on the car's roof.

"Could you?" He looked at her from the corner of his eye. "See yourself here?"

"I don't know. It'd be rather lonely, don't you think?"

"But so quiet."

"Do you think you could work here?"

She reached over and placed her hand on his thigh. As always, her touch made his heart beat faster.

"Didn't you see me work the other day?"

He smiled as he thought back to sketching her half-naked, stretched out on the bed…

"Oh yes, I did, Mr. Cullen."

She gave his thigh a small squeeze.

"Will you sit for me again?"

He raised an eyebrow at her, smiling.

"Maybe…" she replied, but he knew she was teasing him. "You do have a bit of work to do until the exhibition, don't you?"

Edward nodded his head. As much as he would have loved to lock himself in with his beautiful girlfriend, he knew that real life was calling them back. He had more than enough material for the exhibition, but he had begun to work on a few paintings that were a little different from his usual style. All of them had been started since Bella stepped into his life. He wanted to add something that stated very clearly the new phase in his work. He couldn't name it yet, but he knew that something was changing.

"Yeah," he sighed.

The rain was getting harder, pelting against the roof of the Volvo.

"I'm meeting Mike the day after tomorrow to discuss the details. I'm afraid he wants to make a big event of the vernissage." He rubbed his eyebrow.

"Don't you?"

"You know I'm a party pooper."

That made her laugh.

"Then I'll have to come and make sure you have a nice time."

"I think I like that idea."

Luckily, he had to stop at a traffic light, which gave him a chance to kiss her.

.

None of them could bear the thought of spending the night apart, and they stopped at Bella's so she could collect a few items of fresh clothing and a couple of books she needed to read.

"I don't want to go back to school yet," she sighed that night, snuggling into the crook of Edward's arm.

He was trying to find something decent to watch on the telly. He dropped the remote and kissed her hair.

"You love what you do," he murmured.

"I do." Turning on her side, she hooked one leg over his. "But I feel so lazy right now. I want to stay here with you for ever."

With one decided move, Edward pulled her on top of him.

"Then do," he whispered between kisses.

The double meaning of his words was not lost on him.

**oOo**


	102. Chapter 102

**oOo**

The first weeks of January brought icy cold and temperatures down to fifteen or less degrees. The streets were covered with a thick layer of snow that swiftly turned into a grey, muddy substance.

Bella was freezing all the time. No matter how many layers of clothing she put on, she was cold. Well, with the exception of one factor: she was never cold when she was with Edward. He kept his house extra-warm for her, and she would mostly be in his arms, anyway. Edward's arms were wonderfully warm and strong.

Right now, she felt incredibly cold though, hurrying as she made her way from King's Cross to the British Library. It was snowing again, and she pulled her muffler tighter. She couldn't wait to get back to Edward, who had send her a text an hour ago, asking if she wanted soup for dinner. He was going to order in from their favourite restaurant, the New Lotus Garden.

The mere thought of their hot and sour soup with vegetable dumplings made her lick her lips. She hurried across the snow-white piazza and was still shivering when she entered the vast entrance hall.

She knew her way about and fifteen minutes later, was sitting in one of the crowded reading rooms on the second floor with her laptop and three books that were long out of print.

Time flew as she scribbled down notes, compared theses and looked up references. She was surprised when she looked up and realized that it was getting dark outside. It was almost half past five, and it would take her half an hour to return her books and collect her coat, and another half hour to get to Edward.

If anything, it had gotten even colder outside, and Bella hurried as much as she could without slipping and falling on the muddy spots where the streets had not been gritted.

The tube was crammed due to the rush hour. Everybody was in a foul mood because of the ongoing cold. A baby screamed and a guy with headphones was drumming a rhythm on the handrail. Bella's relief was immense when she could leave the train.

Another ten minutes later, she rang Edward's doorbell. He would usually open the door very quickly, which she always found endearing.

Today, he took his time. She frowned. Maybe he had gone out to get the soup?

No, that wouldn't make any sense. He would have called her, or sent a text.

She rang again.

Finally, she heard him, and a smile lifted the corners of her mouth.

"Darling. Sorry I made you wait. I was upstairs, working."

"No problem," she smiled.

He looked too adorable. His hair stood in wild tufts of bronze and auburn. He was wearing jeans and a flannel shirt, both of which were dotted with splodges of paint, as were his hands and forearms. His cheeks were pink.

"Hey." She stepped in and took off her boots and hung up her coat before she kissed him in greeting.

And realized that Edward smelled like whisky.

**oOo**

**I'm soooooorry! I promise these two will be okay, but it will take some time – I don't want this to be too unrealistic.**

**Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your wonderful support. I said it before and I will say it again: I couldn't do it without you. You guys are so funny and inspiring and immensely helpful, and I am deeply grateful to have such wonderful readers. Sorry I was bad at replying to your reviews these last days.**

**So here comes the bad news: there will not be any updates the following week. There's just too much going on right now, and I don't want to give you crappy chapters. I'm terribly sorry if you're disappointed, but I'll see you all on February 10.**

**Have a good time and take care!**

**Love and hugs and kisses**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	103. Chapter 103

**oOo**

Edward went to his studio about midday, after he'd dealt with one of his agent's daily phone calls.

Bella hadn't spent the night, which was a rarity these days, but she had wanted to get a lot of work done and was planning to go to the British Library for some research in the afternoon.

Edward knew that he needed to finish two paintings he had started. The exhibition wasn't even four weeks away, and he still hadn't decided which pictures he was going to hang.

Bella brought him the inspiration he had been wanting for a long time. The drawing of her he'd brought from Wales had flourished into a painting. It showed her, not on a bed and in her robe, but in a meadow, sleeping on the grass.

He hadn't yet asked her whether it would be okay to include it in the show. The original sketch had shown a bit of nipple, which the finished work did not. Naked Bella belonged to himself alone.

Edward tried to work all afternoon, but found it hard to concentrate. His thoughts kept flitting here and there. Bella was always on his mind, and he imagined what she was doing and remembered their little holiday.

His mother had phoned the other day, and although she never voiced her thoughts, Edward knew that she was eager to meet his girlfriend. He wanted them to meet, too. After all, Bella had introduced him to her family, and they had been nothing but kind and respectful. He had no doubt his parents would show Bella the same friendliness, as would Rosalie and Emmett.

Maybe it was that he wanted to keep her to himself a little longer. Things had become so intense between them in such a short period of time.

He'd never experienced anything like this.

He and Irina had known each other for months before they even realized they were falling in love. He had no precedent he could follow. Everything was new.

Edward had never been an overtly jealous person, but with Bella, he found himself quite a bit possessive. He didn't like this new streak in himself very much.

Edward groaned when he realized that he'd been staring out of the window for thirty minutes. He returned to easel, but nothing he did sat right with him.

By four-thirty, he wandered down into the kitchen to get a cup of tea. Waiting for the water to boil, he pondered his creative block, which led to his old solution to most problems.

A drop of brandy might do the trick. He just needed to stop thinking. About the past, the present…

Edward fetched the bottle from the pantry and poured himself a small shot of Glenlivet, downing it swiftly. He poured another one and took it upstairs.

Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was that his system needed the familiarity of the procedure. He felt free to let go of his thoughts and just listen to his instinct.

He painted for an hour, only pausing once to take a sip of his second drink. His paintbrush seemed to move of its own volition. Things were getting into shape.

When the doorbell rang, it startled Edward and he felt almost as if wakened from a trance. He put another two strokes down before he went to get it.

Bella looked enchanting, her pale face a mirror to his own joy. She smiled as she took off her coat and boots before she kissed him.

"Hey," he mumbled against her mouth. "You're so cold." He pulled her close.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?" he nuzzled her nose with his.

"Did you… Did you drink, Edward?"

"Oh, that." He scratched his ear. "It was just a kick-start to get going."

He kissed her cheek and they walked to the living room. He couldn't interpret her face as they sat down.

"I haven't ordered the soup yet," he said. "If you want, we can have something else."

"No, no," she said. A smile was on her lips, but her eyes were far away. "Let's order soup. I've been looking forward to that all day."

**oOo**

**Hello, my darling readers, I'm back. RL is somewhat difficult right now, which resulted in me having a severe case of writer's block. I will try to keep up with the daily updates, but there are no guarantees. **

**Love to you all!**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	104. Chapter 104

**oOo**

Bella was very quiet over dinner. She didn't touch the spring rolls, and only had one or two sips of the Riesling Edward had opened. She looked pale, he thought.

He asked how her day was and she shrugged and said that the library had been busy, but she'd been able to finish her work.

"You look tired, darling," he remarked. He took her hand and squeezed lightly.

"I'm okay."

But she seemed far away and withdrawn.

She went through her notes after dinner, so Edward returned to his studio to look at this afternoon's work. He needed to go over the details, but the general direction was exactly what he'd intended. A young woman at a station, waving her hand at a leaving train. In the distance, there was a man waving back from one of the train's windows.

Edward was surprised by the knock on the door and when he turned, Bella was peeking in.

"I didn't mean to disturb you…"

"You aren't." He stretched out his hand for her. "Come in."

"Wow. That's beautiful."

She put her head against his chest and wrapped her arms around him.

"I'm sorry I was so moody just now."

Edward kissed the top of her head, inhaling her lovely, familiar scent.

"There's nothing to apologize for," he murmured. "Were you thinking about your work?"

"Um… yeah. I guess."

A sigh left her chest and she snuggled up closer to him.

"I love you, Edward," she whispered. "I love you so much."

.

Later, when they were in bed, and she was asleep in his arms, he couldn't stop thinking.

Were they moving too fast? Was he being too possessive?

If it were for him, Bella could move in tomorrow. He would never want anybody else, of that he was certain.

She was the one who could restore him. She already had.

He knew he hadn't been able to find closure with his past for a long time, but since Bella had stepped into his life, those demons didn't torture him any more. As long as she was here, with him, in his arms, his fountain of youth, his saviour, he could heal.

He was realizing that he had let Irina go at some point over the years; what he had not been able to escape from was the guilt he felt over the circumstances of her death.

He knew, of course, that he was not really responsible. He'd talked about it with his therapist back then. And still.

By three-thirty, Edward gave up on sleep. He loosened his hold from Bella, who had turned to her side, placed a gentle kiss on her hair, and tiptoed out of the bedroom.

Once in his studio, he put on an old sweater that hung over a chair and considered his painting.

It needed more purple, he found, and maybe some dark blue.

Edward stretched his fingers and collected the material he needed, finding the forgotten tumbler of Glenlivet next to the cupboard. It couldn't hurt to take a swig, he decided.

**oOo**

**Thank you for your reviews and BIG thanks for SunflowerFran3759 for the help!**


	105. Chapter 105

**oOo**

Bella was nervous.

Alice and Jasper were having a dinner party and, naturally, had invited her and Edward to come. It would be a small thing, Alice had said, which didn't help one bit to ease Bella's anxiety. That way, Jasper would just be able to interrogate Edward the better.

Or would he do that?

Bella sighed as she brushed her hair in front of her bathroom mirror. She was spending so many nights at Edward's, her own flat seemed cold and uninhabited.

He was going to collect her in half an hour, and he'd sounded quite cheerful on the telephone just now. He had finished his painting of the couple waving at the station this afternoon, and was planning to put the finishing touches on another painting the next day.

With the exhibition only two weeks away, he was working like a madman, often staying up into the small hours. Bella suspected that some amount of whisky was involved in his nightly sessions, but whenever she tried to broach the subject, Edward would tell her he only used it to "get going" – whatever that meant.

Bella was aware of the fact that many artists drank, and on some level, she didn't want to judge. Who was she, after all, to understand the workings of a great mind such as Edward's?

She only hoped that he knew what he was doing, but as far as she could see, he did. He liked to have a couple of glasses of wine, yes, but many people did. Just because she didn't drink much didn't mean that he couldn't.

Shaking her head free of her musings, she put on mascara and a tiny bit of rouge, slipped into her dark blue, knitted dress, and put on a pair of black pumps.

Edward was very appreciative of the shoes once he'd arrived, grinning and softly biting her ear, whispering some sweet and dirty words that made her skin tingle.

"You didn't drive?" she said as they stepped outside and a taxi was waiting.

"No." He cocked his head to one side. "I thought I might have a drink or two."

Bella said nothing and he opened the door of the car for her.

"That okay?" he asked before she could get in.

"Yes, sure."

He took her hand when they were sitting side by side.

"You're awfully tense, love."

"I know, I'm sorry."

She sighed. Edward kissed her cheek.

"What is it?" he murmured, gently nuzzling his nose along her jaw line.

But she couldn't tell Edward that she was scared about him and Jasper meeting because Jasper had, time and again, told her not to get involved with him.

"It's nothing." She turned so she could catch his lips with hers, and that helped. Warm and familiar, and pure Edward. She would never get enough of him, and no matter how difficult he might be at times, she wanted this to work, because she knew that Edward was it for her. The right one.

The only one.

**oOo**


	106. Chapter 106

**oOo**

"Bella!"

The small woman hugged Bella closely upon their arrival.

"Alice, sweetie, it's so good to see you!" Bella smiled and grabbed Edward's hand once she was out of Alice's embrace. "Meet Edward."

They shook hands while Bella introduced them properly. They shed their coats and followed Alice down the hall and into the dining room. It wasn't a large room, but warm and welcoming. Five people were at the table, one of them a dark blond guy who got up to kiss Bella's cheeks.

"Hi," he said,. "I'm Jasper."

"Edward. Thank you for the invitation."

The doorbell rang again and Alice went to get it while Jasper poured glasses of champagneande introduced him to the other guests while Bella exchanged hugs and kisses with everyone.

The man with dark curls and a beard was Jared, and the pale girl with enormous glasses next to him was his girlfriend, Kim. Peter was the one with a round, smiling face, and his wife Charlotte looked extremely pregnant.

Bella gave him a sweet smile once they'd sat down, as if saying, _don't worry_.

Next to arrive were a couple named Victor and James, and the party was complete. Conversation was light and humorous, and while they were having an excellent asparagus cream soup, Edward realized that he was having a nice time. Not that he deemed himself incapable of having a nice time. It was just that he wasn't really used to being with people. Except Bella. And before her, he'd really mostly been by himself, excepting the Sunday teas with his family.

He looked at her, and she was smiling. A rosy glow covered her cheeks, making her look even younger and joyful. Edward smiled back and gave her hand a small squeeze.

"Bella told us about your exhibition next month, Edward," Alice said. "That sounds exciting!"

"It is," he replied, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "Especially everything that surrounds it. My agent is driving me nuts about it."

"It's going to be big?" the redhead, Victor, asked.

"At the Saatchie Gallery," Bella responded for him.

"Aren't they just about selling the stuff?"

Edward looked at James, Victor's boyfriend, who had said it. The vibes coming from him had been anything but friendly all this time.

"Yes," he said. "Anything wrong with that?"

"I always believed that an artist works primarily for his art."

"You mean to be truly an artist you have to be starving?" Edward retorted.

"Well, that's just silly," Alice interrupted. "A lot of it depends on luck, too, doesn't it?"

"I guess so," Edward said. "I'd be a painter no matter if I made money with it."

He saw that Victor had another bitchy remark on his lips, but luckily, Jasper chose that moment to appear with the main course – a roast venison with potatoes, and grilled egg plant for Bella. The food was amazing, and once the conversation centred on other topics, he relaxed and enjoyed his dinner, the lovely Barolo, and the company of friendly people – excepting Victor.

It was long past midnight when they said their goodbyes. Alice kissed his cheeks and declared that they needed to meet again soon, and Jasper smiled as they shook hands.

"Glad we finally met," he said. "Take care of our girl."

His words made Edward's heart feel warm and fluffy, and he pulled Bella in his arms once they were in a cab driving them to Maida Vale.

Taking care of her, making sure she was happy, was all he ever wanted.

**oOo**

**Thank you so much for your reviews, you guys make me so happy. I'm sorry I'm bad at replying right now, but please know that I am very, very grateful for your support. **


	107. Chapter 107

**oOo**

As February arrived, it got warmer, but also very rainy.

Things at Whitlock's Brand were slow, which was okay with Bella, who had to write an essay on the social origins of speech patterns and was up to her ears in work.

Edward was putting the last touches on the painting he had named _Winter in Wales_. It depicted a rough sea and a barren beach. The only bright spot was a solitary figure in a yellow raincoat and wellies. Despite her being alone, it was clear that she was content.

It was one of Bella's favourites.

With the opening only ten days away, a lorry had taken a lot of Edward's works to the gallery. She could tell he was getting nervous, and more often than not, he spent half the night at his studio. He would go to bed with her and she'd fall asleep, and then, at some point during the night, he would leave her side because he couldn't sleep.

She didn't question him, respecting that this was the way he worked, and had been for many years. As long as he was with her in the morning – and he always was – it was okay with her.

Bella had no problem allowing others their freedom. In Edward's case, it was his need to be by himself, which she understood.

They were learning more about each other every day, and there was little about Edward she didn't like. He was not without his faults, but even his faults were endearing. His little quirks made him more lovable.

He was extremely attentive and sweet, always wanting to make sure she was well and happy. With Edward, there were so many small things that made her feel cherished and cared for, be it a foot massage or a cup of coffee on waking. He never stopped telling her that she was beautiful, and sometimes, when she was in his arms, she could believe him.

She had never experienced the sort of physical bond she had with Edward with anybody else. They were effortless, they were perfection.

She had also never experienced the kind of physical pleasure he brought her. She still tended to be shy sometimes, for the simple fact that he was much more experienced, but he had this way of making her feel at ease. She could fly with him.

Edward was thoughtful on many levels. He kept the chestnut that she had given him early on during one of their walks in the park. It was on the table in his studio. On a tiny pillow of blue velvet. Her eyes had grown wet when she noticed it the first time.

It was a grey Thursday, one week before the opening, and she was summarizing notes in the library, when her phone beeped softly with an incoming message.

_My mum called & invited us for Sunday tea. Would that be okay with you? All my love, my lovely love, E._

She smiled. He'd mentioned that his mother wanted to meet her, and Bella was glad if it didn't have to take place the first time at the exhibition. From what Edward told her, there was no reason to be wary of his family, and she already knew Rosalie, who'd been extremely kind that night in October when Bella had ruined her shirt.

_Of course, _she replied._ I'll be home in an hour, love you._

It was only when she had pressed the _send_ button that she realized what she'd written, and blushed from the roots of her hair downward.

**oOo**

**Okay, I have a question for you. With my current schedule, I am not able to give you a fresh chapter every day. Would you rather have a couple of chapters a week, or longer breaks in between and accordingly more chapters in a row?**

**This story started as something fun and short to help me over a dry spell – and it has become much bigger. I love the way you react and how you love Edward despite his problems… But I have to give him time to heal if I want to do it right. **

**I have UNFOLDING figured out and I promise not to abandon it, but I can't keep up the tempo.**

**Please tell me your thoughts.**

**Love,**

**harperpitt**


	108. Chapter 108

**oOo**

"Edward?"

He turned around at her soft voice, and gasped.

She was standing in the door to his studio, naked. Her hair was falling in dark waves down her shoulders, and her eyes were fiery.

She was holding two glasses of red wine.

"I thought this might help you relax," she said. "You seemed so tense at dinner."

Edward's mind was reeling.

Paint her.

Make love to her.

She'd never done anything so… daring.

He swallowed.

Bella came in, slowly walking to him. She was more than beautiful, she was exquisite, divine.

"Baby…" He touched her hipbone, remembering too late that his fingers had bits of paint on them. There was a small, yellow spot on her flawless skin when his hand moved further, stroking over her thigh and to her buttock, leaving a trail of colour.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered, his voice hoarse.

She didn't move, just smiled enigmatically.

"Would you like a sip?" she asked, slightly raising one glass of wine.

"Would I… Do you know what I want?"

He took both glasses from her and placed them on the table, next to his palette. His pointer finger seemed to move without his volition, dipping into the blue.

Bella was watching him, curious but patient.

He drew a heart above her heart, feeling and seeing her shudder under his touch.

"Are you cold?"

She shook her head, her eyes never leaving his.

"But it looks like you're cold."

His finger made a line to her right breast.

"I'm not."

He saw her swallow. He saw the glint in her eye.

His hand left a pale mark of blue on her stomach.

"I think I'd like some pink," she said.

"Where?"

"Here."

Blushing, she pointed to her nipple.

"It's already pink, love."

"Pinker, then."

He returned to his palette and squeezed some white into the red.

"Like this?"

He held up his finger.

"Yes."

Her nipples stiffened under his touch, which made him stiffen in response.

"Do you have any idea how erotic this is?" he asked.

"Do you have any idea how much I want to do the same to you?" she echoed.

"What do you mean?"

"Take off your clothes," she said. Seeing him swallow, she added, "please?"

She watched him as he got rid of his T-shirt and pants, raising her eyebrows when he hesitated before removing his underpants.

Stepping to the table, she raised a tube of paint.

"This stuff is expensive, isn't it?"

"Fuck it," Edward replied.

He moaned when her fingers made his abdomen yellow.

"You're beautiful," she whispered as her finger circled his bellybutton.

"I'm not. You are."

He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist as they began to kiss. It was hungry and frenzied and sexy, and he groaned when her breasts pressed against his chest. He could feel her, wet and warm, on his stomach.

"Edward…" Breathless words against his lips. "I want you… I love you… "

He set her down on his worktable and shoved everything out of the way. The glasses of wine fell and their content ran in red droplets down the table and on the wooden floor. Taking her in, he almost growled. She was superb, all dainty white and bright colours. His very own canvas.

Fingers explored and teased, sighs and whispers mixed. He sucked and licked, revelling in her sweet taste, and she shuddered in response. She was a miracle, a naked miracle, spread out before him.

Bella's fingers gripped his shoulders as she welcomed him, slick hotness enveloping him. Her eyes were open and she watched him with a wild and predatory look, breathing his name.

When their passion found its peak, she clung to him and he came apart. It was their very own little heaven.

**oOo**

**My dear, dear readers,**

**Your response to the last chapter overwhelmed me. Thank you so, so much for your support. I'm humbled by your faith in me and the love for my story. **

**I will try to update a couple of times a week for the time being. **

**Thank you.**

**Love,**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	109. Chapter 109

**oOo**

"Relax." Edward smiled at her, taking her hand and kissing it.

"I know." She shrugged self-consciously. "Sorry I'm so mousy."

Edward laughed.

"You're anything but mousy, love. I wish you could see yourself more clearly."

"Are you sure your mum will like the cake?"

She looked at the result of last night's baking. She'd had to transfer some of her kitchen equipment to Edward's house – the man did not possess a single cake-tin!

She had made an almond-chocolate cake, which according to Edward, everyone in his family would love.

It was a mild, rainy day and she'd been nervous since waking. Well, Edward had distracted her _directly_ on waking. She blushed as she remembered how he had kissed his way down her body until his head had vanished under the blanket.

"You look lovely," Edward assured her and rang the doorbell.

A couple of seconds later, a stunning woman in her sixties opened the door. Bella recognized her from photos she'd seen over the years, only she had an aura of warmth the pictures didn't capture. She had Edward's vibrant green eyes and his caramel-coloured hair – only hers was arranged in dainty waves, while his stuck out in all directions.

Her smile was big and genuine.

"Edward. And you must be Bella."

She took Bella's hands into both of hers, which were soft and warm.

"Welcome to our family, Bella. I'm Esme."

"Thank you for inviting me," Bella replied.

Esme hugged her son, who was almost a foot taller, and patted his cheeks, telling him he looked quite healthy, at which he rolled his eyes good-naturedly.

Bella handed Esme the cake and she gushed about it while they shed their coats and followed Esme down the hallway. The interior was elegant, a far cry from the Swans' home. Valuable antiques and precious materials made the house look very stylish and upper class.

Bella tried not to be overawed. She grabbed Edward's hand before they entered the living room. He looked at her, his green eyes warm and compassionate.

"Just be yourself," he murmured against her lips. "I love you."

Feeling somewhat calmer, she took a deep breath and stepped in.

The living room was large and airy, with floor-to-ceiling windows looking out onto the garden. Cream-coloured couches and rows and rows of books dominated the room. There was also a grand piano.

A man who had to be in his late sixties closed the distance between them. His hair was silver, but his facial features clearly betrayed him as Edward's father.

"Edward! It's lovely to see you."

Yes, Bella thought, he had that same irresistible smile.

"Dad, meet my Bella."

They shook hands.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, sir."

She had Googled him last night, and had come to know that he had received the Order of the British Empire, which did not make him Sir Carlisle – or did it? No, he would have to be a Knight of the British Empire… Bella felt her cheeks get hot.

"Please call me Carlisle." He smiled again and, taking her by the elbow, led her to one of the couches.

From the corner of her eye, Bella saw Edward frown and pout his lips, which was a very cute combination. He sat down next to her and took her hand while Carlisle retreated to the liquor cabinet.

"Ro and Emmett should be here presently," Esme announced. "And they're bringing a surprise with them!"

"Mum," Edward groaned. "What did I say about surprises?"

**oOo**

**Have a lovely weekend, everyone!**


	110. Chapter 110

**oOo**

The doorbell rang soon enough and while Esme hurried off to get it, Carlisle handed out glasses of sherry to Edward and Bella.

"Don't worry, Edward," he chuckled. "I can guarantee you it's a surprise you will like."

Only seconds later, a young girl stormed into the room, her blonde curls bobbing as she threw herself on Edward, who was sitting on the sofa.

"I haven't seen you in _ages_!" she squealed, kissing his cheeks.

She was dressed in a mini skirt and UGG boots, and they were not the fake ones that were on Bella's feet. Bella watched the spectacle next to her for a few seconds, too dumbstruck to say anything.

Rosalie and Emmett had entered the room as well, greeting Carlisle and chatting easily. The girl was meanwhile tickling Edward's side, and Bella was beginning to boil inwardly, when Edward finally groaned, "Okay, that's enough, Vera. You're killing your old uncle here."

Bella's smile grew from ear to ear.

_Vera! His niece!_

"Vera, meet my Bella," Edward said.

"Hi, I'm Vera. It's good to meet you, Edward told me tons about you!"

"Hello, Vera. Yes, um he told me a lot about you, too."

Edward chuckled, shaking his head and rubbing his eyebrow.

He got up and greeted his sister and brother-in-law, and Bella followed suit. Rosalie kissed her cheek in greeting, which surprised Bella slightly. Emmett shook her hand and grinned a dimpled grin. He reminded Bella of a big boy with broad shoulders and a happy-go-lucky attitude.

Conversation was animated and relaxed once everyone was sitting down at the table that Esme had loaded with little delicacies. There were cucumber and salmon sandwiches, scones and petit fours, and of course, Bella's cake, which earned her endless compliments.

She was sitting between Edward and Vera, and while everyone else was discussing the upcoming spring season at the Royal Opera House, Vera addressed her.

"Edward told me you're studying Linguistics? It sounds exciting."

"Oh, it is, but it is a lot of work, and I sometimes feel like my head will explode. I never thought it'd be so scientific, you know."

Vera smiled, and it made her whole face light up. She was extraordinarily pretty, with large, blue eyes and a cute, upturned nose. She didn't seem conceited though. Bella could smell that kind of girl a mile away, and Vera was not.

They talked about Bella's degree courses, and Vera had question after question, having just started studying journalism. She was full of fun and anecdotes, but seemed also serious about her career, listening to Bella with big eyes. They progressed to other topics, finding that they shared a few favourite authors – as well as some least favourite ones.

Bella was always aware of Edward's presence next to her, and he would sometimes touch her pinkie with his. It was not noticeable to anyone else, but to them, it meant a lot.

As the afternoon wore on, and Vera and Bella talked a lot more. Bella considered the possibility of them becoming friends. She was certain that Vera and Jackie would get along, and Alice would like her too.

"Hey." His breath was warm on her neck and she could feel his nose by her ear. "I'll call us a cab, okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

"We should get together soon," Vera said.

They had already exchanged phone numbers.

"You're _not_ stealing my girlfriend," Edward joked with a growling undertone.

"Don't be silly." Bella kissed his cheek.

He was rather silent on their way home.

**oOo**

**Thank you for your ongoing support, GableClakie, HockeyChick10, jansails, jimemon, sandy4321, MDtwiwriter, maymay74, debslmac, ksw3, SunflowerFran3759, ttharman, malleelee, eternallyedward, Paaameelaaa, majose, sherylbe, paragod, greeneyeditalian, drlena…**

**Please holler if you weren't included. **

**Thank you for reading.**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	111. Chapter 111

**oOo**

"Emmett is a nice guy," Bella remarked as they were getting ready for bed.

"Did that surprise you?" Edward said.

She was slipping into one of his T-shirts, allowing him a glimpse of her naked body.

Esme had been trying to talk her into eating cake and sandwiches and scones this afternoon, looking like a sad puppy when Bella had only nibbled at the pastries. Esme had stopped after Edward gave her a stern look. Bella's eating disorder was in the past, but some things were hard to overcome. He had grown used to her habits, which didn't bother him as long as she did eat enough, and that was it for the time being.

"No," she replied, climbing into bed next to him, and turning to her side. She pulled the blankets over her shoulder and looked at him.

"I imagined him different, that's all."

"How so?"

Edward yawned slightly and took off his reading glasses so he could see her properly.

She shrugged.

"You know that Jasper knows him from school. From what he said, I though he'd be more… serious."

"Emmett is anything but serious. He's a goof."

"I get that." She smiled and ran two fingers down his bare chest.

"You do," Edward said. "I didn't, until recently."

"What do you mean?"

"When Ro and Emmett married, I wasn't… well, let's say I wasn't at the top of my game. I didn't really get to know him back then because I was too caught up in my own problems."

He pulled her a little closer and Bella rested her head on his chest.

"And now?" she asked.

"Now I have you," he said and kissed her temple. "And I can see more clearly."

"Thank God," she whispered, placing a warm kiss on his chest, following it with a dozen more.

She moved so she was straddling him, her hair stroking over his skin as she kissed her way up until their lips met in a deep, tender kiss.

Edward's hands wandered to her bottom and the fabulous silkiness of her panties. It didn't take long until his fingertips were sliding into her underwear and she answered him with a joyful moan.

She was equally fragile and soft, innocent and sinful. And utterly seductive. Especially now, kissing her way down on his body, her whispered words fanning over his skin. She may have thought of herself as shy in the bedroom, but the effect she had on him was anything but that of a shy woman.

Especially now, as she was pulling at his pyjama pants, making him lift his butt so she could take them off. Her licks and kisses were not those of a shy woman. Her hands, manipulating him in the most delicious ways, were not the hands of a shy woman. And her mouth… A joyous moan escaped his lips as his fingers entangled in her hair.

.

She snuggled up to him with a little smirk on her lips.

"Are you going to work tonight?"

Edward's breathing had just returned to normal and he chuckled.

"Baby, work is the furthest thing from my mind right now."

That seemed to satisfy her, because she closed her eyes and sighed.

"There are other things I'd like to do though," he growled into her ear.

"Huh?"

Her eyes went open.

She squealed when he turned them around and dived beneath the covers.

**oOo**

**Some of you had questions about everyone's ages. Bella is 24, Edward is 40. Rosalie is 44, Emmett is 38. Vera (from Rosalie's marriage with Royce) is 19. Alice is 32 and Jasper 38.**

**Thank you from the deepest depths of my heart for your ongoing support!**

**Love,**

**harperpitt**


	112. Chapter 112

**oOo**

Valentine's Day came with more snow and a great deal of nervousness on Edward's part. The opening of his exhibition was scheduled for the sixteenth, and there was still one blank spot at the gallery because he couldn't decide which painting to hang. He had shown his agent the three possible works, and Michael – as well as everyone else he'd asked – had voted for the one called "The Meadow." It was the picture of Bella sleeping in the grass, a vision of beauty, innocence, and serenity – and sexiness.

He had asked Bella on her feelings about having her picture in a gallery, certain that she'd tell him to forget about it. He was aware of her issues with her body.

Surprisingly, she hadn't.

It was actually Edward who had doubts about sharing it, sharing his idea of her.

He couldn't even explain it. He loved her, he was proud of her and of the fact that she was his… girlfriend. The term sounded childish considering the depth of his emotions for her. He knew quite well what he wanted her to be, but he was old and sensible enough to know his dreams were just that for the time being.

Right now, he was at his studio with all the lights on after a long call with Mike. After all, it was Mike who had this instinct what the public would like, what they would buy. Mike played quite a part in Edward's success, and he had often listened to his agent's advice and it had often been the right decision.

It was just before seven p.m., the sky outside already black and moonless.

Edward was nursing his second glass of whisky, pondering his choice. A car was going to arrive tomorrow morning and take the painting he had picked, so there was no way to procrastinate any longer.

Either the art-loving public would see his Bella in the meadow, or they would be presented with his "Winter in Wales." The first one would undoubtedly garner attention and high bids, as well as a few headlines. The second would give his followers a classic Cullen: wistful but lovely, elusive, sentimental.

"Damn it," he muttered.

He turned away from the two easels. For the moment, he couldn't compare the pictures another moment.

He sat down in the old armchair – a gift from Irina – and put his head in his hands.

Why was this decision so hard to make?

He poured himself another drink, not that inebriation would make it any easier.

Or maybe it would.

He had all night to himself, Bella having agreed to work at a Valentine's Day cocktail party Jasper and Alice were catering. He had tried to convince her to say no, but Bella had argued that she needed the money since things had been extremely quiet on the catering front all January.

Edward wanted to tell her that she didn't need to do it, that he could give her the money for her rent, that she should move in with him, that he was more than able, and willing, to provide for her.

But of course he didn't, because he knew that she would not only never accept, but have his balls for the mere suggestion that she couldn't provide for herself. That was fiercely important to her, and he accepted and respected it. He still would have loved to make things easier for her.

Just so they could celebrate Valentine's Day together.

Instead, Edward gulped down the Glenlivet and resumed staring at the two paintings.

**oOo**

**Oh, Edward…**


	113. Chapter 113

**I love you guys! Almost everyone echoed my "Oh, Edward" remark in the reviews for the last chapter! Thank you for the wonderful support, you make me smile so much. **

**oOo**

"Gosh, I'm tired," Alice sighed. "I never thought this would take us all night."

She leant back and took a sip from her milkshake.

It was late and Bella had agreed to join Alice and Jasper for a tasty after midnight snack at the Burger Palace.

The party had gone longer than anticipated, and especially the cleanup had been tiresome since the club it had taken place at didn't have an elevator. They'd had to carry each and every item down a couple flights of stairs.

All three of them were exhausted. Jasper was inhaling a huge burger and Alice was making her toy from the kids' meal dance across the table – it was a cat in a pink dress.

Bella was nibbling on a fry.

"I'm sorry it ruined your night," Jasper mumbled between two bites of Texas Burger.

"It's okay," she shrugged. "I sent Edward a text earlier and he said he's working. He's pretty nervous about the opening."

"I get that," Alice said. "I was wondering – is this a big, formal thing? I mean, it just says seven p.m. on Saturday…"

"There'll be drinks," Bella said, "and we'll be going on to have dinner afterwards with family and friends."

"Woo-hoo," Alice grinned. "You're have arrived in the world of art, haven't you?"

Bella blushed.

"You know I didn't mean it that way…"

"Of course not, Bella," Jasper assured, wiping his lips with a paper napkin. "We're happy for you. And I _have_ admitted that I was wrong about Edward. He's a great guy, and it's clear that he's not that psycho Emmett told me about… Anyway, that was years ago…."

He seemed to want to go on, but Alice stopped him by shoving a fry in his mouth.

"Oh, shut up, you."

She made the cat dance over Jasper's forearm.

"Let's go home," she grinned. "And enjoy what's left of our Valentine's Day."

Bella sighed, which inspired Alice to purr.

"Don't make that face, Bella-sweetie. The night is still young!"

.

Jasper and Alice gave Bella a ride to Edward's place since it was too late for the tube. Bella hadn't heard from him, which was to be expected if he was still working. She thanked her friends and promised Alice to call the next day so they could talk about their dresses for the opening.

Shivering slightly, she fumbled for the set of keys that Edward had given her and let herself in. It was dark, and the lights from upstairs gave the house a slightly eerie element. The shadows on the wall were stark, looking like some secret signs she couldn't read.

In the half-light, she searched through her bag to retrieve the large chocolate heart she had bought at Harrods. It had been ridiculously expensive, but she'd been so excited to give him something – and she knew he had a sweet tooth.

"Edward?" she called as she walked up the stairs, which even creaked stereotypically.

If this were a horror movie, she thought, the murderer would be right there waiting behind a door.

"Edward?" she repeated, hurrying the last steps, rolling her eyes at herself.

No reply – but she could hear some music, very softly, from his studio. She crossed the remaining distance, and knocked lightly on the half open door.

It took a moment, but then she heard him call, "Yes?"

"Hey."

She peeked in with a smile, ready to present him with her gift.

Edward was sitting on the wooden floor, leaning against the old armchair, a tumbler of whisky in his hand.

"Hey."

He mirrored her smile but she could tell he was drunk.

"C'mere," he said, gesturing for her to join him on the floor.

Despite his state, he looked perversely pretty. His cheeks were rosy from the alcohol, and his hair was dishevelled. His feet were bare, and Bella spotted a large splotch of paint on his big toe.

She sat down next to him. Edward kissed her, and she could taste the liquor on his soft lips.

"Happy Valentine's Day, my love," he murmured.

It was only slightly slurred.

**oOo **


	114. Chapter 114

**oOo**

When the mobile phone on Edward's bedside table started ringing for the third time, Bella'd had it. She had been trying to go back to sleep the two previous times, but since it wasn't going to happen, something obviously needed to be done.

"Edward…"

He was next to her, lying on his side, his arm wound closely around her.

He was fast asleep.

No wonder, after he'd had half a bottle of whisky last night and she had to coax him into bed while he tried to persuade her to sit for him.

He was a charming drunk, she had to admit.

"Edward."

He sighed.

"Edward!"

She shook his arm and he grumbled into her ribcage.

"Edward, your phone!"

"Mmm hmm…"

He snuggled closer into her.

The phone stopped, and began again a second later.

"Ed-ward! Your phone is driving me crazy!"

"Who's it?" he mumbled.

Bella finally reached over him and grabbed it.

"Mike," she read. "Edward," she repeated. She was ready to shake him for real.

"Can you answer it?" he begged in a scratchy voice.

Her experience of hangovers was limited, but she realized how horrible he must be feeling.

Sighing and feeling rather self-conscious, she answered his phone.

"Hello," she said, "this is Bella Swan. I'm sorry but Edward is indisposed right now."

"Oh, fucking hell," a male voice replied. "If he's asleep, just bang him over the head with a rolling pin. I need to speak to him."

"Edward," she hissed. "He seems really angry!"

"Mmm," Edward groaned. "Tell him it's in the studio. The one in the crate."

With that, he turned around, away from her, and pulled the covers over his head.

"_What_?"

"Bella?" the man on the phone demanded. "This is Michael Newton, his agent. Give me Edward!"

"I'm sorry, but he…"

Edward was snoring softly.

"Ungh!"

She finally sat up and swung her legs out of the bed.

"I'm sorry, but he really can't talk to you right now, but he said to tell you that it's in his studio. The one in a crate."

There was a small silence. When he spoke next, Michael Newton sounder kinder.

"Okay, I'm sending someone over now. Is that okay?"

"Um…."

Not feeling entirely comfortable at the prospect of letting a complete stranger into Edward's house, Bella bit her lip.

"His name is Stanley Jesson," Michael said. "He's my partner." As if sensing her concern, he continued. "Look, Bella, I would come over by myself, but, thanks to Edward, I need to smooth things over here."

"I'm sorry?"

Another silence.

"He's been making such a big secret out of this final painting. Everyone expected him to show up this morning."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh. So would it be all right if Stan came to collect the pièce de la résistance?"

"Of course," Bella murmured.

Actually, she'd heard about Michael's partner from Edward, so she didn't really worry about letting him in.

Ending the call, she sat down on the settee under the window and looked at her boyfriend's huddled form under the blankets.

She sighed.

**oOo**


	115. Chapter 115

**oOo**

Stanley Jesson arrived an hour later, a friendly guy in his forties with almost no hair and round glasses that made him look like an owl.

Bella led him upstairs to Edward's studio and he carried the crate downstairs. Five minutes and a few phrases of small talk, and he was gone, telling her to say hello to Edward and that they would meet the next night.

After a long shower, Bella went home. Obviously, Edward would be dead to the world for another few hours.

Why had he gotten so drunk last night?

He'd been so good the last few weeks. He never stepped over a certain line with the drinking. He just used a couple of drinks to help him paint, he'd told her. Well, sometimes three, and a glass of wine or two with dinner.

Bella knew that he was deceiving himself. With her own history of harming her own body, she could see the signs.

She knew that she needed to address the subject. Up to now, she'd just been hoping that he was over the worst, that his drinking was a phase. His life was pretty stable right now, wasn't it?

The stress over the exhibition, sure. But there would always be something, it was how life went.

Despite her rather young age, Bella had learnt some fundamental truths on life during her battle with anorexia – basically, a battle with herself. The first was the acceptance that things would never, ever, come to a miraculous point where _everything_ was okay. There would always be stress and mean people and her own meagre self-confidence. She had to find ways to deal with those.

Second, Bella knew that you had to come to a point where you admitted to yourself that you had a problem. That it would not go away by itself, and that you needed help in overcoming it.

For her, that point had been overhearing her mum cry one night, sitting in the kitchen with her dad, sobbing that she was afraid they'd lose Bella if she didn't accept help.

It had been a shock for her, but a healthy one. She had seen how deeply she was affecting not only her own life, but those of her loved ones, as well.

She had gone into therapy a few weeks later.

Third, and most important, you had to want to get better.

Her motivation had been her family, and the strength and love they had for her. The utter certainty that they would stand by her no matter what.

Could she be that for Edward?

Moreover, would her even want her to?

Maybe his pain was what made him so brilliant as an artist. Maybe he fuelled it subconsciously because he needed it.

Bella let out a huge sigh and sat down in Grandma Marie's rocking chair by the window. It had started snowing, tiny white flakes wafting down from the steel-grey sky.

She still hadn't heard from Edward.

**oOo**

**Thank you so much for the response to the last chapter; I'm sorry I didn't get to thank each of you yet, but please know that your reviews are very much appreciated. In fact, they make me one happy girl. Have a lovely weekend!**

**xoxo**

**Your **

**harperpitt**


	116. Chapter 116

**oOo**

By the time it was three p.m., Bella still hadn't heard from Edward, and she was getting tired of waiting, maybe in more sense than one. He could sugarcoat his drinking all he wanted, the fact was that he had a problem.

Bella went shopping for groceries and cleaned her flat, working up a healthy irritation with her boyfriend as she vacuumed under the sofa, trying to catch every single dust bunny.

She loved Edward, truly, but if she was honest with herself, he still was an enigma in many ways. She wished she could look into him and understand the force that drove him. His pain, and his passion. Were they the same?

She was scrubbing the bathtub when her phone rang; it was Leah. Grateful for the interruption from her brooding, Bella greeted her with exuberance. After chatting for a few minutes, she realized how much she missed her best friend. They hadn't seen a lot of each other over the past weeks. Bella's studies and Edward had taken up all her time, just not necessarily in that order.

"What are you doing tonight?" Bella asked.

"Um, I don't know? Watch _Downton Abbey_ and eat liquorice?"

"Why don't you come over?"

"Over?" Leah repeated with more than a hint of sarcasm in her voice. "To your place, you mean?"

"Uh, yes. We could watch _Downton Abbey_ together."

Bella swallowed and chewed on her thumbnail. All of a sudden, she felt she was a horrible friend. Of course, she was in love and all, but neglecting your friends was a cardinal sin.

There was a small silence on the phone.

Bella stared at her frayed thumbnail, bitten to the point of no return.

Leah saved her after another painful moment.

"Okay," she said. "I'll bring a bottle of Baileys and popcorn. Seven-thirtyish?"

And just like that, they were back to their old level of comfort and familiarity.

.

Edward finally called while Bella prepared carrot and cucumber sticks with a yoghurt dip. He sounded contrite.

"I would have called earlier, but Mike rang again at around two and he said if I didn't get my ass to the gallery, he'd stop representing me."

A hollow laugh.

"He was only joking, of course."

"Did you go?"

"Yes. Actually, I'm still at the gallery. Apparently, everyone's going to have dinner at this super-hip place."

"Oh."

Okay, she needed to stop with the thumbnail, or there'd be no finger left by the end of the day.

"I told them I'd just give you a call. Are you coming, what do you think?"

Bella bit her lip.

"Actually, I agreed to spend the evening with Leah."

"Oh, I see."

She could tell he was trying to sound nonchalant about it, but she recognized the hurt in his voice.

"It was a spur-of-the-moment decision," she explained quickly. "I haven't seen her in weeks," she added, ashamed of herself.

"Of course," Edward said. "I guess I've been hogging you."

Another small and empty laugh made her heart cramp.

"So I guess you won't be coming over later," he said, "if you're having a girls' night."

"No, I guess not," Bella whispered.

"I love you," he said, sounding earnest. "You know that, right? I know I'm difficult and insufferable sometimes, but never forget that I love you, my Bella."

"I love you too," she vowed.

They said goodbye a couple of minutes later.

Bella sat down in her rocking chair and cried.

**oOo**


	117. Chapter 117

**oOo**

"Wow." Leah grabbed another mouthful of popcorn. "You are his _muse_!"

Bella had just told her friend about the fact that Edward had included her in one of his paintings. Though she had told him she didn't mind, she was a little nervous about people recognizing her.

"Nonsense!" Leah said when she'd voiced her worries. "He didn't paint _you-_you. He included you in his art. That's so romantic."

"It is, I guess."

Bella took a small sip of her Baileys.

"You're happy with him, aren't you?"

Bella sighed. Yes, she was happy with Edward. But she was also worried.

She knew she needed to address his drinking. It was just something she wasn't looking forward to. She remembered how he'd freaked out when she'd asked him not to have another drink, that night of their big fight. The night before everything changed between them.

Leah was watching her with an expectant look in her black eyes.

Bella nodded. She thought back to the other night, when Edward had crawled into bed next to her after working in his studio, showering her with tiny kisses and whispered words.

He was such a tender spirit, careful and deep. Continually proving his love and devotion. Always telling her she was beautiful, until she almost could believe it.

He was generous and sensitive, and such a loving, warm-hearted man.

He would never willingly hurt anyone. Least of all her. Only he sometimes did, if only by hurting himself.

"Yes," she said with a strong voice, chasing away her gloomy thoughts. "Yes, he makes me very happy. I feel, I don't know…" She thought for a moment. "I feel at home with him."

"You deserve this so much, Bella. And I'm sorry I gave you crap about him earlier. I can see he's good for you."

Bella smiled.

"And I can't wait to see your picture," Leah added.

"_My _picture?"

"The one you told me about. The one with you in the meadow…"

"It's beautiful. You'll love it."

"Have you made up your mind yet what you're going to wear?"

"I talked with Alice earlier. I think I'll put on the blue dress, you know, the short one with the long sleeves. Edward loves it."

Leah sighed and shook her head.

"It all happened so quickly, don't you think?"

"What did?"

"You and Edward. I mean, you're already so close. You spend all your time at his house…"

"Do you think it's weird?"

Leah took a thoughtful sip of her drink.

"Not weird," she said. "Just intense."

"That, it is," Bella admitted.

.

It was after midnight when Leah called a cab and kissed her friend goodbye.

Bella was so tired her legs felt like lead. She made herself a hot water bottle and went to bed. She checked her phone before she dimmed the light.

Edward had sent a text.

"_I miss you, my love. Hope you had a nice evening with L. Can't wait to see you tomorrow. Can't wait to kiss you again. E."_

She missed him too. So much.

**oOo**

**Thank you all so much for the reviews – I'm terribly sorry I'm so bad at replying at the moment. You guys are the best!**

**Hugs and kisses to all of you,**

**harperpitt**


	118. Chapter 118

**oOo**

His paintings hung in two vast, white rooms on the ground floor and the lighting was excellent.

Edward paced to and fro while Michael tried to calm him down. He knew his client, and Edward was always terribly nervous before presenting any new works.

"Here." He handed Edward a glass of whisky.

"Thanks." Edward downed it in one gulp, and gritted his teeth. "I'm not sure I made the right decision, Mike." He ran his fingers through his hair. "Maybe I should have chosen 'The Meadow' after all."

He rubbed the back of his neck. The decision he had made had not exactly been a sober one.

Bella had assured him that it would be okay to include the painting with her in it. If he was totally honest with himself, she had seemed pleased.

There were other paintings with her in it, but none depicted her as clearly – or as revealingly.

"You did the right thing, Edward," Michael assured him. "You relied on your instinct. Did it ever misguide you?"

"Plenty of times," Edward huffed. He looked at his agent. "And you know it."

"I'm just saying you should trust yourself. You had a reason not to choose it, didn't you?"

"Yeah." Edward sighed. He thought of Bella, _his Bella_, and how he'd felt that the painting might show too much, that it was too personal.

The clacking of heels made the two men look up. It was Rebecca, the gallery associate responsible for "Edward Cullen – New Seasons." She was the typical gallerina, young and pretty, dressed in Prada, with fashionable, horn-rimmed glasses that – Edward was certain – were plain glass.

"The first guests are starting to arrive," she informed them. "The bar is open and we have servers with trays of champagne. And Katrina is ready with the red dots." She gave Edward a smile. "Have fun. If anything's the matter, I'll be around."

"Thanks," Michael said.

Edward stayed silent, his nervousness reaching its peak. The drink had only helped minutely. How he hated this part of his profession. He was a painter, not a businessman.

"Ready?"

Michael smiled encouragingly.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Edward sighed.

.

Half an hour later, the room was filled with people and Edward felt like he was being pulled in twenty different directions. Journalists asking him questions, collectors wanting to talk to him, admirers wanting his autograph. His family had arrived, hugging and kissing him, bearing flowers and marvelling at the beauty of the exhibition rooms.

Edward was nursing his second glass of champagne and waiting for Bella. She was to come with Alice and Jasper, and had sent him a message that they were stuck in traffic, but should be here any minute now.

"Edward!"

Gah. It was that horrible woman Zafrina. She kissed the air next to his ears.

"Simply brilliant," she gushed.

She had Joham and Senna in tow, both of which did the same air-kissing thing to Edward.

"Congratulations, Edward. It clearly _is_ a 'new season' in your work," Joham said, using air quotes.

"Your paintings are so different," Senna said. "Much more lively and positive."

Both Joham and Zafrina nodded their heads.

"What brought this change?"

Edward's eyes were roaming the vast room while he tried not to react with irritation or arrogance. Before he could make up a reply, she entered the room – the one person that had brought the change.

Her smile made his heart sing.

**oOo**

**Thank you, again, for the support and love you're showing this story! Your words touch me so much, and mean the world.**

**xoxo**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	119. Chapter 119

**oOo**

Bella felt slightly intimidated as they entered the exhibition. Everyone seemed rich and trendy and sure of themselves, sipping champagne and nibbling tiny delicacies. A band was playing soft jazz music that mingled with the chatter and laughter of London's art scene.

She distinctly felt that she did not belong. Her dress was not expensive and her bag was not by Hermès. Her haircut was boring and she was not worldly-wise. She could feel her shoulders slump and her confidence crumble. Leah gave her hand a squeeze.

She took a glass of champagne from one of the waiters, wondering what on earth had gotten her to play for the other team. It felt all wrong.

And then she saw Edward across the crowded room, looking just as ill at ease as she felt, until their eyes met.

A smile, small and secret, graced his lips as he mouthed his hello. He gave her a tiny wave, wiggling his pinkie. Bella's heart expanded and flew to him.

"Oh, look, there he is!" Alice exclaimed, pointing him out. "Wow, this is a nice champagne, huh?"

"Roederer," Jasper remarked.

Bella was only half listening to her friends before she traversed the room much like a magnet drawn to its counterpart.

Edward was nodding his head at something the man next to him said, but as soon as she was within his reach, he stretched out his arm, wrapped it around her waist and pulled her into his side.

"Hey."

Warm lips on hers, and his hand on her hip. His scent, and his feel, sturdy and tall.

"Hey," she whispered against his mouth.

He nuzzled her nose with his before bringing them back to the reality of the curious group surrounding them.

"Bella, you remember Zafrina. And this is Joham and Senna. This is my beautiful girlfriend," he announced with a sort of touching pride in his voice. "Isabella Swan."

"Oh, hi!" Zafrina said. She air-kissed Bella, and Joham and Senna did the same.

"I was just telling Edward that the change in his work is amazing," the man of the group said. "He clearly found a new muse!"

For the fraction of a second, Edward's fingers dug into her side, but he quickly relaxed.

He grabbed a fresh glass of champagne from one of the passing waiters and took a large gulp.

"Yeah, well," he said, and took another big sip.

It was as if someone had poured a bucket of ice over Bella's previously cosy, warm heart.

"Oh, I didn't mean to suggest…" Joham was clearly embarrassed. "I was just… Never mind."

Edward's smile was bordering on painful.

"I love the one titled 'Midday Thames'," Zafrina said in an obvious effort to help over the uneasy silence. "Is it a recent work, too?"

"Yes," Edward replied curtly. He finished his champagne. "Will you excuse us for a moment? I haven't shown Bella around yet."

**oOo**

**Thank you for reading and reviewing – have a lovely Easter everyone, with lots of chocolate eggs!**

**xoxo**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	120. Chapter 120

**oOo**

"I'm sorry," Edward muttered, leading her away from the group. "Don't think about it, it was just a silly remark."

"Was it?"

"These people… they're superficial. They know nothing about me. They –"

But before he could finish, he was accosted by a new set of admirers, who wanted to know everything about his works.

He introduced them to Bella, but it was clear that they were interested in the artist only, so after a few minutes, Bella made her excuses and wandered off to look for Alice, Jasper and Leah. She found them looking at the large canvas entitled "Midday Thames."

It was a melancholy painting of the grey river, red busses passing over Waterloo Bridge while, in the foreground, a young woman was walking her dog – a scruffy Jack Russell.

"Hey, there you guys are."

"Bella." Alice smiled. "Wow, his paintings are so beautiful. And look, how many of them already sold!"

"It's great," Bella agreed.

She could see Edward laugh at something a woman said to him. She felt ill at ease in these surroundings.

"What's going on?" Jasper asked. "You don't look too happy."

"Just some people Edward knows, saying he found a new muse in me." She shuddered.

"Is that bad?" Jasper smiled.

"No, I guess not. I just don't like to feel like a replacement for his dead wife."

"Ouch," Leah said, gritting her teeth.

"I'm sorry, Bella." Jasper placed his hand on her arm.

"No, I'm sorry." She took a deep breath. "I didn't mean to snap at you." She looked at her friends, who shared expressions of compassion. "I'm going to have a good time now." She nodded in confirmation. "Let's go and see his other works. I wonder where the one with me in it is."

That thought made her smile genuine, and together, they set off to find _her_ painting.

Only, of course, they didn't.

Instead, hanging in a prominent place, was Edward's "Winter in Wales."

Bella swallowed. Could she have overlooked it?

"I don't understand," she murmured.

"Is there another room?" Alice asked.

"No. No just these two. That's odd."

"Do you think we overlooked it?" Leah's face was solemn.

Bella shook her head.

"Oh, look," Alice said. "Here comes the artist. He can give us information on the missing piece!"

Edward approached them with a smile, which fainted as he saw Bella's expression.

He greeted Alice, Jasper and Leah and took Bella's hand in his.

"Are you okay, love? My mum and dad are impatient to say hello."

"The painting," Bella said. "You didn't include it?"

"'The Meadow'?" He scratched his eyebrow. "No, actually I didn't. I wanted to tell you, but there was so much going on…"

"I _wish_ you'd told me," she said. She could feel tears prick at her eyes. "I was telling my friends about it. I wanted to show it to them."

She bit her lip to stop the tears from falling.

"I'm sorry, darling." Edward sighed and gave her hand a squeeze. He looked uncomfortable.

Bella wanted to curl up in a corner and cry.

So she'd believed for a moment that she was special and beautiful? That he wanted to show her off?

Well, apparently, being his "new muse" only went so far.

Her disappointment was sharp and painful.

**oOo**

**Are you hating Edward right now?**


	121. Chapter 121

**oOo**

"Bella…"

Edward tried to pull her in his arms, shocked at the hurt and regret on her face. She wouldn't let him, crossing her arms in front of herself.

"You didn't include it," she repeated, sadly shaking her head.

"I wanted to," he said, wishing she would look at him. "But it felt too personal."

Bella was silent, but he could practically feel her sadness.

"Edward!"

It was his agent's voice.

"You need to meet these people, Mr. and Mrs. Goldman. They came all the way from Toronto to be here tonight."

He had a balding man and his pudding-faced wife by his side. They were grinning like idiots.

"Mike, can you just give me a minute? I need to…"

"Edward," Michael said in a low voice, his expression tense. "You've _got_ to meet these lovely people." His eyes conveyed the urgency of his request.

"Bella." Edward's stomach was black and tight as he said the words. "Just a couple of minutes, okay? I need to say hello."

She bit her lip and nodded without looking at him.

She turned away.

.

Edward didn't get the chance to talk to Bella. It wasn't that he didn't try, but Bella simply didn't let him, finding ways to avoid him each time he came near her.

Waiters circled with trays of nibbles and more drinks, speeches were made and spirits were high, but the star of the evening was tight-lipped – in more than one sense. After a glass of champagne for the toast that Carlisle made, Edward stopped drinking.

He was already buzzed from the drinks he'd had earlier. He knew that he needed to talk to Bella, and that it was crucial for him to be as clear as possible.

Watching her while he talked – _again_ – to Mr. and Mrs. Goldman, he found her in a corner with Alice and Leah. Her friend was listening to what Bella was saying, lightly shaking her head.

Bella looked so sad, and so fragile, and it made him feel horrible to know that he had caused her pain. It made him think of the night at the ballet, and the time she had asked him to her parents' party and he had declined.

Why did he have this compulsion to drive her away? The best thing in his life, his love, his everything. What made him so self-destructive?

He did not deserve her. She was pure and beautiful and perfect.

His heart was heavy.

Bella looked up and their eyes met across the room, and he took a deep breath.

He might not deserve her, but she deserved nothing but love and adoration.

He knew he had made a mistake, two mistakes actually. He'd been drunk when he'd made his decision, and he'd been misguided by his own possessiveness and childish jealousy.

She must think he was ashamed of her for not including her painting. She was always doubting her beauty and her body, and he, idiot that he was, had probably made it worse with his stupid decision.

All of a sudden, it was clear, and Edward felt a rush of adrenaline.

"Excuse me," he told the Goldmans, "There's something important I forgot to do."

**oOo**

**What do you think it is that he forgot?**

**Thank you for your reviews to the last chapter, many of you surprised me by saying you weren't mad with Edward! Your words mean so much to me, and I'm eternally grateful to have the best readers in the world.**

**Another note: I am posting this early because I'm going to have a wisdom tooth extracted today, and I'm not sure I'll get a lot of writing done the next few days. Wish me luck!**

**Hugs and kisses,**

**your**

**harperpitt**


	122. Chapter 122

**oOo**

"It's just…" Bella shrugged. "I was so proud that he thought I was pretty enough to be included. That I was special…"

"You _are _special," Alice said. "Oh, how I'd like to give him a piece of my mind!"

"He's an artist, Alice, and he can't base his decisions on personal affectations."

Bella took a deep breath, She had managed not to cry so far, and she wasn't going to. That could wait until she was at home.

Leah gave her hand another squeeze.

"Hey, girls." Jasper joined them with three plates. "I got you a little bit of everything from the buffet."

"Thanks." Bella smiled wanly. "But I'm really not hungry. I guess I should find Edward and tell him I'm leaving. I don't think this night is going to get any better."

"We'll give you a ride," Jasper offered immediately. "Just tell us when you're ready to go."

"Thank you." She gave her friend a hug. "I'll be back in a moment."

And with that, she set off to find Edward.

Crossing the room, she passed fashionable, young people in freaky outfits, elegant women with pearls around their necks and Botox in their faces and their rich husbands, collectors and genuine lovers of Edward's art. She saw Zafrina and her posse, drinking champagne, laughing.

Esme waved from another corner of the room, a warm and cheerful gesture. Bella waved back. She couldn't bear to walk over and explain why she was leaving early. She knew that Edward's mother would be disappointed with her for not staying. She didn't want that, and there was no way she was going to explain to her that she was hurt because Edward had chosen not to exhibit his painting of her in a dreamy meadow, sparsely dressed.

Bella had reached the second room. The gallery representative and her assistant were placing a dot on one of the paintings. Bella couldn't even begin to imagine how much money was being made right now – not just for Edward, but for so many people: His agent, the gallery and its associates.

"Bella!"

There was a hand on her arm and instinctively, she pulled back, but when she turned around, it was Michael. Edward had introduced them earlier, and Bella had immediately taken to him. She knew that Edward had been working with Michael for a long time, and that he trusted his agent.

"Where's Edward?"

His baby blue eyes were filled with excitement. He was dressed in a tailored suit with a Burberry pattern and a bow tie.

"I don't know," Bella shrugged. "I'm looking for him, too."

"Dang it, I need him. There's this guy from the Ephraim Palais in Berlin. They're interested!"

"That's great." Bella forced a smile.

"Was he drunk?" Michael asked with a sudden change in his expression. "When you last saw him, was he drunk?"

"No. No, he wasn't. He switched to water after Carlisle's toast."

Come to think of it, Bella hadn't taken note at the time that he had stopped drinking alcohol.

"Where _is_ he?"

Suddenly, her chest felt tense and her mouth was dry. What was going on?

Where was Edward?

**oOo**

**Hmm… Ideas, anyone?**

**Thank you so much for your support and well-wishes! Everything went okay with the tooth (that is, after the extraction wound was bleeding all night and I had to make another trip to the dentist's.)**

**For those of you who are interested: I posted a short outtake for "Wake Up and Dream" about Tanya. It's Bella and Edward-free. I wrote it some time ago and felt like posting it.**

**Hope you all had a great weekend, and thank you again for all the reviews, recs, PMs and overall loveliness you're showing me and my story!**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	123. Chapter 123

**oOo**

"Hey, Bella. Michael."

Rosalie kissed both her cheeks. Wearing a Chanel suit, she looked every bit the successful anchorwoman she was, having just arrived from the studio where "Voices of London" was recorded. Between her and Michael, Bella felt like an ugly duckling.

"What's going on, lovely Bella? You don't look too happy!"

"Edward's gone missing," Michael hissed.

"Missing?" Rosalie's eyebrows went up. She looked as if she couldn't decide whether to laugh or freak out.

"We haven't seen him in about, I don't know, half an hour?" Bella looked at Michael. "Or was it longer?"

"Longer," Michael replied decidedly.

"Shit," Rosalie muttered. "Was he drunk?"

Bella bit her lip. The fact that this was everybody's first thought broke her heart and made her throat feel tight.

"He wasn't," Bella said, "I mean, he did drink, but… Oh, God, where is he?"

Her heart was galloping in her chest and her body broke out in goose bumps.

Rosalie seemed to sense her panic, placing her hand on Bella's arm.

"We'll go look for him, okay? He can't have vanished. As silly as my little nincompoop of a brother often is, he knows how to behave at his own –"

She was interrupted by the sound of a spoon against a glass, and a clear, female voice.

"Ladies and gentlemen, if you will please give me you attention for a moment."

Everyone gathered around the sleek gallerina, the one who was in charge, Rebecca.

"The artist Mr. Cullen had a trick up his sleeve, it seems, and he just came in with a surprise for you all. Please follow me to the room on the left to see what this wonderboy has in store for us!"

"Well, _someone_ is enjoying the attention," Michael bitched.

The young woman made quite a show of opening the door to a previously closed-off section of the gallery, and everyone followed with expectant faces and eager whispers.

Bella, who was too small to see anything, heard a few gasps.

"Is this – ?"

"But she's exq_uisite_!"

"Now, _that's_ finally something new!"

Bella was beginning to feel giddy from worry, anticipation, and the crowded room.

One last, concentrated effort made her take a deep breath and wind her way through the mass of people.

An easel was in front of an otherwise empty, white wall. There was nothing but that. That, and the painting that had been placed on the easel.

That, and Edward's face, and his smile.

"I'm a very silly man," he addressed no one but her. "I think you know that by now."

He reached out for her hand and pulled her into his side, wrapping one arm around her.

"I forgot to include the most important painting," he said, and maybe he was talking to the congregation in front of him now, but Bella wouldn't know, because she was hiding her tears in his chest, holding close to him, listening to his strong heartbeat, sinking into his warmth and strength.

"I never used to believe that such a thing as a muse existed," he said, his voice reverberating against her ear. "I found it affected and a sign of not knowing your craft so you have to rely on luck, on the oft-quoted _inspiration_."

Bella felt him take a deep breath.

"I used to think that we can influence everything."

Another deep breath, and a kiss on her hair.

"I was wrong. Sometimes, the Gods smile on us. And they give us a muse. Which is the reason I created 'The Meadow.'"

**oOo**


	124. Chapter 124

**oOo**

Esme ruffled Edward's hair for the third time. She knew he hated it, but couldn't help herself.

"That was a smart thing to do, boysie," she smiled.

Everyone, really, was smiling. The evening was winding down and their party had dwindled to a handful of people lingering over coffee at Gallery Mass, the Saatchie's own restaurant. It was getting late.

Edward was sober, sitting between his mother and girlfriend, one of whom was repeatedly ruffling his hair, while the other had been holding his hand for the past few hours. Or was it him, holding her hand? Anyway, they hadn't even let go during dinner, which made it difficult to eat, but luckily, he was left-handed, so he managed.

He was deliriously happy. For once, he had made the right decision. Rushing home and fetching the painting had been entirely spontaneous, but he'd suddenly understood how excluding her painting must have looked for Bella. Her self-confidence on some levels was as fragile as her body, but he tended to forget about the fact because, to him, she was strong and beautiful and assured.

"Congratulations, Edward," his dad said again. Carlisle was a bit tipsy tonight. Well, better him than Edward.

"Darling," Bella whispered into his ear. "Let's go home soon, okay?"

They had not talked about it, but the way she used to refer to his house as home made Edward's heart want to sing and dance.

"Are you tired, love?" He chuckled.

"No…" Her whisper became a hot breath on his neck. "I'm not at all tired."

Edward swallowed.

.

Forty-seven minutes later, they were undressing each other while making their way up the stairs. Edward's shoes, socks, jacket and tie made a path to the bedroom. His shirt and pants were dropped in the hallway.

The house was silent but for their gasps and murmurs as they stumbled into the bedroom. Impatient hands and lips and tongues melted and teased, tingled and merged.

They landed on the bed, her on top, naked but for her panties. Edward almost growled at the sight of her breasts, cupping them, looking and adoring.

"You're so beautiful, baby… I was such an idiot about the painting…" He brushed his thumb over her nipple and she shuddered. "I wanted to keep you for myself…"

"You have me."

Her eyes were large and luminous and she smiled. She bent forward, rubbing against him, making him groan deep in his throat.

She kissed him, and he responded eagerly, relishing the sensation of her full breasts pressing against his chest. She was like cotton candy and silk, soft and sweet and irresistible.

Kisses became frantic as hands roamed again, and once they were naked, she sank down on him, a small cry escaping her mouth. He would never get his fill in watching her, feeling her, tasting her. She was divine in her pleasure, her eyes fluttering as her tempo sped up, his hands on her hips spurring her on.

They were bathed in sweat when she collapsed on him, his long moan muffled by her hair. She was panting, still trembling from her release, her slight weight delicious on him.

They were silent for a while, trying to regain their breaths and their wits.

"My beautiful Bella," he murmured, holding her as close as possible.

He could feel her smile against his neck.

"I love you," were her sleepy, mumbled words. "So much…"

Moments later, he could tell by her even breathing and relaxed body that she was dead to the world.

Edward closed his eyes.

He hadn't fallen asleep this easily in a long time.

**oOo**

**Thank you so, so much for your support, all you lovely readers and reviewers. You warm my heart with your words. Thank you. I couldn't do it without you.**


	125. Chapter 125

**oOo**

"Have you read this one?" she asked.

Bella had her feet in Edward's lap and, while he was massaging them after her long workday, she was browsing through the Monday papers.

The whole of London, it seemed, was celebrating Edward Cullen's new works – especially "The Meadow." His phone had been ringing all day with congratulations and requests. Michael was dealing with the brunt of them, but enough people had Edward's private number and seemed to remember that they were, in one way or another, acquainted with_ the_ Edward Cullen.

"Yeah, I did," he replied, applying more pressure to the sole of her left foot.

Bella sighed luxuriously. She'd been at a conference with Jasper at the Barbican Centre since seven a.m. It now was eight p.m.

Edward was happy that his new paintings were a success, but what made him happier was to have Bella near him. They'd had a long and lazy Sunday in bed after the _vernissage,_ and he'd hated to let her go this morning. Her presence was a balm and a safety blanket. He'd not had a drop since Carlisle's toast on Saturday, and he hadn't missed it.

"They say that you have re-established your unique style and gave the term _romantic realism _a new meaning," she quoted, looking up from the paper. Her eyes were positively sparkling.

Edward's fingers glided higher, touching the arch of her foot, stroking over her shin.

"And the Times writes 'Edward Cullen has given us several new masterpieces, but especially his portrayal of a young woman in a meadow is a painting of beauty and joy, expressing the naiveté and purity of youth…'"

Bella snorted, which became a dirty giggle.

Edward couldn't help but grin, his hand walking higher on her leg.

"Such a tiny girl," he rumbled, "making such un_dignified_ noises…"

He tickled the underside of her knee, which made Bella giggle and snort even more.

"I thought you were going to say, 'Such a dirty girl, what makes them think she's meant to represent naiveté and purity…'"

She watched him from under long, black lashes, her toes moving closer to his crotch, making him tingle.

"I _was_ going to say something to that effect," Edward muttered, getting totally distracted by her actions.

His fingers tickled their way into Bella's shorts, which were actually the boxers with a Snoopy design that Vera had given him for his birthday.

They continued teasing each other, looking at each other while they did.

Edward was still trying to get used to the fact that he had shared his vision of Bella with the public. She was assuring him in every way that it had been right to do it – and that she was his, and only his Bella.

He'd never known himself to be such a possessive man.

As if she could read his thoughts, Bella smiled at him.

"I love you," she said softly.

"I love you too. I – oh, damn it."

His phone was ringing again.

It was Michael.

"I'm sorry." Bending lower, he placed a kiss on her knee. "But he won't stop if I don't answer him now."

"I _know_!" Bella rolled her eyes good-naturedly, reminding him of the fact that she'd had to let Stan in to fetch the painting. The wrong painting, as he knew now.

"Edward," his agent greeted him, in a voice so high it was almost reminiscent of Truman Capote.

"Mike." It was Edward's turn to roll his eyes.

Bella crawled nearer, and he wrapped his arm around her as she snuggled into his side.

"Are you sitting down? Because, if you're not sitting down, you should be. Guess what?"

"What?"

"Would you like to receive two-hundred-and-fifty-thousand pounds? That is, roughly speaking. I'm talking _after_ taxes here."

Edward let out a breath.

"Tell me."

"You remember that couple from Toronto, the Goldmans?"

"Of course I do."

The pudding-faced lady who had tried to feel him up, and her hairless husband.

"They want to buy 'The Meadow.'"

There was a small, expectant silence. Edward could practically see Mike's victorious grin.

"Absolutely not. It's not for sale."

And that was that.

**oOo**

**Thank you so, so SO much for your lovely reviews. I'm sorry I was a failure at replying; it's been a busy week.**

**Hugs and kisses to all of you!**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	126. Chapter 126

**oOo**

"Oh, crap."

Bella turned off the – now cold – water and wrapped herself in a towel as she stepped out of the shower. Why did the water at her place always run cold after five minutes, whereas at Edward's, she could shower indefinitely?

March had arrived, but temperatures still had not picked up. It was snowing, and Bella'd been cold all day.

"What's going on, love?"

Edward was leaning against the doorframe, a lopsided smirk on his lips.

"The water," she grouched, shuddering as she pulled a towel around her hair.

"You cold?"

"Freezing." She sneezed.

"Want me to warm you?" He took a step toward her.

The corners of her lips pulled up into a smile. She closed the distance between them and ran one finger down his chest. He was wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, his feet in the black Birkenstock clogs Bella liked to make fun of. He insisted they were comfy and he didn't mind looking like a granddad as long as he had warm feet.

The fact that he had bought a second pair to keep at her place was a sweet reminder of how serious he was about their relationship.

"Hmm?" Edward's hands settled on her hips and he pulled her to him.

"We don't have time for that," she whispered.

"Oh, but we have plenty of time for that." His hands covered her bottom as he kissed his way from her ear to her chin. "Ro and Em won't be here before seven…" His warm breath made her shudder. "And you're cold…"

"I'm not so cold anymore," she sighed, allowing him better access as he nibbled on her neck.

He pulled her closer still, and she could feel his excitement, and she became butter in his hands. When he lifted her up, she wrapped her legs around his hips, and nothing was further from her mind than protesting his actions.

.

They managed to be dressed and ready by six- fifty-five. Emmett grinned when they said hello to him and Rosalie, as if he knew exactly what they'd been doing previously.

The drive passed quickly, and they laughed and chatted as Emmett wound the car through the nightly London traffic. Bella was glad that they were going with Rosalie and Emmett – the prospect of attending a party at the Dorchester was rather intimidating, especially since the invitation had been made by Sir Alistair and Lady Samdon. Lady Samdon – Charlotte, or, as she was called by her friends, Lottie – was widely known as a patron of the arts, and both Edward and Rosalie were acquainted with her.

Edward had insisted on paying for Bella's new dress, a creation of dark green silk that showed off her cleavage and snow-white skin. She had only agreed when he'd argued that it was his fault she even needed it, that it would make him happy to look at her all night, that the colour suited his eyes. In the end, he had resorted to kisses and didn't stop until she said yes.

"You're beautiful." Edward kissed her temple as she slipped her arm through his and they followed Rosalie and Emmett inside. The car was being taken care of by a valet.

They entered a vast hall with marble floors and golden railings, crystal chandeliers and stucco. A staircase led up to another foyer. Their coats were taken from them and once they stepped into the ballroom, glasses of champagne were offered.

Edward, in contrast to Bella, who felt a little ill at ease and overwhelmed, was completely relaxed. His arm around her waist, he grabbed a drink from one of the trays, thanking the server and handing it to Bella.

He took a glass of orange juice for himself.

**oOo**

**Thank you for your beautiful reviews. I love to hear your thoughts and ideas. Sorry I couldn't reply to everyone yet, ff was being difficult.**

**All my love to you!**


	127. Chapter 127

**oOo**

The party was in full swing. A lavish buffet, a band, endlessly flowing drinks.

Edward stuck to drinking water, chatting with the Samdons, who were complimenting him on his new works. Bella, Ro and Emmett were part of their group, talking easily. Lottie seemed to like Bella, extensively asking about her studies. She was an impressive woman in her sixties, tall, thin as a rail, with long, black hair. Edward heard both of them laugh while he was talking with Alistair. Bella was close to him, their elbows touching, and sometimes their pinkie fingers, too.

She was mesmerizing tonight, in that dress, her hair flowing over her shoulders, her eyes shining. He knew that Ro saw it as well: Bella was the one, in ways Irina had never been.

She was young, yes, but she was more mature than he could ever hope to be. She was brave and one of the most quick-witted people he knew. She knew what she wanted. She knew herself, her weaknesses, and how to deal with them.

And – though he often wondered why – it was him she chose to be with.

"Edward," Lottie drew him out of his reverie. "Did Gustav contact you about his plans in Berlin?"

"He talked to my agent," Edward replied, "but we haven't discussed it yet."

The truth was that he'd been stalling Michael's requests to consider going to Berlin. He couldn't bear the thought of being without Bella. He hadn't even told her about it.

"Oh, you most definitely should do it," Lottie said. "It's a wonderful museum, and a great place to exhibit right now. And from what I hear, you have quite a following there. Have you ever been to Berlin?" she turned to Bella.

"Yes, um, I have. About four years ago."

"Well, then convince him!" Lottie patted her arm.

Moments later, she was fluttering away like a long, black butterfly.

"You didn't tell me you got invited."

Bella was facing him, not angry, but downcast.

He took both her hands in his.

"I didn't tell you because I haven't even considered it yet."

"Michael mentioned something at the vernissage. He was upset he couldn't find you."

Edward slightly rolled his eyes. Mike was always upset about something where his most prestigious client was involved.

"Are you going to go?"

He shrugged.

"I don't want to. Not without you."

Bella's face was lit with a smile.

"Then I'll come with you."

"Co-could you?" His surprise made him slightly speechless.

"Well, it depends on the date of course, but I'm sure a few days could be arranged."

Her smile didn't last, and he could already see the wheels turning in her head: the cost of the flight, the hotel…

"Then let's do it," he said, wrapping his arms around her slender waist, pulling her to him. "You'll come as my… assistant."

Bella's nose crinkled adorably.

"Does that mean I'll have to organize your life?"

"Or my secretary," he suggested.

Bella laughed.

"My chaperone?"

She slapped his chest and pouted.

Edward pretended to think hard.

"My girl Friday?"

More pouting. He brought his face closer to hers.

"Friend?"

Their noses were touching. Bella grumbled softly.

"Plus one?"

Her arms twined around his neck.

Their foreheads against each other's, he could feel her sweet breath on his lips.

"Lover?"

"Now we're talking," she whispered, and their lips merged, none of them caring about the dozens of people around them.

**oOo**


	128. Chapter 128

**oOo**

o

"_Don't be jealous, Edward," she says softly. _

"_I'm not," he protests._

_She smiles._

"_Relax a bit. She'll love you even more."_

"_I can't… I can't."_

_o_

Edward woke with a start.

"Good morning," Bella smiled, placing a steaming mug of coffee on his bedside table.

Edward rubbed his eyes.

"You know, we just need to turn it around: First, we take Berlin, then we take Manhattan!"

Her smile got larger. She was quite proud of her silly reworking of Leonard Cohen.

Still sleepy, Edward pulled her close by the strings of her sweatpants until she was straddling his thighs.

"You're so chirpy in the mornings," he yawned.

"I'm just looking forward to spending the day with your family," she said, bending lower so she could rest her face against his chest.

Immediately, his arms came around her. He closed his eyes for another moment, enjoying her warmth and closeness. He buried his nose in her hair. She smelled like roses, like girl.

"I can see how it is," he murmured good-naturedly. "Now that you have them, I'm uninteresting. And they have you… which makes me even more superfluous…"

"Nonsense," she replied softly. She kissed the underside of his chin. "Your family loves you, they adore you."

Edward wanted to say that there had been times when he had been a worry and a burden for his loved ones, but he didn't. He was trying to be better now, and he was feeling a thousand times better already. With Bella by his side, anything seemed possible.

"And _I _adore_ you_," he said instead, and kissed the top of her head. Her hair was so soft and silky.

.

Though still cool, it was one of the first sunny days of the year and Hyde Park was bustling with families, tourists, joggers and cyclists. The Cullens were complete since even Vera was spending the weekend at home. She was walking with Emmett, both of them laughing happily. Vera had been fifteen when her mum remarried, and she considered Emmett rather a play buddy and partner in crime than a stepdad. And Emmett had never tried to fit that part, anyway. Vera had a good relationship with her father, Royce.

The pale sounds of spring birds were dancing through the chill air. Bella's hand in his, Edward was more cheerful than he'd expected. Maybe it was the lovely weather, or his girlfriend's warm fingers curling around his, or just simply the prospect of his mum's homemade scones for tea. He felt clear-headed and content, and each time he looked at Bella, he had to smile.

She had traded in her Michelin man piece for a grey woollen coat that accentuated her slender figure. The sun gave her hair a chestnut shine, and her cheeks were rosy from the still-chilly air.

He tugged on her hand, pulling her closer until she was by his side, fitting right under his arm. They walked silently, only stopping when a small dog crossed their way, jumping and barking excitedly. He looked like a little pirate, a black spot around his right eye.

"Well, hello, who are you?"

Bella let him sniff her hand.

"I'm so sorry, miss!" A boy of maybe ten arrived, breathless, at their side. "C'mere, Rhett," he called.

"That's a cute name," Bella remarked, scratching behind Rhett's ears.

"We named him after some mov – Oh, my mum's calling. Bye, miss."

He took off.

Bella's dark eyes were shining as she looked up at Edward.

"He was cute," she said.

"Rhett, or the boy?"

She shrugged and smiled.

"Both," she said.

And Edward found himself jealous of a little boy and his pirate-eyed dog.

**oOo**

**Thank you for reading. As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts!**

**Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	129. Chapter 129

**oOo**

Although Bella had only taken a few small bites, she complimented Esme endlessly on her delicious scones. Edward's mother smiled, looking very much like her son.

"I can give you the recipe if you like," she offered.

They were sitting on the Cullens' big sofa after tea, while the men – and Vera – had gathered around the TV, watching Arsenal vs. Chelsea.

Every now and again, Bella's eyes drifted to the small group, her heart swelling with affection. They'd been together for more than three months, but every day, she realized there were so many things about Edward she didn't know. Like the fact that he liked to watch football.

Rosalie had been sitting with them, but she'd excused herself to make a phone call, so Bella and Esme were alone. It wasn't that Bella was intimidated by Edward's mum, she was much too genuinely friendly and welcoming for that, but she was slightly in awe. After all, Esme Platt had been a world famous opera singer even before Bella was born.

She smiled back.

"That would be perfect. I'd love to make some for Edward. You know what a glutton he is."

"I do." Esme fondly rolled her eyes. "And I know that I neglected to teach the poor boy anything about cooking, let alone baking."

"Oh, I've been giving him some lessons," Bella mentioned, and blushed immediately.

Their last "lesson" had ended with Edward bending her over the counter in his kitchen, satisfying her so thoroughly that her legs had been rubber afterwards, and he had carried her to his bedroom.

Happily, Esme either didn't notice or didn't show that she did, and just then, a couple of cheers from the men and Vera distracted them.

"What a bum!" Emmett shouted. "It clearly was offside!"

Excited discussions followed and both women looked over to where everyone was yelling at the referee. Carlisle had gotten them a round of beers, but Bella was glad to see that Edward was sticking to his herbal tea.

Since the opening of his art show, he'd not had a single drink. They hadn't spoken about it, but she knew it was important to him. A couple of times, she'd offered him a glass of wine when he'd been at her place, but he had declined.

He was more relaxed, his beautiful green eyes were clear and serene, and he looked altogether healthier. The dark shadows under his eyes were gone, as was the extreme pallor. He had filled out a bit, but that might just as well be attributed to Bella's cooking.

"He looks so happy," Esme's voice found her in her musings.

She had moved a little closer to Bella, her tone warm and almost confidential.

"He does," Bella echoed.

"He was unhappy for such a long time," Esme said softly. "Really, really unhappy."

Bella looked up into her eyes. The same green as Edward's, they were filled with tenderness and affection. She placed her hand on Bella's arm.

"And now that you are in his life, he's not. He's himself again."

Bella swallowed.

"I love him," she said softly.

"I know," Esme replied, her eyes slightly watery while her smile grew. "You're good for each other, I guess."

Bella smiled. She couldn't pinpoint it, but Esme seemed to be able to read her.

.

It was only later, hours later, when Bella was in between that susceptible half-state between waking and sleeping, Edward's breathing low and even against the back of her neck, that she realized Esme had not urged her to eat more cake, or more scones, or more anything. And Bella smiled.

**oOo**

**Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for your reviews! They mean the world to me, and I'm sorry I was so bad about replying… Thank you, you guys are the BEST!**


	130. Chapter 130

**oOo**

The following weeks passed peacefully. After the first glimpse of spring, the city had been turned back into muddy, snowy grey and everyone wore depressed faces. It had been dark and cold for a long enough time, and Londoners were yearning for sunshine and lightness.

A week before Easter, it got warm at last. Bella, who had been freezing for months, was delighted, and she was even more delighted to learn that Edward was a bit of a gardener. He set to work in the small space behind his house the moment temperatures went higher, clearing away dead leaves and planting bulbs.

She liked to watch him as she would sit on the porch with a book and a cup of tea, snuggled into a fleece blanket. The way his muscles flexed when he dug into the earth with his bare hands, smiling at something, the sun reflecting in his hair. He was happy, and that simple fact made her happy.

He wasn't working much, telling her he needed a period of rest to recharge his artistic batteries. The Berlin exhibition was planned for the end of April with his works that were currently being displayed at the Saatchie. The pieces would go to Berlin for a period of three months before going to their new owners – "The Meadow" would return to the artist.

Bella was excited to go to the Continent with him. Their tickets and hotel room were booked and since the museum was paying for their expenses, she didn't feel like she was sponging off on Edward.

A week into April, she was unwinding from a long day at the British Library, taking a bubble bath, her nose in a celebrity magazine. Reading about the love lives and weight problems of the rich and famous, she soaked in the hot water, relaxing to the point of drowsiness.

A sound made her sit up straight, splashing water over the edge of the tub, and adrenaline began to course through her veins.

A second later, she heard his voice from the living room.

"Hey love, I'm here."

They'd talked on the phone an hour ago, and she'd told him to use his set of keys should she still be in the bath.

"Bella?" His voice got closer. "Are you still in the –?" The door opened, revealing a smiling Edward. "You must have grown fins by now." He grinned. He looked extremely handsome in a bottle green Polo shirt and jeans. His cheeks were slightly stubbly and his hair was its usual delightful mess.

"No fins." She smiled lazily. "The last time I looked. Unless you want to check?"

"Hmm." The corners of his mouth went even higher into what she now knew was a downright dirty smile. "You want me to?"

Bella lifted one of her hands out of the water and eyed it doubtfully.

"Actually, I'm pruny."

Edward's eyes darted around her small bathroom and he grabbed a towel from the rack, opening it in invitation for her.

"Thank you."

She climbed out of the tub, noticing the way his hungry eyes were on her.

"See something you like?" She raised one eyebrow at him while he wrapped her into the towel, and in his arms.

"You," he growled softly, his breath teasing and warm by her ear.

Bella shuddered. Without further preamble, she pushed him backwards and into her bedroom.

**oOo**


	131. Chapter 131

**oOo**

They landed on her bed, him on top of her who was still wet and dressed in nothing but a towel. He was pulling at the corners, his eyes sparkling as if he was unwrapping a gift.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered against her jaw line, tiny kisses warming her cool skin. "My beautiful Bella…"

His lips were soft and a titillating contrast to the light scuff on his chin and cheeks. The combination made her shudder. His weight on her was delicious, but she needed to touch some skin also, and her fingers were impatient as they pulled at his shirt.

With a devilish, small grin, Edward complied and threw it to the corner of the bed while Bella's fingers were already unbuttoning his jeans.

"You're very eager," he whispered, his warm breath tickling her neck.

"You're very sexy," she replied, pulling at his pants.

She was aware of the way he was watching her, with unmasked desire in his eyes. It didn't make her feel self-conscious though: Edward made her feel sexy, too.

His jeans came over his feet and she wasted no time hooking her fingers into the waistband of his boxer briefs. She licked her lips, and then she licked _him_, his pleasured moans spurring her on. He tasted salty and musky and sweet, and she enjoyed the sounds he was making, and the feel of his fingers in her hair.

"Oh, God…" he groaned. "Come here, baby…"

His hands were on her shoulders and when she looked up at him through her lashes, his face was flushed, his eyes hooded.

"You don't want me to continue?"

"I want to be inside you…"

"Oh, God…"

Two seconds later, she was on top of him, sinking down on him, watching him in his pleasure. His hands were on her breasts, her waist, her thighs, and hers were on his chest. It was intense pleasure, hot and impatient, their sounds echoing off the walls of the bedroom. Skin slapping on skin, sighs and moans, and a soft cry as Bella neared the apex of her lust. Edward's fingers dug into her hips as he moved her rapidly, an almost feral growl escaping him as he found his release.

Bella finally collapsed on Edward's chest – they were a panting, messy bundle of limbs and sweat and galloping hearts.

"I love you," he whispered thickly once his breathing was back to normal.

His pointer finger painted lazy patterns on her back, up and down, tender and sweet. He had this gift of making her feel adored, and secure, and happy inside her own skin. Things that were not always taken for granted by Bella Swan.

She moved off of him but snuggled up to his side immediately, and he wrapped her in his arms. She nuzzled his neck with her nose, breathing him in, sweat and all.

"I love you too," she responded, placing her palm above his heart. "So much."

"So much," he echoed, and with that, they fell into a long and thorough kiss.

**oOo**

**Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your reviews. **


	132. Chapter 132

**oOo**

Work did not always come easily to Edward, and sometimes, it was a struggle. The fact that he had grown used to overcoming his difficulties with the help of alcohol was not lost on him. Expressing his innermost ideas was easier if the road between the conscious and the unconscious was shortened by one or two glasses of whisky.

The details and technicalities, he always added in the morning. But it was during the evening hours, and with the help of a drink, that he felt able to listen to his inner voice.

It was a habit, and he knew that it was a bad habit, but the fact was that he hadn't painted one stroke since the opening of his art show. He hadn't tried a lot, to be honest.

It was now, standing in front of his easel with the bright morning sun illuminating his workspace, that he felt blocked. He had a vague idea of what he wanted to do, but his paintbrush wouldn't follow. Everything he did seemed shallow and fake.

He sat down in the old armchair by the window and took a large gulp from his water bottle.

Irina had used to discuss these things with him. Being an artist herself, she'd understood. She'd understood the long nights, and the moodiness. Had she pampered him? Yes, probably.

Their mutual friends had mostly been artists as well. Alcohol, and the use of other drugs, had not been uncommon. After Irina's death, Edward's isolation had made him lose a lot of those friends, which probably spoke for itself.

It had been an enabling environment.

Edward heaved a sigh and finished his water. He didn't miss drinking alcohol, he just missed the way it gave him easier access to his creativity. If he was perfectly honest with himself, it had been this way even before Irina's death. Her death had merely started a snowball effect. He'd used his grief as an excuse to drink, and at the same time, it prevented him from getting better.

Now, he was better, which was all due to Bella. She was his angel, and his muse, and his saviour.

Yet he still_ had_ that devilish desire.

Maybe he should consult someone again. The counselling after Irina's death had helped, but it probably had only touched the immediate grief, and his relationship with Irina.

What if there was more? Some other, inner demon that kept kindling his self-destructive tendencies?

Another sigh, and Edward got out of the armchair. He looked at it. The leather was worn and cracked in places. Irina had given it to him a couple of months after they'd moved in together because he'd seen it an antiques shop and liked it.

For some reason, it now felt wrong to Edward, and on a sudden impulse, he grabbed the heavy chair and carried it into the spare room.

Returning to his studio, he was breathless but better.

.

Eight days later, a brand new, blue sofa was delivered to his house. It looked exactly like the one in his drawing for Bella, the one with the two rabbits.

Bella's smile was enormous when she saw it, and they spent several hours making out and kissing on the new piece of furniture.

**oOo**

**Thank you for your support – you know who you are, sweet reviewers!**


	133. Chapter 133

**oOo**

"Are you looking forward to our trip?"

Edward was pulling her closer into his arms, kissing her ear. They were cuddling and kissing in bed on a Sunday morning, floating on their own little cloud of bliss. Those were their favourite times – just being together, no voices from outside, no responsibilities, no work.

"Mmm-hmm," she murmured lazily, sneaking her perpetually cold feet between his calves.

Edward didn't flinch, merely chuckling good-naturedly. She had to admit she loved the protective side about him, the fact that he was always a gentleman. It had to do with his upbringing, his parents who were a very different generation than hers – well, and Edward, who wasn't exactly her generation, either. It didn't bother her anymore, and he only sometimes grumbled about "being an old man," which always resulted in her teasing him and making him prove that he was far from it.

As a matter of fact, she could feel the evidence of his virility against her bottom right now. For a man his age, his stamina was… impressive.

Bella sighed as she felt his lips whisper over her neck.

"I am." She turned around in his arms. "But right now, there's nowhere else I'd rather be." She placed a tender kiss on his lips, and he responded.

She loved their physical connection. She'd never experienced anything like this, never this strong. With Edward, there was so much more. He always made her feel revered, and sexy – things she hadn't been accustomed to feeling before. She was free with him, light.

His hand wandered from her hip to her ribs and higher, cupping her breast.

Obviously, he was more experienced than her, but Bella had gotten to a point where it didn't worry her anymore because the past was in the past.

"What are you thinking about?" he whispered against her lips.

She thought for a second before replying. She traced his eyebrow with her fingertip.

"Basically, just how good we have it. How happy I am."

"Mmm." Edward's smile literally warmed her heart. "So am I. _You_ make me happy."

Their lips met in another kiss, deeper this time, and their hands began to wander again, touching and teasing and impatient, until Bella pushed him on his back and straddled his hips.

Their lovemaking was slow and intense, their fingers braided together as they watched one another. She loved to look at him in his passion, breathless and taken apart, knowing that she was the only one who could have him like this.

She cried out softly as her release shook through her, making her tremble endlessly. Edward's fingers were gripping her hips as he followed her seconds later, still looking at her, his face a picture of purest bliss.

They were catching their breath, and Edward was back to fondling her breasts.

"I don't want to be anywhere else, either," he murmured huskily, green eyes alive and trusting. "Just with you, my love. Forever with you."

**oOo**

**Thank you so much for your reviews for the last chapter, I'm terribly sorry I didn't get to thank everyone, but I figured you'd prefer a new chapter…**

**Much love,**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	134. Chapter 134

**oOo**

Edward Cullen did not possess a Facebook account. He had a Facebook fan page, which was hosted by Marlene, a friend of his from Paris, who was literally the first fan he'd ever had. The life online was not his thing, and the fact that he had forty-thousand followers seemed surreal to him.

His girlfriend, however, had an account. In addition to "liking" Edward Cullen's official page, she also had three-hundred-and-twenty-three friends.

One of them was, in fact, her ex-boyfriend, Stefan Schwarz, from Berlin. Seven hours after her post "Berlin next week!" he wrote her a message.

"_Hello, pretty girl," _it read._ "How exciting! Am I going to see you? xx"_

The last time Bella had heard from him had been before Christmas when he'd sent her an E-card, wishing her happy holidays and saying hello from his mum.

Two-and-a-half years ago, they had parted on friendly terms and Stefan had returned to Germany. She hadn't thought about him in weeks, but smiled now, as she read his message. There was a green dot next to his name, telling her he was online, and she typed a reply.

"_I surely hope so. How are you doing? We're arriving on the twentieth, staying for six days. Would love to see you! xx"_

"_I'm good," _he wrote after a minute_. "Lots of work. Where are you staying, and who are you going with?"_

"_The Ritz Carlton, and my boyfriend," _she wrote, noticing that she was biting her lip. It was an odd thing to tell her ex, and she didn't want him to feel bad. She added: "_He's a painter and has an exhibition at the Ephraim Palais. I'm merely his arm candy."_

"_LOL," _Stefan wrote after a moment._ "Call me by all means, I'd love to see you, and meet him. Got to go now, see you soon! xx"_

The green dot was off again.

Bella leant back her armchair and tried to imagine what it would be like to see Edward and Stefan together. They were completely different in type. Stefan was very much a businessman where Edward was an artist both in his thought process and conversation.

Edward also tended to be a bit jealous, which she found both endearing and ludicrous, since he had absolutely no reason to be. Stefan, however, had been with his new girlfriend for over a year, so that would hopefully not even be an issue.

A moment later, her phone rang and distracted her from her musings.

It was Edward, asking if he should bring anything when he was coming over for dinner. He sounded very serene, telling her that he'd spent all day in the garden.

"Just yourself," she smiled.

She would have suggested a bottle of wine, but Edward hadn't had any alcohol in weeks, and it was doing him a world of good. They hadn't discussed it, but Bella took it that he had made the decision to be better, and the facts proved her right. He even looked better, however unfair that was to the rest of the world: sober, clear-headed, at peace with himself.

It made Bella very happy to see him this way.

**oOo**

**Thank you for reading and reviewing!**


	135. Chapter 135

**oOo**

Edward was taking a break from what had not been a very successful afternoon at his studio. Nothing he started seemed right, and he was frustrated with himself as he stood in the kitchen, fixing a sandwich. The temptation to treat himself to maybe a bottle of Heineken was great, but he didn't. He'd been sober for over six weeks now, and whether or not he liked to admit it, it was doing him good. He looked better, and he felt better. He had much more energy, and his mind seemed that much clearer.

He knew that Bella knew it, too, and he was determined not to disappoint her. Edward was aware of the fact that she'd been through enough shit with him and his drinking. She was worth the effort. She was worth _any and every effort_, really.

She, really, was one of the reasons he found it hard to concentrate on his work. After all, doodled versions of naked Bella were not what he had been meaning to do.

Edward was absolutely certain that he wanted _forever_ with her. He'd been sure once before, but fate had had other plans. His wounds had healed, though the scars would always stay with him. With Bella, he was being given a second chance, and he was going to use it.

She had come into his life when he'd been at his lowest point, and like a wonder, she'd stayed.

And right then, she appeared in the kitchen, wearing a red cardigan, her smile making him smile as well.

"Hey." She stepped to him and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. "Been working?"

She was referring to his paint-splattered shirt.

"A bit," he said, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Did you find everything you need at the library?"

"Yeah," she nodded, slipping her hands into the back pockets of his jeans. "Alice called earlier, they asked if we want to join them for dinner?"

"Uh, yes, sure, why not." He'd not been expecting this, and knew that his response was lame.

"We don't have to…" She trailed off.

Edward shook his head and assured her with a thorough kiss that he'd love to go.

While he was in the shower, he thought again about the when and how of what he was going to say to Bella. Aware of the fact that she greatly valued her independence, he was afraid that it might not be an easy feat – but on the other hand, logic was on his side: she _was_ spending most of her time at his home, which he had come to think of as _their _home.

Only would she agree? To that, and to the other question that was burning on his mind?

She was so young, she had her whole life before her, who was he to demand she spend it with him? He was… damaged goods.

When he got out of the shower, Bella was in the bedroom, changing into a pretty blue dress. He stepped behind her and pulled her close, and she squealed because his hair was still wet, tickling her neck.

"I love you," he murmured in her ear. "You know that, don't you?"

"Yes." She sounded surprised at the seriousness of his tone as she turned around in his arms. Looking at him with huge, brown eyes, she smiled. "I know, Edward. And I love you. You know that, too, don't you?"

A sigh that was deeper than he'd expected left his lungs.

"I do."

**oOo**

**Thank you for reading and reviewing!**


	136. Chapter 136

**oOo**

Bella was rather nervous on the plane, which made Edward glad the flight only took eighty minutes. She was clinging to his hand during takeoff.

"Why does travelling make you so anxious, love?"

He kissed her brow. Bella was biting her lower lip.

"I don't know." She shrugged apologetically. "I always worry that I might have forgotten something… Or we could get into a turbulence."

"We'll be okay," he whispered in her ear.

He had never seen anyone watch the flight attendants' demonstrations that eagerly. It was endearing. She relaxed a bit once they were up in the air, and Edward took the chance to ask about her plans for the evening – he wasn't expected at the museum before the following day.

"Oh, I don't know. We can do some sightseeing, I guess. There's a big park near the hotel, and the Brandenburger Tor. Have you seen it?"

Edward nodded his head. He wasn't going to tell Bella that, when he'd last been to Berlin more than two years ago, his time had been devoted to bar-hopping, getting drunk.

"I can't wait for you to show me around," he murmured against her temple, deeply inhaling her familiar scent. Roses and Bella.

They landed on time, temperatures a mild and sunny twenty degrees Celsius. A cab transported them to the city after they'd collected their luggage. They looked out the windows during the drive, chatting with the driver. Well, Bella did the chatting. Edward's knowledge of German began with _Guten Tag_ and ended with _Danke schön._

Bella, on the other hand, was fluent, and he was trying hard to understand everything that was being said whenever she wasn't translating for him. The cabbie was a chatty guy, too, and Edward was watching with a smile on his face as they were being recommended places to go and shows to see.

By the time they got out in front of the hotel, Bella informed him that her German felt "rusty," and he laughed at her. They checked in and were accompanied to their room by a bellboy. Edward handed him a generous tip and thanked him while Bella wandered around the room, inspecting the complimentary fruit basket and champagne.

"Wow," she breathed once they were alone. She was gazing out the window overlooking Tiergarten, the city's largest park. Edward stepped behind her and wrapped her in his arms.

"Like it?"

"It's beautiful." She sighed happily, relaxing against him.

Edward kissed her temple.

"Just like you," he whispered. She always felt so small in his arms, making him want to protect her, wrap her in cotton wool.

They kept gazing at the budding trees and fresh greens in the park for a while, enjoying their closeness – until Bella's rumbling stomach pulled them out of their dreamy state.

"Come on," Edward said. "Let's go and have dinner somewhere nice, okay?"

They ended up in a small restaurant off Friedrichstrasse, sharing a plate of appetizers. Edward ordered the lamb and Bella had a salad, and when they were finished, Edward coerced Bella into trying the _Kaiserschmarrn_ – a devilishly delicious kind of pancake with plum sauce and ice cream.

Bella moaned with delight, which put a happy sparkle in Edward's eye.

Forty-five minutes later, she was moaning for completely different reasons.

**oOo**

**Translation: Guten Tag = How do you do/Good morning/evening. Danke schön = Thank you.**

**Thank YOU for reviewing and for supporting me! **

**Some of you may be wondering how long this story is going to be, and I think I can finally give you a landmark. Presently, I am writing chapter 155, and there will be about 170/175 in all. **

**Hugs and kisses to you all, please don't forget to leave a review, however short!**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	137. Chapter 137

**oOo**

The next morning, they stayed in bed until ten, ordering breakfast from room service.

It was when Edward came out of the shower that she noticed his tense expression. He had a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair stood in wild, damp tufts. Bella watched him from her spot in the middle of the large bed as she brushed her hair.

"I really don't mind relocating with Stefan," she said. "I can come to the museum with you."

She had suggested it last night, aware that Edward wasn't exactly happy about her meeting up with her ex-boyfriend.

"Really," she said, climbing out of bed. "We can meet him together, maybe on Monday, if it bothers you."

Edward was standing in front of the wardrobe, stepping into a pair of black dress pants. She wrapped her arms around him and leant into his broad, warm back.

"It doesn't bother me," he mumbled unconvincingly. "Or should it?"

"Edward." She placed a firm kiss between his shoulder blades. "He's a friend, nothing more. We've been separated for almost three years, and there are reasons for that. If it makes you happy, I can not meet him at all…"

"No, no." Edward turned around in her arms. He looked a bit sheepish, and a bit ashamed. "I'm sorry. Of course, I trust you. You should meet him." Bending down, he kissed her softly on the lips.

"Are you sure?" She searched his face.

"Yes." Another kiss. "I'm just a silly old fart, you know that."

"Silly, yes." She smiled up at him, brushing a strand of hair from his eyes. "I love you."

"And I love you."

"Give me a call when you're finished?"

"I will," he nodded. "You're my tour guide, remember?" He gave her bottom a playful squeeze, and the mood was back to light and easy.

.

An hour later, Bella set off to visit the Jewish Museum and the French Cathedral. She bought postcards and little souvenirs for everyone back home, and a book on the city's most important buildings and works of art for Edward.

She still didn't feel entirely good about meeting Stefan. She wanted to see him, yes, but only because she liked and respected him. It was painful to know that Edward couldn't see the situation in a more relaxed way.

Maybe it would have been better to meet Stefan at a later date, to ask Edward to accompany her. Bella had considered it, but had overruled the idea because it had seemed too odd.

Maybe the idea hadn't been too silly after all, it might have given Edward the chance to see that Stefan was absolutely in the past – that he, Edward, was her presence.

And, hopefully, she thought as she climbed the stairs out of the tube, her future.

**oOo**

**Thank you for your support; your reviews mean a LOT.**


	138. Chapter 138

**oOo**

She was to meet Stefan at a café in Tiergarten, the city's largest park. It was located by a pond, and since the sun was out, it was filled to capacity with people enjoying the warmer temperatures after one of the longest winters, ever.

Edward had written that things were going well at the museum, and Bella smiled as she swung her shopping bags to and fro, looking out for her ex-boyfriend.

Stefan was already there, getting up from a table by the water once he saw her. He was smiling, and Bella smiled back. He hadn't changed at all. Almost as tall as Edward, he was completely different in type: His blonde hair was coming to his chin and he was wearing tan leather pants and boots with a tight-fitting black sweater.

"Bella!" he welcomed her with open arms, kissing both her cheeks. "You look so pretty. It's great to see you!"

"Wow, you've groan a beard," she chuckled.

"Well, a goatee," he grinned, which made her remember so many different things. Above all, what an easy-going fellow he was – a complete contrast to her, the sensitive wallflower. At least, that was how she saw herself.

"You've become even lovelier," he said as they sat down. His eyes were clear and blue, always, clear and blue.

"Thank you. You look very well yourself."

"So, what've you been doing so far? Where's your boyfriend?"

His arms on the table, he was leaning forward and listening. The sun was in his face, and he was squinting his eyes.

"We only arrived yesterday. Oh boy, that hotel is something else." She shook her head as she thought of the luxury and lavishness.

"How come you're staying there?"

She knew him well enough to know it wasn't meant to be derogatory, he was just being curious. He knew that Bella would normally never be able to afford anything like the Ritz Carlton – let alone choose it.

"The museum pays for it. They've been after Edward for a while."

A young waitress stopped by their table to take their orders.

"So…" Stefan continued to eye her with a well-known glint of amusement. "You never told me you're dating _Edward Cullen_."

Bella felt her cheeks get warm and she chewed on her lip for a moment before answering.

"Well, we didn't talk in a long time, did we?"

"Isn't he like, fifty?"

It was said with lightness in his tone, but she could hear the seriousness behind it. Stefan had always been protective of her, always aware of her precarious self-image.

"He's forty," she replied. "And it doesn't really matter."

Stefan nodded. "You look very happy, Bella. Very… sparkling."

"Uh, thanks."

They both laughed. Their drinks arrived and for a couple of minutes, they were silent, sipping their coffees and watching the goings-on around them. Birds were singing and the squealing of children filled the air.

"And… is it okay for him? That we're meeting?"

"Of course. He's at the museum right now. The exhibition opens on Saturday."

They fell into an easy conversation, chatting about Bella's studies and Stefan's job as a press consultant for Charité Berlin, the city's biggest hospital. He was seeing a girl from work, and Bella could tell from his smile that it was serious for him.

It was nice talking with him, and despite their history, there was zero weirdness. It was only when her phone rang that Bella noticed almost two hours had passed.

Edward's face appeared on the screen of her phone, making her heart jump happily.

**oOo**


	139. Chapter 139

**oOo**

Edward spent hours at the museum, discussing how his paintings were to be hung. Everyone was extremely courteous and friendly, but he couldn't get over that nagging jealousy at the back of his mind, hating himself for it every time his thoughts wandered to Bella.

He had lunch with the director of the museum before they headed back, spending more hours figuring out shadows and light.

It was half past five when he finally left the dainty rococo building and called Bella. He'd been feeling uneasy all day, as if being away from Bella made him physically incomplete.

She answered after two rings, her cheerful voice lifting his spirits immediately.

"Hey. Are you finished?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"You've been there all day?"

"Yeah. They're really thorough. It'll be good."

"That's great. Where are you now?"

"Um, near Nikolaiviertel," he replied. "Where are you?"

"I'm in Tiergarten with Stefan. Why don't you come and collect me, then we can have dinner somewhere?"

Edward wasn't exactly keen on meeting her ex, but figured it would show some maturity on his part to just suck it up and be nice.

"Okay, sure." He was already hailing a taxi. "Ill call you when I'm there."

"Good," she replied.

Twenty minutes later, he walked to the café, and he could see Bella before she saw him. She was sitting with her back to him, her hair shining in the last bits of afternoon sun. Across from her was a blonde man in a black sweater. He was laughing. He was handsome, too.

Noticing Edward approaching their table, he said something to Bella, who turned around. Her eyes lit up with her smile.

"Hi," she called, and reached out for his hands. Half getting up, she greeted him with a kiss and squeezed his fingers before turning back to the man. He had gotten up, ready to shake Edward's hand.

"Edward, this is Stefan, Stefan, this is Edward."

"Good to meet you," he said.

"Yes, you too," Edward replied.

A slightly awkward pause, and everyone sat down.

"So it went well?" Bella pulled his hand into her lap.

"Perfect." He nodded his head, aware of Stefan's curious gaze. "I might go back tomorrow morning though."

"Oh, okay." Bella nodded, then turned back to Stefan.

Edward looked at him as well. He looked so different from what he'd imagined. Wasn't he some public relations dude? To him, he looked like a surfer guy, or a bike riding… Wait, hadn't Bella mentioned it some time? That he loved fiddling with his bike, and had sometimes taken her on rides?

Bella and her ex chatted about restaurants while Edward was silently brooding. A bypassing server bore a tray with tall glasses of beer, making him ache for one, just one, to quell the longing.

"Doch!" Stefan's voice pulled him out of his pity party. "Sie haben dort alles umgebaut, du musst es dir ansehen!"

Great. Now they were talking in German.

Well, Stefan had been saying one sentence in German, but Edward's frown was deepening. When the waitress came to their table and asked if they wanted anything else, he ordered a large beer.

**oOo**

**Translation: "They did! They rebuilt everything, you've got to look at it!"**

**A/N: I took some liberty with the location of Edward's art show. The Ephraim Palais usually only exhibits works/painters directly involved with the city or the history of Berlin, but it's a very pretty building. You can Google it…**

**Have a great weekend, and thank you for reviewing!**


	140. Chapter 140

**oOo**

Bella was getting worried. Seriously worried.

She had been chatting harmlessly with Stefan, noticing that Edward's expression had been getting more morose by the minute. Just when she'd been ready to ask the waitress for the bill, he'd surprised her by ordering a large beer.

Now, barely ten minutes later, he was finishing it.

Stefan didn't seem to notice her tension, talking amiably about Edward's work and how Berlin seemed to be a great place for artists. Edward wasn't exactly hostile, but she could sense that he was anything but happy about meeting her ex. Only she couldn't quite discern why. She couldn't really believe he was jealous, she couldn't believe that Edward could ever doubt her complete devotion.

_She_ was the one who was lucky to be with _him_, after all – he was famous, he was wealthy, he was insanely handsome, and he was a great artist. What did she have to offer?

"So, you think we should try that restaurant you mentioned? What is it called again?"

She was getting antsy, wanting to get Edward out of this situation, to prevent further harm.

"Cookies Cream," Stefan replied. "Yes, definitely go there. They have the best vegetarian dishes in town."

"Cool." She smiled anxiously. "What do you say, darling?" She touched Edward's thigh.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. Sure. Let's go there."

"Okay, then…"

Stefan was gesticulating for the waitress that they were ready to leave. He and Edward got into a small fight over the bill, manly pride at stake on both sides.

Bella was rolling her eyes at them, not really amused.

After Edward won, they made their way out of the park. Stefan had his bike parked nearby. She didn't understand a lot about these things, but it was obviously a very nice and expensive specimen.

"Wow," Edward said with one raised eyebrow. "That yours?"

"Yep." Stefan grinned, looking like he was more than willing to elaborate further, but Edward merely rubbed his ear and nodded, an odd expression on his face.

Another awkward silence spread between them when it was time to say goodbye. Normally, Bella would have kissed Stefan's cheek, but she was certain it would give Edward the wrong message.

"It was lovely to see you, Bella." Her ex-boyfriend's smile was genuine and open. "You too, Edward. Good luck with the exhibition."

"Thanks."

They shook hands.

Bella gave Stefan a loose hug, and they watched him drive off.

Now, the silence was awkward between the two of them. Bella turned to look at Edward.

"What was_ that_?" she said.

He didn't look at her, staring at her shoulder instead.

"What's going on, Edward?"

"What do you mean, what's going on? It was _your_ meeting with _your_ ex-boyfriend." He was very defensive. "And you both enjoyed it, didn't you?"

The slight spark of anger that had been kindled in Bella's stomach when Edward had ordered his beer was growing into something hotter.

"What exactly is it you're insinuating?"

"I'm not insinuating anything."

"Yes you are. You're jealous, and you know, or you should know, that you haven't the slightest reason to be."

"Do I?"

It was the first time he looked at her during their dialogue, and Bella could see that the moment the words had left his lips, he regretted them.

Still, they felt like a tiny dagger in her heart. Even if he hadn't meant it, he had just said that he didn't trust her.

Bella bit her lip to not start crying.

"Oh God," Edward groaned. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, love. I didn't mean it."

Her eyes and nose were prickling with unshed tears.

"Let's just go back to the hotel, okay?" she said. "I'm not really hungry, anyway."

**oOo**

**Thank you so much for your support, my lovely reviewers! Your comments, however short, make me happy, and they make me want to continue this story, however hard it is at the moment. Life and work get in the way of writing so much right now.**

**I'm sorry I couldn't thank every one of you for reviewing, ff was having some problems. **

**I have the best readers in the world. Thank you.**


	141. Chapter 141

**oOo**

Edward was certain that she hadn't eaten anything since breakfast. Avoiding food, he had come to know, was always Bella's response to stress. And this time, her stress had been caused by none other than yours truly. What should have, could have become a splendid and relaxed evening was now a bleak-looking prospect.

They were side by side in a cab, silent. Bella's hands were fidgeting in her lap. Such small, pale hands. Her face was turned away from him as she looked out the window, clearly stating that she was not interested in any form of contact right now.

The drive wasn't a long one. Potsdamer Platz was bustling with tourists and pre-dinner crowds as they made their way into the hotel, and to the elevators.

Silence enveloped them like a heavy fog as they stepped into their room. Bella slipped off her shoes and walked to the bathroom.

"I'm going to have a shower," she said, her voice low and just so sad.

"'kay," he sighed.

The urge to raid the mini bar was strong as he sat down by the window, listening to the sound of running water next door, watching the sun set in soft oranges over the city.

But Edward didn't. He ordered veggie sandwiches from room service and gulped down a tall glass of water. The fuzz he'd had earlier from the beer had long since gone.

She came out of the bathroom a little later, her hair in a funny bun on top of her head, wearing a white hotel bathrobe. Her face was clean and devoid of any makeup, her eyes red, confirming what he'd suspected already.

Her movements were slow and despondent as she searched for something in her suitcase.

"I ordered room service," Edward said from his place by the window. "Some sandwiches, is that okay?"

"Hmm," she hummed, never turning to look at him. "Like I said, I'm not hungry anyway."

"You've got to eat something, love."

At some level, he knew this was the worst thing he could say to her, bringing up her problems. On another, subconscious level, he immediately felt that it had been right.

A hollow laugh, and she looked up, her eyebrows raised in sarcasm.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I've got to eat. You've got to drink."

_Ouch._

"But I didn't," he said, taking a couple of steps in her direction. "I didn't get drunk just now. Doesn't that count for something?"

Crossing the last bit of distance between them, he stood before her.

She looked so pale, so small.

"I love you, Bella," he said. "You make me want to be a better man. For you. I've…" He ran a hand through his hair. "I've never had anything like this. Not this way."

She swallowed, her large, dark, wise eyes on his. Waiting.

Edward cleared his throat, tentatively taking her hands in his.

He had two questions to ask Bella. For one of them, it was too soon. But the other, he was definitely going to pose tonight.

**oOo**

**Thank you, my lovely readers. **


	142. Chapter 142

**oOo**

They sat down on the bed.

"I'm frightfully sorry," Edward said. He took her hands in his, and again, Bella could feel the tears pricking at her eyes.

"I don't know what happened just now. I felt just so… threatened." He sighed deeply.

"But why, darling?"

"I don't really know. I'm far from perfect." He swallowed. "I couldn't help but think what you must have had with _him_…"

"Edward. What I have with _you_ is what's important. Stefan… he's totally in the past. How can you not see that?"

"I don't know," he said again, and also, "I'm sorry."

Finally, her tears spilled over. They were for him, for him not being able to himself clearly at all. Beautiful inside and out, a world-renowned artist, he had such a low opinion on Edward Cullen.

"Why does everything always have to be so difficult?" she whispered.

Edward drew her closer, gently wiping her tears away with the pad of his thumb, his green eyes pained for her pain.

"I'm sorry," he said again, staring at their entwined hands.

"Stop saying that." She shook her head. "I just… I don't want you to…"

She didn't need to finish the sentence.

"I know." His voice was deep and thick. "I know, love."

They were silent for some long minutes.

Edward hadn't turned on the lights after she'd gone to have her shower, and the room was starting to envelop them in darkness.

"I've never had a very high opinion on myself," Edward said after a while. "I mean, even as a kid… I guess it's why I first started to paint."

"And is that why you…" she trailed off, again not wanting to say the word.

Edward did it for her. "Drink?" he said, looking up and into her eyes.

She said nothing, slightly nodding her head.

"Maybe. Also, it makes working easier."

"How so?"

She was playing with his fingers, caressing them lightly with her own.

"It lowers inhibitions, well that's obvious, I guess. It makes it easier to get stuff out. Stuff from within."

"I see."

They were silent again, sitting there in the dark, close to each other. The tension was almost gone, and Bella's tears had dried.

"Look at us," she said after some time. "Always putting obstacles in front of ourselves."

"Yeah." Edward laughed a little. He rested his head on her shoulder, wrapping his arms around her once more.

She said nothing, but kissed his forehead.

"I love you so much." He took a deep breath. He kissed her neck.

"I love you too."

"When we return to London…" He heaved a sigh. "When we return to London."

"What is it, Edward?"

"I don't want to be without you, love. Ever again."

"You won't be."

She frowned, wondering where this was going. She ran her fingers through his hair.

"I don't want to be without you," he repeated. He moved so he could look into her eyes. "Bella, will you move in with me?"

**oOo**

**I'm so sorry about the late, late, late update. I was away for ten days and couldn't go online with my MacBook.**

**Have a good time, and thank you for your support – you know who you are, and I couldn't do it without you!**

**Your**

**harperpitt**


	143. Chapter 143

**oOo**

"Do you want to take this?"

Bella looked up from her spot on the floor to where Leah was holding a rather battered- looking frying pan.

"No, not really. Though maybe I should. Edward's kitchen supplies are disastrous."

"Yeah, but… he could buy some, right?" Leah was giving her a rather comical frown. "I mean, now that you're moving in, you're going to cook all the time, aren't you?"

The thought made Bella's heart flutter and she caught herself smiling goofily at the box in front of her. It was filled with books and journals, and she was in the process of placing shawls, hats, and towels on top.

"I guess," she smiled.

Leah grinned. "Gosh, Bella, you're so cute. You're so in love." Her black eyes were warm as she crossed the distance between them, sitting down next to her friend. She kissed Bella's cheek with an exaggerated smack.

Bella, who had blushed a little, smiled.

"I know. I'm besotted with him." She chewed on her lip for a moment before looking at Leah again. "D'you think it's too early?"

"You know I can't answer that question for you, sweetie. If you feel it's right, it's right."

Bella considered this for a moment. "Yes. It's right._ He's_ right. The right one." Another sappy grin.

"And…" Leah leant a little closer. "In every way?"

"What do you mean?" Bella smiled, for she already had a suspicion what her friend was hinting at.

Leah wiggled her eyebrows. "You know what I mean, Bella. Is the sex good?"

Bella's cheeks turned pink once more.

"It's amazing," she whispered. "No one's ever made me feel this way before."

"Wasn't it good with Stefan?"

"It was okay, but Edward… I suppose it's because I really, really love him so much. He's tender, and passionate, and… At first, I found it intimidating, you know, the fact that he's much more experienced than I am, but it's not…"

"You've gained some self confidence, I think."

"Maybe. Yes, I guess. About my body, yes, definitely."

"Because of the way he sees you?"

Bella nodded, toying with a pair of mittens from the box.

"He makes me see myself in a different way. He makes me feel beautiful. You know how I am."

"Yes," Leah said softly. She'd been there throughout Bella's worst times, trying to help her friend overcome her distorted body image.

"You know how I've always been feeling horrible about my breasts?" Bella's cheeks reddened again, but it also felt liberating to say it out loud. Leah wordlessly urged her to go on.

"Well, he loves them." Bella swallowed. "So much."

"You're a beautiful woman, Bella. It's so good you're finally realizing that. If Edward helps you with that, it's great."

"I think I feel more like a woman now than like a girl," Bella added thoughtfully.

"You think you'll stay together, like forever?"

The gap between Leah's front teeth made an appearance as she smilingly looked at Bella.

"I hope so."

"Getting married? Having babies? Oooh, you two will have the prettiest babies!"

"Shush!" Bella playfully slapped her arm. "I'm moving in with him, and that's all for now."

But she couldn't control the warm tingling at the bottom of her stomach as she considered Leah's words.

**oOo**

**Thank you for reading, and for your continued support!**

**Have a great weekend, everyone!**


	144. Chapter 144

_o_

"_See? Everything is turning out well."_

"_You think? But I'm afraid, Irina. What if she finds me out? Sees me for who I am?"_

"_She sees you very clearly, Edward."_

"_I don't know… If she leaves me… I'll die if she leaves me…"_

"_Shh, darling. Try and relax, okay?"_

_o_

"Your gran's armchair looks great over there."

"Are you sure? You don't mind?"

"Mind?" Edward chuckled and drew her in his arms, raining tiny, soft kisses on her neck and ear. "I love having you here. I can't wait to come home to you, finding you sit here by the bay window with a book…"

"Mmm…" Bella sighed happily, not so much at the visual, but at the things he was doing to her with his lips.

"Home," he whispered. "Our home."

"Yes…"

She twined her arms closer around his neck, deep warmth spreading through her stomach.

"I love you…"

"I love you too."

Edward's left hand wandered from the small of her back to her bottom, while his right travelled higher, cupping her breast.

"I'll never get finished unpacking at this rate," she chuckled into his chest.

"No hurry. You have time… _We_ have time." He put a gentle kiss on her ear that made her shudder.

"We don't have that much time," she sighed. "Our families will be here in three hours." She squirmed as he nipped at her neck. "Aren't you nervous about them meeting?"

Edward's green eyes were serene as he shook his head.

"No. Why should I? They'll get along great. Your parents are nice, relaxed… so are mine. And our sisters will be there, too, and Emmett… It's going to be great, you'll see."

Pulling her close again, he buried his face in her hair.

Once again, she considered the differences between them. Where she was totally on edge, Edward stayed completely calm. On the other hand, things that left her unruffled could make him uneasy. Maybe it was a good balance.

"C'mon." She gave his chin a kiss and his butt a grope. "Help me with the food."

Edward growled into her ear, but followed suit.

.

Edward had been right in predicting that their family dinner would be easy. The meeting of the parents was cordial and warm, and the other family members only helped dissipate any tension that might have been there. They had endless topics to chat about, from art to social work and TV. Bella could tell that her dad was a bit impressed to be meeting Rosalie, whom he'd only known from the TV, and Jackie was openly admiring her.

Esme and Renee got along beautifully, and Esme and Ro insisted on helping Bella with dinner while Edward gave everyone else a tour of the house. The Swans had brought Pookie after asking Bella if it would be okay. When she'd brought it up, Edward's eyes had lit up, and he'd encouraged the plan.

Right now, Emmett and Pookie were in the garden, playing with each other.

Ro chuckled as she watched from the kitchen window.

"Em is such a child."

"Aren't all men?" Esme asked, not looking up from the bread she was slicing.

Bella, who was placing hors d'oeuvres on a serving plate, chewed on her lip and decided to speak up.

"You know, I've been thinking… do you think it would be nice for Edward if we got a dog?"

Esme and Rosalie both looked at her, two pairs of blue eyes alight with joy.

"Have you talked to him about it?" Esme asked.

"No, no. I wasn't sure."

"I think it's a great idea," Rosalie said.

Right then, there were voices from the living room, alerting them that the tour was finished, and a few moments later, all three women watched as Edward joined his brother-in-law in the garden, squatting down to pat old Pookie's head.

**oOo**

**Dearest readers,**

**I'm going to take my MacBook to the doctor tomorrow, so I don't know when I'll be able to post again.**

**Sorry for not thanking each and every one of you for the sweet reviews – you guys made my week! Your words put a huge big smile on my face.**

**Your support means the world to me. I know, I've said it so many times, but it's true: I couldn't do it without you!**

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**Your**

**harperpitt**


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